Your hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman.
First of all, big-ass crowd. It looks like there are plenty of bad seats, though… especially by the pyro.
Opening Match, Belfast Brawl: Fit Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) vs. John Bradshaw Layfield.
Odd choice for the opener. Finlay has Hornswoggle with him. Sadly, no little crutches or anything. Bradshaw intercepts Finlay as he gets in the ring. Plunder gets involved, and Finlay blocks a piledriver on the steps. Finlay fights back with the Belfast cookie sheet. Hornswoggle provides a brief distraction, and Finlay nails JBL with the shillelagh. JBL tumbles to the floor, though, so Finlay is unable to cover. Finlay sets up a table, but JBL ducks to the floor and slaps his midget. Finlay is pissed, so he grabs JBL by the head and repeated slams him into the announce table. "DON'T (SLAM) YOU (SLAM) EVER (SLAM) TOUCH (SLAM) MY (SLAM) LEPRECHAUN!" Finlay decides it would be a fine idea to try a suicida, but JBL hauls off and nails him with a trashcan lid like A-Rod knocking one out of the park. Although Rodriguez tends to use a baseball bat. Back in, JBL again gets distracted by Hornswoggle, so Finlay gives him the Finlay Roll and tosses him into the table. JBL resourcefully grabs a Kendo stick, smashes Finlay's knee, and finishes him with the Clothesline from Hell at 8:38. Disappointing, considering this is the blowoff-by-proxy of the months-long McMahon paternity angle. So all of that – the limo retread, the lawsuit, the mysterious woman, the search for McMahon's bastard, the teasing of Kennedy, implied incest between McMahon and Melina, implied incest between HHH and Stephanie, Coachman-as-Povich, the revelation of Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard, get it?!), the mysterious "deal" with Finlay, the secret that Finlay wants no one to know, the unfathomable inclusion into the angle of JBL all leads to… this? I don't fault JBL or Finlay, but that's not really a lot of bang for as much buck as they spent over the last several months. And do we ever find out what the deal was between Vince and Finlay? The implication was that Vince was willing to reveal that Finlay was Hornswoggle's real father, but Vince had to be clued into that by JBL, so there must be *some* other secret Finlay is hiding. The match was two guys beating the crap out of each other, which was pretty much what we were promised, but I expected them to go for the epic booking here with Vince involved and the father-son duo being ripped apart or something. **1/4
KK (the one with the big ass and sex tape) interviews KK (the one that says his name twice) about the MitB. Kim Kardashian actually does a decent job – at least as good as Maria or Terri Runnels. Plus… have you seen her?!? Hire the woman, Vince!
Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match: John Morrison vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. MVP vs. Chris Jericho.
Everyone goes for ladders, but MVP looks like a genius, taking the high ground and just waiting for someone to bring one in to him. Then he looks like an idiot because he wipes them all out except Jericho and turns his back on him. Morrison goes suicidal and moonsaults everyone off the top while holding a ladder. The replay shows that he actually completed his flip before he made contact so the ladder didn't add anything to the spot, but it looked cool. Jericho monkeyflips Kennedy, but he lands right on the ladder. Morrison saves, but Shelton sunset flip bombs Kennedy into a superplex on Morrison to wipe them both out. Shelton goes up, but Carlito tips him over. Shelton's all, "I'M THE GODDAMN SPIDER-MAN, BITCH!" and lands on the top rope. He tries to springboard back to the ladder, but the ladder gives way. Punk gives him the Go2Sleep anyway. Kennedy grabs Punk and Finlay Rolls him on the ladder. OUCH! MVP misses a Yakuza Kick and gets his knee cut out from under him. Shelton goes up, but Kennedy and Carlito team up to tip him out of the ring onto a ladder that's been stretched across the apron. Carlito's "Ooooh, I think I can go to jail for that!" look is awesome. Won't be seein' Shelton no more. Jericho puts Morrison in the Walls of Jericho on the ladder, which is stupid even in a one-on-one ladder match, but in this context all it does is keep him from stopping Kennedy from going up. Thankfully, Kennedy hangs around like a doofus and lets Jericho free himself so he can stop Kennedy from grabbing the briefcase. Carlito takes out Jericho with the Backstabber off the ladder. MVP is the only one left with all his faculties, so he casually goes up. Oh, but here's MATT FREAKIN' HARDY! Hardy gives MVP a Twist of Fate off the ladder to avenge his injury and put MVP out of the match. Two of the ladders get stuck together in a weird way allowing Morrison to go up. He gets tipped over and crotches himself. Won't be seein' him no more either. Jericho goes up, but Punk scurries up and keeps him from reaching the briefcase. They brawl until Jericho falls backwards and gets hung up in the ladder. That allows Punk to go up and grab the case at 13:57. As matches strung together by nothing but crazy spots go, this is about as good as you can get. No real storyline or flow to speak of, but the spots and return of Hardy made this highly exciting. Punk is the right choice here as Jericho, Kennedy, and MVP are already at the stage of their careers where they don't need a gimmick to get them a title match. ***3/4
Howard Finkel introduces the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2008. Mike Graham making Mae Young keep her clothes on is pretty funny. Won't see that in Canton.
