411’s TNA Impact Report 7.31.08
Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.31.2008
No Wacky TNA Title of the Week, so I’ll go with BEER MONEY RULES THE WORLD!
TNA Impact Begins…NOW!
-Booker and Sharmell are in the PIMP locker room, and promise Samoa Joe a tour of his six sides of steel later tonight. Booker will also invite a special friend tonight, JB asks if it is Sting and Booker doesn't say anything. Booker and Sharmell drink champagne, and kick JB out. HIT THE BRICKS LOSER!
-The opening video package is footage from the TNA Video game, no wacky title of the week.
-The ring intros are using some video game footage as well. Not a bad way to hype the video game.
For a Tag Title Shot at Hard Justice: Christian Cage and Rhino vs. Beer Money Inc. (Robert Roode and James Storm) w/Miss Jackie
Roode and Rhino to begin. Shoulder blocks by Rhino, blocks a hip toss and gets a clothesline and cover for 2. Wristlock, tag to Cage and they double-team Roode with a double hip toss. Cage to the 2nd rope, uppercut connects and he covers for 2. Tag back to Rhino and Roode nails him in the throat, tag to Storm and Rhino connects with rights. Rhino beats him down in the corner, tag back to Cage and he takes an eye poke for his trouble. Cage fights back, back elbow by Storm and Cage counters with a cutter off of the ropes for 2. Roode back in and chops to Cage. He then dumps both Storm and Roode to the floor, Rhino slams them together and they all are on the floor now. Storm then spits beer in Cage's face and then Roode gets a charging knee, sending Cage to the railing. We head to commercial @ 4:00.
Back from commercial @ 8:00 with the BEER MONEY DOUBLE SUPLEX! Roode covers for 2. he works a chinlock on Cage, chops follow and then sets Cage on the top. Cage manages a tornado DDT and BOTH men are down. Tags to Rhino and Storm, Rhino cleans house on Beer Money. Corner spear to Storm, belly to belly broken up and then walks into a spinebuster for 2. Roode made the save, Cage back in and tosses Roode to the floor. Inverted DDT in Storm, Cage up top and Ray is out, Cage DIVES onto him! Devine is in and Rhino takes him out. Storm grabs his kendo stick, GORE TO STORM! 1…2…NO! Roode pulled out the ref. Rhino is pissed, Devon is out and attacks Rhino. Cage back in, double team on Devon, dropkick to Ray and Rhino looks for a gore…but Jackie grabs his hair. Cage then grabs her and Roode hits Cage with the kendo stick. 3D on Rhino! Storm covers as Jackie had the ref distracted and Beer Money wins!
Winners: Beer Money @ 11:15 via pin
This was a fun opener. Cage and Rhino work very well together and Beer Money is awesome. I would have preferred no interference, but it sets up the PPV tag bout to presumably blow off the Cage/Rhino vs. 3D feud.
RATING: **½
-Cage grabs the mic and is pissed that they got screwed again. He challenges them to a tag match at Hard Justice, in their backyard in a New Jersey Street Fight. Bring anything you want!
-Lauren is with the Rock and Rave Infection. They talk a bunch of shit that no one cares about, winning Grammy's or something. Hemme calls Lauren a rat, yeah. Hemme says they live the gimmick, and then "sings."
Jay Lethal w/SoCal Val, Shark Boy and Curry Man vs. Johnny Devine and The Rock and Rave Infection (Jimmy Rave and Lance Rock)
They all brawl at the bell, suicide dive by Lethal and the faces clean house. Sharky and Rave in, Rock then joins the action and starts to level people. Curry Man pulls in Hemme, they dance, jabs to Rave but he gets an STO on Curry Man for 2. Lethal made the save. Rave and Rock double team Curry Man, double elbow drops and a cover by Rock for 2. Devine in and gets knee strikes to Curry Man, celebrates and covers for 2. Tag to Rave, boots by Rave to Curry Man and then off the ropes and Curry Man gets a clothesline. Both men are down, tag to Devine and Lethal. Lethal cleans house, clotheslines and a hip toss and then the cartwheel and dropkick. Lethal up top and Rock tosses him off. Curry Man in and Sharky as well as the match breaks down. Curry Man and Sharky toss Rock. Curry Man backdrops Sharky onto the Rock and rave! Devine with stomps to Lethal, Intervention blocked and he gets the Lethal Combo for the win!
