Backlash 2008 Breakdown

Posted by J.D. Dunn on 05.01.2008

Now with 200-percent more crossface!

Backlash 2008
by J.D. Dunn

Death Rattle: (n) a sound produced by a person immediately preceding death, resulting from the passage of air through the mucus in the throat. (Random House Unabridged Dictionary, 2006)

Store this info in your melon for later.

April 27, 2008

Live from Baltimore, Mary.

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Mike Adamle, The Taz, Michael Cole and Mick Foley.

Opening Match, U.S. Title: MVP vs. Matt Hardy.
MVP destroyed Matt's knee months ago, and now we're finally getting the blowoff. They actually do the intros in with both guys in the ring, which is a nice touch. MVP dives after the knee early, but Matt plays good defense. Matt starts pummeling him, so MVP bails. Matt follows him out and tosses him back in to stay on top. Matt blocks a charge and hits an elbow to the back of MVP's head. MVP blocks a moonsault with knees to the face. OUCH! MVP locks in a rope-assisted abdominal stretch, but Matt hiptosses out of it. MVP hits his Fireman's Carry press slam and hot shots Matt on the ropes. Matt blocks the Playmaker and goes up. MVP crotches him, but Matt counters to a Side Effect off the second rope. Matt sets up for the Twist of Fate, but MVP counters to a backslide with his feet on the ropes. Oh, but the ref catches him. Matt goes for another Twist of Fate, but MVP drives him into the buckle and boots him in the head. Matt teases getting counted out before diving back in. MVP kicks him in the head again. And again. Matt ducks the Yakuza kick, though, and finishes with the Twist of Fate at 11:26. Kind of disappointing, considering the build and that it was supposed to be a huge win. The match didn't have much of a storyline until the last few minutes. I'm not sure why they didn't build it around the knee injury, but they spent most of the match just trading moves. Finish was nice, though. **1/4

Matt gives his victory speech, which sounds a lot like the speech a real athlete might give until he turns back into a wrestler cutting a promo at the end.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero (w/Bam Neeley).
So if Kenny Dykstra is a play on Lenny Dykstra, is Bam Neeley a play on Cam Neeley? If we get Ron Elway or Ricky Mantle, I'm out of here. The bell rings, and Chavo is already doing better than he did at WrestleMania. Kane actually busts out Road Warrior Hawk's old hangman clutch. Kane overpowers Chavo, press slamming him and then whipping him over the top to the floor. Chavo jumps Kane on his way back in the ring, and wraps his leg around the post. Taz starts prodding Adamle for his announce skills. Neeley takes a cheapshot at Kane's legs. Kane tries to chokeslam Chavo off the top, but Chavo knocks him off and hits the frogsplash. Kane catches him on the landing, though, and finishes with the chokeslam at 8:50. Adamle inadvertently points out one the booking's sillier points, saying how great it is that Bam Neeley didn't get involved much. Then what good is he? Heel managers and "bodyguards" are there to interfere, even if they aren't always successful. I guess the idea is to build to Kane vs. Neeley because they're both big guys, but Neeley looks about as useful as Mae Young's nipples. **

Randy Orton has surprisingly little to say, which is probably a good thing because he's in his "huffing and puffing" mood tonight.

The Big Show vs. The Great Khali.
Michael Cole mentions that he wears a size nine shoe (in comparison to Big Show's 18EEEEE), and Foley says those shoes are smaller than the one's Coach left for him to fill at the announce booth. BURN! Lots of boring clubbering outside of a Crossface attempt by Khali. Show tries a bodyslam but collapses, so Khali grabs a nerve hold. Thrilling. Foley explains that the nerve hold will numb Show's arm so he can't use it, which would make it a great hold, but no one ever sells that aspect of the psychology. Show isn't much different, elbowing out of a surfboard and then bodyslamming Khali for two. Khali goes for the Tree Slam, but Show blocks and counters to the chokeslam at 8:03. Well, they're big. I'll give them that. This was not exactly the Colossal Jostle. 1/2*

In the back, Randy Orton interrupts John Cena as he's bonding with Jimmy Wang Yang.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista.
Your guest referee is el grande shit-disturber Chris Jericho. Shawn and Batista both tease their finishers, and Shawn bails out. Batista CRUSHES him with a corner clothesline, but Shawn takes him down into a short-arm scissor. Batista powers out, of course, but Shawn stays on the arm to keep the advantage. To the floor, Shawn shoves Batista into the post shoulderfirst, assuming the subtle heel role in the match. That sets up a hanging armbar and an elbow right to the shoulder. Awesome. Batista hits a clothesline with his good arm. He can't go for the Demon Bomb because of the arm, so he switches up to what looks like a Thunder Fire Powerbomb. Shawn slips out of it and rides big Dave down into the Crossface. Batista powers to the ropes, drawing boos from the crowd. He hits a sideslam for two, but Shawn comes back with the flying forearm. He kips up right into a spear, though. Shawn blocks a superplex and nails the Picture-Perfect Elbow. Batista counters Sweet Chin Music to a spinebuster and goes for the Demon Bomb. Shawn slips out of it but appears to land awkwardly. Batista goes to move in, but Shawn suddenly hits Sweet Chin Music for the win at 15:00. Jericho helps Shawn limp to the ramp where the other refs take over. Jericho seemed to realize, though, that Shawn was selling one leg and then the other. This was about what we expected, I think. Batista had the unenviable task of trying to maintain his babyface status while selling all of Shawn's offense. Plus, the finish gave them a little opening to continue the feud from all three angles. ***

In the back, Randy Orton and Triple H cut melodramatic promos on one another.

