411’s WWE Heat Report 05.11.08
Posted by Scott Slimmer on 05.11.2008
William Regal strikes again and ends Heat in the middle of our tag team main event…
Hey guys and gals, I'm Scott, and this is 411's ALL-NEW, ALL-DIFFERENT WWE Heat Report.
I've always prided myself on writing the Best Damn Heat Report on the Net, and part of being the best is continually striving to improve. So recently I was proud to debut a completely new format for the Heat Report. The most dramatic change was a drastic reduction in the length of the play-by-play. I loved writing in-depth, detailed reports of each match, but I completely understand that most readers would rather just get right to the highlights. So from now on I'm going to be presenting a more condensed Overview of each match in order to give you a clear view of the main events while skipping over some of the more minor details. However, in order to compensate for the abbreviated length of the Overview, I'm also going to be adding a Background, Analysis, and Rating for each match. The Background will provide a brief review of the recent events in the careers of each of the wrestlers involved in the match while the Analysis and Rating will allow me to give you my opinion on the quality and future implications of the match. Finally, I'll still include the Result, Length, and Best Spot in order to continue to provide the most complete coverage possible. Okay, enough with the boring stuff. Let's get to the wrestling.
Match 1: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & Super Crazy vs. Charlie Haas & Robbie McAllister
Background: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan and Super Crazy teamed together from time to time from October 2007 until January 2008 but seemed to have parted ways after a victory over The Highlanders on the 01.20.08 episode of Heat. Since then both Duggan and Crazy have found only mixed success in singles competition, so they'll both be looking to change their luck by returning to the tag team scene. Across the ring, Charlie Haas and Robbie McAllister both seem to be at low points in their WWE careers. Haas' recent luchador gimmick found only limited success and may have been put on the shelf indefinitely last week when Cryme Tyme sold Haas' luchador mask. Robbie was struggling in singles action while his partner Rory was sidelined with an injury, but things only got worse when he was caught on camera at TNA Impact. Since then his only on-screen action has been a devastating loss to JBL on Raw, and at this point it seems as though he's stuck in the proverbial WWE dog house.
Overview: Duggan and Robbie start the match, and Robbie takes control with a knee to the gut and a forearm shot to the back. Robbie chokes Duggan across the second rope, but Duggan fights back with a hip toss and a pair of running clotheslines. Robbie makes the tag to Haas, but Duggan catches Haas with a hip toss before applying an arm wringer and making the tag to Crazy. Duggan holds Haas in the arm wringer as Crazy hits a top rope double ax-handle to Haas' arm. Crazy applies an arm wringer and hits a sweet top rope springboard arm drag before catching Haas with a monkey flip out of the corner. Haas tries to back body drop Crazy over the corner and onto the ring post, but Crazy balances on his head on the top turnbuckle before floating over onto the apron. Crazy connects with a shoulder to the gut between the ropes and goes for a top rope flying cross-body, but Haas ducks causing Crazy to crash face-first on the mat. Haas punts Crazy in the ribs, makes the tag to Robbie, and holds Crazy as Robbie punts him in the ribs. Robbie connects with a double ax-handle shot to Crazy's ribs and hits a gut buster for a two count.
Robbie nails Crazy with a scoop slam before making the tag to Haas, and Haas connects with a rolling slingshot senton to Crazy. Crazy fights back with a barrage of forearm shots to Haas' head, but Haas retaliates with a shoulder to the gut in the corner. Haas hits the ropes, drills Crazy with a front kick to the face, and hits his trademark belly-to-belly suplex for a two count. Haas makes the tag to Robbie, and Robbie kicks Crazy in the ribs before locking in a reverse European head lock (i.e., a European head lock in which Robbie has his chest, instead of his back, facing Crazy). Crazy eventually fights out of the hold, but Robbie makes the tag to Haas and holds Crazy as Haas again kicks him in the ribs. Haas continues to kick Crazy in the ribs and then locks in a Dragon Sleeper, but Crazy again fights out of the hold and lays into Haas with a volley of forearm shots to the face. Crazy hits the ropes and goes for either a body scissors bulldog or a body scissors roll-up, but Haas catches him in mid-air with a Full Nelson. Great spot right there. Crazy once again fights out of the hold and levels Haas with an enzuigiri. Crazy makes the tag to Duggan as Haas makes the tag to Robbie, and Duggan levels Robbie with a single punch. Duggan hits a spinning scoop slam on Robbie that gets a two count before Haas makes the save. Crazy charges into the ring, knocks Haas to the outside, and takes him out of the equation for good with a second rope Asia Moonsault. Back in the ring Robbie connects with a head butt to Duggan's gut, but Duggan regains control with a big back body drop before hitting the Three Point Stance Running Clothesline for the three count.
