411’s TNA Impact Report 3.27.08

Posted by Larry Csonka on 03.27.2008

Wacky TNA Title of the Week: Sting Returns…



TNA Impact Begins…NOW!
-During CSI they did live cut-ins from Orlando, hyping LIVE Impact, Sting's return and the Knockout's Title Match. There are rumors that they turned away 3,000 people for tonight's show.

-Booker T and Robert Roode and brawling in the crowd as the show begins. They brawl to the ring and as and this brings out Banks and Brooks. Brooks gets a spear on Banks as security hits the ring and breaks them up. Booker and Roode continue to brawl until security tackles them to the mat. Roode is being taken away along with Banks.

-Tenay and West welcome us to the show and run down what we'll see tonight. You can now vote on Kong's opponent for tonight!

-Jim Cornette now says we can vote on Roode vs. Booker T, the fans will pick last man standing, an I Quit Match with the ladies in the corners, or they can choose first blood. GO VOTE AT TNAWRESTLING.COM!

-JB is with AJ and Tomko. They talk about the workout with Angle. AJ discusses Karen moving out as Tomko works out. AJ then bitches about Team 3D and Ray stealing his food when they eat. Tomko says they shouldn't sweat Sting or anyone since they are the champs. Angle arrives and says they better be thinking about the exhibition. Hi gives Tomko gloves since he just beat down some guy in a shoot in Japan. He reminds them to bring it or they may get hurt. He then tells JB to work out, because next week maybe his turn.

X-SCAPE QUALIFYING MATCH: Johnny Devine w/Team 3D vs. Alex Shelley

Devine has a camera with him in a nod to the old Paparazzi days with Alex. No Chris Sabin with Alex. Devine attacks at the bell. Off the ropes and a back elbow connects. He comes back, gets the code breaker and then a DDT. Rights by Alex, off the ropes and a forearm to Devine. Chops by Alex, an Irish whip and corner clothesline by Alex. Devine back with forearm shots, upper cuts and off the ropes but Alex with a head scissors. The lights flicker on and off during the match and 3D bails. Alex gets a diving nee strike off of the apron on Devine and then nails a suicide dive on Devine! They cut to the ladies arguing in the back as we head to a commercial @ 2:50.

Back from commercial @ 6:50 with Devine covering Alex for 2. Snap suplex by Devine gets 2. Stomps by Devine, he mocks Alex and this allows Alex to come back with chops. A forearm shot by Alex and then a basement dropkick. A clothesline and another turns Devine inside out. A spinebuster and then a lionsualt gets 2 for Alex. Alex reverses a whip, Devine misses a cross body and Alex gets a superkick. Sliced bread countered and a backslide by Alex gets 2. Alex dumps him to the floor, he grabs the camera and nails Alex in the face. Devine in, butterfly piledriver connects and that is all.

Winner: Johnny Devine @ 9:30 via pin

-Curry Man, Sonjay Dutt and Devine have all qualified to dace Black Machismo at Lockdown.

-Machismo and Val go to the gym together to prepare for his X-Scape Match. Petey shows up and calls Machismo a lightweight. Val spots Machismo as he benches 400lbs. Dutt is here, hits on Machismo and they leave as the weight crushes Machismo. Wow.

-Tenay and West discuss the fan voting for the ladies title match as well as Roode vs. Booker T.

-We go to Booker T and bitches about Cornette. He wants Roode in the ring on eon one, to beat him like he is his daddy. After tonight, Roode will never be near his wife again because he will not make it to Lockdown. He wants Roode's blood, I WANT ROBERT ROODE'S BLOOD…YOU DIG?


-JB is with 3D and Devine. Ray is happy with Devine for beating Shelley. He says that he needs to destroy the X-Division. Ray then says that Sting and they have never crossed. He was babied in WCW, and while Sting put WCW out of business, they were setting WWE on fire. If Sting stays away from them, they will stay away from him. They will slap the face paint off of him. The lights flicker and they get freaked.

-HAHAHA they show one of the Highlanders in the crowd. THE WAR IS ON!


