411’s AWA on ESPN Classic Report 04.02.08

411’s AWA On ESPN Classic Report

Rolling on with more AWA action, and this one looks like it might be a decent show, so let’s just dive right into it without any delay!!

AWA Championship Wrestling (Originally aired on…)

Larry Nelson and Greg Gagne are your commentators for all of the action and they’re at ringside, ready for the first bout.

Match One:
Col. DeBeers vs. Rev. Willie Pappas

Methinks that Pappas had better start calling in some favors with the man upstairs sooner rather than later. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS HIM!!! Or maybe not as DeBeers gets a big hip toss to start and moves to an arm-wringer, taking Pappas over then grating the sole of his boot on Pappas’ head. I’m noticing that for a man of the cloth, Pappas has an ASSLOAD of tattoos. I wonder if he’s born-again. Pappas tries a reversal and gets a punch in the face and some knees to the gut before DeBeers drops an elbow on the top of the head and hits a BIG slam. Running kick to the face off of the ropes and DeBeers stomps away before grabbing Pappas in a headlock and running him headfirst into the turnbuckles. Another knee to the gut and he grabs Pappas in a front-facelock, pushing him into the corner to work him over with more knees. A stiff punch to the face and another and Pappas goes down like a bland, bland communion wafer. DeBeers picks him up for a suplex and turns it into a one-armed bodyslam. DeBeers gets a butterfly suplex but Pappas takes it like a sack of shit, apparently blown up from getting beaten on. Now THAT is some cardio. DeBeers covers for two and picks him up, dropping a big elbow and covering for two again, picking him up. He lifts Pappas to his feet and works him over with more elbows and knees. Gagne takes time to thank everyone who came to WrestleRock at the Metrodome in Minneapolis and gives a shout-out to Winnipeg!! GO WINNIPEG!!! DeBeers pounds on Pappas in the corner and PILEDRIVES HIM!!! TAKE THAT JESUS!!! Another two count and DeBeers lifts him up again to break the count. DeBeers hits more kicky-punchy moves and does more pinning and picking up before he hits THREE……THREE PANCAKE PILEDRIVERS!!!! HE FINALLY pins Pappas for the 1-2-3!!! Gagne figures that someone’s going to have to help Pappas out of the ring and I agree. SOMEONE GET HIM SOME HOLY WATER!!!

Winner: Col. DeBeers (pinfall, triple pancake piledriver)

Match Analysis: How much must it suck to be a servant of the Lord, and STILL be forced by him to take that kind of beating. I mean if anyone knows how to take a beating it’d be Him, if that Passion movie is correct, but still. That was just an unmitigated squash and I’d have to wonder just why DeBeers was so stiff on the guy and didn’t let him get in a single offensive move. A weird match, bordering on almost uncomfortable to watch, hence all the jokes to lighten the mood a bit. Poor Pappas. Poor, little Pappas.

Match Two:
Buddy Rose and Doug Somers vs. Jesse Hernandez and Leon White

No Sherri Martel which makes Rose and Somers entering to the opening of Madonna’s Material Girl, a LOT more uncomfortable than it was when she was with them. Creepy. Of course, Gagne totally kills Rose’s gimmick by explaining the ENTIRE THING. Geez Greg, it’s called subtlety, look it up. White is ready to start for the face team and Rose is looking a little nervous about getting in the ring with him, conferring with Somers before White tags in Hernandez. Rose then SPITS on White on the apron, then tells him to kiss his ass. Dude, that’s SO not a good idea. Rose gets a side headlock on Hernandez, into a hammerlock but Hernandez takes him over with a reversal, almost sending Rose right into White. Rose with an arm-wringer and he chops Hernandez down to the mat, but Hernandez is able to reverse it and get to his corner to make the tag, sending Rose and Somers scurrying to the outside for saftey. Buddy Rose is over at the announce table and Larry Nelson is helpfully yelling “He wants to wrestle you” while pointing at the ring. Man, Larry Nelson grew some balls all of a sudden in 1986. Either that or he was so soused that he didn’t give a shit anymore. Either way it’s entertaining to see him go from baby back bitch to He-Man in the course of three episodes.

