411's ECW on Sci-Fi Report 8.05.08

Posted by Shawn S. Lealos on 08.05.2008

The Dirt Sheet comes to ECW TV!

Welcome to the ECW on Sci-Fi! As always, I am not Michael Bauer, your 411 ECW Re-capper. I am Shawn S. Lealos and I will be filling in for Michael for one more week.

Matt Striker is subbing for Tazz tonight and we are in Atlanta.

LAST WEEK: Ricky Ortiz beats Chavo Guerrero by disqualification and then Evan Bourne ran in for the save.

Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely vs. Evan Bourne and Ricky Ortiz

Todd Grisham: "He's called Evan "Air" Bourne. Striker name drops some legends right off the bat, to prove his wrestling education. Ortiz attacks Neely and Guerrero immediately and then locks Neely in a arm bar for Bourne to drop his feet onto Neely's arm. That was awesome. Neely runs and makes a tag to Chavo. Chavo blocks one move but gets hit with a Bourne head scissors and then a fujinama arm bar. Ortiz is tagged back in and hits a flying shoulder tackle. Striker: "Ortiz is the only wrestler to ever play in the XFL." Neely interferes and he and Chavo take Ortiz down. Neely works on Ortiz and then brings Chavo back in who gets a two count after a hard forearm. Ortiz fights back. Neely tagged in and Ortiz gets the hot tag. Bourne with a few big thrust kicks. Bourne up top, "Holy Crap!" a double knee to a standing Neely's face. My God! Bourne dropkicks Chavo and Ortiz takes him out. Bourne with a unique looking rollup on Neely for the pin.

Winners: Evan Bourne and Ricky Ortiz

COMING UP: The Dirt Sheet!


Last Tuesday Hornswoggle got pinned by Morrison and Miz and then Mike Knox laid out Finley.

MIKE KNOX is in the ring with a microphone. He is not here to explain to us why he did what he did. But he wants to show us the fraud called Finley. He shows the old promo with Finley and Hornswoggle dancing in a field. He says to laugh at it because it's a joke. Finley used to be one of the toughest men in the business. Now, he spends his time dancing around with a leprechaun. That makes Knox laugh.

Here comes Finley and Hornswoggle. The two dance at the entrance and Finley is still smiling. Finley agrees it was a funny clip. He calls Knox "Fred." When he is corrected, he says he doesn't care if his name is Fred or Rufus or Barney. Finley loves to have fun with his family. He tells Knox to go ahead and take a shot. He offers to turn his back so Knox can jump him again. The jacket comes off! Finley: "Go ahead, take your shot. But you better knock me out because if you don't you'll find out whether I've gone soft or not." Mike Knox walks out.

RAW REBOUND: Cena and Batista beat an actual tag team for the tag team titles. Yea.

Armando Estrada vs Tommy Dreamer

This is the last chance Armando Estrada has to earn a contract with ECW. The two exchange wrestling holds. Dreamer with a nice hip toss and an arm drag. Arm bar by Dreamer. Armando tries to fight back but Dreamer with another hip toss and then clotheslines Armando out of the ring. Dreamer tries to bring Armando back in with a suplex but Armando drops Dreamer's neck over the top rope. Armando misses a clothesline and Dreamer takes him down. Armando in the tree of woe and Dreamer sets up his trademark baseball slide dropkick. He never gets the chance because Colin Delaney runs down and grabs a chair. Dreamer sees him and Delaney leaps over the announce table in fear. Dreamer back in and sets up for a DDT. Delaney up on the apron and Dreamer grabs him and sends the kid into the steel ring post. This allows Estrada to roll up Dreamer for the three count. Striker compares Dreamer and Delaney to Zbyszko and Sammartino. Funny stuff.

Winner: Armando Estrada


FACT: WWE gives free tickets to Military Personal for its live events.

BACKSTAGE: Colin Delaney congratulates Armando Estrada. Estrada asks why he would help him after all the crap he put Delaney through in the past. Delaney said at least Estrada gave him a chance. Teddy Long shows up and sets up Colin Delaney to face Tommy Dreamer in an Extreme Rules match.

SMACKDOWN REBOUND: Edge puts Foley through a table.

BACKSTAGE: Braden Walker (Chris Harris) is walking.

Braden Walker vs James Curtis

Savio Vega trained James Curtis. Walker gets NO reaction. Walker with a hip toss and a big suplex. The announcers make it sound like the two are young newcomers to the ring in general. Curtis is also a boating man, according to Striker. Walker with an arm bar. Curtis punches Walker and starts with clubbing forearms right as someone in eh audience starts chanting boring. Inverted Atomic Drop and a slow clothesline. Another geriatric clothesline by Walker. Flying Clothesline by Walker to Curtis. Walker tries for a suplex but Curtis with a knee and some fists to Walker. Walker with another clothesline. Perfect Plex gets the win for Walker. God that was a horrible match. What happened to Wildcat Chris Harris? He looked horrible and slow here.

Winner: Braden Walker


THE DIRT SHEET WITH JOHN MORRISON AND THE MIZ

The #1 Show on WWE.COM will soon become the #1 Show on ECW. Their first guest is Mark Henry. They use the Conan O'Brien joke of having the face on the screen with someone else's mouth supplanted over it. The make fun of Henry by having him just grunt. Atlas was their next target as he rapped that Hippity Hippity Hop song. Henry: "Me hungry. Grrr. Eating make Mark strong." Morrison: "No, eating makes you fat. I think you have a gland problem." Next up was Lena Yada: "Gross. Big fat sweaty men gross. I love Morrison and Miz" She them blows kisses. Morrison shows his abs and the girls squeal. He then makes fun of the belt extension Henry needs for the championship. Mark Henry finally comes out to the ring and he is pissed. Miz and Morrison said they were joking but Atlas is pissed and said it was not smart to disrespect and make fun of the World's Strongest Champion. Miz and Morrison apologize and put Matt Hardy's face on the screen. Morrison calls him Jeff and then acts confused at why it is Matt getting a shot instead of Jeff. Matt talks like Forrest Gump and says he has never been number one at anything, not even in his own family. Matt comes out. Matt claps and says it was brilliant. The fans love Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy says it must be great Morrison and Miz are such big Conan O'Brien fans. Great! Matt then says he loved them in Brokeback Mountain. Matt also says he earned his shot by beating Morrison and Miz. He calls himself a winner and Morrison and Miz losers. Matt lays out Miz. Morrison tried to hit Matt but Matt moves and he hits Henry instead. Henry lays out Morrison and then hits an avalanche. Matt hits the Twist of Fate on Miz. Matt and Henry stand face to face to end the show.