411’s WWE Heat Report 04.06.08

Posted by Scott Slimmer on 04.06.2008

Jobber? Check. Bad oral hygene? Check. A porn star, two incestuous Brits, and a pair of crazy luchadores? Check, check, and check. Look’s like we’re ready for another episode of Heat…

Hey guys and gals, I'm Scott, and this is 411's ALL-NEW, ALL-DIFFERENT WWE Heat Report.

I've always prided myself on writing the Best Damn Heat Report on the Net, and part of being the best is continually striving to improve. So recently I was proud to debut a completely new format for the Heat Report. The most dramatic change was a drastic reduction in the length of the play-by-play. I loved writing in-depth, detailed reports of each match, but I completely understand that most readers would rather just get right to the highlights. So from now on I'm going to be presenting a more condensed Overview of each match in order to give you a clear view of the main events while skipping over some of the more minor details. However, in order to compensate for the abbreviated length of the Overview, I'm also going to be adding a Background, Analysis, and Rating for each match. The Background will provide a brief review of the recent events in the careers of each of the wrestlers involved in the match while the Analysis and Rating will allow me to give you my opinion on the quality and future implications of the match. Finally, I'll still include the Result, Length, and Best Spot in order to continue to provide the most complete coverage possible. Okay, enough with the boring stuff. Let's get to the wrestling.

Match 1: Snitsky vs. JT Flash

Background: Snitsky has scored two consecutive victories on Heat, defeating Val Venis in a singles action four weeks ago and then again one week ago. However, within the last week Snitsky has also been defeated by Batista in singles action on Smackdown and lost a 24-Man Battle Royal prior to WrestleMania 24. Snitsky will thus be looking to return to his winning ways and build some momentum with a win in this match. On the other side of the ring, JT Flash is a jobber. Say a prayer for his soul… and his spleen.

Overview: Snitsky takes control early by shoving Flash to the corner and then damn near decapitating him with a clothesline. Snitsky locks in a double underhook, shakes Flash like a Polaroid (or a colicy baby), connects with a scoop slam, and drops an elbow down onto Flash's chest. Snitsky drags Flash back to his feet, shoves him to the ropes, and once again damn near decapitates him, this time with a Big Boot. Snitsky again drags Flash back to his feet, hits him with a pump-handle slam, and gets the three count.

Analysis: This was just about all you'd expect from a Snitsky squash match. No more, no less. Snitsky looked dominant, which of course was the entire point of the match, and you have to love the brutality he puts into moves as simple as a clothesline and a Big Boot. It's difficult for me to imagine Snitsky ever moving much farther up the card, but I'll give him credit for being able to kill a jobber in spectacular fashion.

Result: Snitsky defeats JT Flash with a pump-handle slam.
Length: 1:40
Best Spot: Snitsky's double underhook
Rating: *


Match 2: Val Venis vs. Paul Burchill w/ Katie Lea Burchil

Background: Paul Burchill defeated Val Venis two weeks ago on Heat. Last week on Heat, Paul Burchill picked up another win by defeating Super Crazy while Val Venis tumbled even farther by losing to Snitsky. Venis will certainly be looking to even the score in this rematch, but Burchill will do everything in his power to remain undefeated on Heat. Because that's what Katie wants. And what Katie wants, Katie gets.

Overview: Burchill takes control early with a standing side head lock followed by a running shoulder block. Venis and Burchill slug it out in the corner, but Burchill whips Venis to the opposite corner and connects with a running clothesline for a two count. Burchill locks in a rear sleeper hold, but Venis breaks the hold, whips Burchill to the corner, and catches him with a big back body drop. Venis hits a running clothesline and a swinging neck breaker, but Burchill rolls out of the ring and begins to head back up the ramp. Venis follows Burchill up the ramp, but Burchill catches him with a quick clothesline before rolling him back into the ring and sliding back into the ring himself. Burchill locks in a neck and arm submission hold, but Venis breaks the hold and levels Burchill with a volley of forearm shots. Venis connects with a running shoulder block and goes for the Half Nelson Slam, but Burchill counters. Venis hits the ropes and goes for a running clothesline, but Burchill blocks and follows up with an armbar takedown (i.e., a single arm DDT, which Josh Mathews quite impressively calls correctly) and the Curb Stomp for the three count.

Analysis: It was short and sweet, and the right guy got the win. You can argue about whether or not Paul Burchill will ever move any farther up the card using this incestuous gimmick, but he needs to continue to pick up wins like this over established veterans like Val Venis if he has any chance. Burchill looked good for most of the match, but he needs to either drastically enhance the Curb Stomp or find another finisher. His current version of the move simply isn't as impactful or brutal as you would expect out of Burchill, and developing a new finisher could be an important step in his climb up the ladder. Of course, I would LOVE to seem him return to the C-4, but I'm pretty sure that WWE doesn't want a guy as big as Burchill to use such an acrobatic move as his finisher.

Result: Paul Burchill defeats Val Venis with the Curb Stomp.
Length: 3:36
Best Spot: Burchill's armbar takedown
Rating: *½


Match 3: Super Crazy vs. Charlie Haas

Background: Charlie Haas defeated Super Crazy on the 01.25.08 episode of Heat. However, since then, Super Crazy and Charlie Haas have both become mired in losing streaks on Heat. Super Crazy was defeated by Paul Burchill last week on Heat, and Charlie Haas lost to "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan two weeks ago on Heat. Both Super Crazy and Charlie Haas will thus be looking to pick up a win in this match and start the new wrestling year with a win.