Rose runs off the ropes and gets tackled and Somers does the same and gets the same result. They try to double-team White and he tackles them BOTH down and they roll to the outside to get hassled by some squares in the front row. Rose is back in the ring and he gets a top wristlock but White just powers him away, and Somers and Rose both try the top wristlock and they both go flying. Rose in the corner begging off and White whips him across to follow with DA VADAH SPLASH!! A HUGE jumping headbutt from White sends Rose back into the ropes, his arms tying up between the top and middle strands. White with a big slap to the chest and Rose goes through the ropes and bangs the back of his head on the arena floor. No mats on the outside in the AWA either, cause they’re not bitches. Rose rolls slowly back into the ring and tags in Somers, with White talking a little smack to him on the way in. They lockup and Somers puts White into the corner, distracting the ref before they both work him over, going to the eyes and trying a double-Irish whip into the ropes. Somers heads out and White ends up going stomach to stomach with Rose, sending him flying backwards and causing so much of a ripple effect from the blubber that I have to stand up and hold my TV to keep it from shaking off of the stand and onto the floor.

Somers is PISSED on the apron and Rose tries to slam White on the inside. I’ll let you guess how well that goes. White gets the slam of his own and gets a two-count before Somers lays a boot in on his head. White tags in Hernandez and suddenly I sense things going downhill for the face team. Hernandez gets a side headlock on Somers but takes some shoulderblocks to the gut when Somers sends him against the ropes. He rams Hernandez into Rose’s knee and makes the tag, allowing them both to double-team Hernandez in their corner with punches and eye-rakes. Rose taunts White and gets him to chase him around the ring while Somers gets a BIG vertical suplex in the ring for the three-count. After the match, they work over Hernandez a little and Rose tries to hold White for a Somers clothesline but he ducks and Somers takes out Rose. White sends them both to the floor, but Rose and Somers still come away victorious.

Winners: Buddy Rose and Doug Somers (pinfall, Somers suplex)

Match Analysis: An interesting tag match where there was no real formula and it seemed like the only reason the heel team won was because they ended up isolating the weaker man in Hernandez. This felt like as much of a showcase for White as it was for Rose and Somers, and he looked like a million bucks, handling both of them with ease before finally relenting to his partner and ending up getting outsmarted in the end by the veterans. A different match but still something pretty cool to see, with all four men knowing their roles and playing them well.

Rose and Somers are with Larry Nelson, soaking in their well-deserved boos, when Rose stops things to say that he came to wrestle and not play football, and he felt like he was Joe Thiesman (Google it if you need to, you won’t be disappointed. Greatest football injury EVER!), yelling at White and saying that he should stick with football. Rose starts calling out all the face teams like Windham and Rotunda, The Midnight Rockers and Hall and Hennig, while Somers goes a bit ballistic, raspily screaming that they’re the best team in the AWA and the uncrowned World Champions. Larry Nelson asks where Sherri Martel is and Rose says that she’s at Caesar’s Palace signing a big contract for Rose and Somers to make them a ton of money. Nelson cuts them off and sends up to a commercial break.

After the break, we’re in the AWA studios with Larry Nelson unveiling a new segment on the show, called the “Feature Match” and this week it’s coming to us from St. Cloud, MN.

Match Three:
Doug Somers vs. Shawn Michaels

Somers has Rose and Martel in his corner, while Michaels has Marty Jannetty in his. It sounds like Larry Nelson and Verne Gagne are on commentary for this one and Somers stops to confer with his teammates for a moment. Michaels grabs a side headlock and they do a criss-cross spot before Michaels gets a bodyslam off of it, sending Somers flying with a couple of armdrags before he grabs the armbar. Somers gets to his feet and pushes Michaels back into the corner, chopping him before trying an Irish whip to the opposite corner. Michaels reverses it and Somers goes ASS OVER TEAKETTLE to the floor, over the turnbuckles. Jannetty helps Somers back to the apron and Michaels finishes the job, hip tossing him back into the ring and re-applying the armbar. Right hands to the arm from Michaels and Somers is on Pain St. Somers whips him and Michaels gets a good leapfrog but ends up EATING an elbow from Somers. Somers rams Michaels into the turnbuckle and takes over with some slaps to the chest and some punches.