Winners: Jay Lethal w/SoCal Val, Shark Boy and Curry Man @ 4:25 via pin
Not bad at all with some fun spots, but too short and ultimately forgettable.
RATING: *½
-Lethal grabs the mic and calls Val into the ring. He wants to propose to her again and starts too, but her ring is gone. She lost it. Lethal is PISSED now and rightfully so. He can take a hint, throws down the mic and leaves.
-TO THE BACK and JB is with Lance Smith from CMT. They talk about their jobs and the people they get to work with and Super Eric is here. Super Eric has a brain flash and says if they find the ring, they save the love. Yeah.
-JB is with Joe that just arrived. He tells Joe about Booker and the Six Sides of Steel tour. Joe prays it is a party of three, bring Sting, because if they are in the cage, only he will walk out.
-We get a video package for Joe, Booker and Sting.
-Don and Mike discuss the situation involving the three men and say they need to hear from Sting.
-JB is with Nash. Nash says he will talk to Joe, ad they go and find him. Joe says Booker is punking him out, and then Sting is always involved. He is upset, and Nash asks if it is Sting for sure. Joe knows it was Sting, and Nash says he is there to even the score. But if they are going to war, they need a plan. Joe says they will do it Nash's way.
A TOUR OF THE SIX SIDES OF WEAPON FILLED STEEL
Booker makes his way to the cage. He says that this is his six sides of steel with weapons! Tables, Ladders, Chairs, Trashcans, Kendo Sticks and the like. He is a gentleman and will invite Joe out to his six sides of steel, and that He is the man up in this beast. He promises that the lights will not go out.
Joe makes his way to the cage. Joe says Booker is mistaken, but he will join Booker for the tour. But if he gets in he is beating the living hell out of Booker's ass. The lights will go out, for Booker. Joe enters the cage and Booker asks him to wait. Booker just wants to give a tour, that's all. Booker says that Joe doesn't have any weapons like a punk ass sucka! Plus he has no backup. Joe assures Booker he has backup and has a police baton. Nash is out and holds the cage door shut. Booker says it's like that huh? Joe attacks Booker and beats him down with the baton and lays out Booker. He then tosses him to the cage and Sharmell is out to beg Joe to stop. Nash holds the door shut and then carries her away. A bat drops from the ceiling and Booker LEVELS Joe as Tenay and West assume it is Sting that did it. Booker mouths "Thank You Sting." DAMN YOU STING!
-We get another video package for Sheik Abdul Bashir. He hates the homeless.
-AJ comes to the ring and after a commercial he has the mic. He calls out Sting, and says he know she is there. He has been taking up for Sting for three whole weeks and has defended him. The people want to know what is up with Sting. The wrestlers want to know what is up and HE wants to know. AJ says there is a reason for his actions, but how it is that his bat keeps knocking Joe out? Is it a coincidence? The first time sure, second maybe. The third time doubtful. Joe is one of the good guys, and now Sting hides. Is it guilt? AJ says Sting is a coward. The lights are out, Sting's music plays and Angle is there when the lights come back and he gets the Angle slam! Angle is furious and stalks AJ, and as AJ gets to his feet he gets another Angle slam on him. Angle then demands that AJ gets up, stalks him again and AJ pulls himself up only to take a third Angle slam.
-TO THE BACK and JB is with the Beautiful People. Sharky and Curry Man are there, searching for the ring. Sharky calls Love an ignorant slut, and he wants Val's ring. He wants to do a full body cavity search. Curry Man calms the situation, and then tries to get some action. He fails. Sharky promises to stomp fishing holes in them if he discovers that they are lying. Curry Man tries for some ass again and fails. They tease their secret, and as JB asks who "she" is they blow him off, which is the most action he has gotten like, ever.
