Cross The Line - TNA 08.14.08 Analysis

Posted by Wendell Mitchell on 08.15.2008

The aftermath of Hard Justice is upon us. Dare to Cross the Line and see what has been wrought.



Welcome back to another edition of Cross The Line. Let's get this thing poppin'.

A nice ppv recap video starts things off, featuring Hernandez Border Tossing Homicide into Beer Money, Homicide getting his wig split with a beer bottle, and the guitar shot heard ‘round the world when Joe retains his title.

Lauren meets Joe and Big Kev as they emerge from a snazzy SUV. Joe muses that things have become interesting. Big Kev has no comment. Oh, but if we were talking about snuff films you wouldn't be so tight lipped, would you big man?

We kick it to Don and Mike as they contemplate Sting's state of mind. No time for pyschoanalysis though, because we have a tag team match to watch.

Match 1: Tag Team Bout Rock and Rave Infection (w/Christy Hemme and possible undiagnosed venereal diseases) vs. The Instant War Machine (Rhino and Christian)

Rhino and Rave start off and with the exception of a single boot to the gut, Rhino dominates him. He tags in Christian who continues the punishment until Rave scurries away . Rock in and tries to muscle Christian around, but Christian tags out to Rhino and they double team Rock. Huge belly to belly suplex on Rock, but the Gore is broken up when Rave grabs the ankle. A little malfunction at the junction and the heels are in control. Rave pounds on Rhino for a minute, and the crowd cheers Rhino on. Rock back in and he and Rave hit the Air guitar elbow drops. Christy makes herself useful and chokes Rhino across the middle rope. Rave gets in half a move before Rhino busts his spine on the pine. Rock breaks up the ensuing pin fall, but eats a clothesline from Rhino. Crowd erupts when Christian gets the tag. Rock sent sprawling to the outside. Rave bumps like a mad man. Christian lets the bottom drop out with a reverse DDT. Corkscrew back elbow from the middle rope sets up an Unprettier attempt, but Rock boots him in the face. Rhino tosses Rock back to the outside then assists Christian with a backdrop on Rave. Rave pays for his earlier interference and is gored in half. Christian takes to the air and hits the frog splash for the victory.

Winners: Christian Cage and Rhino This made for a nice opener. Rhino and Christian did their thing, Rock and Rave jobbed like the good troopers they are and Christy looked hot. Who can ask for anything more? Isn't that what friends are for? The good times, the bad times...

To the back: JB is with the only Gold Medalist in professional wrestling. JB questions the condition of Angle's neck and to everyone's amazement, Kurt admits that he's hurt. That's crazier than him thinking TNA can overtake Raw in the ratings. Since this is serious Kurt, he holds his neck brace instead of wearing it in some goofy comedic fashion. He declares this Kurt Angle week because of the Olympics and Burmanese hit squads or something.. Angle, if you get me a day off work buddy and I'll make a replica of you out of toothpicks. Or buy you a protein shake. Kurt reminds us that he is the greatest wrestler alive and is a role model, unlike that cheater mccheater pants AJ Styles. Kurt thanks Sting for saving his neck for his was certain a clearly mentally disturbed Styles wanted to cripple him. All this rambling leads to a Gold Medal challenge contested with modified amateur wrestling rules. Sounds like fun to me. No seriously, it does. I love grappling, even if this probably won't end well. I'm pretty sure it never has.

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And we're back: Mike and Don kick it to the back with AJ and JB. AJ promised Angle that he wouldn't walk away from their match. He then shifts his focus to Sting and accepts that his hero is a fraud and that he will essentially take Sting out if they cross paths again. AJ accepts Angle's challenge and guarantees that Michael Phelps will not be the only one bringing home gold.

Don and Mike run down the scheduled matches for tonight then send us...

To the back where the increasingly lovely Lauren and Matt Morgan talk about his future main event potential. Morgan cuts a generic promo about making opportunities and winning the world title. He even throws in a cliched "set em up and I'll knock ‘em down" metaphor. He's the blue print alright. Well at least he doesn't look like Randy Orton...

Ads: So, am I the only one that wants to see Art of War 2 and its government defrauding star?

And we're back and greeted with Matt Morgan's intro video.

Match 2: Singles Bout "The Blue Print" Matt Morgan(w/full entrance) vs. Johnny Devine(w/"I'm going to job so hard" countenance)

Oh goody, our weekly Matt Morgan squash. Yep, this is going to earn him a title match. I mean, when I think fast track to the main event, I think Devine. Devine runs his mouth to Morgan's nipples then slaps him and runs. Morgan chases him like a big dumb face and Devine catches him as he gets back into the ring with some ineffective punches until Morgan shoves him away like an annoying little kid. Morgan misses a big boot, Devine with a knee, some more crappy punches, and Morgan once more shoves him away. Morgan kills him with a bicycle kick. Hellevator and it's over. I really thought Devine had a chance there. Don mentions that Devine has joined Morgan's mile high club. He keeps saying that and I do not think it means what he thinks it means.


Winner: Matt Morgan Can the man get a real feud please? Feed him Kip James or something.

