411's AWA on ESPN Classic Report 03.27.08

Posted by Randy Harrison on 03.28.2008

I feel cursed when I have to sit through programs like this.....


411's AWA On ESPN Classic Report



AWA Championship Wrestling (Originally aired on March, 4 1986)

Ken Resnick and Greg Gagne are the announcers for the festivities and they're ready to serve us some cake and punch so let's boogie.


Match One:
"Sean" Michaels vs. Buddhakahn

Michaels is billed as the Central States Wrestling rookie of the year and gets an incredibly lukewarm reaction. Buddha talks a little shit before the match starts and they hit the lockup with Kahn ending up armdragged over to the mat. Michaels hits a go-behind and rides Buddha down on the mat as a small "Buddha" chant starts. Michaels with a HARDWAY german suplex, nearly dropping Buddha on his head and they separate to the middle of the ring. Buddha grabs a side headlock and punches Michaels in the face and that fires up "Sean" who comes back with a couple shots of his own. Buddha grabs a headlock and rakes Michaels eyes against the ropes before they lockup again and Buddha gets a roll-up for a series of one-counts. Buddha heels it up, grabbing the trunks to try to keep Michaels down, but it gets reversed into a headscissors that takes Buddha over. Buddha grabs a top wristlock then takes Michaels over to the mat, turning it into a hammerlock, but Michaels hits a drop toehold to reverse it. Buddha grabs the ropes for the break and this match is losing me quickly. Michaels with a standing armbar and some punches to the arm before he takes Buddha over and drops the leg on it. Knees to the elbow now in rapid succession and Buddha turns that standing armbar into a rolling cradle for two, drawing another Buddha chant. Buddha whips Michaels into the ropes and he leapfrogs over Buddha, hitting a dropkick that sends him halfway out through the ropes to the apron. They get back to the action with Michaels laying in some forearm shots before he goes up to the second rope for a ten-count punch spot, doing a backflip off the top rope after the last punch. He backdrops Buddha and SWEET CHIN MUSIC puts Mr.Kahn down long enough for Michaels to perch on the top rope and hit a flying splash for the three.

Winner: "Sean" Michaels (pinfall, top rope splash)

Match Analysis: This was horrible. It looked like Buddha was sandbagging the ENTIRE match, despite apparently being the babyface with the "Buddha" chants that kept breaking out. You could still see the potential in Michaels, but it was severely stifled here by Buddha and his poor in-ring skills. Boo-urns.


Match Two:
Doug Somers vs. Scott Hall w/Curt Hennig

These two big bulls lock horns in the middle of the ring, with Hall pushing Somers back into the corner before giving up a clean break. Somers grabs a top wristlock and Hall just powers his way out of it, throwing Somers to the mat, leaving him to complain about a hairpull that didn't happen. Hall gets a DEEP armdrag and again Somers complains about the hair before they he gets his own takedown with an STO-type move, turning it into an armbar. Hall gets back to his feet and lifts Somers off the mat, carrying him to the corner and sitting him on the top turnbuckle. Hall gets a side headlock and Somers shoots him into the ropes, eating a couple of forearm smashes and a BIG bodyslam before he rolls out of the way of an elbow, sending Hall crashing to the mat. Somers fires back with punches and gets Hall to the mat with a takeover, dropping knees to the chest and face of Hall. Somers and Hall exchange chops in the corner and Somers gets reversed on an Irish whip, leading to a HIGH back bodydrop out of the corner that gets Hall a two-count and puts Somers to the floor afterwards. Somers offers the hand of friendship after coming back into the ring, but Hall is a poor sport and will have none of it. Somers heads out to jaw at Hennig a little and gets ambushed and hiptossed back into the ring, with Hall hitting a big bodyslam and an elbowdrop for a two-count. Somers goes to the stomach with a couple of HARD punches that put Hall down to a knee and Somers hits a belly to back suplex for a one count. Somers immediately slaps on the chinlock and pushes Hall's head to the mat to stomp it. Somers goes to the eyes and takes Hall over to the turnbuckles to ram his head in, with Hall trying to fire back but he can't do it as Somers goes to the eyes again. Snap mare from Somers and he continues to go to the eyes and the face of Hall to gain the advantage. BIG boot to the stomach from Hall and he hits Somers with a big forearm, backing him into the corner before hiptossing him out and Irish whipping him in for a reverse elbow. Hall hits a HUGE bodyslam on Somers but misses the legdrop off the ropes. They trade Irish whips but Hall reverses one into a powerslam and he covers Somers to get the win.

