411's AWA on ESPN Classic Report 07.14.08

Posted by Randy Harrison on 07.15.2008

Paul E. Dangerously gloats about orchestrating the attack on Tommy Rich, while the AWA Television Title tournament plods on for another show...


411's AWA On ESPN Classic Report





AWA Championship Wrestling

Larry Nelson welcomes us to the show and pimps a big main event that he wants to keep a surprise for all of us great wrestling fans before mentioning that we're going to get a two-ring battle royal in this week's Mat Classic segment. He gets to the fan of the week deal and she'll be getting a Ninja Star Wars game for her efforts. Lucky bitch.


Match One:
Bryan Costello and Frankie DeFalco vs. Alan West and Mitch Snow

The jobbers don't even get an introduction, which should tell you that they're not even the good kind of jobbers. Costello and West start things out and West goes to an arm-wringer off of a lockup and he whips Costello into the ropes for a big hip toss into an armdrag takeover and Costello leans out of the ropes to break the momentum. Interesting looking armbar-style takeover now from West and Costello's had enough of that and goes to the eyes. He goes for a back bodydrop but West cartwheels away, dropkicking DeFalco off of the apron before Snow comes in to dropkick Costello in the back, right into a slam from West. Another armdrag follows for West and Costello rolls out to the floor for a breather. It seemingly works as Costello gets a side headlock but he gets whipped into the ropes and, after a blind tag, West punches him in the gut and Snow follows with a kneelift. Side headlock from Snow and Costello just pushes him into his corner, allowing DeFalco to get the tag in and work on Snow in the corner. Irish whip from DeFalco but West runs over and uses his body to block it and Snow struts out and blocks a right hand, firing a few of his own before he hits a big dropkick. Tag to West and he hits a belly-to-belly suplex for a two-count but picks DeFalco up to tag in Snow. Snow comes off the top with a sunset flip, barely getting over West and DeFalco but he manages to get him over for the 1-2-3!!

Winners: Alan West and Mitch Snow (pinfall, top rope sunset flip)

Match Analysis: And yet ANOTHER attempt to re-create the Midnight Rockers begins. The funny thing is that they already had one team in DJ Peterson and JT Southern that were trying to go that way, but I guess they figured that they'd have a back-up for the back-ups just in case or something. Snow was floundering and going nowhere as a singles star and West was still too green to do anything good on his own, so I guess by putting them into a team Verne did me a favor, confining their dual suckiness into one match.

The AWA notebook runs through the tag team rankings with The ORIGINAL Midnight Express up top, followed by DJ and JT, Kevin Kelly and Nick Kiniski, Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee and The Nasty Boys. That's not a lot of talent there.


Match Two:
Jim Evans vs. Dick Slater

This is announce as Slater's AWA debut and he has Curt Hennig making his way down to the ring with him before heading to the back again. Slater's over-exaggerated Funk-isms are pretty funny to watch as he hotfoots his way into the ring. They go to a lockup and Slater hits a hard forearm shot with Evans in the ropes and then throws him through the ropes to the floor. We here about how he's fresh from the WWF and how he's come to the AWA for competition, but you know how credible that is. Go-behind and a front facelock from Slater, riding him amateur-style before moving to a hard chinlock. Spinning neckbreaker from Slater now and he gets an elbow to the back of Evans' neck before stomping on him and flinging him out to the floor again. Slater hits a hard headbutt as soon as Evans gets back into the ring before peppering him with jabs and dropping him with a big elbow. He tries for a slam but Evans gets a small package for two, angering Slater into beating him up some more. Slater tries an Irish whip but it gets reversed and he holds onto the ropes as Evans tries a dropkick, sending him crashing to the mat. Slater loads up a HUGE right hand and then goes up to the second rope for a big forearm/elbowsmash that gets him the three-count.

Winner: Dick Slater (pinfall, second rope elbowdrop)

Match Analysis: Just here to introduce Slater to the AWA crowd and to put over that he was a WWF and NWA guy that has come to the AWA for the COMPETITION!! CAUSE WE WRESTLE!! WE'RE NOT HYPE!! YOU'LL NEVER SEE US PUTTING SOMEONE IN A DR....wait..we did that last week? Uh..nevermind. The match was nothing to write home about and honestly didn't do much for me.

It's birthday time on the AWA program and I guess Oliver North and Jack O. Lantern are having birthdays this week. What the fuck, are they even trying anymore? I guess they figure no one's paying attention anyhow, but it's still really lame. I can just picture Verne guffawing away in the truck, trying to get one of the producers to write silly names.