Snoop Dogg bonds with Festus and Mick Foley. He rings a bell, and Festus chases off Santino Marella. Mick debuts Sockizzle.
Freddie Prinze Jr. is in the crowd. I'm disappointed in the lack of Gellar.
Raw vs. Smackdown: Batista vs. Umaga.
They slug it out early, which is a good idea. I think if I saw someone trying a lockup in this match, I'd be pissed. Batista steamrolls Umaga and shoulderblocks him to the floor. Back in, Umaga hits a spinning wheel kick and a straight foot to the face. The drunken frat boy contingent starts a pro-Umaga chant as he locks in a nerve hold. A diving headbutt misses, but Batista can't pick him up for a slam. Umaga goes back to the nerve hold and gets two off the Samoan Drop. Batista blocks the Samoan Spike and launches Umaga into the post. That leads to a spinebuster and a sloppy Demonbomb for the win at 7:08. This was every 1980s power match rolled into one. It was like Haku vs. Hercules where 80-percent of the match is the heel doing boring offense before the babyface makes a comeback. *3/4
Recap of Kane winning the #1 Contender's Battle Royal.
ECW Heavyweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane.
LOOK OUT! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND—nevermind. Chokeslam and we have a new champ at 0:12. I'm not looking forward to the next few months' worth of Kane vs. Big Daddy V matches. Good for Kane, though, as he's been a glorified jobber for a while now. 1/4*
We get a WrestleMania commercial… during WrestleMania.
Raven Symone thanks the WWE for helping out the Make-a-Wish Foundation.
Mike Adamle asks Ric Flair what his game plan is for tonight. Flair's response: To be 'The Man.' Awesome. He sums up a 30+ year career in just four words and everyone who ever watched him says, "I totally get it."
Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair.
So, if Flair loses, he has to retire. If he does have to retire, at least he picked the right goddamned robe to go out with. That's magnificent. They go hold for hold early on with some rudimentary stuff. Flair backs Shawn into the corner and shoves him for calling Flair "Old Yeller," so Shawn slaps him. Tonight the part of Ricky Steamboat will be played by Shawn Michaels. They chop it out. Flair punts him and drops the knee to the eyes. Shawn blocks a charge and goes up, but Flair catches him. ROLE REVERSAL~! Flair gets two off a crossbody (!), but Shawn shoves him to the floor off a figure-four attempt. Shawn tries a springboard moonsault, but Flair ducks out of the way, and Shawn CRASHES into the announce table. Sickening. Back in, Flair gets a few two counts. Flair hits a suplex and starts tattooing Shawn with chops. Fantastic commentary by Lawler as he turns the "Old Yeller" setup on its ear by reminding everyone that they didn't kill Old Yeller because he was old; they killed him because he was rabid. Shawn hits a neckbreaker to come back. Flair gets knocked to the floor, so Shawn tries another moonsault. This one hits, and they tease a double countout. Back in, Shawn comes back with his usual and tunes up the band. He stops short on Sweet Chin Music, though, so Flair opportunistically scoops up his legs and slaps on the figure-four. They go into the bridge sequence, but Shawn can't bridge up. I know they got some flack from fans for "botching" that, but if you ever watch Brisco-Funk or Tsuruta-Bockwinkle, they actually spend minutes in that position without bridging up, so thank your lucky stars. Shawn sunset flips Flair off a shinbreaker attempt. That gets two. A small package gets two more, but Flair clips the knee and goes back to the figure-four! Shawn is reeling! He… just makes… the ropes, though. Flair stops to strut, so Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. He can't cover immediately, though, and only gets two. Shawn starts tuning up the band, but Flair isn't getting up. Shawn hauls him up, so Flair simply grabs the ref and goes low. Ha ha! Awesome. