411's WWE Smackdown Report 03.21.08

Posted by Brad Borchardt on 03.21.2008

The Undertaker battles ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero and champions collide on the VIP Lounge as we are winding down the road to WrestleMania!

Welcome all to the Smackdown Report. Sorry in advance if the Report isn't up to snuff. With two papers this week, two exams, work, and other things, I have been out of loop as of late and even owe 411 an apology as I just realized yesterday I missed out on covering somebody's column this week. Hopefully things ease up this week.

We kick the show off with the Animal, Batista!

Match #1: Batista vs. Deuce & Domino in a Handicap Match

Batista kicks it off with Deuce. He shoves Deuce in the corner and hits some shoulder thrusts. Batista takes out Domino but Deuce takes advantage with a heel kick. Tag to Domino and he pounds away on Batista. Tag to Deuce and Batista hits him with a high elbow. Batista misses a clothesline and Deuce gets the tag to Domino. Domino nails a knee to the face of Batista but Batista battles back and takes out Deuce. Spear to Domino followed by a spinebuster. Thumbs up, thumbs down, Batista Bomb to Domino and that's all.

Winner: Batista via pin fall

In the back, Cherry and Maryse are talking about Deuce & Domino losing. Maryse then says she can't believe Cherry is still in the Diva Competition, calls her a dog, and leaves.

-Commercial-

Assistant Manager Teddy Long comes out and brings out the remaining contestants for the Dive Competition. Eve, Cherry, Victoria, and Michelle McCool. Long announces that tonight there will be an arm wrestling tournament between the four right now. Victoria and Eve kick it off. Victoria blows in Eve's face or spits in it and gets the win. Michelle and Cherry go at it with Michelle getting the duke. It's down to Victoria and Michelle and it's even for a while until Michelle wins it. They then line up and Long announces that Victoria is eliminated off by the fans. My girl Cherry is still in it. Michelle and Victoria brawl afterwards with Michelle sending her out off a big kick to the face.

-Commercial-

We get a bunch of highlight videos of Big Show vs. Mayweather at WrestleMania

Match #2: Big Show vs. Andy Douglas, Chase Stevens, Luke Hawx

The Naturals are in the WWE! Big Show boots down Stevens, slams Hawx, and shoves Douglas in the corner. Show hits Stevens with the Final Cut. Show then chops the Hell out of Hawx and hits throws him out of the ring. Show boots Stevens out of the ring and nails the right punch to Douglas for the win.

Winner: Big Show via pin fall on Andy Douglas

-Commercial-

Match #3: WWE World Heavyweight Champion Edge w/ Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder vs. Funaki (non title)

Edge backs Funaki up in the corner and slaps him in the head. He starts to mock Funaki. Edge gets a snap mare takedown and laughs Funaki off. Edge gets a headlock and then a shoulder block. Funaki fights back tough with a kick to head and a cross body off the top rope. Edge fires right back with a big boot. Edge kicks away on Funaki and then baseball slides him out of the ring. Edge rolls out of the ring and whips Funaki into the crowd barrier. He rolls Funaki back in the ring and hits a swinging neck breaker. Funaki gets a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. Funaki hits the enziguri but Edge nails a Spear! Edge gets a two count as he broke the count himself. He then rolls his eyes back, does the Taker throat cut, and hits Funaki with the Tombstone Piledriver for the win.

Winner: Edge via pin fall

Edge gets on the mic after the match and says that two weeks ago, he pinned Undertaker like he said he would. He has never lost to the Undertaker and it won't happen anytime soon. Tonight, he is going to step to a whole new level and by the end of the night, everyone will know what he is talking about.