Verne: "Come on, wish a happy birthday to I.P. Freeley, it'll be GREAT!!"
Producer: "Verne, are you alright?"
Verne: "The name on the marquee says WRESTLING asshole,I know exactly what I'm doing!! Look at how well business is running. Now I want to say Happy Kwanzaa to Oliver Clozoff, how do I enter that into this crazy electric machine."


Larry Nelson's back and plugging more house shows, including giving a shout-out to his favorite Canadian city, Winnipeg!! Hell yeah!! He brings in DJ Peterson and JT Southern and asks DJ about his title shot with Curt Hennig. Peterson talks about the finish and how he doesn't think that slamming someone on a chair is wrestling. He says that sooner or later his number's going to come up again and that he's going to kick Hennig's ass when he gets the chance. JT gets asked about Paul E. and the telephone and Southern says that he's sacrificed so much for his chance to be a world champion and kind of rambles on before saying that the phone is going to be Dangerously's shortcoming. Ugly AND he cuts a terrible promo. What in the hell did Verne see in this guy anyhow?


Match Three: Mat Classic
Two-Ring Battle Royal

Larry Nelson and Ray Stevens introduce the bout with Nelson talking about how the country was in 1974 when this bout took place and then asks Stevens about the wrestling business then. Stevens says that it was an exciting time back then when he was wrestling all across the country and all over the world, defending his tag team titles with Nick Bockwinkel. They throw it to the battle royal and we see some of the participants including Sailor Art Thomas, Superstar Billy Graham and even Ray Stevens, sporting a rather impressive pair of muttonchops. Mad Dog Vachon, Cowboy Bob Ellis, Nick Bockwinkel, Ivan Koloff, Pepper Gomez, the names go on and on. The action finally starts and we only see the action in one ring and since it's 8mm footage, there are WAY too many cuts to call any action. It's just the usual battle royal punching and kicking though as Stevens says that the winner in each ring of the battle royal would end up wrestling each other to determine who was the utlimate winner. The final five in the ring end up being Graham, Gomez, Bockwinkel, Stevens and Wilbur Snyder. Stevens eliminates himself while charging at Wilbur Snyder against the ropes and the faces and heels pair off and we pan back to see that someone has already won the battle royal in the other ring as Gomez and Snyder ram the heels' heads together. Bockwinkel and Graham gang up on Wilbur Snyder and send him flying out to the floor before turning their attentions to Pepper Gomez. Gomez fires back and works over both men but Graham shoves Bockwinkel and Gomez over the ropes to win his ring's portion of the battle royal. They talk a little more about the battle royal and send it to a commercial before we get to more mat action!

I don't even bother with putting a winner because they claim that Pepper Gomez won but that would be physically impossible. It looked like someone in an Olympic singlet on the other side of the ring so I'm thinking maybe it was Kenny Patera and Billy Graham that won their respective rings. Either way, we didn't even get to see them hook-up to decide the real winner so it while it was cool to see the footage, it was ultimately a waste of time.


Match Four:
Mike Richards vs. Tommy Rich

Rich looks ready for action and the bell rings to get things underway. Rich gives Richards a clean break off of the ropes and they hit another lockup with Richards getting a go-behind before they separate. Side headlock from Richards and Rich tries to fight him off, shooting him into the ropes before hitting a big hip toss and an armdrag takedown into an armbar. Richards shoots Rich off the ropes now but eats a soulderblock and another after a criss-cross sequence and Rich takes Richards back down with a side headlock. Richards back to his feet and he pushes Rich into the corner, trying to throw a cheapshot but Rich blocks it and pops Richards one in the face before taking him over with a drop toehold. Front facelock from Rich and Richards pushes him back into the corner and gets a cheapshot to the gut, firing Rich up for a bunch of right hands to the head and body. Irish whip into the corner by Rich and he snap mares Richards out of the corner, right into a reverse chinlock. Richards makes the ropes and gets the break, stalling for a minute to try to slow Rich down. Rich spits on him or at him and tries to goad Richards into a fight, ending up taking a kneelift and a hard elbow to the back of the head before he goes to the eyes. Guess that spitting didn't work out too well did it Tommy? Rich gets a boot up in the corner and stops Richards in his tracks, following it up with a second rope elbow and a quick kneelift before they do a rope-running sequence into the Thesz press and Rich gets the pinfall!! Mike Tenay looks bored to tears in the front row. I know your pain Mike, believe me.

Winner: Tommy Rich (pinfall, Thesz press)

Match Analysis: Eh. Rich's offense is so bland it makes it hard to get behind him unless he's in there with someone great. Richards isn't great so this one pretty much sucked a dick. Ironic considering Rich's finisher.