-Lauren is with Petey Williams and Rhaka Khan. Petey says he prepared the same way he always does. He then says Creed is just another challenger, and watches too many comic book movies. Lauren says Petey is taking Creed lightly, and Petey says he beat no one and dances around like a fool. Petey then says to be someone in this business, you have to do something first. And he hasn't done a damn thing. Petey is the definition of definition, yeah!
Lock up and a takedown and slaps by Williams. Creed trips him up, they shove each other and then boots by Williams. A side headlock applied, off the ropes and jabs by Creed. Gets the split and the big right, covers for 2. Off the ropes and a cross body by Creed and a cover for 2. To the corner, rights by Creed, an Irish whip and Creed to the apron. Slingshots in with a face buster and covers for 2. Eye poke by Williams, boots follow and then Creed gets sent to the apron again. Williams knocks him to the floor, SLINGSHOT RANA by Williams, and he poses! Williams tosses him back in, slingshot into the lung blower and a cover for 2. A jawbreaker by Williams, spin kick follows and he poses again. Slaps by Williams, and then a standing dropkick connect and a cover for 2. Rights by Williams, but Creed battles back with rights of his own. Creed counters a back suplex and is shot off the ropes, cartwheel and a dropkick lands for Creed. Corner splash by Creed, a lariat follows and as he tries a fireman's carry, Khan distracts him and the ref. Creed hits on her, Williams ends up running into Khan and Creed gets a TKO on Williams and covers for 2. Creed up top and MISSES the top rope leg drop. Creed counters the Canadian Destroyer by sitting down (think Bret vs. Bulldog) and takes the win!
Winner: Consequences Creed @ 6:32 via pin
Not bad at all. Creed overcame the odds and took the win from the over confident Petey. They showed some good chemistry, which makes me think that they can have a good PPV match.
RATING: **
-JB is with the Prince Justice Brotherhood and they made the mistake of accusing LAX of stealing the ring. Sharky gets in Salina's face, and then Curry Man says he speaks their language. He flashes his gang symbol, "RIVE AND DIE LAX, DIS MY GANG SIGN, BRAT, BRAT, BRAT!" and asks for the ring, and Cide tells them to get to steppin before they make them a happy kids meal. Super Eric says there is a break in the case and they leave.
-Lauren is with AJ. He says he doesn't know what Sting is up to, and when Sting comes out of hiding, he will be there. AJ then says if Angle wants to lay him out, they can do it at Hard Justice in a last man standing match, and he promises that Angle will not get back up.
-Jim Cornette joins commentary to hype Hard Justice.
KAREN'S ANGLE
In 2006 Kaz came back to TNA. He knew he had the talent and that he would make things happen. Defeating Cage in a ladder match was huge and he will remember it forever. They then discuss Victory Road and him losing the Ultimate X match. He let TNA down, and it is hard to live with. Kaz says it is better to burn out than fade away. He wanted to do this in the Impact Zone, but prior to the interview he asked for his release, as of the end of this interview. He made the choice to walk away, to burn out, and he has to see what's out there for him. He thanks all the guys, the fans and says he has to focus on him and has to focus on himself. He has to find his smile. Karen hugs him. After the interview Tomko was there to scare Karen. She screams for help.
-Lauren is with Nash. He has known Sting since 1990 and he has seen this side before, on the opposite side and it is not a pretty sight. Something pissed him off. Joe is there all EMO and says He is pissed off. He will go to the rafters, drag Sting down and break every bone in his body. Nash says this is a bad plan.
Matt Morgan vs. Sal Rinauro
Poor Sal. He tries to attack at the bell, that would be a bad idea. HELLEVATOR KILLS Rinauro and that is all.