Michaels fires back with some elbows of his own, hitting a hip toss and a BIG headscissors, but he botches the second one and Somers covers it well, turning it into an inverted atomic drop. That was a REALLY good cover by a veteran like Somers and if you didn’t know to look for it, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell at all. Somers lays some stomps in and lifts Michaels up into a headlock with a short right hand. He picks up Michaels and gets a belly to back suplex for a two-count, moving from that into a reverse chinlock. Martel distracts the referee on the outside and Somers takes advantage, choking the PISS out of Michaels. Somers with a BIG bodyslam and he drops the knee for another two-count, with Michaels and Somers trading punches in the middle of the ring. Michaels gets the better of it and lands a dropkick that puts Somers down on his ass. Irish whip from Michaels and a BIG back bodydrop into a running fistdrop gets him a two-count on Somers.

Somers rolls to the outside and tries to get some help from Rose and Martel in his corner. He rolls back into the ring and asks for a time-out. Silly Pretty Boy, there’s not time-outs in wrestling!!! He goads Michaels into the corner and boots him a good one in the stomach before laying in some forearm shots. Somers tries an Irish whip but Michaels reverses it, climbing to the top rope and landing a right hand before doing a backflip and hitting a back bodydrop as Somers comes out of the corner. SWEET CHIN MUSIC from Michaels but it only gets a two-count and Michaels hits a cross-body off the ropes and tries for another pin. In comes Rose to break it up and now HERE COMES JANNETTY!! I DON’T THINK SO FATBOY!! Rose and Somers try the double Irish whip to send the Rockers into each other but they do a little dosie-do and hit stereo dropkicks on the heels. Double back-bodydrops follow and a pair of dropkicks send Rose and Somers to the floor.

Winner: Shawn Michaels (disqualification, Rose interference)

Match Analysis: A really good match before the schmozz ending and you can already see the chemistry between these two, which would end up leading to the great matches between all four men over the AWA Tag Team Titles. Michaels and Jannetty could do no wrong in 1986 and they had great foils in Rose and Somers to play off of, which made it always entertaining whenever any combination of them were in the ring.

Ken Resnick is with The Midnight Rockers and he congratulates Michaels on the win and he says that Buddy Rose keeps sticking his nose into Rockers business, him and that hussy he rolls with. Kind of ironic considering how things would turn out later in Michaels career, so that makes me chuckle. Michaels says that they don’t have to go looking in a phone book to find The Rockers and that Rose and Somers need to sign a contract to face The Rockers. Michaels takes a minute to hype up WrestleRock and he says that Rose and Somers are going to make history because they’ll get beaten quicker than any team in history. Jannetty says that he’d never slap a woman, but he doesn’t consider Sherri a woman and he’d happily paintbrush the whore out of her. He throws his challenge out to Rose and Somers and then wonders if Rose means 217 kilograms instead of 217 pounds before helpfully explaining that kilograms are a lot more. Marty Jannetty, math wizard!! Jannetty starts offering up some diet plans for Rose while Michaels sticks his stomach and cheeks out to make fun of him. How do they know it isn’t GLANDULAR?? You can see the director counting Resnick down and the interview is over with The Rockers making generic babyface gestures.

We’re back from the break with Sheik Adnan El-Kaissie in the ring with his charge, The Barbarian. Sheik says that Slaughter shot off his mouth and now he’s going to have to pay and face Barbarian. Barbarian starts taking back bumps and HUSSSSSSSES in the middle of the ring while Sheik carries on with his jabbering. Sheik says that he has the control over Barbarian because he pays him the good money. Barbarian says that he and his partner King Kong Brody get a lot of money from Sheik and they love it because it’s the only way they can live. He says that Sheik has instructed him to beat up Sgt. Slaughter real bad and he’s gonna do it. CUE THE GAYEST MUSIC OF ALL-TIME!!! Here comes THE SARGE!!

