411's WWE Smackdown Report 05.30.08

Posted by Daniel Wilcox on 05.30.2008

Edge pays tribute to The Undertaker ahead of their TLC confrontation at One Night Stand!

Welcome to the SmackDown Report. I'm Dan Wilcox and I'll be your host for this evening.

Promo Time: Edge

Edge is on the tron and he says that throughout the course of the evening, we'll be seeing moments of Undertaker's career. Ironically, this is the last time we'll be seeing Undertaker on SmackDown and it'll also be the first time we see the Deadman as a guest on The Cutting Edge. "Thank you." You're welcome.

The opening video airs and we're under way.

Promo Time: Batista

Seriously, this guy's fashion sense is beyond horrendous. But he's very over tonight. He doesn't have a lot to say as usual, and the time for talking is long gone, so this'll be short and sweet. He's a man of his word. That being said, Sunday, he is going to hurt Shawn Michaels. He realizes some of the fans may have a problem with that, but this has gone way beyond personal. When he's done with Shawn, the winner of the TLC match, is going to have to deal…

Vickie Guerrero is out now. She has something to say. Major heat for her. It's great that Batista is looking to the future, but how does he know he's even going to be here; the draft takes place in 4 weeks. And by the way, since when did Batista have the right to challenge the champ. Batista goes to interrupt, but she cuts him off. His words won't mean a damn thing Sunday against Michaels and if he loses, not only does he look bad, but all of SmackDown looks bad. And as General Manager, she will look bad and she won't let that happen.

Dave says this has nothing to do with her. This isn't about her, Raw, SmackDown or ECW: it's about Big Dave and Shawn. He says he should worry about her man (and he uses that term loosely) and the possibility of him getting draft and the ass-kicking Undertaker is going to give him Sunday.

Hawkins cuts him off. Vickie deserves to be treated with respect, so he should shut his mouth. Batista wants him to come and make him shut his mouth. Vickie stops them and says Batista will fight when and where she tells him to. Hawkins and Ryder are a part of her family, so we'll ourselves a tag match: Hawkins and Ryder vs. Batista and a partner of his choosing.

So that segment was simply hyping One Night Stand and setting up a match for later tonight. The heat was good and the delivery was very good from all parties. It didn't drag and it served its purpose, so thumbs up all round for that.

Undertaker Moment – His 1990 debut.

Match No. 1: Matt Hardy vs. Elijah Burke (Non-Title)

They lock up and Hardy works a hammerlock until Elijah finds the ropes. Burke comes back with elbows but gets caught with a right and drilled with a clothesline for 1. They go to the corner and Elijah shows of that boxing background but Elijah gets caught with big shots from Hardy. Hardy gets telegraphed and caught with 4-Up. Burke gets a near fall on Hardy. He works a chinlock now to wear down the champ but Matt works his way to hid feet and fights out and tees off with forearms. Burke catches him with a forearm and they exchange brutal forearm shots. Elijah sits up on top but Matt slugs him to the apron. Elijah hangs him up on the top rope. He connects with a fist drop from the second rope for 2. Burke puts the boots to Matt and goes back to the chinlock. Matt fights out again and hits a side suplex but Elijah keeps the hold locked on. Another side suplex and the hold is broke. Hardy connects with a side Russian leg sweep and goes to the second rope and hits an elbow to the small of the back. Burke elbows out of the Side Effect, tries a back slide, countered, SIDE EFFECT! It gets 2 and Matt fires off with forearms again. Elijah counters the clothesline/bulldog combo, but Matt comes back with the TWIST OF FATE! That's all she wrote.

Winner: Matt Hardy via pin fall

Major goodness here. Both these guys are great and they did the best with the time they were given. **1/2

In the back, Eve Torres is with MVP. Nobody cares about Matt Hardy. MVP is still the most talented individual on the roster, but he skills aren't being utilized because of idiotic decision-making. Jamie Noble is here and says he's making excuses. He wants to give MVP advice; they're a lot alike. MVP disagrees; he's half-man, half-amazing and Noble is barely half-man. Noble disapproves and MVP tells him to get to steppn'. Noble says how bout he steps up in his face. MVP doesn't want to risk injury by fighting backstage, so Noble suggests they take it to the ring. Noble is close friends with Vickie Guerrero, so MVP should go get his bling off and get his gear on. MVP frowns upon Jamie's shenanigans.

A great combination of personalities here. Good stuff to get both men some face time and set up a match later on.

Match No. 2: Finlay w/ Hornswoggle vs. Chuck "Slash" Palumbo

This is a rematch from last week, and Chuck Plaumbo rides down looking like Slash. They lock up and go to the corner and Slash pummels Finlay with rights. KO Palumbo is dominating early. Palumbo boots Finlay in the corner and launches him with a belly-to-belly. Palumbo misses a charge and gets posted in the corner. Finlay takes him down with a fujiwara armbar, and Foley even calls the move. Finlay wrenches the arm and wraps it around the ring rope. Palumbo yanks Finlay to the floor and on the outside, Finlay sends Slash shoulder-first into the steps. Back in and Finlay hits a low dropkick for 1. Slash hits a charge in the corner but misses a second, only to catch Finlay with a massive big boot. That gets him a near fall. Mounted punches by Chuck. Cole points out that Palumbo would've been able to hook the leg and get 3 if it wasn't for the injured shoulder. Slash goes to the second rope and misses a senton, and Finlay clotheslines him to the floor. Dropkick through the ropes now by Finlay and they go to the floor again. Chuck whips Finlay into the apron and Horny gets yanked out. Finlay makes the save but gets caught with a little KO Palumbo. Chuck has a chain from his bike and drills Finlay!