Scott Steiner, Petey Williams and Rhaka Khan vs. LAX (Homicide, Hernandez y Salinas)

Cide and Petey to begin. Steiner stops that and Hernandez and he stand off. Looks as if they will begin, eye poke by Steiner and chops follow. Off the ropes and Hernandez scoops him up, catapult and a clothesline and elbow drop by Cide. They attack Petey, basement dropkick by Cide and Petey rolls to the floor. Petey in and takes down Cide, jawbreaker connects and then a spin kick levels Cide. Tag to Steiner, chops, off the ropes and an overhead belly to belly by Steiner gets 2. Steiner sets Cide up top, goes up and gets a HUGE overhead belly to belly on Cide, which gets 2 as Steiner pulls him up. Tag to Petey, Cide battles back and gets the gringo cutter! Steiner in and knocks Cide into a tag, which was sloppy. Hernandez in with a shoulder block. Cracker jack to Petey. SICK release reverse TBONE to Petey! Sit out powerbomb to Petey and Khan is in to break things up. Salinas in and she jumps on her back, but gets tossed down. They go to the floor, Hernandez with a HUGE dive onto Steiner! GRINGO KILLER reversed…Destroyer reversed, bridging TBONE by Cide gets the pin on Petey.

Winners: LAX @ 4:50 via pin

-After the match Steiner handcuffs and blindfolds Petey again.

-Rough Cuts with BG and Kip James. They discuss the Feast or Fired match, which was the root of their problems. BG discusses the dream of tagging with his father, while Kip says he shouldn't have picked his dad over him. BG says Kip knew how he felt and doesn't understand the jealousy, and says Kip has an ego. Kip says he shouldn't have had to stand aside. BG says it is a misunderstanding, they were like brothers. That meant something to BG and they threw away their legacy.


-We get a Lockdown commercial with no sound, that's not good.

-We now get a Consequences Creed Video with no sound.

-Earlier today Tenay had a sit down interview with Karen Angle. Tenay was skeptical, but now that she moved out with the kids, it is real. I was hard to do and she couldn't live with what she did to the other people. She needs to set an example for her kids. She says Kurt is possessed with Joe. The kids come running to them when they went home and he shows no feeling for them. He doesn't embrace the kids. She is an adult, she understands that she has to take a backseat, but the kids shouldn't have to. Tenay asks about her seeing someone on the roster. She says that she has met someone that treats her right. The way Kurt used to treat her. She will not confirm anything else.

-They discuss the fan voting again. I hear the site has been down. Oops.


-We see video of Samoa Joe's training camp. He is cage training! It is all about the title. Marcus Davis comments again as we see workout video. Joe says it has never been just them in the ring. This time it will be different, it will be just them, one on one. Joe says he has always owned Kurt one on one.

-Joe is here via satellite from Big Bear! His training has been extreme, and every day he has been there, he gets closer to taking Angle out. There will be a war. Tenay says Angle has won 3 of 4 meetings, and Joe says he could make excuses, but he won't. He will win the title and bring back respect to the title. He will earn the belt by the sweat of his brow. Joe has had regrets since saying that he would leave if he lost, but if he cannot be the best then it is not worth being in TNA. He is coming for the title, he will take it by any means it takes and he will become the new TNA champion!

-Frank Trigg joins Tenay and West. He is excited to be there. It would have been cooler if it were Mir.

KURT ANGLE TRAINING
They will do one-minute rounds.

Angle and Tomko begin. Angle gets an arm triangle off of the takedown, but Tomko escapes. Angle takes him down again, Tomko is bleeding from some shots by Angle and the time is out.

AJ is in with his Gainesville Vocational Singlet! AJ tries to stay away, Angle is pissed about this.

Tomko is back in and he doesn't look happy. Tomko shoots, but gets stuffed. They clinch, Tomko has a guillotine, Angle escapes and then Tomko takes Angle down but Angle gets the ankle lock. He grapevines the leg and time ends.