Winner: Matt Morgan @ 1:00 via pin
-Morgan gets on the mic and calls out Tomko. If he thinks he is a bad ass threatening women, then come out here and show the Blueprint who the real bad ass in TNA is. He then says Tomko's head is up Angle's ass. This brings out Tomko, we see his video game entrance, which is funny because he is now gone from the company. They stand off, Morgan is even bigger than Tomko. Security comes out and Tomko and Morgan brawl. Security breaks it up for a bit, but they keep fighting and Morgan nails the bicycle kick, and then gets the HELLEVATOR! Morgan stands tall, peace Tomko.
-JB is with the Prince Justice Brotherhood. Eric watched last week's show! Sonjay stole the ring last week. Eric says they will deal with it next week.
-Team 3D is with Beer Money and they all celebrate. Next week they will team together, they are now the best of friends because they are all scumbags. Ray says that he and Devon ruined the chances of Cage and Rhino, and next week they take out LAX, Cage and Rhino. Someone will go through a table, TESTIFY, Sorry About Your Damn Luck.
-ROUGH CUTS with Taylor Wilde is next. They even get some comments from Bill DeMott. Some of the Knockouts weren't happy about her winning, and Wilde knows she has a target on her back.
The Beautiful People (Angelina Love and Velvet Sky) vs. Gail Kim and Taylor Wilde
Sky and Wilde to begin. Sky opts to attack her from behind, but takes leg kicks and that causes Sky to run away and tag in Love. Love and Wilde stand off in a DEEP SOUTH SPECIAL, they shove each other and Wilde lands forearm shots. Off the ropes and Wilde goes lucha with the roll and arm drag. Tag to Kim and she works the arm of Love. A whip and Kim floats over, Japanese arm drag and as she goes for the necktie Love escapes, but Kim gets a dropkick. Kim goes for the lucha arm drag up the ropes, but Sky tosses her to the floor. Sky tosses her backing as we head to a commercial @ 2:25.
Joe walks to the rafters.
Back from commercial @ 5:45 with Sky covering Kim for 2. Tag to Love, snap mare and Love gets a basement dropkick and cover for 2. Love slams Kim down by the hair, and then does it again. Love tries to rip off the nose of Kim, Wilde tries to help but that allows Love to lay the boots to Kim. Love covers for a close 2. Love misses a bicycle kick, lung blower by Kim and BOTH ladies are down. Tags to Wilde and Sky, Wilde runs wild (HAR HAR HAR) and then gets a northern lights suplex on Sky for 2. All four ladies in the ring now, Kim and Wilde with corner mounted punches but Kim is tossed to the floor. Love levels Wilde with a kick and Sky covers for 2. Off the ropes, Wilde tries a sunset flip and Kim is in late to dropkick the Beautiful People, and Wilde gets the pin.
Winners: Wilde and Kim @ 9:15 via pin
I appreciate them main eventing with the ladies, but Sky holds everyone down and some things just didn't click. Not "BAD" really, just there.
RATING: *½
-The Beautiful People attack after the bell, all four ladies brawl and KONG IS BACK! Kim attacks her, as does Wilde but KONG KILLS! The crowd chants for ODB as Kong gets the KONG BOMB on Kim! The Beautiful People hold Wilde down and make her watch. KONG BOMB on Wilde! ODB is out now, the Beautiful People bail and she stands off with Kong. Roxxi is out as well with a chair and Kong bails as well. Traci Brooks is also out to watch on.
-We see Joe searching for Sting. He is in the rafters and yells for Sting. There is a bird up there, I don't think that's Sting.
-End scene…
Remember to send your thoughts on the show for the 4R's!
Posted By: William (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:05 PM
Russo-iffic.
Good Matches but the backstage skits are dumber then ever.
Thank god for the Women's division it's TNA's saving grace.
Posted By: Davis (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:16 PM
Most of the guys in TNA are made to look like complete idiots.
This was just as boring as this weeks Raw.
Posted By: Metro (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:24 PM
Eh
Posted By: Kip (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:29 PM
at least TNA didn't end with Mike adamle as GM good grief.
Posted By: well... (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:35 PM
EPIC RUSSO!
Posted By: Guest#6854 (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:36 PM
Yes Davis russorific better then Mcmahonriffic from this weeks raw wow talk about lousy buildup.