12-Woman Tag: Mickie James, Michelle McCool, Cherry, Ashley Massaro, Kelly Kelly & Maria vs. Beth Phoenix, Victoria, Natalya Neidhart, Melina, Jillian Hall & Layla.
Beth Phoenix womanhandles Michelle early on. Mickie gets a good pop for her hot tag. She plays face-in-peril for a bit. Natalya takes a cheapshot at Cherry, triggering a 12-woman brawl. When it settles down, Ashley hits the world's saddest huracanrana but takes a cheapshot to assume the new face-in-peril role. Everyone starts hitting finishers. Ashley gets a good spear in on Layla but screws it up by landing on her head and braining herself. Beth finishes her with the Fisherman's Buster at 6:32. Someone has to get Ashley out of there before she gets someone seriously hurt. She's athletic, but she's way too awkward now. *

World Heavyweight Title: The Undertaker vs. Edge.
Taker overpowers Edge and batters him around the ring. Mick Foley subtly tries to get "Death Sentence" over as a name for Undertaker's finisher. Edge hits a sliding dropkick, but Taker shrugs it off and hits the guillotine legdrop. Taker's injured back from his match with Batista acts up, though, and Edge is able to capitalize. He's the Ultimate Opportunist, you know. Edge spears Taker from behind and locks in a bodyscissors. The segues to a chinlock, but Taker powers out. The Snake Eyes sets up the big boot and an elbow for two. Taker goes up for the Old School Ropewalk Forearm, but Edge crotches him. Edge goes to the floor and picks up the title. Undertaker catches him, though, and tosses him off the top for two. Edge blocks the Tombstone by ripping off the top turnbuckle pad. Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Curt Hawkins runs down and blasts Taker in the back of the head with the title belt. Zack Ryder also interferes, but Taker just shoves Edge into him and goes for the Last Ride on the rebound. Edge counters to a sunset flip, but Taker locks in the Death Rattle to choke Edge out at 18:25. Taker leaves Edge in the hold well after the bell, causing him to cough up blood. Finally, he lets go, and Edge does the stretcher job. I never got the sense that Edge had a chance, despite him being on offense for so long, but most of the action was good. It didn't have the epic feel of the Mania match. ***

In the back, Randy Orton goes looking for JBL, but perpetual #1 contender CM Punk spies him and wishes him luck.

WWE Heavyweight Title, No DQ Elimination Match: Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena vs. JBL.
JBL boots Orton right in the head off the opening bell. Well, that'll get his attention. Orton goes to the floor to think things over, but Cena tackles him to a big pop. That looked pretty cool, actually. Cena pays for it, though, as he gets knocked off the apron and takes the Bret Bump into the announce table. That leaves Triple H alone in a two-on-one with JBL and Orton. Eventually, Cena gets back in, and they pair off. Cena hits Orton with the Sicilian Slice and applies the STFU. JBL considers booting Cena in the head, but he has nothing to gain from it, so he taunts Orton instead. HHH hops in and puts JBL in the Crossface. Funny. When Benoit used it, anti-smarks used to say it was a lame hold that didn't even look like it hurt. Now, EVERYONE is using the damn thing. It's the new Sharpshooter. The all work in the Tower of Doom Superplex spot. Cena wins a slugfest with HHH, but HHH breaks up the Five-Knuckle Shuffle with a spinebuster. Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but JBL distracts him just long enough for Cena to counter to the FU. Hunter slips out and goes for the Pedigree, but Cena backdrops him over. STFU to JBL! JBL taps at 10:32, but Cena leaves the hold on, so Randy Orton just kicks him in the head and pins him at 10:42. That leaves Orton vs. HHH. Big slugfest, won by Triple H. They take it to the floor where Orton whips HHH into the steps. Orton catapults him into the security wall and tumbles into the crowd. Hunter slugs his way back but gets hit with a stretch backbreaker for two. Orton slaps on the Ortonlock, which is the one place where a chinlock is meaningful. Hunter elbows out of it, but Orton catches him with a powerslam. Orton sets up for the RKO, but Hunter shoves him away. Hunter hits the high knee and a facebuster for two. To the floor, Orton grabs the steps and sets up for a piledriver, but Hunter slams him on the steel steps. Back in, Orton goes for the RKO, but Hunter shoves him into the ref. That allows Randy to hit the RKO, but he's slow to cover, and it only gets two. Hunter starts to stir, so Randy cues up the punt to the head. Hunter avoids it, though, and hits the Pedigree for the win after a false start. Hunter picks up another title at 28:12. The last 2/3 with Orton vs. HHH was excellent, and I look forward to the inevitable singles rematch between the two. Cena and JBL were there, presumably, just to make the match look more interesting on paper, and set up a #1 contender's match somewhere down the road. I did like the moment where JBL thought about saving Orton and then decided it really wouldn't be in his best interests. Sometimes, in multi-man matches, the wrestlers lose focus of the dynamic between their characters and just run through the spots, but these guys managed to work the story as well. Not as good as last year's 4-way, but still an admirable effort. ***1/4

The 411: Everything that I thought would be a hit was a hit outside of the U.S. Title match. Everything I thought would be a miss, missed big. Generally, the rule is three good matches and no bad matches make an easy recommendation. This show had the three good matches but also a lot of crap in the undercard. It started out bad and got progressively better, which is FAR better than the other way around, so I'll give it a recommendation.

Thumbs up.