Analysis: I suppose this was a passable match, but what was the point? All four of these guys are mired in mediocrity at the bottom of the card, and they're all most useful when putting over more prominent workers. I can only conclude that this was yet another petty attempt to punish Robbie for his indiscretion in Orlando, but what WWE needs to realize is that nobody cares. Just let the wrestlers wrestle, and leave the backstage politics backstage.
Result: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan defeats Robbie McAllister with the Three Point Stance Running Clothesline. Length: 6:52 Best Spot: Super Crazy's second rope Asai Moonsault Rating: *¼
Match 2: Snitsky vs. Phil Atlas
Background: Snitsky has been on a tear as of late with victories over "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Val Venis, and Super Crazy. He has been dominant in singles match on Heat over the course of the past month, and he'll be looking to build even more momentum in this match. Phil Atlas is a jobber. You may remember him as the poor schmuck that Vladimir Kozlov destroyed on Smackdown this week. Atlas will certainly be looking to rebound from that brutal loss with an upset win over Snitsky. But honestly… he's fucked.
Overview: Snitsky takes control early with a Big Boot to the chest, a clubbing forearm shot to the back, and a back elbow shot in the corner. Snitsky whips Atlas to the opposite corner and charges after him, but Atlas floats over causing Snitsky to slam chest-first into the top turnbuckle. Atlas goes to work with a volley of kicks to the back of Snitsky's legs, but Snitsky regains control and damn near decapitates Atlas with an absolutely brutal clothesline. Sntisky drops a trio of elbows down onto Atlas' chest before dragging him back to his feet, locking in a double underhook, and shakin' the shit outta the poor kid. Snitsky flings Atlas to the corner and charges towards him, but Atlas gets both boots up and plants them right in Snitsky's face. Atlas goes for a second rope flying cross-body, but Snitsky counters with a Big Boot in mid-air. Oh snap, that was sick. It wasn't quite as nasty as the Shawn Michaels / Shelton Benjamin mid-air Sweet Chin Music spot, but it was still hella impressive. Snitsky drags Atlas back to his feet, his the Pump Handle Slam, and gets the three count.
Analysis: Snitsky will never be a top tier Superstar, but I have to admit that he can put on perversely entertaining squash matches. I'm not at all convinced that squash matches like this will be enough to build Snitsky into a credible mid-carder, but that doesn't really matter as long as he continues to entertain in his current capacity.
Result: Snitsky defeats Phil Atlas with the Pump Handle Slam. Length: 2:30 Best Spot: Snitsky countering Atlas' second rope flying cross-body with a Big Boot Rating: *
Match 3: Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
Background: London & Kendrick and Cade & Murdoch are both former tag team champions, but currently they are two teams headed in opposite directions. Paul London & Brian Kendrick have been on a roll since WrestleMania 24 with two victories over Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch and an impressive non-title victory over World Tag Team Champions Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes. London & Kendrick recently lost a Number One Contenders Match to Carlito & Santino Marella, but it seems to be only a matter of time until they get their shot at another tag team title reign. Across the ring, Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch are teetering on the brink of disaster. Since WrestleMania 24 they've lost once to Cryme Tyme and twice to London & Kendrick. Murdoch took the fall in all three of those losses, and Cade is beginning to blame his partner for the team's recent lack of success. Cade & Murdoch need a win in this match in order to begin to rebuild their credibility in the tag team ranks and, more importantly, begin to rebuild the trust and respect between themselves.