Overview: Haas takes control early with a single leg takedown into a front chancery into a European headlock, but Crazy fights back with a modified rolling arm drag takedown followed by a modified springboard wrist-lock arm drag takedown from the Old School position. Yeah, I know, that was wordy as hell, but it was the best way I could find to describe the sequence. Haas back body drops Crazy over the top rope, but Crazy floats over, lands on the ring apron, heads up to the top rope, and connects with a top rope flying cross body for a one count. Crazy connects with a body-scissors head lock takedown followed by a basement drop kick to Haas' face. Crazy heads up to the top rope and prepares for a moonsault, but Haas rolls out of the ring and then disappears beneath it. Haas soon reemerges as Lucha Haas and slides back into the ring.

Crazy catches Lucha Haas with a back body drop and goes for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, but Lucha Haas counters into a spinning head scissors takedown. Lucha Haas whips Crazy to the corner and Crazy tries to float over, but Lucha Haas catches Crazy by the legs and slams him chest-first down to the mat. Lucha Haas whips Crazy to the corner, connects with a running shoulder block to the gut, and scores with belly-to-belly suplex for a two count. Lucha Haas locks in an abdominal stretch and grabs the top rope like a good lucha heel. Crazy eventually counters into a hip toss and goes for another body-scissors head lock takedown, but Lucha Haas counters and catches Crazy in mid-air with a Full Nelson. La Cerradura Principal! La Cerradura Principal! Dude, that was just awesome in every way possible. Crazy eventually breaks the hold, ducks a clothesline, and connects with a spinning heel kick, a running drop kick, a running basement drop kick to the knee, and a standing moonsault for a two count. Lucha Haas goes for a powerbomb, but Crazy pulls off Lucha Haas' mask and lands on his feet. Crazy goes for an enzuigiri, but Haas ducks and counters into the Haas of Pain for the submission victory.

Analysis: This was a hot little match and really showcased Charlie Haas' continued evolution. Haas's lucha libre moveset seems to grow every week, and this was the first time that I could clearly see the difference between Charlie Haas' arsenal and Lucha Haas' arsenal. The technical work here was impressive, and there were a number of innovative counters including Lucha Haas' spectacular Full Nelson counter to Crazy's body-scissors head lock takedown. Of course this match would have been better had it been given more time, but it was a fine little match by Heat standards.

Result: Charlie Haas defeats Super Crazy by submission with the Haas of Pain.
Length: 6:47
Best Spot: Lucha Haas countering Crazy's attempted body-scissors head lock takedown and catching Crazy in mid-air with a Full Nelson.
Rating: **½


Match 4: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. "The Canadian Bulldog" DH Smith

Background: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan is the most seasoned veteran on the Heat roster, while DH Smith is one of Heat's most promising newcomers. Duggan and Smith have never met in the ring, but Smith will clearly have something to prove when he steps into the ring with an established star like Duggan.

Overview: Duggan and Smith start with a series of collar-and-elbow tie-ups, but Smith shoves Duggan hard in the chest before climbing between the ropes to force the referee to create some distance. Heelish! Duggan turns his back on Smith to play to the crowd, so Smith shoves him in the back, scampers out of the ring, and drops Duggan neck-first down onto the top rope. Smith climbs back in the ring and drops a pair of elbows for a one count. Duggan fights back with a hip toss and three consecutive running clotheslines, so Smith rolls out of the ring to catch a breather. Heelish! Smith climbs back into the ring and gets into a slugging match with Duggan before dropping him with a kick to the chest. Smith goes to work with a volley of mounted punches and gets a two count out of it. Smith locks in a rear sleeper hold and then kicks Duggan in the head for another two count. Smith locks in a second rear sleeper hold, drags Duggan to the ring apron, climbs out of the ring, and connects with an elbow to Duggan's throat that knocks him clear out of the ring. Smith connects with another kick to Duggan's head before rolling him back into the ring and sliding back into the ring himself.

Duggan and Smith get into another slugging match, but Smith creates some distance by raking Duggan's eyes. Smith scores with a snap-mare takedown into yet another rear sleeper hold, but Duggan fights back to his feet, breaks the hold, and pounds away on Smith in the corner. Duggan whips Smith to the corner and goes for a running shoulder block, but Smith just manages to slide out of the way. Duggan slams shoulder-first into the top turnbuckle, and Smith follows up with a scoop slam and an elbow drop for a two count. Smith goes back to the rear sleeper hold and then tries to slam Duggan's head into the top turnbuckle. Stupid and heelish! Duggan blocks, slams Smith's head into the top turnbuckle, whips Smith to the opposite corner, and connects with the running three-point stance clothesline, but SMITH KICKS OUT! I honestly cannot EVER remember seeing anyone kick out of Duggan's running three-point stance clothesline on Heat. That, kids, is a little piece of history right there. Smith gets back to his feet on the apron, catches Duggan with a shoulder to the gut, finds a double leg takedown, and rolls up Duggan with his feet on the ropes for the three count. After the match, Duggan grabs his trusty 2X4 and chases Smith back up the ramp.

Analysis: The first thing that impressed me about this match was that, like in the Venis / Burchill match, the right guy got the win. Smith needs experience and credibility more than anything at this point, and racking up wins over veterans like Duggan will help in that endeavor. The second thing that impressed me about this match was how naturally Smith adapted to playing the heel. I'm still unclear as to why WWE decided that Smith needed to turn heel, but you have to admire how easily he added subtle heel characteristics to his ring work in order to clearly become the heel. That kind of innate understanding of basic match psychology will serve Smith well throughout his career and is a good indicator that he may have a good deal of success in his future.

Result: "The Canadian Bulldog" DH Smith defeats "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan with a roll-up pin.
Length: 7:10
Best Spot: All of Smith's newfound subtle heel mannerisms
Rating: *¼


Okay kids, that's it for this edition of Heat. Hope you had fun. Feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions. I'll see you back here next weekend.