411's AWA on ESPN Classic Report 04.24.08

Posted by Randy Harrison on 04.25.2008

Everyone usually takes it easy during the holiday season, and judging from this episode, Verne Gagne and the AWA are no exception...


411's AWA On ESPN Classic Report


After the horrible show yesterday, there's nowhere to go but up, so let's see what happens. That's all I got, since it was pretty disheartening yesterday....


AWA Championship Wrestling (Originally aired on...)

Larry Nelson is in the AWA studios, wishing us a Happy Holiday before he sends us to even more matches from Superclash III, I guess as a Christmas present from Verne.


Match One: Texas Heavyweight Championship
Brickhouse Brown vs. Iceman "King" Parsons (c)

They end up coming down to the ring together for some not really explained reason, and Parsons looks resplendent in his turquoise tuxedo jacket and top hat. Verne Gagne has joined Lee Marshall on commentary and begins talking about his time wrestling, somewhat ignoring the two guys in the ring. Way to put over the other organizations in the "coalition of the desperate", I'm sure they all appreciate it. Parsons struts a little before getting in Brown's face and shoving him. Brown shoves Parsons and puts him on his ass before locking in a headlock. Whip into the ropes and Brown gets a shoulderblock before Parsons gets a leapfrog and turns into a dropkick. Parsons hits the floor to recover and Brown starts busting a move in the middle of the ring. Parsons makes his way back into the ring and they lockup with Brown getting the headlock again in the middle of the ring before Parsons shoots him into the ropes again. A couple of shoulderblocks and down goes Parsons and Brown catches him in a backslide off of a back bodydrop attempt for a two-count and Parsons is back to the floor. They lock it up again and Brown is back to the side headlock and Parsons shoots him in again, dropping down a couple of times before coming at him with a high knee that puts Brown down. Short clothesline gets a two-count for Parsons and he picks Brown up for a SNAP SUPLEX!! Another long two-count for King and Irish whips Brown in but misses a reverse elbow when Brown somersaults out of the way. Cross-bodyblock for Brown only gets a one-count and Parsons drops him with a big left hand, covering him for another two-count. Parsons sets Brown up for a piledriver but Brown is able to reverse into a backdrop before booting away at King and dropping him with some punches. Brown stomping away in the corner before Irish whipping Parsons in to deliver a reverse elbow. Brown gets a flying forearm or bodypress or..something and he only gets a two-count because Parsons has his foot on the ropes. Brown celebrates like he won the match, the crowd sits on their hands doing nothing since they have virtually no idea who he is, and Parsons is in the corner adjusting a foreign object (HE'S NOT EVEN FOREIGN!!!), preparing to fix Brown's shit in relatively short order. The referee finally explains to Brown that he didn't win and he heads over to try to pick up Parsons and WHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAMMMMMYY!! Parsons tucks it back into his pants, (the foreign object, not "IT") and gets the three-count!

Winner: Iceman "King" Parsons (pinfall, foreign object shot)

Match Analysis: No one knew who these guys were and it showed because the crowd was dead for the entire match. It was good enough for the time that they had, but really as much as you can't have a good TV match when you're given three minutes, you can't have much of a PPV match when you're only given five. They did their best but they didn't have the time to get the fans on their side at all. Acceptable, but a tad on the boring side since there was lots of repetitiveness in the moves off the ropes.


After the commercial, Larry Nelson is talking about the Parsons/Brown match and then he brings in Greg Gagne, as Gagne talks about winning back the AWA International Television Championship, saying that he would have loved a pinfall instead of the count-out, and that everyone was up for the SuperClash the same way that the football players are up for the Super Bowl. Larry asks about Gagne possibly having trouble defending the title while setting his sights on Jerry Lawler's Unified Championship, but Gagne shoots that down, saying that he's got to defend his International TV Championship all around the world and says that the influx of talent is coming back because this is the wrestling league, not hype, not glitz, not glamour, not showbiz, not all that BULLSHIT THAT MAKES MONEY!! WE WRESTLE GODDAMMIT!!! Uh...sorry, I paraphrased and went off a little bit. Gagne says to expect the best in wrestling in the AWA in 1989.