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Shawn locks in his own version of the figure-four, drawing the ire of the crowd. Flair makes the ropes, though, and thumbs Shawn in the eye for good measure. They chop it out with Flair winning, but Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music, again out of nowhere. Shawn won't cover, though, and backs off to the corner to tune up the band. Flair tearfully staggers to his feet and tells Shawn to bring on sweet career oblivion. Shawn, also crying, mouths, "I'm sorry. I love you." BANG! Flair goes down, and Shawn covers for the win at 20:24. The replay reveals an almost Obi-Wan-like moment with Flair lowering his guard and just letting it come. Spine-tingling finish. Okay, so maybe the content of the match is only around ***1/2, but wrestling is storytelling, and storytelling is all about context. This was ***** storytelling. ***1/2 content. ***** context. I'll split the difference and call it ****1/4, but honestly… does it matter?
After the match, a tearful Flair thanks his family, takes his final bow, and walks the long walk back to the locker room.
Edge talks about losing his innocence thanks to Hulk Hogan. Um, not as dirty as it sounds. He promises to give Undertaker fans a reality check.
BunnyMania Lumberjill Match: Ashley & Maria vs. Beth Phoenix & Melina (w/Santino Marella). Snoop Dogg is your special announcer. He takes a spot on a throne at ringside so he can watch up close. This was... um, the exact opposite of the last match. It doesn't help that the babyface team is made up of two Diva Search chicks with next to no experience in the ring. Even worse: Maria, for whatever reason, sells NOTHING. She's like Mariataker. Thankfully, the lights go out. Maria actually gets in position to pin Beth Phoenix cleanly (after months of building Beth up as a monstress). Santino interferes, though. Lawler gets up and clocks Santino. Beth gives Maria the Fisherman's Buster at 7:57. Snoop looks like he smoked a bowl just before coming out, which he probably did. Santino mocks Maria, but Snoopy the Dog clotheslines him and makes out with Maria right in front of him. Sensual seduction indeed. Chicks looked hot. That's the only redeeming factor here. 1/4*
WWE Heavyweight Title, Triple Threat: Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Triple H.
Cena gets played down to the ring by a marching band, which is cooler in theory than in practice. Slugfest to start as both babyfaces take turns slugging Orton. HHH catches him in a sleeper, but Cena sneaks in for a double FU. HHH wisely just lets the hold go and kicks him in the gut. Orton jumps HHH with the Stretch Backbreaker (called an inverted atomic drop by JR). HHH breaks up a superplex, and he and Orton team up for a Crossbody Doomsday Device. Cena rolls through into the FU, but Hunter breaks it up long enough for Orton to slip off his shoulder. Orton hits double rope-assisted DDTs and sets up for the RKO. Cena tosses him onto HHH, though, and hits the Sicilian Slice. Randy scurries away from the STFU and posts Cena. HHH catches Orton and hits the kneebreaker in the ropes. Cena returns and provides just enough distraction to HHH for Orton to hit the RKO. Cena locks in the STFU, but Hunter helps Orton to the ropes. HHH tosses Cena and applies the Indian Deathlock on Orton, but now Cena saves, tosses HHH and reapplies the STFU. HHH breaks that and turns it into a Crossface on Cena. Cena makes the ropes. He blocks a Pedigree but runs into a spinebuster. Orton is getting back in the ring, so Hunter stops to clip his knee. That gives Cena the opening to go for the FU. Hunter blocks and hits the Pedigree, but Orton punts him in the head and steals the pin at 14:10. This was the right decision creatively. I just never thought they'd do it. Orton gets a decent pop because he really was the also-ran in his own title defense. The match was even booked as such with each babyface taking turns beating the holy Hell out of Orton and him getting in a move only when someone's back was turned. Good booking there. ***1/2
Boxer vs. Wrestler: Floyd Mayweather (w/Mayweatherettes) vs. The Big Show.