Match Four: America’s Championship
The Barbarian w/Sheik Adnan El-Kaissie vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter takes the time to hand out American flags and handshakes to everyone at ringside, stopping to kiss some lady’s flag. No, that’s not a euphemism, she had a real flag. The pop when Sarge gets introduced is IMPRESSIVE. A HUGE chant of USA comes up from the crowd and they are HOT for this one. They circle around before locking up and Barbarian takes over with forearm strikes to the back and chest in the corner. Slaughter fights back with right hands of his own, loading up and swinging his arm before hitting the BIG RIGHT HAND CANNON!! Barbarian bails out to the floor to get more instructions from the Sheik before heading back to the ring. Slaughter gets a kick to the gut and takes over with more right hands before landing a dropkick that puts the big man down. They lockup again and Barbarian clubs away again with more forerams in the corner.

Slaughter reverses and tries to Irish whip Barbarian into the corner but that gets reversed and Slaughter takes a BIG chest bump to the top buckle. Barbarian stomps away and drops some punches down as well, lifting Slaughter up for a BIG backbreaker, getting a two-count off of it. Irish whip into the ropes and a HUGE boot from Barbarian puts Slaughter down again for another LONG two-count. More kicks and stomps from Barbarian and Slaughter tries to fire back with some shots to the stomach but there’s nothing there and Barbarian hits a big bodyslam. Gagne breaks kayfabe again on commentary, calling referee Robert Warren, Warren Bockwinkel by mistake, as Barbarian gets another long two-count on Slaughter. An Irish whip and a HUGE back bodydrop from Barbarian gets him another two-count and he stomps at Slaughter’s head. An Irish whip into the ropes gets reversed by Slaughter and he hits a big right hand to the face of Barbarian, sending him back against the ropes and not quite over as Barbarian can’t get up to sell the spot.

They sort of repeat it on the other side of the ring with Sarge hitting a clothesline that finally puts Barbarian over the top and to the floor. Barbarian gets on the apron and tries to swing wildly, but Slaughter ducks and HE’S GOT THE COBRA CLUTCH ON!! He tries to pull Barbarian into the ring to finish the hold, but HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONE!! HERE COMES BRODY!! KNUCK SHOT TO THE BACK OF SLAUGHTER’S HEAD!!! ANOTHER ONE!!! Slaughter tries to fight back and does so, whipping Brody in an hitting a big clothesline. COBRA CLUTCH ON BRODY!!!! COBRA CLUTCH ON BRODY!!!!! Barbarian grabs Brody by the boot and tries to drag him out of the ring and Sheik kicks at Slaughter to break the hold. The heels head to the back to regroup, leaving Slaughter in the ring and standing tall.

Winner: Sgt. Slaughter (disqualification, Brody interference)

Match Analysis: A pretty good back and forth between the two big men, and the Brody-ference at the end, along with the MOLTEN hot crowd makes it a decent main event. It was cool to see Brody and Barbarian side by side and trying to smack around Slaughter before getting theirs. I always liked Slaughter’s matches back then and even during his WWF run and this is no different. A bit of an underrated talent but Slaughter definitely brought it in this match. No complaints from me here.

Larry Nelson is in with Slaughter and he says that he’s never seen anyone go power on power with Barbarian, but Slaughter did it with Barbarian AND Brody. Slaughter apologizes to everyone at ESPN and everyone at the Showboat in Las Vegas, not because he didn’t shave or because he’s losing some hair. He apologizes because someone has STOLEN HIS FLAGS!!! I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!!!! Wait, that’s the wrong year. Apparently, someone HAS indeed stolen his flags and he figures with all the terrorism in Libya and Iran that the Sheik must have something to do with it. He declares war on the Sheik and he says that he feels like he had Barbarian beaten before Brody came in for the rescue. He says that he embarassed both of them and left them both laying, sending the Sheik running with his tail between his legs. He says he wants a match with either Brody, Barbarian or the Sheik himself. He says that he’s here to stay and the US is #1, which takes us out for another edition of the AWA!