AJ is back in and Angle and Tomko shake as he leaves. AJ gets taken down, but he escapes. Angle sits down, AJ dives in and they work to the feet. AJ keeps playing keep away and time ends ad Angle gets a guillotine. Angle and AJ end up arguing.

Christian Cage, Kevin Nash and Rhino make their way out to the ring. Cage says this is a joke because Joe is training seriously, while Angle plays with his friends and manipulates them while embarrassing himself. Cage says they offer their services for a real training session. They walk to the ring and Angle bails! Christian Cage, Kevin Nash and Rhino brawl with AJ and Tomko, but here comes 3D! Devon about tripped over a wire and they begin to beat down team Cage. Ray calls for AJ and Tomko to get tables and they do! They set up the table, lay Cage out and…

LIGHTS OUT!

STING IS HERE! He clears the ring and has the mic. Sting says it is good to be back in Orlando. He has a message from Team Cage, he challenges Team Tomko to a match tonight and Tomko accepts!


-JB is with Robert Roode and the match that he and Booker T will have is…First Blood match. Roode says he knows Booker's plan. It will not work, because at Lockdown, he will get his skanky wife in the six sides of steel. Booker's worst nightmare will become a reality, and there is nothing Booker can do about it. They are on the same page tonight because Roode wants Booker's blood as well, and come Lockdown, he wants Sharmell's.

-James Farrior from the Pittsburgh Steelers is in attendance!

FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Robert Roode vs. Booker T

Booker on the attack right away. A stun gun and then a superkick by Booker connects. Tenay says the main event will be brought to us commercial free. That's a nice change. Booker with a spinebuster on Roode, boot, misses the ax kick, Roode escapes the bookend but gets tossed to the floor. We'll head to a commercial @ 1:40.

Back from commercial @ 5:50 as Roode gets a DDT to Booker on the apron. Roode maintains control and slams Booker to the apron again. Back into the ring and Roode has a chair. Rights by Roode, grabs the chair and sets it up. Rights to Booker, but Booker fires back. Roode counters with a drop toehold into the chair. More rights by Roode, and Tenay shills the hotline and says that there was a confrontation with wrestlers from different companies. SCHEME GENE LIVES. Booker ends up firing Roode into the corner where the chair was wedged. Rights by Roode, Booker fires back and they trade shots. Roode has the chair, a boot by Booker and he has the chair. Throws it, misses a kick and Roode LEVELS him with the chair! No blood yet, Roode gets the chair again and he misses, chair rebounds off the ropes, Roode hits himself and Booker then clotheslines Roode to the floor. Booker follows, Roode fights back and tries a piledriver, but Booker scoops the legs and catapults Roode to the ring post. Roode is bleeding and the match is over.

Winner: Booker T@ 10:25 via first blood

-It was a trickle of blood, so Booker beats on him some more to try and get the blood to flow.

-Crystal is with Riesha Saeed and Awesome Kong. SILENCE! Riesha reads a statement from Kong. Tonight is a special night, it does not matter who the fans vote for or choose. It means nothing. What does matter is who ever wins, it will be a vote for defeat and destruction. Kong will continue her path of destruction. Kong will show tonight why she is the champion, and it will be her pleasure to watch Kong work. Peace be upon you. Dirka, Drika, Dirka, Muhammad Jihad!


-JB is with ODB and Gail Kim. 500 votes separate them, and the winner is…ODB. Gail and her shake, and then tells ODB to get the job done.

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Awesome Kong © w/Riesha Saeed vs. ODB

Lock up and Kong tosses ODB aside. Forearms by ODB, she goes for a slam, fails as Kong falls on her and covers for 2. Chops by Kong in the corner, and then a hair mare by Kong. She chokes ODB over the middle rope, drags her center ring and then slams her down face first. Kong applies the camel clutch, thus humbling ODB. She releases her, ODB fights back, tries a whip but Kong holds on. Reversal and Kong with the corner splash. Back to the camel clutch for further humbling. ODB escapes, forearm shots to Kong. Off the ropes and they collide. Kong then levels ODB, and then misses a splash off of the ropes. ODB kips up and is fired up! Forearms to Kong, off the ropes and a clothesline by Kong is still up. A dropkick and Kong is against the ropes. ODB to the 2nd rope and gets the Thesz press and covers for a CLOSE 2! A boot by ODB, rights, off the ropes and a reversal, Kong misses the corner splash and ODB with a face plant on Kong! 1…2…NO! Kong fights back, BACKFIST connects! KONG BOMB and that is all.

