Sunday Night Fury: WWE Backlash 2008

Sunday Night Fury: WWE Backlash 2008

Two new champions and the King of Kings is back on his throne

Hi folks. I’m here because Professor Dunn is busy sleeping. It had to happen sooner or later. I kid, he never sleeps. Regardless he’s busy. So you got me covering Backlash. Here’s the card;

• WWE title – 4-way elimination match: Randy Orton (c) v Triple H v John Cena v JBL
• World title – Undertaker (c) v Edge
• The Big Show v Great Khali
• Shawn Michaels v Dave Batista
• US title – MVP (c) v Matt Hardy
• ECW title – Kane (c) v Chavo Guerrero
• 12 Diva Tag (Team Mickie v Team Beth)

We’re in Baltimore, Maryland. Hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, a debuting Mick Foley, Mike Adamle & Tazz. JR introduces Tazz as “The Tazz”. Adamle says something about blacks. Even with a jacket on Foley looks like crap.

US title – MVP (c) v Matt Hardy

This feud has been going on since last summer. The tag title run was 5 months ago. MVP has held this title for 11 months although Cole doesn’t mention who he beat (Benoit). Crowd is hot from the get-go. Cole name-drops LuxemBORG. Are they a small nation or a collective? Crowd loves them some Matt Hardy. MVP remembers the knee injury he gave Matt and goes right after the leg. Matt’s punches have gotten really good over the years. He has main event punches. Matt gets his Yodelling elbow in. Or the Yodellbow as it’s also known. Foley is doing a good job of breaking down Matt’s strengths and weaknesses. He points out Matt prone to errors when he gets emotional and as he says that he moonsaults onto MVP’s knees. Matt also ruptured his appendix so that means he has a bad midsection. Also those knees didn’t help. Shades of Wilbur Snyder is on. Matt counters out thanks to MVP’s errantly placed leg and hits a Samoan Drop. MVP botches a belly to belly dubbed a “great throw” by Cole. Foley is doing a fine job of breaking the match down. Matt gets a bulldog and then goes for the Side Effect but MVP goes back to the ribs and dumps him on the ropes. Play of the Day is countered into the Side Effect for 2. The crowd always pop that big although he’s never beaten anyone with it. They head up top and Matt counters it into a Side Effect off there into a double down. MVP with a backslide but the ref spots the use of the ropes. Matt gets a schoolboy but MVP boots him in the head sending him outside. Matt falling over, deliberately, makes me laugh. Matt beats the count so MVP punts him a few more times. “Cmon Matthew”. MVP wants the Yakuza Kick but Matt moves and hits the TWIST OF FATE for the belt! ***. Really strong opener with a crowd friendly belt switch. The long feud finally has a pay-off. He’s been chasing that belt for half a year.

BACKSTAGE the new interview chick, name escapes me, gets a word with Matt Hardy. He reminds us of three dead belts he’s held in the past and says this is the biggest win of his career. Eve, that’s her name. He tells MVP he’s better than him while grinning like a rapist.

ECW title – Kane (c) v Chavo Guerrero w/Bam Neely

Chavo’s poncho is pimp. Chavo chair shotted up Kane’s knee this past week on Entertainment Championship Wrestling. Kane seems to have slightly more trouble than at Mania. Mike Adamle tries to get himself over with the Hispanic viewers by putting an accent on when saying Chavo’s name. Kane puts a small sell on the knee but not much. Chavo reminds him of it by booting him in it. Adamle says Chavo “leaped over the three rings”. Has his eyesight gone? Bam wraps Kane’s knee around the ringpost while Tazz explains the rules to Adamle. Kane gets a goozle and Tazz shouts “Tombstone City”. Oh dear. Kane then stands on his bad leg to kick Chavo and starts running around the ring thus rendering the entire match, which has been Chavo working the knee, useless. Chavo catches Kane with a swinging DDT for 2. We’re heading into the denouement, which is when the hero finishes off the bad guy. Chavo gets a frogsplash, totally no sold, into a chokeslam. 1-2-3. ¼*. Well that sucked something fierce. Kane’s selling looks like he has piles.