We go back to highlights from the Boot Camp Match, shown in its entirety on the previous episode and we get the finish of that match again with the attacks from the Sheiks and DDP on poor, hapless, Sarge. Back in the studio, Larry Nelson is shocked that the men from Iran and Iraq would be able to work together with their countries at war, before sending us to Slaughter for some pre-taped comments. Slaughter says that any wrestling fan knows the name Sgt. Slaughter and knows the name Iron Sheik. He says that everyone knows that when Sheik Adnan El-Kaissie is in the arena that he'll be there and he wonders why the Sheiks and Col. DeBeers have to attack him from behind all the time. SIGN THE CONTRACT AND BE A MAN!!! FACE TO FACE, ASSHOLES!! Apparently the time is drawing near that they'll have to face him face-to-face and he'll face them in the face when that time comes. FACE!!!


Larry Nelson talks about the year-end awards that are handed out by Pro Wrestling Illustrated and Bill Apter, the editor was at SuperClash III to present Jerry Lawler with the award for Inspirational Wrestler of the Year, because he never gave up on the hope of winning the world title and because of all of his inter-promotional matches in the year, according to Apter. He presents Lawler with the plaque and I'm thinking that I'd love to see him go heel and lay out Larry Nelson with that damn thing. Instead Lawler gives a bit of a generic speech thanking the magazine and the fans, finishing with "I'm not going to say that I deserve it, but I deserve it!!" Lawler then says that after he wins both belts, he'll be Wrestler of the Year in 1989. Larry Nelson, King of Segues, moves from the award presentation to talking about how he doesn't like the Iron Sheik. He claims he's a professional and then throws us to an interview he conducted with the Iron Sheik. Sheik is already mumbling so this should be classic. He asks if Larry Nelson knows who the WWF champion was before that Hollywood jackass, and then forces Nelson to mention his Olympic background, saying that Slaughter has done none of it. Now Sheik is in roughest area the A-DOUBLE-A and Sheik Adnan brings in Col. DeBeers who says that the Sheiks are real gentlemen and that Slaughter is no gentleman. With the minds of Adnan and the Col. behind him, the Iron Sheik will bring about the END OF SGT. SLAUGHTER!! COMMERCIALS!!!


Just so you know, we're now thirty minutes into the show and have had 4 minutes of wrestling. God, this is horrible. Larry Nelson welcomes us back and what....wait...we're going to a match? REALLY??? Well, spank my ass and call me Grandma, it's about time.


Match Two: WCCW Light Heavyweight Championship
Eric Embry vs. Jeff Jarrett (c)

The crowd sounds like they're behind both men and if this gets some time it should be decent, so let's see where it goes. They lockup after Embry hesitates for a moment and it's a stalemate. Another lockup and another stalemate and Embry moves to get a hammerlock and Jarrett reverses it, forcing Embry into the ropes for the break. They lockup and Jarrett works over the arm and they trade reversals before stalemating again. Side headlock from Jarrett and he gets shot into the ropes and they do a quadruple-reversal sequence on a hip toss before ending up in the ropes. Embry with a little shove and Jarrett shoves him right back before Jarrett takes over on the arm, getting a standing armbar and dropping a couple of elbows before Embry throws him over with an armdrag. HUGE clothesline folds up Jarrett like a lawn chair and the crowd really responds to that. Chicago loves the beautiful people getting beat up, that's for sure. Embry plays to the crowd a little before Irish whipping Jarrett in, missing a clothesline and then eating one from Jarrett. Jarrett tries to follow it up with a cross-bodyblock and Embry ducks, letting Jarrett slam into the ropes before he rolls out to the floor. Jarrett's holding his shoulder and gets back into the ring at the count of nine, rolling under the bottom rope and Embry is right to work with a standing armbar. Embry whips Jarrett into the corner but eats a boot off of the charge and Jarrett is up to the second rope with a FLYING DROPKICK!! He lands on the shoulder and goes down, finally following up with a sunset flip but he only gets two on Embry. Backslide for two!! Small package for two!! Jarrett tries another sunset flip but Embry rolls through and reverses it for a 1-2-3!!! New Champion!! NEW CHAMPION!!

Winner: Eric Embry (pinfall, rollup)

Match Analysis: Again, like the rest of the card, stuff is just way too short to mean shit all. The finish came pretty much out of nowhere as the match was basically "They're even, they're even, they're even, Jarrett hurts himself, GO HOME!! GO HOME!! YOU'VE ONLY GOT FOUR MINUTES!!!" How the hell are they supposed to tell a convincing story in four goddamn minutes? It's a credit to Embry and Jarrett that they were able to get the crowd as into it as they were.

