The Impact Crater 04.17.08

Posted by Ryan Byers on 04.23.2008

Booker T. fails miserably in his selection of opponents.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle/Scott Steiner Interview Segment
Segment #2: Jay Lethal (c) def. Johnny Devine in an X Division Title Match
Segment #3: Petey Williams def. Jay Lethal (c) in an impromptu X Division Title Match
Segment #4: Eric Young & Frankie Kazarian def. AJ Styles & Travis Tomko (c) and LAX to win the TNA Tag Team Titles
Segment #5: Christian & Rhino def. The Dudley Boys
Segment #6: Vince Russo's Typical Booking Patterns def. Eric Young & Frankie Kazarian (c) to vacate the TNA Tag Team Titles
Segment #7: The Amazing Kong (c) def. Roxxi LaVeaux in a TNA Women's Title Match
Segment #8: Booker T., Sting, & The Road Dogg def. Bobby Roode, James Storm, & Billy Gunn

The Main Stuff

Angle Numero Uno: New Champ, Old Challengers

Well, this is the beginning of the Samoa Joe era. Yippee.

The apparent direction of the World Title scene has its good aspects and its bad aspects. First of all, I have absolutely no problem with Scott Steiner being Joe's first big challenger for the championship. Yes, I do realize that nobody on the face of the earth actually believes that Steiner will be walking away with the title. However, there are times at which it's perfectly acceptable to give fans the result they know will happen and want to see as opposed to leaving them in suspense. This is one of those times, as there are enough guys on the roster who draw just as well as Joe that you can pair a couple of them up on top of the next pay per view in addition to the title match and have the numbers remain virtually the same. On top of that, we all know that Steiner and Joe have good chemistry, as was proven when Big Poppa Pump was the Samoan's first major rival after his departure from the X Division. (Well, except for Sabu . . . but who cares about Sabu these days, anyway?) The two had a surprisingly good singles match as part of that angle and cut some very memorable promos, so I wouldn't be surprised if they pull out the same sort of feud heading in to Sacrifice.

Here's the negative comment that you all knew was coming: Why in god's name are they giving the Angle versus Joe rematch away for free next week on television? I don't get it. The company has already proven that, almost no matter what they do, they get the exact same ratings for Impact. On top of that, they're locked in to a long-term contract with SpikeTV and the network is apparently happy with the numbers, so it's not as though they're in a position in which there's any pressing need to pop above 1.2. However, unlike its television ratings, TNA's pay per view buyrates actually do fluctuate somewhat based on the quality of the card and the promotion for it. Given that history as proven the company is more likely to increase viewership with a big match on PPV than they are with a big match on TV, you have to wonder why they wouldn't just run this on the pay show following Sacrifice. (And that's to say nothing fo the fact that bigger numbers on PPV directly translate to more money in the company's pocket whereas bigger numbers on television do not.)

Angle Numero Dos: Booker T. Fails at Logic

Following an unfortunate appearance on the game show The Weakest Link, there was a several week period during which Booker T.'s gimmick on WWE television was that he was an idiot. I have to say that, in the minutes following this evening's main event, TNA did a better job of making the Book look like an idiot than WWE ever did. The sad thing is that I don't think TNA was trying.

For those of you who missed it, Booker and James Storm were on opposite ends of a six man tag team match. Storm attempted to hit Booker with a beer bottle. Matt Morgan, who was not a part of the match, ran in and saved T. from being blasted in the head with the glass implement. If somebody prevented me from being hit in the head with a glass bottle, my reaction would be, "Why thank you, friend! Allow me to purchase you some form of alcoholic beverage as a means through which to show my gratitude!" Well, apparently Booker and I are very different men. Booker's reaction to being saved was not one of gratitude. Instead, he was ANGRY. Apparently he's got some kind of obscure masochistic fetish in which he enjoys having glass shattered over his forehead. (That probably makes things awkward for Sharmell.)

Even more odd than the fact that Booker was angry was what he did as a result of his anger. So the guy is ticked off at Matt Morgan. Again, if I were angry with Matt Morgan and I were a professional wrestler, my reaction would be something to the effect of, "Morgan! You have raised my ire! I shall challenge you to a grappling battle in which I shall wrest you to the mat and force you in to submission! You shall atone for your wrongs while in the confines of my finishing hold!" Again, Booker T. and I are apparently very different men. Instead challenging Matt Morgan to a match because he was angry with Matt Morgan, he challenged STING to a match because he was mad at Matt Morgan.

Ahem . . .

WHAT?!

And the Rest . . .

~ A couple of weeks ago, I'd made fun of TNA for turning their "Feast or Fired" briefcases in to a lame knockoff of Money in the Bank. Well, they took it to a brand new level tonight by having Petey Williams cash in his title shot in a manner very similar to Edge. C'mon, guys, try to do something that's at least halfway creative.