-Commercial-

We're back with WWE United States Champion MVP and his VIP Lounge. He has the Money in the Bank briefcase above the ring and a ladder. He introduces his guest tonight, the man who invented Money in the Bank along with being a multiple time champion, Chris Jericho. Before Jericho comes out, MVP brags about his run as United States Champion and beating former World Champions like Rey Mysterio, Ric Flair, *cough*Chris Benoit*cough*, and Batista. He then says he is better than guys like CM Punk, Mr. Kennedy, etc. until Jericho's music hits and out comes Y2J. Jericho had to come out early because he was sick of MVP boring the crowd and he was excited to be on Smackdown for the first time in six years. He tells MVP he hates cocky, loud mouths with their own talk shows. MVP lists Jericho's accomplishments along with Big Show punching him out on RAW. Jericho then runs down MVP as over paid, over rated, and being a lucky man to be names Montel Vontavious Porter so he could be MVP. He then says how lucky he missed out on being named Zachary Ignacious Taylor, Luther Octavious Samson Ernest Rogers, or Jeremiah Antonio Cleavon Kelsey Albert Smith Schwartz. MVP tells Jericho all he does is talk. He hasn't saved anyone or himself from JBL, Orton, or Big Show. MVP then climbs the ladder, grabs the briefcase, and tells Jericho he is better than him. Jericho than shoves the ladder down and MVP eats ring.

-Commercial-

Match #4: Chuck Palumbo vs. Kane

If you need a new bike or one fixed, call 619-977-4884. Chuck and Kane grapple with Kane eventually knocking down Chuck with a shoulder block. Both men up and Chuck elbows Kane. Both men start exchanging blows until Chuck sends Kane flying into the turnbuckle. Chuck works on the shoulder that hit the turnbuckle. Kane gets to the ropes but Chuck hits him with a clothesline. Chuck continues to work on the shoulder until Kane gets out of an arm bar and hits Chuck with a big boot. Kane nails him with the flying clothesline and goes for the chokeslam, but Chuck rolls out of the ring. Chuck walks to his bike but Kane stops him and sends him back in the ring. Kane clotheslines Chuck out of the ring as we go to commercial.

-Commercial-

We're back with Chuck hammering away on Kane. They run at each other and bonk heads. This brings out the Great Khali. He chops Kane and hits Chuck with the Khali Bomb. Khali Bomb to Kane. This brings out Mark Henry. Khali tries a chop but Henry blocks it and nails him with the World's Strongest Slam, then takes out Chuck and Kane. Quite impressive.

Winner: DRAW

-Commercial-

Match #5: Jesse and Festus vs. WWE Tag Team Champions John Morrison and Miz for the WWE Tag Team Championship

The bell rings and Festus hammers Morrison. He pounds away on Morrison and then hits a shoulder block. Morrison rolls out of the ring and Festus chases him and sends him back in the ring. Miz goes to the top rope and jumps at Festus but he hits him in mid air and goes back to Morrison. Tag to Jesse who hits the swinging neck breaker on Morrison. Jesse trips up Morrison and then hits a flying cross body off the top rope. Miz distracts Jesse and Morrison hits the heel kick. Tag to Miz and we gets a modified shoulder lock. Jesse gets to his feet but Miz knocks him down. Tag to Morrison and he mounts Jesse with right hands. Morrison poses for the crowd and Jesse takes advantage with a sunset flip for two. Morrison gets back on Jesse and gets a chin lock. Jesse gets to his feet and rolls off Morrison. Morrison stops him from tagging and hits him with a drop toehold. Tag to Miz and he drops an elbow for two. Miz works on the back of Jesse and then locks in another chin lock. Jesse hits a jawbreaker but Miz tags Morrison to prevent Jesse from tagging Festus. Morrison gets a few kicks to the back of Jesse. He goes for a suplex but Jesse gets one on Morrison and tags Festus as Miz gets tagged. Festus goes ape shit on Miz and whips both Morrison and Miz in the air. Fall away slam to Miz and a Festus Drop. Tag to Jesse and Festus throws him at Miz. Morrison takes out Festus, which allows Miz to regain himself and hit the Reality Check on Jesse for the win.

