411's WWE Raw Report 05.26.08

Posted by Daniel Wilcox on 05.26.2008

A Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels rematch highlights a stellar edition of Raw. Oh, and there's something about a $1,000,000 giveaway too.

We get some America stuff for Memorial day.

Raw starts now! Pyro~!

Vince McMahon is on the tron. Last week, Regal got what he deserved. But are we getting what we deserve? We deserve the action, the excitement and the drama. And we deserve appreciation. And he will show us appreciation. He has an idea. He wants ideas from our Superstars too. Before the show is over, he will show us appreciation even if it means he has to do something that's never been done before in the history of the WWE.

Face Off~!
John Travolta and Nicolas Cage are here. Alternatively, Triple H is out. Shortly followed by Randy Orton. We've got the whole red carpet and podiums deal going on and JR and King put over the pair's Last Man Standing match from last October. Orton's new theme is actually a really good fit and for those that are still asking, it's called Voices and it's by Rev Theory, WWE's new favourite band (they did the Mania and One Night Stand theme and Ashley has appeared in one of their videos). I don't know whether it's the new music or the lack of championship gold, but Orton's posing again and I approve. T-Grish asks Orton what makes him think he can beat The Game on Sunday. Orton says that's typical. Why is it that people always downplay he is accomplishments. Fair counterpoint, Randall. How come no one can just say "Orton has beaten everyone there is to beat"? Sunday, the joke is over and the laughing will stop. Triple H says these people laugh at him because he's a… I don't know, they blanked it out. But Trips knows how good Orton is, more than Orton does. That's knowledge. That's why Orton always looks for the cheap way out. Every time he said how great he was, he looked like he was trying to convince himself. He sees Orton as a scared little boy in a man's world. If you want to be the best, you have to thrive on competition and you have to rise on the occasion. Orton wants a break. "You do not thrive on competition, Triple H." Someone becomes a threat, you either bring him close and make him your friend or you eliminate them. He uses Shawn Michaels as an example. He says Shawn can beat Triple H so Triple H keeps him close. Orton brings up Evolution now and it still could be, but Orton became the youngest champ in history and became a threat, so he tried to take Orton out. Trips says when Orton was in Evolution, all he and Ric did was make Orton realize he's potential. But once he got in the ocean, the sharks were his to deal with. When it comes to the WWE Championship… every man for himself. Trips says he's never going to walk away and it's the law of the jungle. Orton says at One Night Stand, he will prove once again that he is better than The Game. Triple H is pathetic and it'll e hard to say he's the best when Orton beats the hell out of him. They're nose to nose now and Orton will beat him until he can't get up and until Orton is the last man standing. Orton goes to leave. Trips has the mic and asks if that's it. He says the last word will happen this Sunday. It won't be spoken but it will be loud and clear. Either the Age of Orton continues or it'll be like the last seven months were all for nothing. At Last Man Standing, he will beat Orton within an inch of his life in the ring and leave him lying and walk to the back and when he does, the Age of Orton won't just be dead, it'll be like it never even existed. The Game leaves and they stare down.

That was some really intense stuff from these two and got me quite hyped for their match. I'll go as far as saying that that is one of the best promos of the year so far, though probably not topping some of the Flair/Michaels ones.

At One Night Stand it'll be Beth Phoenix vs. Melina in an I Quit Match! Really? Wow.

Jillian Hall vs. Melina

Jillian says Melina has no chance at One Night Stand. Jillian spears Melina and hits some rights. Melina gets caught with a kick and Jillian sends her into the corner and nails a handspring elbow and a neckbreaker. We get some hair-pulling now and a slam. Jillian chokes Melina in the ropes but Melina comes back with forearms and a quick 2 count. Jillian cuts her off but Melina comes back with a dropkick and a kick in the corner. Hair mare now, but Jillian kicks her in the head. Melina elbows out of a fireman's carry and rolls into a leg grapevine submission and Jillian taps.

Winner: Melina

Beth Phoenix stares Melina down from ringside.