Match Five:
Pete Sanchez vs. Adrian Adonis w/Paul E. Dangerously

Dangerously introduces him as "Tommy Rich's favorite wrestler" and he comes down to the ring with pink hair and his eye make-up that he wore during the WWF run. Sanchez tries to get the crowd behind him and goes for a lockup but Adonis just pushes him into the corner for a clean break. Another lockup and Adonis gets a couple of boots in and a HARD chop before hitting an elbow to the head off of the ropes. Irish whip into the ropes from Adonis and he hits a shoulderblock that drops Sanchez like a bad habit. Sanchez with a couple of shots into Adonis' pregnant gut, but Adonis just absorbs them in his flub and knocks Sanchez down with a big right hand for a two-count. BIG back bodydrop from Adonis off of an Irish whip and he gets a rake on the back before snap maring Sanchez over. He backs off to the ropes and hits a BIG FAT SPLASH on Sanchez. GOODNIGHT IRENE IS LOCKED IN!!! Sanchez is out cold!!! The referee calls for the bell and Adonis jaws with the front ro...THERE'S ANOTHER BIG FAT SPLASH!!

Winner: Adrian Adonis (submission, Goodnight Irene sleeperhold)

Match Analysis: Adonis squash, schizo-ing back and forth from Adorable Adrian to Ass-kicker Adonis. Kind of weird to see him go between the two, sometimes in the same motion and was essentially here to get Adonis on TV after his big angle last week and allow for some interview time for Paul E. after the match to keep the heat on.

More house show pimpage from Larry Nelson and here comes Paul E. and he talks about how everyone in wrestling is talking about how Adrian Adonis put Tommy Rich in a dress. Paul E. talks about how the entire Dangerous Alliance went to a party in North Hollywood and everyone was congratulating them for what they did to Rich. Um, Paul? I've been to North Hollywood and unless it's gone WAY down hill in the past twenty years, that place doesn't look like it would sustain much of a party. That is a rough looking part of town, let me assure you. Apparently Robin Leach was there as was Billy Crystal and Dangerously takes advantage and starts rattling off terrible impressions. He says that what they did has never been done to a former World Champion before and that even Adrian's friends thought it was "pretty nathty". Nelson's eye roll when Paul E. starts talking in the lisp is TREMENDOUS!! He says that they've set the wrestling world on fire and proven that you don't mess with The Dangerous Alliance.


Match Six:
Jerry Blackwell vs. Kevin Kelly w/Madusa Miceli and Nick Kiniski

Apparently, this is a first round match in the Television Title tournament. Ray Stevens goes through the convoluted tournament structure again and the two big men lock horns in the mdidle of the ring with Kelly pushing Blackwell into the turnbuckle and giving him a clean break before hitting some poses. Another lockup and Kelly shoves Blackwell off into the corner, giving us another posedown before drinking up some adulation from Kiniski and Miceli. Blackwell gets a kick in the gut and rams Kelly into the top turnbuckle before headbutting Kelly through the ropes to the floor. He gives us a little chub posedown and tells Kelly to bring it back into the ring. Kelly gets back in and offers up a handshake but Blackwell's not buying, pulling Kelly into a knee to the gut and Irish whipping him in for a HUGE shoulderblock and Kelly rolls back out to the floor. Blackwell does more posing and hamming it up in the ring and Kelly has a little confab session on the outside with his crew before rolling back into the ring. Blackwell offers up a handshake but Kelly gets the knee this time, hammering away with some forearms against the ropes before he Irish whips Blackwell into the ropes for a BIG reverse elbow. Kelly gets a two-count off of that and rams Blackwell into the top turnbuckle a couple of times before Kelly PICKS HIM UP AND BODYSLAMS HIM!! HOLY SHIT!! He drops an elbow for another two-count and then hits a hard forearm to the back of Blackwell. Right hand tot he gut from Kelly but Blackwell fires back with rights of his own. Kelly comes off the ropes with a big right hand and then Irish whips Blackwell in for a big clothesline. Blackwell ducks it and drops Kelly with a big clothesline of his own, pulling Nick Kiniski into the ring as he was up on the apron. Blackwell works over Kiniski and rams his head into Kelly's and the referee is calling for the bell. Blackwell works over Kiniski in the corner but Kelly gets a HARD knee to the kidneys and they both start to beat down Blackwell. Blackwell gets a pair of headbutts to make his own save and the referee heads over to the announce table and says that he's thrown the match out.

Winner: None (double disqualification)

Match Analysis: Kelly was a horrible worker and Blackwell was near-death at this point, so it was about what you would expect. I don't know how anyone is supposed to get ahead in this godforsaken tournament when no one gets a clean finish over anyone, but that's beside the point I suppose. The match had its moments like when Kelly managed to heave Blackwell up and slam him, but those moments were few and far between. You could see from a mile away that Kiniski was going to get involved and that sucked a lot of the excitement out of the near-falls for me.