Posted By: Guest#2319 (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:45 PM
25:07 TIME IN TOTAL
Posted By: Guest#8191 (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:52 PM
SCARE KAREN? It looked like he was trying to Rape her.
Posted By: Guest#9457 (Guest) on July 31, 2008 at 11:56 PM
that was better then all the wrestling on RAW oh and I know Raw never has wrestling during their commercial breaks right moving on.
Posted By: and yet (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 12:04 AM
I believe the bird is supposed to be Sting's old school crow and sending a message to Joe. Very cool ending, as it is a throwback.
Posted By: Mikey (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 12:17 AM
Watch all this shit is being carried out by an Impostor Sting and not Steve "Sting" Borden. Gee that sounds familiar.
Posted By: Guest#7410 (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 12:47 AM
Oh yeah that would be the shit if it was Raven, but alas there just referencing when Sting used to wait in the rafters with a crow.
Posted By: Tapp (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 01:22 AM
Whatch'ya gonna do when the ratings of Brooke knows best, and all the Brookamaniacs run wild on you! Sister....
Posted By: Brooke (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 02:00 AM
"Very cool ending, as it is a throwback."
throwback, see also: rehash
Posted By: ayobmedz (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 02:55 AM
bitch bitch bitch. Just enjoy the show. Raw was good this week, Impact was good.
Posted By: Smarks cant enjoy anything (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 03:00 AM
Raw woulda been just as enjoyable as TNA this week had it not been for the Adamle swerve at the end.
I like how people love to come on here and say shit like "Russo-riffic" and how TNA offers too many swerves, but really, the stories have been quite enjoyable and fans are exaggerating the whole swerve thing. The one swerved that they gave us in the past six months was Sting hitting Joe and really that wasn't a swerve at all. They haven't swerved Nash against Joe, they haven't swerved Karen against AJ, they haven't swerved Val against Lethal (although it would make sense), so i don't know why people say TNA is full of swerves. The recent swerve with Sting (if u really want to call it a swerve) has built some intrigue around Joe vs Sting. People should pay attention a little more to TNA instead of blindly bashing on it week in and week out. Normally i wouldn't say it, but storyline wise, TNA has been on par with WWE lately.
Posted By: bighustle (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 03:05 AM
It's got nothing to do with swervers and everything to do with the entire babyface roster looking like complete tools for believing Sting has turned heel. Is he the only guy in the world who owns a black baseball bat?
Posted By: Ian (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 06:18 AM
BLACK SCORPION ~!
Posted By: Dr Domino (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 06:42 AM
LoL at Tomko walking in just after Kaz announced he's leaving TNA. Irony rules.
Posted By: DS (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 07:29 AM
1) When was the last time the WWE had a women's match as the main event? If they've done it on Raw/Smackdown in the last 2 years that I've been watching regularly, it certainly wasn't memorable...
2) So, Tomko's released between the taping where he gets some good monster-heel promo time and a prominant calling out & brawl by/with a face they're trying to push and the airing, yet they left those parts in the show? Assuming Tomko *has* been released, this shows a level of incompetence at TNA that is worth complaining about far more than the "Russo-riffic" stuff (seriously, it's no worse than the crap the WWE does) people here always go on about...
Posted By: The Ogre (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 08:16 AM
Out of the 6 matches made for the PPV so far, four are gimmick matches. Is that not a bit of overkill?
Gimmick matches are supposed to be somewhat special, yet TNA trots them out on free TV seemingly every week, then loads a PPV with them. Too much, how can one gimmick match hope to shine when theres 3 more to contend with - none will be memorable a week later.
Posted By: dennett316 (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 08:19 AM
tna was decent this week, they built hard justice good and luckily its a cage match so hopefully nobody gets involved in the world title match, i also though curry man was hilarious in those skits but i still miss daniels but who does not
but one thing is why is everyone bitchin about adamle jeez just give it a chance i mean i give everything wwe and tna does a chance first just cause adamle did not look like a good choice just give it a fuckin chance is that too much to ask
but a decent show hard justice looks good
Posted By: Lil P (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 08:30 AM
aarghh... BRAIN-FLASH! Love and the supaheroes were awesome.