Show is the clear babyface here, which is probably not how they envisioned this when it was signed. It works, though. It's like David vs. Goliath if David was an arrogant bitch. Floyd stops to get a drink from his chalice. What a great heel move. And he's probably not even trying to get heat. Show yanks in his water boy and chops him in the chest. Floyd tries to choke him out Cary Elwes-style, but Show flips him over and stomps on his arm. Mayweather's Rocky V-ish manager objects, so Show just starts stepping on Mayweather to the delight of the crowd. Floyd's entourage decides to get him the hell out of there. Show tracks them down and drags Floyd back to the ring. Floyd's homeys buy Floyd enough time to recover and hit Show with a chair. That staggers Show enough for Floyd to take off some of his homey's bling bling and knock Show out with it at 11:36. This accomplished all it was supposed to, although I question how boxing fans will look at Mayweather after this. Ross calls him 40-0 as if this somehow counts towards WBC standings or something. I know a lot of people were disappointed with the inclusion of Emmanuel Lewis here, but it's not like they had to sacrifice one of the many fine classics the Big Show usually puts on a WrestleMania. In fact, this is one of his better Mania performances. **1/4
WrestleMania XXV will be in Texas at Reliant Stadium. Well, the last trip to Texas yielded pretty good results.
Kim Kardashian (POPOZAO!) announces a new Citrus Bowl attendance record.
World Heavyweight Title: The Undertaker vs. Edge (w/Vickie Guerrero).
Interesting-but-not-really stat. The Undertaker has defeated all four members of Evolution at WrestleMania. Taker clotheslines Edge over the top early on. Back in, he hits a flying clothesline (VINTAGE UNDERTAKER!). Taker hits a weird sort of knee and tumbles over the top. I guess Edge was supposed to move out of the way. Edge knocks him off the apron (MASTER MANIPULATOR!) and hits a neckbreaker on him against the ropes. Back in, Edge spears Taker into the corner. Taker tries to slam him but collapses. He catches Edge going up and simply shoves him to the floor. He follows that up with his once-a-year over-the-top suicide dive. Taker hits the guillotine legdrop (VINTAGE UNDERTAKER!) for two. He can't lift Edge for the Last Ride, so Edge boots him for two (ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST!). Edge knocks Taker to the floor (MACHIAVELLIAN-LIKE!). Wow, two Coleisms in less that :20. He really brought his A-game. Back in, Edge grabs a half-crab, but Taker reverses to a small package for two. Edge stays on top with a double anklelock (ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST!). Edge and Taker slug it out (BEST PURE STRIKER IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!). Taker hits a Snake Eyes, but Edge cuts off the big boot with a dropkick (ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST!). Edge blocks a chokeslam and turns a second try into the Edgecution! ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Edge goes for the Spear, but Taker blocks and CHOKESLAMS HIM! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Taker goes for the Old School Ropewalk Forearm, but Edge crotches him and delivers the SUPERPLEX! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Edge mounts Taker for the corner pummel, but Taker counters to the Last Ride. Edge slips over him and hits a neckbreaker. Taker catches him with the Last Ride on a second try. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Edge slips over his shoulder and hits the Edge-o-Matic (ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST!) for two. Taker finally hits the Old School Ropewalk Forearm, but he tries to add a boot and bumps the ref. Edge hits the Inverted DDT (MASTER MANIPULATOR & ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST!!!). No ref, though. Edge stops to talk trash and has to kick Undertaker in the crotch to counter a chokeslam. Edge grabs a camera from ringside and smashes it into Taker's head. No ref. Edge goes for the Tombstone, but Taker reverses and hits his own. Charles Robinson sprints in all the way from Tallahassee, but by the time he gets there, Edge is able to kick out. Hawkins & Ryder run down, but Taker quickly dispatches them. Taker turns around into the SPEAR! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! A second weaker spear puts the Undertaker down, but he scissors Edge's head and applies the Gogoplata for the tapout at 23:51. The match told a great story with Edge (THE ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST!) wrestling a smart match, always one step ahead of the Undertaker's usual moves, but of course, the Undertaker is superhuman, so even Edge's best game wasn't good enough. New interesting stat: Undertaker ties Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin for most World Title wins at WrestleMania (3 each). ***3/4
Why do I bring it up? Because two guys just gave a hell of a performance, and it was nearly ruined by hacky commentary. Twelve Michael Cole catchphrases referring to these guys but once Taker turns Edge over into the finishing move he's been using for weeks in the main event of the biggest event of the year the best Cole can come up with is "there's that move!" If you haven't come up with a marketable name, just call it a "gogoplata." I'd be equally critical of Joe Buck if he were calling the Super Bowl and said, "Tom Brady rolls right. Looks down the field. Scrambles. He has a man open! Brady throws! Caught by… 'that guy' for a touchdown!"