Overview: Kendrick and Cade start the match, and Kendrick takes control with a standing drop kick followed by a snap-mare takedown into a head lock for a one count. Cade rolls Kendrick for a one count, but Kendrick rolls out and gets back to his feet. Cade makes the tag to Murdoch, so Kendrick bails to the outside to avoid the double team. Kendrick slides back into the ring, but Murdoch drives him down to the mat with a forearm shot to the back. Kendrick retaliates with a standing drop kick before locking in an arm wringer, making the tag to London, and holding Murdoch in the arm wringer as London hits a top rope Mushroom Stomp to Murdoch's elbow. Damn, talk about pin-point accuracy. I mean, a Mushroom Stomp to your opponent's back is one thing, but his elbow? That's hot. Anyway, London lands a kick to Murdoch's injured elbow and tries to whip him to the corner, but Murdoch puts on the breaks and instead whips London to the corner. London floats over onto the ring apron, connects with a shoulder to the gut between the ropes, and then lands a swank slingshot spear for a two count. Murdoch fights back with an arm wringer and a knee to the gut before going for a scoop slam, but London floats over and connects with a hurricanrana. London becomes distracted by Cade, and that give Murdoch the chance to level him with a back elbow shot. Murdoch makes the tag to Cade and they go for a double suplex, but Kendrick rushes into the ring to catch London. Kendrick hits the ropes, and London catapults him into a double drop kick that knocks both Cade and Murdoch out of the ring. Cade and Murdoch try to regain their composure on the outside, but London and Kendrick hit stereo suicide dives that level Cade and Murdoch as we head to a commercial.
We return from the break to find London and Cade back in the ring with Cade firmly in control. Cade pounds away at London in the corner and stomps a mud hole in him before making the tag to Murdoch. Cade whips Murdoch towards the corner, and Murdoch connects with a boot to London's skull for a two count. Murdoch locks in a rear sleeper, but London fights back to his feet. Cade makes the blind tag and drops an elbow down onto London's chest for a two count. Cade wrenches away on London's neck and transitions to a rear sleeper, but London again fights back to his feet and hits a jaw breaker to create some distance. Cade makes the tag to Murdoch just as London makes the hot tag to Kendrick. Kendrick hits a slingshot drop kick followed by a pair of flying forearm smashes, a standing drop kick, a spinning back heel kick, and a stiff enzuigiri that gets a two count before Cade makes the save. Murdoch makes the tag to Cade, and Cade connects with a sit-out spinebuster that gets a two count before London makes the save. Cade drags Kendrick back to his feet and goes for a scoop slam, but Kendrick floats over and makes the tag to London. London hits a springboard drop kick for a two count and then… THE FUCKING SHOW ENDS. No pin-fall. No submission. No disqualification. No count-out. No winners. No losers. THE SHOW JUST FUCKING ENDS. In terms of kayfabe, I suppose that we can blame William Regal and say that he ended the show much like he ended Raw two weeks ago. In reality, I'm guessing that somebody at WWE.com just screwed the pooch, thus making this Joey Styles' problem. Either way, it's a crappy way to end a hot tag match.
NOTE: Live reports from the show indicate that London & Kendrick went on to defeat Cade & Murdoch when Kendrick (or possibly London) rolled up Murdoch for the three count.
Analysis: This was a pretty good tag team match until, you know, it just stopped. But ignoring that little clusterfuck, the in-ring action was solid and the booking was smart. London and Kendrick were booked strong and given the chance to showcase their unique skills while the rift between Cade and Murdoch was further widened. WWE has clearly been trying to rebuild the tag team division since WrestleMania 24, and I'm always happy to see two real tag teams such as these get the time they need to put on a real tag team match. Of course, an ending would have been nice, but I get you can't have everything…
Result: No Contest (end of the match not shown) Length: 8:06 (shown, including commercial) Best Spot: London's swank slingshot spear Rating: *¾ (would have been at least ** with an ending)
Okay kids, that's it for this edition of Heat. Hope you had fun. Feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions. I'll see you back here next weekend.