BACKSTAGE Randall K. Orton Esq gets an interview. He reminds us we’re living in the Age of Orton and claims he’ll still be champion come the end of the evening.

The Big Show v Great Khali

These guys both get their suits from Mr Freaky Big. As I’m sure I mentioned before Show is at his most entertaining when wrestling smaller guys but Vince has a big hard-on for colossal battles. Just thinking about over 800lbs of man in the ring gets him going. Foley predicts a war. Crowd is very pro-Show. Cole points out this is “biblical” but I don’t remember two giants having a brawl in the Bible. Maybe I’m just a little rusty on my Old Testament there’s a lot of crazy crap in there. “You can’t wrestle” chants the crowd. What do they expect from the big man? Flying headscissors? Tope con hilo? Lots of clubbering in this one with Khali getting the best of it and Show getting a rare opportunity to do some convincing bumps. Khali gets a loose version of the Crippler Crossface. Both of the announcers decide to ignore it. Khali gives up on that for a chinlock, which is actually a choke. BRAIN CHOP~! SHOW KICKS OUT! “Boring” chants the crowd after Khali goes to another rest hold. Show gets the slam but doesn’t add in a legdrop to my disappointment. He does a great Hulk Hogan impression. That gets 2. Interesting to note Show is selling his chokeslam arm. Khali goes for the Tree Slam but Show blocks it. CHOKESLAM! Show wins. ½*. It was really, really boring but the imagery on the slamming was nifty. I don’t think anyone expected a good match here but they could have played to their strengths and made it some sort of gimmick match.

BACKSTAGE John Cena chats with Jimmy Wang Yang. Cena has a love of country music it seems. Orton interrupts to tell him he’s going to lose just like at Wrestlemania. Cena threatens to break Orton…like a wild horse.

Shawn Michaels v Dave Batista

Special referee is Chris Jericho who has issues with the participants after mouthing off at them during interview segments. Jericho, like the egomaniac he is, gets entrance music. He’s a lowly referee! The cheek of it. Dave’s crazy invisible machine guns are still awesome. He has a mean looking black eye too. HD gives a nice look at how much fake tan is in the ring for this match. We start with speed v power until Dave backsteps to avoid the superkick and goes for the Demonbomb but Shawn gets out and rolls to the floor. And we are ON! Shawn continues to use his speed so Dave twats him with a big clothesline in the corner. Shawn is doing his rubberball selling already. He clips the knee before going to a short-arm scissors. He’s trying to do MMA style but it’s not working. It looks lousy. It also kills the crowd. Dave powers up at the 3rd attempt and they fall over the top rope, which looked really dangerous because Shawn was still hanging onto the hold. Shawn runs Dave into the post and he’s really struggling with that arm now. Its odd Shawn clipped the knee then went to the arm. Especially when he has no arm related moves in his arsenal. It does limit Dave’s power but Dave has a habit of ignoring injuries at the conclusion of a match so how much good is all this prep work? Jericho hasn’t figured into this as yet. Shawn’s been really aggressive but almost all of his arm holds have been really loose, which isn’t the norm for him. He seems to be using moves he’s not comfortable with. Shawn gets the armbar over the ropes and Jericho has to count that. Damage done though. Shawn has had 90% of the match so far. Very unexpected. Dave comes back with a Samoan Drop (I’ll leave the line for Larry) and gets booed. Shawn mimics Flair with chops, although he was using them most of the time beforehand anyway. Dave fires back with an enormous clothesline and the crowd once again side against him. Dave is using his good arm for all this, which is good. Powerslam gets 2. Crowd really don’t care for Dave’s attitude. Shawn gets out of the powerbomb into the CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! Ah, he does have an arm based move. We just try to forget about it. Dave gets close to the ropes so Shawn rolls him back in. Benoit used to do a great roll of the Crossface. Shawn’s isn’t quite so good. Dave eventually gets the ropes and the crowd boo. Yeah, that’s how much they dislike Dave. They’ll cheer a hold that killed a child over him getting the ropes. Jericho manhandles Shawn to break the hold. Shawn gets the flying forearm and nips up. Dave runs into him, which was a bit like a spear. Jericho pulls Dave out of the corner. He’s been unbiased it’d be fair to say. Shawn gets the Savage Elbow and warms up the band. He runs right into a spinebuster. Nice to see Dave not using his bad arm when shaking the ropes. Shawn decides this would be a good time to fake a knee injury. Dave, who beforehand said he’d never trust Shawn Michaels again, gives him time. Jericho is also very protective. SUPERKICK! Dave is a dumbass. ***1/2. Fun stuff. Good selling. Especially the arm and the fall over backwards finish.