The 411: The show has a lot of good stuff in there. Both title matches were just fine, although not the MOTYC some people are touting them as. I will call Flair's retirement match a MOTYC more for the aura, meaning, and storyline than the actual match. In fact, one could make a strong argument that Flair riding off into the sunset would have made a stronger finish for the PPV than the Undertaker's win. And that, I think, is the biggest problem I have with this show. Had they rearranged the matches a bit to build to a climax, it might have felt less plodding (and, at 4+ hours with the preshow, that's a lot of plod). I like Edge, but he just doesn't feel big time, and maybe that's because he hasn't been treated as a big-time performer. The crowd looked pretty listless going into the main event. Part of that may be from the sheer length of the show, but the fact that the match was a foregone conclusion didn't help. There's enough here to earn the show a recommendation, especially with the atmosphere, but sometimes less is more (especially where fireworks are concerned).
Edge doesn't feel big time? I don't understand how you can say that.
Taker/Edge was match of the night in my book.
Posted By: Leo (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 07:44 PM
"Edge doesn't feel big time? I don't understand how you can say that."
I just don't think - and I think the reactions of a lot of fans show - that he's on the level of the Undertaker, HHH, Cena, Orton and others. It's not necessarily his fault. Injuries have derailed his career at key moments.
Part of it is being on the B-show too.
Posted By: J.D. Dunn (Registered) on April 03, 2008 at 07:47 PM
Wow J.D. I thought cole said Vintage undertaker 3 times? Thanks you for slamming the girls match, i was cooking the entire time. the Snoop comment, just smoked one, HAHAHA!! But why not call undertaker vs edge an early MOTYC? i mean its EARLY! and they did a damn good job of making people second guess UT even though they knew UT would win. I know Cole ruined it, but the match is only slightly below HBK FLAIR
Posted By: fjuice (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 07:51 PM
Watched the Flair/HBK map. I truly thought the first 1/2 was utterly, utterly unwatchable. Slow, dull, painful to watch HBK obviously accomodate an over the hill ric flair.
The end picked up and for the pro-wrestling afficianados ... sure like watching your dad retire. But ... good? No, Flair's offense was just not at all credible at any point.
Only question is whether HBK would lay down for him. Literally. If HBK had lost, it would have been finger point of doom redux.
Posted By: help? (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 07:57 PM
Sometimes I am glad Benoit is dead because I dont have to hear Taz say "Wolverines are gonna fly Cole" every week. I know I am not the only one.
Is it wrong to wish Cole would spontaneously combust in the next few days?
Posted By: A.G. Awesome (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 08:04 PM
The funny thing is if you watch the super bowl again... when Manning and Tyree make "The Play" aka the best in superbowl history Joe Buck calls it worse the Cole did Mania.
He did an awfuuuul job selling the greatest play ever, and it came out of nowhere and lead to an amazing victory.
Posted By: Sirois Destroyer (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 08:11 PM
I've been waiting on you to post this. I find your reviews easier to read. You don't do all that much play-by-play which I like when I ain't seen the PPV.
Good job. I agree with the reasoning for the star rating for Flair.
Posted By: Rick Landis (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 08:18 PM
great recap as usual. bonus points for the soup reference
Posted By: michael (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 08:28 PM
"It's like David vs. Goliath if David was an arrogant bitch." maybe the smartest deduction i've ever read. and kim kardashian is wonderful. i had never seen her up to this point and have since downloaded her "body of work". she's amazing.