Larry Nelson breaks down the match we just saw and talks about another fan of the week, leading me to believe that this is two episodes edited into one. Nelson talks about the chance he had to interview some Elvis impersonator and pushes the impersonator's shows at the Showboat before sending us off and asking us to come back next week, right here on ESPN. What an odd way to end the show.



Final Thoughts

Not a single redeeming thing on the show from top to bottom. The opening tag was terrible just beacuse Mitch Snow was in it, the Slater match was heatless and dull, the Rich match sucked, the Adonis match was too short, and the Kelly/Blackwell match had two of the worse workers in the company. How the hell did Verne think that this was the way to turn the corner? Paul E. saves the day with a solid promo as always, but really when a forty-five second interview spot is the highlight of your show, you know that your promotion is in a sad fucking state. Thumbs down on this one and let's flush it before we move on to the comments.



Fun With Comments


From Shiksa With Chutzpah:
"WOW!! Paul E. Dangerously, his wrestlers and their angles are the most watchable part of these shows for me. I can't be alone in thinking that. "

Yes, he and his stable are actually the best part of the show right now outside of the usual goodness from Hennig and Zbyszko. This again leads to my point that the AWA was fucked because they didn't have a decent face to save their lives once Bockwinkel left. All there was left was Greg Gagne, an aging, broken-down Jerry Blackwell and bland guys like Tommy Rich and when the promotion is full of heels with no strong faces to stand up to them, the intrigue is gone and no one cares.


From A Rat Riding ona Piece of Poop:
""It looks like I'm picking up the UWF shows, as well as the NWA Wrestling Showcase show"

Yay! Herb Abrams goodness! AWA reviews were just warming up for the Abrams UWF! "

Yeah, that's exactly what they were. Honestly, I think I must be a masochist for agreeing to subject myself to things like this. Either that or just absolutely greedy when it comes to getting attention in the wrestling zone.


From Guest. :
"You know, I said it before, and I'll say it again: Verne Gagne is the most progressive promoter of all time. Now, we can add in overly convoluted tournaments to his mix. It'd be over two decades before TNA would bring those out the mothballs. Go Verne! "

There is a long history of convoluted and shitty tournaments in wrestling, from TNA to the NWA, to any number of smaller promotions. I think that the problem is that people try to get too cute with things most times and forget that wrestling at its best is also wrestling at its most simple. Anyone doubting whether Verne truly was behind the Team Challenge Series need look no further than the ricockulous scoring system for this tournament.


From Rob:
"Actually, the NWA would have their own convoluted tournament pretty soon after this - Starrcade '89. Tournaments should be very simple - you draw up brackets, and if you lose, you're out. Period.

I too was hoping that Zbyszko would cripple Mitch Snow, or at least put him out of wrestling for a while. Snow just has jobber written all over him. I'd rather watch Tony Leone or Dennis Stamp.

Adonis vs. Rich is just begging for an old school, bloody cage match. "

I don't think Rich could ever do a cage match that would do justice to his work with Buzz Sawyer in Atlanta, but it could have been a fun bout. The AWA tended to save the cage matches for their huge shows and since we were a ways off from one of those types of runs, either on house shows or for the one big stadium shows, the cage match was never meant to be. Shame since it could have been a nice blow-off for the whole thing.


From Brian - Pittsburgh:
""Adonis vs. Rich is just begging for an old school, bloody cage match."

Instead we will get a TV main event in a few weeks of shows (in Dec of 1987) that is actually parted of the oft imitated, never duplicated TV Title Tournament.

BEST TOURNAMENT EVER!!! - I am definately kidding. "


Finally from Dave:
"So is it me or does Lance Allen look like Opie Cunningham on roids? Oh and before I forget I know I don't make fun of people's grammar(since I'm terrible) but did Larry Nelson actually say "keepen"?

As for "Tame Ice" Tommy Rich it could be worse. He used to do the Thesz press so it basically looked like he was having sex with the other guy. (I wish I was kidding about that.) "

Oh no, he still does the Thesz press on these shows, as evidenced by the match above. As for Larry Nelson's grammar, he was probably sloshed so it ended up sounding kind of slurred. I don't blame him though cause I'd drink too if I had to deal with that shit week in and week out. Actually I have to deal with it on a nightly basis. Why the fuck am I not drinking?!?


That's it for the comments and the report folks, I'm off to fix myself a scotch on the rocks and I'll see you all here tomorrow....unless I get too drunk in my own AWA self-pity. Oh, and the scotch too. Later.