~ And I'm going to hold off on commenting on the Tag Team Title situation. It strikes me as something that, though stupid now, could lead to something decent. I'll let you all know how I feel after watching the next episode.

~ It figures that the week after I both compliment Crystal and actually remember he name that they'd get rid of her.

~ They're breaking up the Dudley Boys? Oh yeah, because that worked so well the last time . . .

~ I have to take a second to give a big thumbs up to Ms. Roxxi LaVeaux. I've mentioned a couple of times in this column that she's very underrated compared to the rest of the TNA women, and I think that she proved me right on this particular episode of the show. She and Kong put on two very good matches in SHIMMER, so I was glad to hear that they've have an opportunity to hook it up on national television. The two didn't disappoint. Granted, it wasn't a five star classic, but it was very good for a women's match on free TV and displayed that Roxxi is easily capable of maintaining the standard of women's matches in the promotion that has been set by Kong, Kim, Jackie, and ODB. Hopefully she's turned in to more of player in the next month or two.

Overall

The month or so worth of TNA Impact heading in to Lockdown was, in my opinion, the most consistently entertaining period that the company has had in last couple of years. This show was not on the level of those episodes. It had individual segments that were as good as the segments building to Lockdown, including the opening promo with the three men in the World Title picture and the Women's Title match. However, there were also segments that reminded me of the typical TNA fare of the last two years, including the idiocy of Booker T.'s challenge and the bizarre Christian/Rhino bump that seemed to exist for no reason other than having a Christian/Rhino bump. It seems as though this is a crucial time for the promotion's direction, as they can either opt to fall more on side of the former segments or more on the side of the latter segments. Please make the right choice, TNA. C'mon, cross the line.

This is Austin!
by Austin Arte

(Ryan's note: Many of you have already come to know and love Austin Arte, a young gentlemen who captured Crater readers' hearts and minds when he first e-mailed me several weeks ago. Eventually, I offered him a regular spot in this column in which he could let us in on his . . . umm . . . unique take on professional wrestling. If you're so inclined, you can e-mail him at [e-mail].)

ok ive got a lot 2 talk bout this wk 1 st of all i want 2 talk 2 all u guys main fun of me down in the commants well 1st of all u don't know wut ur talkin bout bc u say im like a kid well gues wut im not a kid im 22 yrs ole an ive been watchin wreslin 4 9 yrs now so i kno wut im talkin bout u think ur so good weres ur column on 411mania i think ur all jus jeaous of me cuz i get 2 rite on a bit website that all gthe big wreslin stars reed. so nun of u guys kno wut ur talkin bout cuz im prolly older than u prolly wated more wreslin an kno more 2. neway im not gunna talk bout those geeks 4 the res of myh column ive got more important things 2 worry bout 1st of all i want 2 talk bout lockdown a lil wile ago i tole u all that lockdwon would b better than wrestlmania an guess wut i wuz rite i kno i sed i wouldn watch wrelsmania but i got a tap of it 4 free frum my friend gary an i watched it cuz i didn have 2 give vice mcman my $$$$ bc i wont do that bc hes killin wut made resling great. so i watch wrestlemania an of cours i watched lockdwn bc i watch all of the tna ppvs bc it's the bes wreslin n the world. an like is sed lockdow wuz way better i mean u ahd lethal locdown match witch had all kins of exictng moves an weapons an it wuz way more excitn than nething on wresltnmania even that stupid money in the banks match witch wuz jus a cheap ripoff of everyhin a great wresltr like aj styles does if wwe really cared bout wreslin thed get a real wrestlr lie aj styles an not theese fools that they get 2 do a bd ajr styes ripoff like sheldon benjamin. an the other bigg thing every1 likes bout wreslemania withc wuz c*** witch wuz the ric flair match i mean u cant srlsy watch ric flair an think hes negood like i sed ive watch wrestlin 4 9 yrs now an tthat hole 9 yrs ric flair ahs never been ne good i mean he jus has the sam match all the time i dunno how nebody ever started 2 lik rick flair in the 1st place lockdown had like 10 matces that were all better than nethgn that ric flair has ever dun even the woman match on lockdown wuz beter than the ric lfair wrestlemnai matcha n i c everybody talk bout the ricd flair match like it wuz the greatest of all tme wll I guess if u ppl want 2 have sum kinda man cursh on ric flair even tho hes no good thats ur business an not mine ill jus keep watchin good wreslin in tna an u can go fine wutever reitremnet home wwe sent ric flair 2 an sti aroun all day an change hsi old man dippers wile he yells wooo I jus c***** my pants wooo

That was Austin!

And that'll do it for another edition of the Impact Crater. Because of my inability to get anything done on time these days, I'll actually be back in roughly thirty-six hours with the next installment of the Crater. If you want to know exactly when it's posted, head over to my MySpace and add me as a friend. I'll post a bulletin. In fact, I post a bulletin every time I put a new column up on the site. It's the best way to keep track of my 411 activities!