Winners and Still WWE Tag Team Champions: John Morrison and Miz via pin fall on Jesse by Miz

-Commercial-

Match #6: ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero w/ WWE World Heavyweight Champion Edge, Curt Hawkins, and Zack Ryder vs. Undertaker (non title)

Taker starts quick on Chavo with some strikes and kicks. Back body drop by Taker followed by some shoulder thrusts. Taker nails Old School to Taker and them some more strikes. Taker glances at Edge and the Edgeheads giving Chavo a chance for a few kicks until Taker throws Chavo around. Goozle by Taker but gets distracted and Chavo kicks him so Taker hits him with a side slam. Edgeheads distract again and Chavo attacks from behind. Chavo slams Taker's head into the announce table and gets a few shots after they get back in the ring. Chavo locks in an arm bar but Taker makes it to the ropes. Chavo doesn't break the hold so Taker lifts Chavo up and slams him. Taker comes out firing with rights and then nails the running splash. Snake eyes and big boot to Chavo. Taker takes out Edge and Hawkins. Chokeslam to Chavo and then Taker whips Ryder into Edge and Hawkins. Gogoplata to Chavo and Chavo taps.

Winner: Undertaker via submission

After the match, the Edgeheads attack and Edge nails Taker with a chair. Hawkins and Ryder gets chairs and one for Edge too. They all attack Taker with the chairs. The beating goes on until Edge nails Taker with a huge shot to the head. Edge then lays a chair under Taker's head, has Ryder and Hawkins hold him, and hits him with the Con-Chair-To.

Here are the rules of the 2008 Smackdown Wrestler of the Year Competition followed by who scored what tonight:
1. The winner of each match will receive two points unless it is by count out or DQ in which they will receive one point.
2. The winner of a title match will receive an additional point for retaining and two additional points for winning a belt.
3. The winner of the main event will get an additional point.
4. The winner of a specialty match will get an additional point.
5. In a tag team match, a wrestler on the winning team that does not pick up the win will get one point. If the match ends in a DQ or a DRAW, both members of the winning team will get one point.
6. If the match ends in a draw, all wresters involved will get half a point for participating.
7. If it is an elimination match, each elimination is worth one point.
8. If the match is for example, a Best Two Out of Three Falls Match or an Iron Man Match, each fall is worth one point.



Batista won via pin fall: 2 Points
Big Show won via pin fall: 2 Points
Edge won via pin fall: 2 Points
Kane competes in a Draw: ½ Point
Chuck Palumbo competes in a Draw: ½ Point
Morrison wins and retains a title: 2 Points
Miz wins via pin fall and retains a title: 3 Points
Undertaker wins via submission in main event: 3 Points
Undertaker, Edge, and Batista all make big moves in the top of the list this week heading into WrestleMania. This was a good show this week with a good tag title match, good build with Money in the Bank, and good build for Edge vs. Undertaker. Too many squashes for my taste though.

1. Undertaker (17)

2.Batista (14)

3. Rey Mysterio (13)

4. WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Edge (12)

5. Kane (10.5)

6. Festus (9)
6. Jimmy Wang Yang (9)

8. Curt Hawkins (8.5)
8. Zack Ryder (8.5)

10. Chuck Palumbo (8)
10. Finlay (8)

12. WWE United States Champion: MVP (7.5)

13. Big Show (7)
13. CM Punk (ECW) (7)

15. Great Khali (6)
15. Jesse (6)

17. ECW Champion: Chavo Guerrero (5)
17. Shannon Moore (5)

19. WWE Tag Team Champion: John Morrison (ECW) (4.5)

20. Big Daddy V (ECW) (4)

21. WWE Tag Team Champion: Miz (ECW) (3.5)

22. Shelton Benjamin (ECW) (3)
22. Victoria (3)

24. Jaime Noble (2.5)
24. Michelle McCool (2.5)

26. Hornswoggle (2)

27. Kenny Dykstra (1)
27. Ric Flair (1)

29. Balls Mahoney (ECW) (.5)
29. Layla (ECW) (.5)
29. Mark Henry (.5)