Really? A Women's I Quit match? It could be fun but how much time will they get? That will be key I feel. This match was pretty sloppy, but Melina's very over as a face and has a decent new finisher. *

In the back, Vince wants to hear Chris Jericho's idea. Chris suggests a Michaels/Jericho rematch tonight I Raw. Yes please! Vince makes the match! Jericho tells Vince his theme song needs some updated and gives it a rock edge. Cryme Tyme are here now. Hilarity ensues. They take away Regal's pictures for an auction, auction, yeah, yeah…

Brian Kendrick and Paul London vs. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly

London and Rhodes start, lock-up, take over by Rhodes into a headlock. London eats a dropkick but tags out and Rhodes gets double-teamed. Kendrick gets a crucifix roll-up for 2 and Kendrick goes hard into the turnbuckles now. Holy in and it's clubbering time. Kendrick fights back with forearms but runs into a clothesline that gets a 2 count. Rhodes comes off the top across the arm and then goes for a reverse bear hug. Gotta love that psychology. Kendrick elbows out but the Sliced Bread is countered, but Kendrick avoids a crossbody. Hot tag both sides and London knocks Holly down with a pair of dropkicks and gets a standing head scissors. London gets caught but sunset flips Holly for 2. A heel kick gets 2 more. Kendrick and Rhodes get dumped, London skins the cat but gets caught with the Alabama Slam for 3!

Winners: Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly

Ted DiBiase is here! He congratulates them but their days as champs are numbered. He brings out his son, Ted DiBiase. Wow, he looks more like an Orton. Ever since he was a kid, he wanted to become a champion. He says he will become a champion too because everybody's got a price, but he is simply priceless. I like it. But, doesn't he need a tag partner?

The match was throwaway – they had a better one on Heat this week. But the post-match angle has potential and looks to help out the tag division, so I am very much in favour. *

We get a video package of Cousin Sal getting some training from Rodney the Piper. Piper hits the shit out of him. "Yeah, I can see how this hurts." Jimmy Kimmel is here. Piper clubs Sal. Kimmel calls out moves that aren't really moves while Piper beats on Sal. Actually, it's quite funny stuff. Sal wants a nap, so Piper throws the sleeper on him. Sal is out, so Jimmy draws on him with marker and they go get something to eat.

Mickie James is with Vince. They talk ideas. JBL interrupts. JBL discredit's her idea of sending to Divas to schools because it's like an escort service. JBL wants to give away merchandise – specifically cuttings of the One Night Stand mat with Cena's blood on it. Apparently, Cena is not Mickie's boyfriend.

Some troops send messages to their family and stuff.

John Cena and Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga and JBL

Cena and JBL start… until JBL tags Umaga. They slug it out and Cena goes for an early FU but Umaga elbows out of it. Umaga hits some measured strikes and Cena is groggy early. Crowd is very much pro-Cena. Cena avoids a charge but gets caught with Umaga's wind-up urange, which gets 2 as we head to break. Back from the break Cena gets a hot tag and fires off on Umaga. The Twist of Fate is countered but Hardy avoids a charge but gets shoved to the floor from the top rope. JBL takes advantage on the floor. That's how he likes it. Back in and Umaga hits a big splash for 2. JBL in now and he puts a beating on Jeff with clubbing blows and knees to the gut. JBL sends Hardy into the corner with velocity and then applies an abdominal stretch, complete with random leg bending. Hardy makes it to the ropes as JBL lets go of the hold. Boot to the head now by JBL and that's followed up by an elbow drop for 2. Jeff fights back and hits the Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere! The ref starts a count up but Jeff makes a tag. Clothesline to JBL… protobomb! Umaga takes a shot. You can't see me! Five Knuckle Shuffle connects! Umaga nails Cena from behind and Jeff got a blind tag. He misses the Swanton and eats a Clothesline From Hell for 3!

Winners – Umaga and JBL

That was a lot of fun. The ending was abrupt but they did a lot with the time and it was enjoyable. **1/2

In the back, Shawn Michaels doesn't see Vince doing anything decent. Vince wants to show his appreciation. And at the end of the night, even Shawn will have to give the Devil his due. They're really hyping this one, huh? It's going to have to be huge to not be a let down at this point.

The Denver Broncos are in the house.

We get clips of Raw in Mexico.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Lock up and break. They talk trash and Carlito goes low. Carlito misses his springboard elbow but counters a Mic Check early and hits a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Carlito works Kennedy over by choking him in the ropes, hitting a snapmare and working a neck vice. Kennedy works his way to his feet but gets tossed down and covered for 2. Kennedy comes back with a roundhouse kick and a clothesline. Green Bay Plunge connects and gets a near fall. Facewash now by Kennedy is countered into a snap powerslam. Carlito wants the Backstabber but Kennedy avoids it, charges into a back eblow, but hits the Mic Check out of nowhere for the win!