Winner: Scott Hall (pinfall, powerslam)

Match Analysis: Not a bad match for the time it was given, but still not good. It seemed like the beginning of a really good twenty minute match and then all of a sudden we got a pin. Not at all what I had been hoping for, and kind of disappointing actually. Somers and Hall were both good workers at this point in time, it just kind of didn't click for whatever reason.

Hall and Hennig are with Larry Nelson and Hall says that he was in with a veteran and capable wrestler in Somers and he's glad to have the win. Hennig talks about how Stan Hansen injured him and he calls Hansen a wrestler that gets things done any dirty way that he can. He says that winning the belts put them on a pedestal and he says that himself and Hall both want a piece of Hansen, especially after he nearly got taken out. Hennig says that Hansen is human and makes mistakes and Hennig and Hall shake to end the interview.


After the commercial it's time for In This Corner, with Larry Zbyszko and Larry Nelson, and they're talking about Marty Jannetty before throwing it to a highlight package, mainly featuring Jannetty working against Tom Stone. Jannetty looks great in the footage, but the music is absolutely HORRIBLE and really makes me want to fast forward through the whole thing. We see lots of Jannetty's flying style and aerial moves before we're back in the studio talking to Marty. Larry Nelson asks about the high-flying moves and Jannetty says that he and his partner "Sean" Michaels have been working on some moves and that they're going to form a tag team called The US Express. Um, Marty? I think Barry Windham and Mike Rotunda might have something to say about that. Jannetty talks about how big the guys are in the AWA and how they're going to have to use speed and moves to get around that. Zbyszko cuts him off, saying that he can't understand Jannetty's mumbles and that in his TWELVE GLORIOUS YEARS in the business he's found out that moves aren't everything. He bags on Jannetty's clothes and then says that he probably can't wait for all the young girls and that he'll grow out of all of that someday. He brings up the size thing from before and says that he's not big but he has self-respect and DISCIPLINE, which means that when all the pretty moves won't work you have to have a mean streak. He cuts Marty off and tells him to stop mumbling again. Greatness, pure greatness. Marty defends himself by saying that it's the mid-80's and people will dress the way they want to dress and then questions Zbyszko's manhood because he's wearing a pink shirt. OOOOOOOOH that was a.....

SICK BURN!!
Larry Nelson giggles like a twelve year old girl at that one and Jannetty continues on, saying that he's got a vicious streak and that if Zbyszko's not careful, he'll find out firsthand. Again, Zbyszko says he can't understand Marblemouth Marty and Larry Nelson cuts off the segment with Zbyszko STILL jabbering away and telling Jannetty what it's all about. I loves me some Zbyszko!!


The next segment was covered on a previous AWA report, so let's do a little cutting and pasting, shall we?


Match Three:
Jerry Blackwell vs. King Kong Brody

Larry Nelson introduces this one as being a TV time limit which could be a REAL tip-off to the ending of the ma-HUSS HUSS HUSS HUSS-tch. God, I love Brody. Nelson introduces Blackwell and Brody attacks him with a boot to the gut, sending Larry scurrying like a rat. Blackwell and Brody slug away and Sheik Adnan El-Kaissie is in there too pounding away, and the Sheik holds on to Blackwell for Brody to hit him with a BIG boot to the face. Blackwell goes down and El-Kaissie holds Blackwell down to let Brody head outside to grab a chair. CHAIRSHOT to the back and the referee looks like he's trying to get some order together. Gagne says he's nervous everytime Brody is out there because of the injury he caused to Gagne, and Sheik is holding Blackwell's leg against the mat. Brody doesn't care and just keeps chairing Blackwell in his gigantic gut. Brody's lucky he doesn't lose that chair in all of that. Sheik heads out to the apron and starts stomping away at Blackwell some more, as the crowd starts to cheer, and here comes BUCK ZUMHOFFE!!! He's got Leon White with him and referee Scott LeDoux. Gagne calls Brody a menace to society and Brody wanders ringside aimlessly, looking batshit crazy.

Winner: No Contest

Match Analysis: A decent beatdown, but they missed the boat by not showing the best part which was Greg Gagne taking off his cowboy boot and FUCKING UP Brody with it. I was really looking forward to seeing that again, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.