Winner: Finlay via disqualification

Well, that was surprisingly good. Chuck's getting really fun to watch and Finlay is obviously good too. And they could probably have a fun Biker Chain Match too, so let's get that booked. **1/2

Chucky P rides off into the sunset.

In the back, Vickie Guerrero says tonight will be a handicap match as no one will want to team with Batista. Jamie Noble is here and asks for a match with MVP. He gets it and he thinks Vickie's tricking him. She yells at him to get out.

Undertaker Moment – Taker kills Mick Foley inside Hell in a Cell in Philly.

Match No. 3: John Morrison w/ The Miz vs. CM Punk

The Shaman of Sexy is here! In slow motion, baby! Needless to say, CM Punk does not do slow motion. The referee tosses Miz for no other reason than the fact that he's jealous of our tag champs. Not just my tag champs, but your champs too. Don't forget it.

As the tag champs protest this ridiculous decision, Punk catches Morrison with a schoolboy for 2. Punk shoots Morrison off and catches him with a knee, which turns Morrison inside out. Punk blocks a kick and connects with a nice spinning elbow to the head of Morrison, but Punk then gets caught with a kick from the apron. Morrison hits a jawbreaker, but Punk gets a double-leg takedown and mounted punches but gets levelled and Morrison gets 2. Mounted forearms by Morrison now and he gets 1 off of that. Morrison locks in a full nelson now, but Punk counters into a fireman's carry and he wants the GTS, but Morrison elbows out and Punk hits a leg lariat. Morrison gets taken into the corner now and Punk connects with the running knee, and adds the bulldog. That gets 2. Morrison ducks a clothesline but gets caught with a snap powerslam. Apparently, John Morrison uses his abs to grate cheese, whereas Mick Foley likes to rub cheese over his doughy belly. Morrison gets a kick to the back of the head and gets 2 on Punk. Morrison tries a suplex but Punk slips out the back door. He sets Morrison up for a inverted suplex but dumps Morrison on his shoulders and nails the Go2Sleep for the win.

Winner: CM Punk via pin fall

These two men are awesome, and Punk finally got a clean win. They didn't have a lot of time but they worked in some fun spots and the counter in the finishing sequence was swank as hell. **1/2

Dave says he doesn't need a tag partner. Vickie is out and asks where his partner's at. Dave points out that he doesn't need a partner, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have one…

Match No. 4: The Rated R Roadies (Hawkins and Ryder) vs. Batista and Big Show

Dave and Hawkins start. Hawkins gets a side headlock and fires off but runs into a back elbow and gets a boot in the back of his head. Batista takes Hawkins to the corner and does the Show's open hand chop to the chest. In comes Show to show him how it's done. Ryder in now and he's not happy about it either. Show palms Ryder into the ring and chops him. Head butt to Ryder. Dave in and gets caught with a cheap shot. Dave chases Ryder around the ring and Hawkins gets a blind tag and jumps Dave from behind and they trap him in their corner and beat him down. Dave makes his own save and hits a clothesline in the corner, and another big clothesline for Ryder. Batista gets telegraphed, Hawkins tries a cheap shot but Batista knocks Hawkins off the apron. SPINEBUSTER to Ryder. Hawkins comes off the top and gets caught by Show. Stereo Batista Bomb and Choke Slam ends it.

Winners: Batista and Big Show via pin fall

Well that was fairly pointless. I suppose it was enjoyable if you like Show and Batista, and if you like seeing big guys beat the crap out of smaller guys. For the fun value, I'll go with… **1/4

Undertaker Moment – His 2007 Royal Rumble win.

From The Vault – John Cena vs. Chris Jericho (Vengeance 2002). I predict that this Cena kid will be a star someday.

In the trainer's room, Cherry has a phat bruise around her eye from last week. Maryse is here and she says her ankle hurts from when she kicked the crap out of Cherry last week. Oh, bitchy!

Match No. 5: Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Jamie "Why You Violating Me?" Noble

They lock up and MVP beats on Noble in the corner. Noble gets a drop toehold and works the leg, and knots up the thigh, MVP catches Noble with a forearm to the gut and sends him up for a freefall slam. Big knees to the gut now by Porter and he gets 2. Noble gets sent chest-first into the corner and MVP talks trash. MVP chokes Noble out now and he gets admonished. Half nelson by MVP now and he attacks the ribs of Noble. MVP applies an abdominal stretch now, releases it, gets Noble up in a fireman's carry and tosses him. Noble comes back though with a dropkick to the knee. Knees to the head now by Noble, and he catches MVP with an enzuigiri. Noble hits a cannonball in the corner and goes up top and hits a knee to the back of the head for 2. MVP dumps Noble ribs-first across the top rope and nails a big kick to the skull and that's over.