Posted By: hellboysetsfire (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 08:30 PM
i have 2 agree edge does still just feels like he only gets a title when sum1 is hurt or sum1 gets in trouble with wellness..........wait a second that actualy happened.
dont get me wrong i like the guy but if he werent in the right place at the right time he would still be waiting for his second title shot. and to be fair the only reason he was given his first shot was because he was sticking it 2 lita and managed 2 get over by fuding with hardy
Posted By: buzz killington (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 08:30 PM
Ten points to Dunn for saying "Mariataker". Ha, funny and true.
Posted By: GT Shaman (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 08:58 PM
Dunn, this has to be the funniest rant of yours I've ever read. From "Mariataker" to referencing all of The Goatee-Wearing-Little-B***h's inane catchphrases and monikers, you had me literally LOL. Nice work!
Posted By: Brian (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 09:24 PM
They need to fire Michael Cole The Little Goatee Wearing Bitch, as Scott Keith calls him. He's just so terrible...
Posted By: JJ (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 09:30 PM
Good recap J.D. but you totally NO-SOLD Shelton's SWANTON onto the ladder. It wasn't just a "tip out of the ring on to a ladder streched on the apron." Come on that was a Holy Shit moment.
Posted By: Buck I (Guest) on April 03, 2008 at 10:20 PM
Cole isn't THAT bad. When he isn't spouting off all of his trademark shitty lines, he can generally tell a good story.
Coach, on the other hand, is unlistenable. I just watched Flair/HHH Last Man Standing from Survivor Series 2005, and Coach almost ruined the match with how awful he was. If Styles had been able to call the match alone, it would have been one of the more amazing match calls in WWE.
Posted By: Nick Marsico (Registered) on April 03, 2008 at 10:51 PM
I also went through the entire Smackdown main event thinking "God, these two guys are kicking ass, and these two morons at the announce table are making it sound like a farm report."
Although it wasn't as disastrous as it could've been, Edge/Taker could've bee made much more memorable with a better announce team. I kinda wish JBL would've come back for it. If nothing else, I was actually hoping that since, yknow, the ECW commentating team only got a bit part in the MITB and all of a handful of minutes in the ECW title match embarassment (I'm counting the lead in and Chavo's introduction cause I pretty much have to), that Tazz might reunite with Michael Cole to call the main event, or with the whole SD/ECW talent exchange thingy, Styles and Tazz could've joined Cole and Coach to balance them out. Coleslaw is generally a lot easier on the ears when someone like Lawler or Tazz is riding shotgun with him to sort of take the pressure off of him carrying the commentary (although NOBODY put Cole in his place better than JBL).
When Coachman is the other guy on commentary, it makes Cole that much crappier sounding (which is weird, cause I really didn't mind Coach that much when he was calling Raw with Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler. But maybe I just answered my own statement).
As for the match itself, I look at it this way. Everyone else in a title match this year has previously main evented Mania at least once (yes, I'm counting undecard title matches as main events cause that's what Vince bills em as...sue me). In the case of Taker and Cena, they've each main evented THREE times. And Triple H has main evented SEVEN times. The only person in this equation who's NEVER had a title match at Mania was Edge, and wonder of wonders, didn't the matchup at least seem somewhat FRESH because of it?
Personally, I believe that Edge deserved the main event spot going into Mania. But on the off chance that anyone disagrees, based on both promo and performance, you'd really be hard pressed to argue that he didn't EARN that spot coming OUT of it.
Posted By: BJC (Guest) on April 04, 2008 at 12:12 AM
JD, great column as usual. I love your stuff so please don't take this the wrong way, but you pointing out every time Cole uses one of his admittedly overused catchphrases is almost worse. We get it, he relies too much on some of his stuff. Guess what? So did JBL. I think he is largley trying to compensate for Coach; if he can fill up more air with his usual quotes that's less time that Coach can make a fool of himself. Either that or he realizes the broadcast is doomed with Coach by his side and he's stopped caring (kind of like Tazz did for the early part of his ECW run, he's gotten better recently). Nick's right, Cole can tell a really good story when he's not being his own worst enemy (truth be told he's still the second best announcer out there, and don't try and tell me Dave Prazac is anywhere near the top of the list). If I was WWE I'd seriously consider switching Tazz and Coach ASAP. Move Tazz to the more important show and give Cole back someone who he has chemistry with. Coach, well, if a commentator sucks in the forest and nobody listens, does he make a sound?
