The Dope on Smackdown 5.02.08

Posted by Michael O on 05.03.2008

This week Mark Henry takes on Nunzio and Finlay clashes with Julio Dinero! Some other stuff happens too.

Hello friends, welcome to the belated Dope, which was interrupted last night due to a friend surprising me with Tim & Eric Awesome Show tickets. Spaghet!, indeed.

Teddy Long is at the top of the ramp and for the first time in a while he's not pushing a wheel chair. He announces that all of Smackdown's titles are going to be defended TONIGHT!

We were live from Atlantic City with Michael Cole, who is in the ring and introduces us to our new Smackdown commentator...MICK FOLEY!

WWE Tag Team title match: John Morrison & The Miz(c) vs Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore

Not sure what Yang & Moore did to deserve a title shot, other than simply existing as a tag team but it's all good. We get the super special ring announcing and if this is the new protocol for title matches I am more than fine with it.

Miz starts hammering Wang (heh) Yang but Yang takes over with some high flyin' kicks, tags out and hits a suplex that is immediately followed by a cannonball from the outside apron courtesy of Shannon Moore. Moore gets a near fall off a legdrop but Miz regains control and Morrison is now in and on the attack.

Shannon hits a crossbody and manages to tag in Yang. Yang prevents a top rope assault from Morrison and some back and forth leads to Yang taking a face first drop off the top thanks to John.
Morrison controls Yang, your asian-cowboy-face-in-peril, with kicks, knees and a chinlock. Yang gets a two off a roll up but finds himself in peril once again as Mick Foley alludes to the fact that he and Yang both share an affinity for Christy Canyon. I have yet to ever bond with anybody over the fact that we've both whacked off to the same chick and I can't help but feel that I might be missing out on something.

Yang finally gets out of peril and Moore is a house of fire. Yang gets disposed of to the outside thanks to Miz as Moore gets 2 off a backslide. Morrison's cool spinning kick thingy sets up the moonlight drive and that's all she wrote.

I guess I can see why WWE wants to gloss over Nitro's humble, Tough Enough beginnings, but they might be missing some boat (if not THE boat) by ignoring the fact that their tag-team champs are both former T.E. contestants. Good match anyway.

John Morrison pinned Shannon Moore to retain the tag titles

Armando Estrada is our special guest ring announcer for the next match.

Colin Delaney vs Vladimir Koslov

The loser should be forced to get entrance music. Delaney gets thrown around, front face locked and kicked. Another kick sends Colin into the corner, where a comeback attempt leads to a press slam onto the turnbuckle from Koslov. That was cool in a I-like-to-see-people-get-thrown-onto-stuff sorta way. Anyway, Koslov ends it with a reverse DDT. Vlad has gone from destroying no-namers to destroying a some-namer, so that's progress I guess.

Vladimir Koslov pinned Colin Delaney

Mark Henry reminds Nunzio that he has a match with him tonight and that his name is Mark Henry.

Victoria & Natalya vs Michelle McCool & Cherry

Before the match we see footage of Nattie & Vic being a couple of Cherry pickers in the back. McCool comes to her defense, lame burns ensue.

Nattie & Michelle start out but after a small sequence Victoria is in and receives her share of alley oops and monkey flips. Cherry comes flying in with a cross body, but Victoria displays her super strength by kicking out from underneath Cherry and her enormous boobs. Victoria victimizes Cherry and tags in Nattie, who lays in with the clubbing blows. Cherry gets out of a sleeper with a jawbreaker and battles out of the corner. Nattie's efforts to prevent her from tagging in Michelle prove unsuccessful and McCool nails her with a series of dropkicks and a swinging neckbreaker. Michelle goes up top but Victoria is there to shove her off and Nattie picks up the win.

I had planned on being most sarcastic in my description of Cherry's offense due to some flack I got for dismissing her talents last week but I finally got to see her do more than just take a one minute beating and I definitely saw evidence of her in-ring abilities, which seem to be more than up to snuff, so there you go.
Natalya pinned Michelle

We take a look at the final moments of Edge/taker from backlash. Foreshadowing!

Mark Henry vs Nunzio w/The Big Show

Nunzio attacks to start with ineffectual kicks and punches. Henry throws him around, hits him with a headbutt before tossing him into the corner and hitting the world's strongest slam for the win. After the match Big show steps into the ring and Mizark hightails it. Show grabs a mic and tells Henry to pick on someone his own size which strikes me as more than a little hypocritical considering Show's mistreatment of Rey Mysterio a little while back.