Winner: Awesome Kong @ 5:00 via pin


-Back from commercial for the commercial free main event.

-Crystal is with Cage and his team. He said it looked bad for a while, but what a difference a few weeks makes. First he got Nash, and last week he mended fences with Rhino. And now this week, the ace in the whole, Sting. They say people do not change, that's only half true. He is trying to change, but the one thing that will not change is the fact that he is still the champ. The best, and that is what Team Cage is. If you don't know, now you know.

TEAM CAGE: Christian Cage, Rhino, Kevin Nash and Sting vs. TEAM TOMKO: AJ Styles, Tomko and Team 3D (Ray and Devon)

AJ and Cage will begin the match. Lock up, to the corner and Cage slaps AJ. Drop toehold, unprettier try, AJ counters and chops by Cage take AJ down. Elbow by AJ, misses the Asai DDT, 2nd rope cork screw elbow by Cage gets 2. Off the ropes, counters, and Cage tosses AJ off of a headlock try. Tomko in and chops by Cage. Tomko tosses him to the corner, Cage tags in Nash and the big men stand off. Lock up and Nash powers him to the corner, Tomko with rights, reversal and Nash slams him in, elbow by Tomko but Nash gets the side slam for 2. Rhino tags in and eats a knee by Tomko. Ray tags in, elbows to Rhino, chops follow and Devon in. They shoulder tackle Rhino and Devon covers for 2. Rights by Devon, Rhino back with chops and off the ropes he goes, tackle to Devon and a cover for 2 by Rhino. Rhino sent to the heel corner, he fights out, nails Devon but is pulled down and crotched on the post. To the floor Rhino goes, they beat him down a bit and roll him back in. Elbows by Devon, off the ropes and drops down with a head butt and a cover for 2. Devon slams Rhino, tags in Ray and he goes to the 2nd rope and gets a splash for 2! Neck vice by Ray, Tomko tags in now and he works the neck pinch. Rhino fights back, rights to Tomko but then eats an elbow off the ropes. Ray tags back in, he works a body scissors on Rhino. Ray with rights to Rhino from the body scissors, Rhino fights but Ray pulls him back and tags in AJ. AJ with rights and boots to Rhino. Off the ropes and a dropkick by AJ connects. Tag to Ray, chops on Rhino, to the corner they go and Ray beats him down and tags in Devon. Devon misses a corner splash and a clothesline by Rhino to Ray! Rhino needs a tag…gets it to Sting! He cleans house on Team Tomko! Stinger splash on Devon! Ray them nails Devon by accident. Splash to Tomko and then to both members of 3D! Atomic drop to AJ, Scorpion death lock applied! Ray stops that, everyone is in now. Cage pulls Tomko to the floor as Ray and Devon beat down Sting and Nash. Tomko back in, grabs Sting, but Sting gets the death drop! Ray breaks up the pin and they get the reverse 3D on Sting. Nash levels Devon, chokeslam to Ray! Tomko takes Nash down with a lariat, sets Cage up top but Cage gets a swank Tornado DDT! AJ with the Superman forearm on Cage! Sting grabs AJ, press slam and tosses AJ to the floor onto Tomko! GORE on Ray! Scorpion death lock on Devon! Cage and Nash protect Sting and Devon taps!

Winners: TEAM CAGE @ 10:02 via submission

-Team Cage celebrates in the ring, but James Storm runs in and NAILS Sting with the beer bottle! Team Tomko is back in and they beat down Team Cage. Sting is down and James Storm celebrates with Team Tomko to end the show. Sorry about your damn luck Stinger.

Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 4R's!