Match Four:
Jerry Blackwell vs. Boris Zhukov w/Sheik Adnan El-Kaissie

Blackwell runs Sheik and Zhukov out of the ring, even before the introductions can be made. Scott LeDoux is the special guest referee for this one and Zhukov is stalling on the apron before heading out to complain at the front row and their chanting. Zhukov finally gets into the ring and Blackwell heads over to give him and Sheik the old double noggin-knocker before Irish whipping Zhukov into the corner and following him in with a HUGE splash. Backwell hits another shot and Zhukov is out to the floor to confer with the Sheik again. They lockup and Blackwell gets a side headlock with Zhukov shooting him into the ropes. Blackwell hits a BIG shoulderblock that sends Zhukov flying and Blackwell follows with a dropkick to the "chest" before choking Zhukov over the top rope. Blackwell pushes Zhukov into the corner and hits some forearm shots until Zhukov goes to the eyes and takes over. He hammers away on Blackwell in the corner and tries a pair of headbutts but Blackwell no-sells and comes back with right hands, grabbing Zhukov by the beard, making him do the pee-pee dance before just yanking out some of the hairs on Zhukov's chinny-chin-chin. Blackwell hits three HARD right hands that put Zhukov all the way out to the floor and he does a little meet and greet with Sheik before heading back to the ring. They lockup again and Zhukov takes over with punches, working Blackwell over in the corner with chops, knees and other things before biting him. Zhukov whips Blackwell across for the Bret Bump and grinds a forearm into his face before choking him on the second rope. Zhukov distracts the referee and Sheik gets a couple of good punches in before Boris goes back to the choke. Zhukov stomps away at Blackwell in the corner and mocks the crowd before choking him with the sole of his big, Russian boot. Zhukov rakes at the face and snapmares Blackwell over before hitting a chinlock and dropping a couple of hard elbows that lead to a long, LONG two-count. Zhukov with a running kick to the chin an Blackwell's FATTING UP!! He's bleeding from the nose and no-selling everything, firing back with right hands before hitting a HUGE suplex on Zhukov. He covers and gets a two-count before just dropping a right hand to the face. A big chop levels Zhukov and puts him down again as Blackwell measures him for a clothesline, forcing Zhukov to beg off. Blackwell grabs the beard again before Zhukov takes over with headbutts and forearms. Blackwell won't go down, even with a Zhukov dropkick and he's FATTING UP AGAIN!!!!! Blackwell takes all of Zhukov's chops and punishment before firing back with elbows of his own. He Irish whips Zhukov into the corner and tries for a follow-up splash, but Sheik Adnan pushes Zhukov out of the way. Zhukov goes up to the top to try for a splash but Blackwell gets out of the way, hitting his own splash and getting the pinfall on Zhukov. Blackwell has the Sheik cornered for a moment, but he hightails it out of there and back next to Zhukov, safe and sound.

Winner: Jerry Blackwell (pinfall, BIG splash)

Match Analysis: Again, not a bad match, but the Zhukov streak of decent main events ends at two. Blackwell did what he could and Zhukov bumped around really well for him, but as usual it was limited by Blackwell's size and Zhukov's somewhat limited moveset.

Blackwell's with Larry Nelson and he says that he loves to come to Las Vegas to see all the pretty lights and he LOVES to hear all of his fans cheering for him. He says that he stands for the flag and that he'll never let some Arab or some Russian come in and whup on him. Blackwell talks about what happened with Brody and says that he and Gagne kicked the shit out of Brody and Blackwell says that he's like an old dog that's going to be nipping at the heels of the Sheik and his army forever, leading us to the end of the show!!



Final Thoughts

Just bleah. All the way around it was really just a boring show. The only thing that saved it from complete dudsville was the Zbyszko segment. I don't really have much to say besides thumbs down because this show was honestly one of the hardest I've had to do since this run began. Nothing redeeming at all and they cut out the best part of the Blackwell/Brody segment when Greg Gagne came in and beat the piss out Brody with his boot. Thums way, WAY down for this one. I need this hour of my life back. Ah well, on to the comments!!



Fun With Comments

A slow night for comments for this episode, which is probably a reflection on the poor quality of the episodes, I hope, rather than the quality of my reports dipping.....I hope.

Firstly and finally, from Arnold_OldSchool:
"Verne was a skin flint and it cost him when he screwed Hogan on some T-shirt
sales, as well as the Japan payoffs Verne wanted a piece of. Hogan would've
got the title had Verne not demanded a % due to Hulk's stock improving by being
AWA Champ in Japan vs just Hulk Hogan (Which in Japan already meant ALOT in the
early 80's)"

Yeah, that was definitely a problem. Verne was cheap and as soon as someone got too big for their britches he'd send them on their way. If he had held onto all of his talent, I think he'd have made a REALLY good run of it, but again as I said before, he was just too deep in to see the forest for the trees.


That's it for tonight, come back tomorrow for more AWA and I pray that I never have to see a show like this one again.