Winner: MVP via pin fall

I'm a big Jamie Noble fan, but I'm a bigger MVP fan, and this should have been little more than a squash to build MVP back up. He's a candidate to be drafted I feel, and he's simply going to be treading water for a while, so he should be kept strong and this was too competitive for me. Regardless, it was a decent little match and they worked hard. *3/4

Undertaker Moment – Taker beats Batista at WrestleMania 23

Match No. 6: Shannon Moore vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Yeah, major squash-age here, Moore tries to come off with a crossbody but Kozlov squats him away. Moore gets tossed onto the top rope and booted. He fights back with rights and goes to the top, but Kozlov pulls him off and tosses Shannon. Kozlov hits his inverted DDT variant and we're done.

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov via pin fall

I like this guy, but I've seen enough of the squashes. Can we get him in a rivalry, please? NR.

Match No. 7: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse w/ Deuce and Domino

Mick Foley does The Beatles! Winner! They lock up and McCool gets a takedown. Lock up again and McCool gets a fireman's carry takeover. Michelle gets a hammerlock takeover into a cover for 2. Michelle rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Maryse in the face for 2. Maryse hits a couple of forearms and chokes Michelle in the corner now. Maryse runs into a big boot and Michelle goes after Domino who's on the apron. That allows Maryse to get a chop block and she applies a single leg Boston crab and Cherry is out now. That allows Michelle to roll through the crab and lock in her Brazilian hell hook for the submission.

Winner: Michelle McCool via talent

Yeah, can we get McCool drafted to Raw please, because not only is she beautiful, she's also really smooth in the ring and brings something different to the table. Beth's powerful, Mickie's "spunky", Melina's generic and Maria's, um, crap. Michelle's at least as good as Mickie James in my view and if they are serious about building a proper division over there, they need McCool to be the new Trish Stratus that they're still looking for. This match was hampered by Maryse who is still awful, worse than Kelly Kelly and Maria even, but it was made passable by Michelle. *1/4

Undertaker Moment – Edge cashes in Money in the Bank on Taker in May of last year.

The Cutting Edge with Special Guest, The Undertaker

Edge always has the best shirts. He should give Big Dave some fashion tips. Despite what Michael Cole says, Edge has been in all but one of the TLC matches (the 2002 one on Raw Roulette), and his record is 3-2; hardly "impeccable."

And for those who complain about that MMA hold not having a name, maybe that's deliberate because (kayfabe) the move is not allowed in WWE. So there you go, stop complaining, people.

Edge says that Taker has been a dark cloud for over a year when they've battle for the title, which is hung above the ring. There's also a ladder, table and chair set up in the ring. Edge goes over the rules and stipulations of the TLC match, which we al ready know. Edge says this isn't a stipulation where if Taker loses, he goes away for a while and then gets drafted to another show; if he loses, he's gone, finished, done. Edge says he's confident because he has experience. He's been playing tribute to Taker's career all night, but he has footage of his own. He says it shows experiences of Taker and Edge in TLC matches. He plays Taker's vid… oh, nothing plays, because he hasn't been in any TLC matches. Yes, silly you, Edgster. Edge has come to set the standard for what a TLC match is, and has defined TLC matches. We get Edge's TLC highlight reel now. Edge says the bets part comes this Sunday. But here's the man who's career is over come Sunday…

Taker is out now and in the ring. They circle the ladder. Edge is glad he came. He knows this must be tough for him as it's his last SmackDown appearance. And he knows he can't be comfortable with all these tables, ladders and chairs, so he wants to bring something down to make him feel more at home.

La Familia wheel out a casket. Taker goes to the floor and takes out La Familia. The numbers catch up to Taker though and they beat him down. Taker fights back and it's chaos. Hawkins gets sent into the steps and Chavo almost gets chokeslammed on the casket, but Edge nails Taker in the back with a chair. Edge KILLS Taker with a chair shot the skull. Chair to the back! La Familia put the boots to Taker and throw him into the ring. Inside, Edge drills Taker with a chair again and they roll him into the casket. They shut it and Hawkins and Ryder sit on top. Edge says to get used to it because after this Sunday, his career is dead. Edge climbs the ladder and says it symbolizes the legend of Edge and him becoming the new World Heavyweight Champion. Lights out… gong… Taker's on the ladder! Taker shoves Edge off onto Chavo and Bam Neely. Taker boots Hawkins to the floor and goozles Edge. Ryder nails Taker from behind and Edge bails. Taker has Ryder… LAST RIDE THROUGH THE TABLE!

We get the final stare down and Taker poses to close out the show… for the last time?

That was a terrific final segment. A great promo by Edge to hype the match, and the confrontation was a lot of fun, with the image of Taker suddenly appearing at the top of the ladder being a highlight.

This was a really fun edition of SmackDown. Many angles were advanced, there was a good amount of in-ring action and the final segment was really well done. Overall, a good hype show for One Night Stand and there was nothing actively bad, so thumbs up all round.