POST MATCH Shawn is still selling the knee. Jericho helps him out. Shawn’s selling has always been so good that I can’t tell if he’s legitimately injured here or not.

BACKSTAGE H’s sits. Orton has come to pay him a visit too. Orton refuses to even look at H’s. H’s tells him “pride comes before a fall”.

12 Diva tag team match – Beth Phoenix/Victoria/Melina Perez/Jillian Hall/Natalia/Layla El v Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Maria Kanellis/Ashley Massaro/Cherry/Kelly Kelly

Sure are a lot of tits in this thing. Some of them are real! Crowd love Mickie. She’s probably the best-rounded women’s character they have. And people connect with her because of that. Natalya (Nattie Neidhart, daughter of Jim Neidhart) makes her debut. Victoria works in the jigglesault. I missed that. A huge brawl breaks out on the floor, which gets a massive pop. Ashley comes in to blow some stuff despite Beth walking her through it. Mickie gets in and hits the swinging DDT. Victoria runs in to give the Widow’s Peak. Michelle kicks her SQUARE IN THE FACE! The moves continue. Cherry, being a spong, celebrates her move a little much. Beth hits the fisherman on Ashley for the win. *. That got quite energised even if it was a total mess.

World title – Undertaker (c) v Edge

Edge is devoid of minions. “I’m going to hurt you” – Taker @ Edge. Lip readers have a great time watching these PPV’s. Taker controls with power while Foley talks about how there’s no escape from the gogoplata. Cole points out that Edge is the Ultimate Opportunist. Yeah, Foley freshened Cole’s act up (*rolls eyes*). Greatest pure striker. Foley compares the Taker of now to the Taker of old. He says the newer Taker has gotten stronger and faster as he’s aged and added mat skill. Foley goes off on a story about Adrian Street putting him in a submission hold 19 years ago. Taker tries for Old School but Edge counters and goes to work on the injured back. Taker quickly overpowers. “Vintage Undertaker” for the apron legdrop. Taker is adding a little touch to his back after every move, which is a nice touch. And even nicer is watching Edge check that out. He counters a Snake Eyes into the Edgeomatic. That’s another of Edge’s counters for Taker’s vintage offence. Edge attacks the back again. “Ultimate Opportunist”. Taker shows his MMA style with mounted strikes but Edge dropkicks him in the injured spine. Good focus from Edge in this match. He’s just not had much in the way of offence to showcase it. Edge continues to wear him down with a Camel Clutch. Cole says it’s “almost like the camel clutch”. In the sense that’s it’s exactly almost like. In that it is the camel clutch. Foley points out this is just wearing him down because Taker doesn’t submit because he’s an undead zombie. They slug it out the crowd get the “YAY” and “BOO” going. Taker is doing a decent job of selling the back but the gogoplata doesn’t require the back. Taker with the Snake Eyes and the big boot for 2. Edge kicks him square in the face. IN THE FACE! BOSH! Edge, who is an idiot, considers a rana off the top and nearly gets the Last Ride. Edge bails for the title belt and drops it like a flid. Taker goes for the chokeslam, countered into a Russian legsweep. Edge has been so smart because he’s countering Taker’s key moves AND countering them into moves that impact the back. His target the entire match. Edge pulls the turnbuckle off and runs Taker into that corner. “Ultimate Opportunist”. Hawkins runs out here and belt shots Taker while Charles Robinson was checking the buckle. That gets 2. Edge tries for the spear but that’s countered into a DDT for 2. Taker has also learned from wrestling Edge so he’s got his trademark stuff scouted. It’s a mark of respect. Ryder runs in here but Edge gets throw into him. Edge tries a roll up but gets caught in the gogoplata and taps like a bitch. ****. Significantly better than Wrestlemania.