After the match Lee Marshall is on the outside with Embry, and Eric says that the belt is back where it belongs and that he went to South Africa to win the belt and bring it back home. He says it's a shame that Jarrett hurt his shoulder and that anytime Jarrett wants a shot, he can have it. Embry cuts the interview short because he wants to get a doctor and see how Jarrett is doing. Marshall calls Embry a champion and a sportsman as Embry heads off to the back.


Back at the AWA studios, Larry Nelson talks about how the most brutal match that he's ever seen was the strap match between Wahoo McDaniel and Manny Fernandez, before he throws us to comments made after the match by McDaniel. Wahoo is on his way back to ringside from the back and he's a bloody mess. Marshall asks him if it was worth it because of the price he paid tonight to win the strap match. McDaniel says that he still thinks that the feud between himself and Fernandez will never be over, saying that maybe it'll get settled in a back alley behind the building or maybe it'll get settled with a gun in his hand. COWBOYS AND INJUNS, BITCH!! BRING IT!! Yeah, I'm sure Verne loved that statement about the gun. McDaniel says that they both took a beating but beating him isn't what he wants because he wants Fernandez DEAD!! Again, Verne must have been thrilled with a death threat on PPV. The good thing is that according to the buyrate, no one saw it. We cut to the Fernandez promo from the other night's show with Fernandez asking for a Mexican death match, to the shock and dismay of Larry Nelson, and we're back to Wahoo, saying that Jerry Lawler is on the top of his list and then it's McDaniel's promo again from the other night, with Wahoo apologizing for the gun comment and the whole wanting him dead thing.


Larry Nelson welcomes us back and sends us to the main event match for the World Class Championship Wrestling Tag Team Championship.


Match Three: WCCW Tag Team Championship
Michael Hayes and Steve Cox vs. The Samoan Swat Team (c)

The SST come out in possibly the weirdest fashion possible, led by Buddy Roberts, with "Don't Worry, Be Happy" blaring over the PA system and all three men wearing bright orange Jaegermeister t-shirts. They look like they all came from the bus station or something. Out come Hayes and Cox to good old Badstreet USA, though I don't think Cox was worth anything at this point and didn't deserve to come out to that song in my opinion. Hayes gets about the biggest pop of anyone that I've heard out of any of the SuperClash matches I've seen so far. Hayes dances and Marshall offers up the interpretation for P.S. which is Purely Sexy, in case you didn't know. Hayes plays to the crowd a little and shakes his ass before the match starts and struts a little. Hayes and Samu lockup and they trade right hands in the corner with Hayes getting the better of it, whipping Samu into his corner and tagging in Cox, who starts working over a standing armbar on Samu. Fatu tries to get in and break it up but Hayes puts him down to the floor, saving Cox from a beating. Samu tries a flying bodypress and Cox ducks under it, armdragging Samu over before going back to that armbar.

Samu goes to the hair and drags Cox back to his corner where Fatu holds him, but Cox ducks under it and Samu ends up forearming Fatu right off the apron. Hayes gets the crowd behind them with some stomps on the apron as Samu takes over on Cox with a kick to the gut and some chops before Samu and Fatu have another malfunction at the junction and again Samu puts Fatu to the floor with a forearm. Cox gets a side headlock and gets shot off into the ropes, with Fatu low-bridging him and sending him out to the floor. Fatu is right on him, slamming his head into the broadcast table on the outside before Hayes can get over to save him. The Swat Team celebrates in the ring while Hayes is outside tending to his poor Cox. Cox rolls back into the ring and Samu takes over with a chop and an Irish whip into a swinging move, smashing Cox's head into the mat. Tag in to Fatu and he comes off the top with an elbow to the head, stomping away at Cox before picking him up and putting him back on his ass with a double-thrust to the throat.

Cox tries for some kind of move but Fatu picks him up and clotheslines him across the top rope. Rake of the eyes and a snap mare and Fatu works the neck crank and into the nerve pinch as Hayes tries to get the crowd back into the match while he's on the apron. Cox gets to his feet and bounces off the ropes, ducking an elbow and then they hit a double-clothesline spot that puts both men down. COX GETS THE TAG!!! BACK BODYDROP ON FATU!!! CLOTHESLINE ON SAMU!! RIGHT HANDS ON FATU IN THE CORNER!! The SST takes over on Hayes and Cox and Samu ends up on the outside with Cox leaping over the top rope with a splash to the floor punctuated by Marshall shreiking like a woman that just had her purse stolen. Hayes with a DDT on Fatu in the middle of the ring, but the referee is distracted and Roberts comes in and WALLOPS Hayes before rolling Fatu over on Hayes and the referee turns back around for the three-count!!!