Winner: Mr. Kennedy

Katie Lea Burchill is here. She's great. She is not amused by what happened to Regal last week, and now Kennedy has an enemy. Paul Burchill strikes from behind and hits a neckbreaker. Burchill says Regal was a great man. Alright mate, he's not dead. Burchill finishes him off with a Curb Stomp.

Once again, the match was sloppy but the post-match angle was good stuff. I approve. *

This announcement is being billed as "epic" as opposed to "major." Color me excited, but outside of a new GM or the Draft, I don't see what else it could be.

Trevor Murdoch sings Vince's theme song to McMahon. Vince doesn't like it, but tells Murdoch to get everyone out into the arena after the next match.

Lawler and Ross hype One Night Stand.

Stretcher Match – Shawn Michaels vs. Batista
TLC Match – Edge vs. Undertaker
First Blood – JBL vs. John Cena
Falls Count Anywhere – Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga
Last Man Standing – Triple H vs. Randy Orton

We get highlights of the Last Man Standing match between The Game and Orton from last year as well as Backlash.

We get Memorial Day shout outs.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

I wait 5 years for a rematch, and then two come along at once. Go figure. Can Jericho get a win anytime soon, please? They circle and go into a collar and elbow tie-up. They work a couple of counterholds and side headlock takeovers and stand off to cheers for both men. Michaels goes to the arm but Jericho counters and gains control of Shawn's limb and wrenches it. Shawn gets a hip toss now but runs into a hard elbow from Jericho and that's going to sting. Jericho tries a springboard dropkick to the apron but Shawn avoids it and Jericho crashes and burns on the floor as we go to break. Back from the break, and Jericho has Shawn in a chinlock with a half nelson. Shawn elbows his way to separation and hits some chops, blocks a hip toss and catches Jericho with a backslide for 2. Both men up and Jericho hits a step-up enzuigiri for 2. Into the corner now and Jericho gets a couple of shoulder thrusts and the referee is all over Jericho here. Y2J chokes HBK out with a boot in the corner. Shawn counters Jericho's version of a bulldog by forcing him into the turnbuckles. Inverted atomic drop now by Shawn, followed up the flying forearm… KIP UP! Jericho catches and tires for the Walls but Shawn counters to a small package for 2. Both up and Jericho levels Shawn with a clothesline, but the Lionsault misses. Shawn up top… elbow drop misses! Jericho is poised and wants the Codebreaker I think, but Shawn blocks it by holding on to the top. The band is tuning up ever so slightly, Jericho ducks the kick and there's the WALLS OF JERICHO! It's locked in and Shawn crawls towards the ropes… and he has it. Jericho eventually breaks the hold. He puts the boots to Shawn and gets pulled away by the ref… Shawn feigns a kick and Jericho dodges it, and kicks Shawn out to the floor. Jericho locks the WALLS OF JERICHO in on the floor! The ref is counts both men out and that's bull.

Double Count-Out

Jericho continues the assault on the floor and reapplies the Walls. Jericho has a chair and wants to hit Michaels with it… but doesn't. Jericho offers a hand to pull Shawn up and Shawn takes it eventually. Jericho throws the chair down and walks away.

OK, so the ending wasn't ideal as the count was way too fast, but the story-telling was once again, terrific and this whole Flair/Michaels/Batista/Jericho saga has been great and tonight's instalment is no exception. Who really knows where they're going with this next? Great stuff all round, and the match was another fun one. ***1/2

Vince McMahon's Major Epic Announcement

This has to be huge. As Vince ordered, the entire roster is on the ramp way with no exceptions. Maybe Vince will announce that he is changing his music after all. Vince says he said he had an idea to show his appreciation for everyone here and everyone all over the world who watches Raw. He thinks we deserve new Superstars, new Divas, and new rivalries. In 4 weeks, there'll be a draft! But that's not all… it'll take a week to figure out the details, but it's all about the money. He says that each and every week, he will give away cash money… he wants to give away $1,000,000 every week. This is not a hoax. Each week, he will give away cash money… $1,000,000.

That's it? Really?

This show was going great, and while I'm glad to see the return of the Draft, I couldn't give a damn about this money giveaway. Whatever, Vince.