Posted By: tully (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 10:45 AM
Gimmick matches are supposed to be somewhat special...
Posted By: dennett316 (Guest) on
August 01, 2008 at 08:19 AM
----
Why does everyone keep saying this? Is there like a wreslting constitution or something? why can't TNA do what the hell they want and make "normal" matches special. I don't get you guys.
Posted By: josh (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 10:54 AM
bighustle, the problem is that too many morons come on this site and immediately like to brand anything TNA does as russo-iffic, and the rest of the sheep follow suit because they're too stupid to form their own thoughts.
TNA has had a much better buildup to Hard Justice than WWE has towards one of their "Big Four" PPVs. From a kayfabe sense, it does make one wonder what Sting's intentions are while keeping the Joe-Booker feud fresh in everyone's minds.
The tag team scene is light years above WWE, as Beer Money is rising fast and hopefully will win the belts, which will then throw in MCMG into the mix.
Yes the Prince Justice thing or whatever is stupid, but at least they aren't the GM of the show!
Posted By: Orlando (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 11:19 AM
"Out of the 6 matches made for the PPV so far, four are gimmick matches. Is that not a bit of overkill?
Gimmick matches are supposed to be somewhat special, yet TNA trots them out on free TV seemingly every week, then loads a PPV with them. Too much, how can one gimmick match hope to shine when theres 3 more to contend with - none will be memorable a week later."
Originally posted by dennett316
I think 4 gimmick matches arent that bad, but hey, WWE had a PPV with ALL GIMMICK MATCHES, so i would give TNA the benefit of the doubt.
Posted By: Zack D. (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 11:20 AM
"I think 4 gimmick matches arent that bad, but hey, WWE had a PPV with ALL GIMMICK MATCHES, so i would give TNA the benefit of the doubt"
The thing is, all you have to do is look at the advertisements for Hard Justice...TNA is billing it as "the most hardcore ppv of the year." Wouldn't that call for some gimmicks to be thrown in there. You can't be too violent in a one on one red trunks vs blue trunks catch-a-catchskan classic.
Hello, does ONE NIGHT STAND ring a bell to anyone???
Posted By: Hustle Theory (Registered) on August 01, 2008 at 12:29 PM
"So, Tomko's released between the taping where he gets some good monster-heel promo time and a prominant calling out & brawl by/with a face they're trying to push and the airing, yet they left those parts in the show? Assuming Tomko *has* been released, this shows a level of incompetence at TNA that is worth complaining about far more than the "Russo-riffic" stuff (seriously, it's no worse than the crap the WWE does) people here always go on about... "
I kinda felt the same way you did about the Tomko thing. When they announced the Karen Angle show would be debuting, Kurt called for Tomko to ruin the party. The first installment aired without Tomko. Then the taping happened where Tomko called it quits and the second installment of the Karen Angle show airs the same week as the taping Tomko quits. They coulda easily swept Tomko's involvement under the rug and act like Kurt never told him to do anything.
So I wondered, "why the hell would they still show this angle when Tomko quit?"
BUT THEN, Tomko got bitched by Matt Morgan, so he still kinda went out on a low note (which is what traditionally happens). But I can't help but want to see more developments in the Tomko Morgan feud. So it really just kinda wet my appettite to see Tomko retaliate.
Posted By: Hustle Theory (Registered) on August 01, 2008 at 12:40 PM
Curry Man is gold.
Posted By: Rob (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 02:19 PM
shell yeah
Posted By: give me a (Guest) on August 01, 2008 at 03:58 PM
i just started watching the knockout matches on youtube and wow, they f'n rock! i LOVE the beautiful people, especially velvet sky, but i do have to admit, she appears to be the weakest link, but i think in a couple of months, she'll be able to hold her own, she's still my favorite though
Posted By: Lil_Mac (Guest) on August 02, 2008 at 11:30 AM
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