POST MATCH Taker chokes Edge out with the gogoplata. What a jerk. Vickie considers running in for the save. Hah. Edge chews on a condom full of catsup to really sell that fucker. The replay shows Edge pulling his tights up instead of trying to block the gogoplata.

BACKSTAGE Orton pays a visit to JBL. But CM Punk strolls past to tell him “good luck tonight” while gesturing at the briefcase.

SHILL – Buy Kid Rock’s CD. Or just buy Lynard Skynard’s best of and get the same song with better guitar.

WWE title – Randy Orton (c) v Triple H v John Cena v JBL

I love the reaction to Cena. This massive YAAAAAAY that’s blatantly all the women and children because it’s so high pitched then a few seconds later a loud chorus of boo’s in a much deeper voice. JR says this is no DQ and no count out. I don’t see why but that render tagging nonexistent. Orton goes to belt shot JBL to start but JBL kicks him in the face. HAHAHA. They start having trouble with the usual multiple person match. Someone always has to be down selling and they alternate that. The heels always team up to provide a storyline and build sympathy. The idea solution would have been two fights. Say one up the ramp and one in the ring? They end up having guys just selling something for too long. Cena decides to get going and hit the Throwback and the diving Rocker Dropper. Crowd shit all over him, bar the kids, and the STFU is on. JBL realises he shouldn’t break it up and instead shouts TAP at him. Orton’s pointing at Cena is hilarious. H’s sneaks up behind him and slaps him in the Crippler Crossface. He accidentally pokes Cena in the eye. Now Orton stands there shouting “TAP”. The heels are no longer getting along. I like those two submission spots. Cena gets thrown outside and just stays there. Yeah, we do seem to be suffering the same selling issues as with most multiple person matches. H’s is also lying around doing nothing without taking a major move first. JBL just loves kicking people in the head. I like that. Everyone back in for a stackerplex move. We have two refs so we get stereo pinfalls. H’s is really orange today. He may have used more fake tan than HBK. Cena v H’s is a boo v yay battle. Cena gets the fisherman for 2. Protobomb. BOOOO! Oh, come on now. Hating Cena is so 2006. He goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but gets countered into the spinebuster. H’s nearly gets caught in the FU. JBL does. H’s boots him but can’t get the Pedigree. STFU on JBL. He taps. JBL is gone.

Orton punts Cena in the head and he’s eliminated too.

Orton v H’s for the belt. Orton’s punches aren’t very good for a main event guy. They turn this into a brawl outside. H’s takes a great slingshot into the rail, which was almost like HBK’s tablesault at Mania. Orton works the back over because that worked out so well for Edge earlier. He’s very methodical and systematic. Which is polite speak for dull. He does work in the round the backbreaker though, which is nice. Orton with the dry humping chinlock. “Ya like that?” Chinlock. Boring. Interesting. Fading. H’s gets out but Orton hits a powerslam. Orton stalks looking for the RKO. H’s just barely throws him off on the way down. But then it makes sense because Orton is in the air. You can just push him off. He’s got no base. H’s goes to the trademarks and hits a high knee. Outside because the announce tables are all still standing. Orton throws H’s back into that same piece of rail he hit earlier. Orton wants a piledriver on the ring steps but H’s counters and dumps him on the steps neck first. H’s with another spinebuster and he wants the finish. Ref is bumped. That was a touch sloppy. RKO! Out of nowhere! Orton can’t get over quickly enough though because his back is still sore from the ring steps spot. Orton thinks it’d be smarter to let H’s stand up again and stand around waiting for the concussion kick than finishing. They counter back and forward. KICK IN THE BALLS. PEDIGREE! H’s wins the title! ***1/4. The earlier part of the match suffered badly from the sheer number of people involved in the match and the lack of rules. The H’s v Orton stuff was good though and sent the fans home happy.

The 411 –

Stuttered a little after the hot opener but everything came together second half. Edge-Taker was better than Mania and we got two long running storylines paying off (H’s title hunt/Hardy v MVP). Thumbs up from me.