Final Thoughts

A pretty good show actually, the squash at the beginning was kind of rough to watch but the rest of it was actually really good, and I admit that I got sucked in by the main event. Thumbs up for me on this one, mainly due to the main event and the heavy focus on Rose and Somers and the Rockers, which ALWAYS makes for good television in my eyes. Now it’s on to the COMMENTS!!!

Fun With Comments

Two shows worth of comments to get to, so let’s start out with the ones from the episode on March 28th, starting with two comments on the Chicago-area announcer from the main event.

From Frozen:
“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Brickhouse

Jack Brickhouse was a sports broadcasting legend.”

And also from Teijo Kahn:
“Brickhouse also did a segment on WCW Pro Chicago on WGN, which I believe was
hosted by Jim Ross around 1990 and was mostly the same as the syndicated show.”

Thanks for the info and I apologize for sounding glib when he was introduced. It’s just that, as I said in the report, he was small-time compared to guys like Mr. T and Muhammad Ali and it just showed how far down the totem pole the AWA was, which was a little sad. Thanks again for letting me know who it was since I genuinely had no idea. I owe you both a beer sometime.

From ArnoldOld_School:
“From Jay:
“Does anyone know the story about the AWA title being stolen during a
match by a
fan? I cannot find it anywhere but remember a fan ran down during a match,
grabbed it from the table and ran out of the arena.”

I can’t say that I’ve heard of that story, but if anyone who’s reading has, or
anyone has any ideas on this or can remember what happened, I’d love to hear
it.”
———
Jim Cornette or some one mentioned this on their shoot. Greg Gagne and other
actually went outside and stopped cars to search them”

I must possess this someday and hear this story. It sounds too funny and if you or anyone else has any more information on it, I’d love to hear it. Thanks for passing along what you know Arnold, it’s already way more than I knew about the situation.

And now moving on to the comments from yesterday’s Report, starting out with one from Frozen:
“I’m glad to know that it was Stanely Blackburn who convinced Roger Kent to use
cumin in his cooking. With commentary like that, it’s hard to see why the AWA
ultimately crashed and burned.”

Roger Kent was….different when it came to wrestling commentary, even before his sabbatical. Listen to his work on the Billy Graham or Dusty Rhodes DVDs and you’ll hear just what I mean. He was a little past his prime and the business had kind of moved past him when 1986 rolled around, but Verne held true to his guys that he trusted and had their backs til the end.

From Mark:
“BUCK ZUMHOFFE~! I’m glad he’s still touring the Midwest with his Rock ‘n’
Wrestling troupe. My buddies just got an autographed pic of him after a show
at our local Eagles Club.”

You must obtain me one of these Buck Zumhoffe pictures the next time you’re going to see him at one of those local shows. Have it made out to Randy and drop me an e-mail through the address at the bottom and I will be forever indebted to you, good sir!!

From G-Walla:
“I read that Slaughter had his own LP… was that song off of it?

Good to see Brody back!

…and hailing from Alaska, the Alaskans! Greatest tag-team name. Ever.

Stan Hansen doesn’t dissapoint. Neither did Hennig’s selling the neck. And
does Hall ever wrestle Hansen? I’d be intrigued to see it.”

I would hope to God not because if it was, I don’t think that LP would have sold a single copy. Worst. Song. EVAR!!! As far as Hansen/Hall matches, I’m not sure if they had any on TV, but I’d assume there might have been some on the house show circuit in that period. I agree that it’s always a treat to see King Kong Brody in action.

From Silo Sam:
“pretty decent show. cool to see brody and hansen again…not much else for you
today”

Agreed and agreed. Kind of a dull show, thanks for the comment though!

From Nikolai:
“Buck Zumhoffe is the man. I think i was just as high as buck was in the 80’s.”

You Russian hippies and your stickiest of ickies. What am I going to do with you? And you’d ahve to be REALLLLLLY fucking high to even come close to Buck it looked like.