Winners: The Samoan Swat Team (pinfall, Buddy Roberts interference)

Match Analysis: Not great, but not terrible, so I'll take it when it comes to this show. The rest of the show has been rancid so the fact that a "good" match is the best of the show is still a bad sign. Cox was really hard to believe as a partner for Hayes, so that ended up hurting the match a lot, but hey, it was 1988 WCCW and the wheels were off the cart just as bad in Texas as they were in Minnesota at this point. Fun to see Roberts and Hayes on opposite sides for once, but it wasn't anything that was earth-shattering or anything.

After the match, the heels have already high-tailed it out and Cox is pissed off in the middle of the ring while Hayes is sprawled out nearly unconscious. Hayes finally comes to a little and the crowd starts chanting "Two referees" as we see a replay of Roberts hitting Hayes and rolling him over for Fatu to get the pin. Hayes still can't get up and Cox helps him out of the ring and back in the studios Larry Nelson talks about how two guys who used to be close are now hated enemies, referring to Hayes and Roberts. Nelson brings The Top Guns out and says that they started the Guns with the intention of being great tag-team wrestlers and that Dukes went to Europe but when Badd Company put out Jon Paul, the first guy that Rice thought to call was the man he could count on and his friend, Derrick Dukes. He says that the only thing on their minds are "Sad" Company and winning those tag team titles. Dukes does the generic babyface routine and Larry Nelson asks if either of them are going to get married or if they're going to still be available in the next year. Rice thanks all the pretty ladies and says that they both love the fans and we're out for another episode of the AWA on ESPN Classic!


Final Thoughts

Ugh. When you're forty-five minutes into the show and there's only been seven minutes of wrestling, that's not a good ratio at all. Especially when it means that I have to watch TONS of Larry Nelson talking and talking and continuing to talk. Remember how I said earlier in the week that I thought I had seen the worst episode out of all of the ones I had seen so far. Well, we have a new winner folks. An awful show that was a chore to sit through, so I can only imagine what it must have done in terms of viewers back in 1988. Driven them away in droves I would think. Ah well, let's get to the comments before I start to weep.


Fun With Comments


From Burton:
"Iceman King Parsons...not gonna lie, I mark like crazy for him and that promo
was freakin awesome. Maybe tonight will have MORE superclash III action, i.e
the Von Erich/ Lawler Match.

Watching this last night, i definitely got the same "creepy old man"
vibe from Larry Nelson...and Lee Marshall just looks dirty."

He was cool to be sure, just WAY past his prime at this point. And yes, both Marshall and Nelson looked like they needed to be locked up for their leering and drooling during the talk about the lingerie battle royal. Dirty, dirty perverts.


From PUCKETT:
"I MARKED OUT TOO HARD FOR BADD COMPANY! Still one of may favorites. Great
review, but we need a USWA DVD ASAP! Give me some Moondog brawls with
Lawler&Jarrett."

I remember enjoying Badd Company when I was a kid too, though like everything, they don't seem quite as awesome now. A USWA DVD would be pretty cool, though I don't think there would be much of a national market for it. Maybe a special on the territory on 24/7 or something might happen down the road, which would be a lot of fun.


Up next, a trio of comments on Jimmy Valiant; First, from G-Walla:
"Pretty much the only good to come from this show was Kerry Von Erich, Lawler,
and the Guerrerros with Bill Apter. I hope thy show Lalwer/Von Erich match.

Okay I did laugh over seeing WWE Hall of Famer Jimmy Valiant. I saw the Boogie
Woogie Man wrestle in a high school gym about 10 years or so ago. His offense
mainly consisted of sticking his finger in his opponents but. And he looked
like a frail old man. Ah, memories."


From BurritoFueled:
"Did Jimmy Valiant spend some time in the joint between the AWA in 1988 and the
UWF in 1990, or something? On the UWF show I saw him on a few months back, he
was about 50 pounds lighter and tatted from head to toe."