Posted By: Andy Clark (Registered) on April 04, 2008 at 12:18 AM
VINTAGE DUNN!
THE BEST PURE RECAPPER IN THE BUSINESS!
Posted By: Adam Tool (Registered) on April 04, 2008 at 12:56 AM
Truth be told, just from reading this, I now support either a) the WWE championship being the final match of the night EVERY Mania, or (more logically) b) Having, say, Jim Ross, Tazz, and one of the SD guys (I'd MUCH prefer JBL to come back than either of them, though) call the entire show.
Posted By: MadmanJack (Guest) on April 04, 2008 at 01:22 AM
Cole is fine on commentary... underrated in my opinion.
But a lead commentator can be only as good as the color commentator.
When Cole was with JBL, they were a fantastic team. Cole and COACH? Not so much...
Posted By: Dan (Guest) on April 04, 2008 at 01:23 AM
I'll give Michael Cole his props. He's doing the best that he can considering the fact that he doesn't exactly the most experienced wrestling color commentator around in Coach. I enjoyed your rant as usual JD, but I can't believe you had a few complaints with the Flair/Michaels match. Even if it was Flair's match and the aura surrounding the match meant more than the wrestling, it's still Ric Flair and he did the best damn job that he could to keep up with Michaels and put on a great performance.
Posted By: Dwayne (Guest) on April 04, 2008 at 01:52 AM
I guess even you had to give up counting the number of times Cole used the word "COUNTER."
Posted By: JS (Guest) on April 04, 2008 at 03:58 AM
"Sometimes I am glad Benoit is dead because I dont have to hear Taz say
"Wolverines are gonna fly Cole" every week. "
A.G. Awesome
By that same token, are you glad Eddie's dead because now we don't have to hear Cole repeatedly stating that "'Lie, cheat and steal' isn't just a catchphrase, it's a philosophy for him"? Seems a bit harsh to me.
Posted By: T.G. Corke (Registered) on April 04, 2008 at 08:21 AM
I guess we didn't have the sound turned up that loud, or we were just loud ourselves, 'cause I barely remember Cole's commentary. I just remember how odd it was to not hear JR calling the main event.
Posted By: G-Walla (Guest) on April 04, 2008 at 06:15 PM
well... what if the IWC comes up with a name for it and then just runs with it? How about the Death Knell... or Death's Door? I guess it really doesn't matter anymore... Since Taker doesn't talk, he doesn't get his own moves over like HHH, Orton, HBK or Cena... I really miss that aspect of his character.
Posted By: JamesDaBear (Guest) on April 05, 2008 at 03:37 AM
I thought this was one of the more creative ly booked Wrestlemania's the WWE has put on. They've booked some crappy ones (WM 2000, WM IX, WM 2, WM IV [iknow i'll get some heat for that]) but they really put over the 'new generation' so to speak. Rated RKO got over BIG on this night. They are superstars now, I think Orton more then Edge, obviously he got the win. Dunn's right about the opener, and the women's match. I miss Trish Status.
The Triple Threat reminded me a lot of the WM 20 triple-threat. I really enjoyed that match and it WAS booked almost perfectly. I just wish it went about ten minutes longer.
The Main Event was a tremendous match. Cole and Coach can....um "Suck It". This will be thier only WM Main Event, and they did a serviceable job. But Coach just adds NOTHING. Cole's phrases are annoying as hell and I wish he would just talk half as much. The match did what it needed to do.
Oh, and it looks like now that the last round of DRUG TEST have happened (Hardy), Orton and couple others are back on the juice. IMO.
Posted By: jackdespenser (Guest) on April 06, 2008 at 02:31 PM
oh yeah and...."WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Posted By: jackdespenser (Guest) on April 06, 2008 at 02:32 PM
I would love to see Cole's "box score" at the end of every review. Classic stuff and just MAYBE if it really gets hammered on long enough someone in the E will take notice.
Posted By: Jason (Guest) on April 07, 2008 at 03:09 PM
I watched some old matches from S/Down this week... 2003(ish).
Cole (before he turned repetitive) and Tazz as a team rule. Better than JR/King.
Posted By: Probes (Guest) on April 08, 2008 at 01:35 PM