From Guest#6597:
“i like the alaskans”

I wish it would have been the Rick Renslow/Jay York version because that would have probably made the match at least a little bit better. But the gimmick was kinda cool for the time and they certainly looked the part.

From JLAJRC:
“From now on, if possible, can we have the Sgt. Slaughter theme music play while
reading these reviews? That was the most terrible, yet awesome theme music
I’ve ever heard.”

If I had to hear that song every day while I was copying and pasting the comments for the next day’s report I’d jam a knitting needle in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t even funny bad in the Mystery Science Theater way. It was just godawful on every level. Hideous theme music.

From The Kid:
“If you recall, a couple of weeks ago they referred to Zybysko as former
America’s Champion. Maybe, it was a fabricated, fan-voted honor. By the way,
you’re in rare form today, “Nelson gets all indignant and yells the same
thing. YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT CURT HENNIG NEVER GIVES UP!!!
MOTHERFUCKERS!!!”
Oh, thanks for the “sick burn” midget clip you put up last week —
priceless. Me and a bunch of my friends, wrestling fans and non-wrestling fans,
laughed our asses off.”

I do recall that about Zbyszko and I’m beginning to think that maybe it was one of those fictional titles, like when people used to be the “King” of the WWF. Thank you for the compliment and it was just funny to see Larry Nelson get all upset and start yelling about how Curt didn’t give up. Strange to see so much emotion from someone who is supposed to be impartial. As for the midget deal, the credit for that one has to go to fellow 411mania Wrestling Zone writer, Chris Landsell, who graciously lent me the use of it for the column. Expect to see it regularly whenever someone drops a great insult during an interview because that clip makes me giggle my nuts off every single time I see it.

From GregGagneSucks:
“Roger Kent was priceless.Some of his better quotes–“He hit him so hard he
knocked him into the middle of next week”–“He’s on rubber leg
street” “OOOH His legs are like a couple of wet noodles” Funny
stuff! Yeah that Slaughter theme was worser than the old American Males(see
Wrestlecrap)and Dusty’s “Common Man” put together! LOL “Let’s
go down to Roger Kent & Greg Gagne”–Larry Nelson-What a douchebag!
Keep up the good work! GGS”

Thanks for the support and yeah, that theme has to be high on the list, if not topping the list, of worst theme songs ever, like I said before. Also like I said before, Roger Kent was an interesting announcer and I notice that in 1986 they moved almost exclusively to the team of Ron Trongard and Lord James Blears for their Championship Wrestling program on ESPN, while I believe they shifted Kent over to the All-Star Wrestling syndicated show. Larry Nelson did seem a little weird, but it’s always fun to watch him in these shows, so I’ll let the weirdness slide.

And again from GregGagneSucks:
“I had to add this!–Have you read the Ebay ad for Vintage AWA Jobber/Heel. It
was apparently written by a gay guy(probably the same guy that wrote Sgt’s
theme song) The way he describes the wrestlers
i.e.”Beefy”,”Packed trunks”,”Dreamy” is so
frickin’ hilarious. Be careful if you order these,they might be stuck
together!!”

Ew. That’s all. Just ew.

Finally, from Steve:
“Note that when Brody went into the crowd, on both occassions, not a single
person went near him. To me, he was one of the few wrestlers the fans were
genuinely afraid of and dared not to get close to. The Wild Samoans also come
to mind as well as Abdullah the Butcher.”

I agree. No one struck fear into fans’ hearts like Brody or The Butcher. I have a match from that old Wrestling Gold set with Brody and Abdullah, I believe fighting at the Hemisphere Arena in San Antonio and they get into the crowd to brawl and the people just SCATTER. It’s a real shame that Brody never got half of the recognition he deserved because he was charismatic, athletic, and a really decent worker in the ring that was crazy enough to let anything go when it came to his matches.

That brings us to the end of another AWA report and a bit of a marathon day for me in terms of content. Thanks for joining me for the report everyone and let’s make it a point to meet back here around the same time tomorrow so we can do it all over again.