And the last one on the subject from GregGagneSucks:
"Yeah to BurritoFueled I heard on "Between The Ropes" that he had
'jailhouse tattoos' ,whatever that means. Off topic : I saw a match the other
day on WWE 24/7 (WCCW) between Wild Bill Irwin and a guy in a mask called The
Texan. This guys moves and mannerisms looked a lot like Jake The Snake Roberts.
Does any one know if this guy was Jake. The show was from March in '83. Was Jake
working for Fritz back then? The move that kind of gave him away was A BIG ASS
KNEELIFT. Also after the match he kinda slithered out of the ring. Help anyone?"

Regarding Jimmy Valiant, he's still going on the independent circuit to this day and I thank friend of the column, Paul Clark for e-mailing me with a picture from the last time he saw Valiant in his area.



Scary. I'm sure that he ended up in prison, either for kissing babies like he was before his match at SuperClash, or for sticking his finger in someone's ass like G-Walla was referring to. Either way, a frightening visual. As for your question GregGagneSucks, that was absolutely Jake Roberts under the hood in WCCW, as he worked in both Texas and Georgia at that time as far as I can tell.


From OB1Jabroni:
"I love the "love me or hate me, just hate me everyday" quote you made
to the poster. I enjoy your recaps; I don't always agree, but they are
truthful and insightful. Lawler is gold on the mic, right up their with Flair
and Piper as for generating heat and love. I wish he would write another book.
This show just sucked like the last one, although I am still riding the high of
the Rockers/Rose Somers tag match. Classic!!"

Thanks for the support, and I guess it's just easier to let it roll off your back than it is to let the haters get you down. Lawler was one of the greatest on the mic and it's a shame that he didn't get to do more in the AWA. Yes, the show sucked and unfortunately I'm not able to share your high from the Rockers/Rose and Somers match. These shows have just been WAY too bad.


From Rob:
"Another out of sequence episode. The 1986 episodes still had some stars.
Everyone had moved on at this point. Which promotion held on the longest, WCCW
CWA or the AWA?"

The WCCW and CWA merged together to form the USWA and held on until the mid-90's, even serving as a bit of a developmental for the WWF as they used to work some talent exchange deals, leading to guys like Owen Hart being USWA Heavyweight Champion.


From soulpower:
"Good review... I don't know how you managed to stay awake for this. Once I saw
those knock-off Rockers I just changed channels.

Even TNA thinks that this was a bad go-home show."

Yeah, it was terrible, but I'm dedicated to making sure you guys get the review so I soldiered on. I swear I need a medal or something.



Finally from Joe K. :
"The Badd Company song is easy to remember, as it was "Bad Company"
by...Bad Company!

Totally laughing at Lee Marshall's corporate mullet! And yea, I totally caught
the junior Lawler vibe from Larry Nelson when he was describing the Lingerie
Battle Royal. They must have been totally desperate for Verne to go to stuff
that would be considered commonplace 10 years later.

Oh but give Nelson credit for this... when Slaughter and Zukov were fighting in
front of Nelson, he didn't scurry like a WWE announcer. He stood by that
non-portable mic and $10 card table like it was his kid, man!"

Yeah, Verne was desperate at this point, that's for damn sure. I laughed too at Nelson hunkering down at the little cheap-ass card table like he was in the middle of the shit in Da Nang or something. He honestly looked like one of those old war reporters, ducking down and hiding away from the big bad wrestlers.


That does it for today's column, though I'd like to take a moment to thank Shawn Marek for his information on Mike Davis, and Jeff Osmond for his info on The Top Guns. I had no idea about them being the Original Top Guns, but now I do, so thanks Jeff. I had always been mixed up on which team came first but you were able to clear it up for me. As for Shawn, he spoke of a move that the Rock and Roll RPM's used to use as a finisher called the "spandex splits" which was apparently banned because it damaged their opponent's necks too often. I did a little research but wasn't able to come up with what the move was, but I will keep my eyes peeled and my nose to the grindstone to try to figure it out. By the way, during my research I put something together that I knew, but had never thought of since back when I was a kid. Mike Davis was an RPM, but he was also well known for an angle that was run in Florida where Kevin Sullivan took Davis under his wing, while Davis was pissed off at being looked over, and Sullivan essentially hypnotized or brainwashed Davis into becoming an evil version of "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes.



A pretty cool angle that I remember reading about in wrestling magazines back in the day and I had never been able to put those two together until now.

Anyhow, that's it for today folks, I'll be looking forward to seeing you all in tomorrow's column.