Mark Henry pinned Nunzio

US title match: (c)Matt Hardy vs MVP

MVP takes Hardy to the corner and lays in with some punches to the midsection. Matt gets the better of him with headlocks and headlock takeovers. MVP tries for a german suplex but Matt is too fat. Hardy takes him down with a flying forearm and gets some more headlocks going. MVP gets himself on top of Matt and makes with the punches and kicks before finally settling in with a neck and chinlock. Matt gets a bulldog for and a neckbreaker for a pair of covers. MVP kicks Matt around some more but eats an elbow trying to set him up for the running kick. Matt uses the ropes to choke but fails to secure the win with a jackknife pin. MVP sends Hardy crashing to the outside as we go to break.

Back from break, with MVP mounted on Hardy and going to town again with the fists. He turns that into a chicken wing over the shoulder crossface which Hardy eventually gets out of and hits the side effect for 2. MVP wins a slugfest and makes with more punching and stomping. Hardy beats MVP off(!) out of the corner and hits a DDT from the top for 2. MVP levels Matt with the big running kick but Hardy grabs the bottom rope. MVP hits another kick to the head from outside and gets another 2. Back into the chin and armlock which Matt eventually battles out of and hits the twist of fate pretty much out of nowhere for the win. I dug this match. It wasn't the most exciting contest I've ever seen, but the heat on this feud kinda made everything they did meaningful and the finish was cool. I'm really hoping it doesn't end here. After all, what else is there for Matt or MVP to do for the next month or so that's so pressing? Epic feuds with Chuck Palumbo or Festus?
Matt Hardy pinned MVP to retain the US championship

Foley is in the ring, looking kind of nervous in an endearing way, and introduces us to Batista. Mick goes over the problems 'Tista has had with HBK and we take a look at the end of the Backlash encounter between the two. Batista still doesn't like the way Shawn does his thing, but he ain't making excuses. Foley calls attention to the potential controversy with Y2J. Mick asks if he thinks Shawn was faking it. The injury, that is. Batista says he hopes for Shawn's sake that he is hurt 'cause if he's not, he will be. That's all.

Jesse & Festus vs Hawkins & Ryder

Festus attacks to start, naturally, and after beating up on Ryder (or Hawkins maybe) for a bit, tags in Jesse. After unloading with some elbows and a Lou thesz press, Jesse does the face in peril shuffle for a while. Jesse finally gets the tag and Festusmania runs wild until Ryder hits him with a flying throat thrust, which causes Jesse to tag himself back in. Jesse goes up top, but misses a crossbody and falls victim to a swinging neckbreaker.

Ryder pinned Jesse

Finlay vs Julio Dinero

A third serving of squash? Am I watching Friday Night Smackdown or Saturday Morning Superstars?
Finlay did what Finlay does and finished it with the Celtic Cross. I'm starting to get burned out here. If you need more, you know where to find it.

Finlay pinned Julio Dinero

We take a little look at Undertaker's various choking victims over the last few months. You know, it now just occurred to me that The Undertaker isn't such a great role model.

World heavyweight championship match: (c)The Undertaker vs The Great Khali

Vickie wheels her ass out to announce that the match is off. If the audience was comprised exclusively of IWC members, Vickie would have gotten a Stone Cold sized pop for that one. Chokeholds are illegal in the WWE so from here on out "that move" is banned and if 'Taker ever uses it in a match again, he's fucked. Vickie, after really taking the scenic route to get there, finally manages to spit out the news that Undertaker has also been stripped of the title. Wow, gotta say I didn't see that coming. Rather, I didn't see it coming when I read it on 411 half an hour before Smackdown came on (THANKS BRAD!). Vickie wants Under to bring the belt to her, but he's not complying so she sends in Khali to get it, which causes 'Taker to lay it down in front of him, challenge style. A very cautious and hesitant Kahli goes to pick it up but gets booted in the head and hit with...uh, you, know, that move.

The Rmy runs in to nab the gold and that's our show.

I was definitely shocked when Orton lost the belt at Backlash and this one is even more out of left field to me. Really blows my theory the other week about how boring the world title scene gets in the aftermath of Wrestlemania, doesn't it? I gotta figure Taker wins his belt back in short order, but what happens in the interim? A tournament or battle royal, or some combination of the two, with ladders and ball gags? Ooops, wrong show.

Also, I found it a bit odd that they'd go with a night of champions type show since they'll be hyping one on pay-per-view in the very near future, but I'm not complaining as both title matches delivered solid entertainment and the end of the show was compelling at least. Everything else was boring or outright blew though.
Oh yeah, Foley seemed nervous as hell tonight, delivering a fine, if unremarkable performance though with the announcers seemingly under more scrutiny than they've ever been who could blame him. I have no doubt that once the butterflies subside Mick will be bringing the awesome from behind the booth.