Team 3D attack because someone remembers that Devine is their road dog. Cue the Catacomb music and Abyss is out to clean house. He should try those Clorox wipes, they work wonders. Devine is stupid and stupidity gets punished with a Black Hole Slam. After initial heistiation, and who can blame Abyss after all the pain in his past, Morgan and Abyss shake hands and form the New Skyscrapers. Or Twin Towers. As long as it gives Morgan something to do.

Before we go to commercial, we get a clip of The Beautiful People gracing Karen Angle with their presence. The full interview when we get back from these...

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And we're back with Karen's Angle: Velvet sounds so sad in her insincerity. Karen suggests that nice begets nice. I know nice guys finish last, but what about nice girls? Guess it doesn't matter because the Beautiful People don't play nice. Oh for the love of all that's holy, why is Kip James here and why is there an uncomfortably long close up of his derrière? Well at least the freak isn't wearing Torrie Wilson's old ring gear. He calls Karen and ugly witch and gives her tips straight out of Buns of Steel. Karen's Angle continues it's march of mediocrity.

So they finally acknowledge Kim's sister by name. Good genetics. That's enough eyeballing the new girl, it's time to head...

To the back: Lethal using his normal voice with Lauren because this situation is super serial. He's going to hurt the Guru. I'm no expert on the metaphyscial ramifications of such an act, but I'm fairly certain that's a good way to screw up Lethal's chakra and incur some bad ju ju to boot. Lethal says, and I quote "Screw Val." You think she digs the internet writer type? While you ponder that, I'll watch these...

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And we're back with the debut of Abdul Bashir, who cuts a promo in both Farsi (I believe) and English. Seems like he equated America to a desperate woman that gives everything she has to keep a man. I know the feeling brother. And like a dick, he doesn't even love her.

Match 3: Singles Bout "Middle Eastern Nightmare" Abdul Bashir(w/video from ppv) vs. Black Machismo" Jay Lethal(w/upset stomach from a broken heart)

Lethal emotes "conflicted" or "did I forget something" which allows Bashi to jump start this contest with some punches. They exchange chops while Mike assumes that Jay's tenuous grasp on sanity is slipping. Jay with the suicide dive, but once they get back to the ring Bashir gains the advantage. Bashir goes to the heel arsenal and pulls out a chin lock. Sure, why not. Jay fights out and counters a scoop slam attempt by shifting his weight. Bashir punishes the infidel with a devestating chinlock. Jay fires up and nails trio of clothesline and a huge back body drop. Bashir slows the momentum with a jaw breaker. But Jay has too much baby face fire and hooks Bashir in a small package, but interestingly enough rolls through and turns it into a suplex. That was sort of nifty. Jay unleashes a flurry of punches in the corner and Don West thinks that all Jay can see is Guru. All I can see is black on brown crime and it saddens me on the inside. Bashir channels the Original Sheik and stabs Jay in the neck with a spike. That's a bit unnecessary. He then hits a from the knee DDT that's called the WMD, which is so inappropriate, for the win.

Winner: Abdul BashirEh. The match had it's moments. Bashir didn't really show much outside of a few chin locks and punches. Jay got in some of his stuff, but even his offense was a bit pedestrian outside of that nifty roll through suplex.

Post match, Sonjay hits a prone Jay with the 450 splash and how can you boo something so beautifully executed? He should have done the little sprinkler dance on his corpse.

We join JB and the Ts in the Pimped Out Locker Room. Booker has a boo boo on his head and does not appreciate getting kabonged. Booker is upset basically and swears vengeance as only one of his superior skill can administer. JB promises some unseen footage of Nash and Sting from the PPV.

Ads: Unlike Larry, I want to see the Scorpion King sequel.

And we're back with a Sting video package. I'm such a mark for these things. I just wish they would quote some more bible verses. I AM THE ALPHA! THE OMEGA! The beginning and the end. Makes chills run down my spine. The super special secret footage boils down to Sting losing his patience. Yay? That's his excuse? Some Icon. HBK would never do anything like that...

Match 4: Tag Team Bout "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash(w/old man pimp limp) and "The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe(w/World Heavyweight Championship) vs. Team 3D(w/o Devine)

Joe and Devon kick this shin ding off and Joe quick establishes dominance. Devon gets to his corner and he and Ray hit a tandem suplex on the champ. Ray with some jabs, but Joe blocks a ura-nage attempt and gives Ray the big Joe Combo. Nash tagged in and essentially exhausts his entire move set once he whips Ray into the corner. Devine interferes, but Ray still gets side slammed as we head to break.

Match 4 Continued

And the power of commercials has shifted the balance of power. Team 3D has Nash grounded and are working the legs and dropping elbows. Ray dissecting the leg like a first year resident. Don says Nash is in the gym everyday, which sounds like a lie, but who am I to doubt Don's store of knowledge? Nash turns the tides with a boot to Devon and tags in Joe. An enziguri forRay. Well Dressed Japanese Business Man Kick to Devon. Jumping shin kick to Ray's face. Devon gets whipped into Nash's big boot. Ray attacks from behind and they get a reverse 3D for two. They signal for the 3D, but big Kev pulls Ray out of the ring and Joe chokes out Devon.

Winner: Kevin Nash and Joe Team 3D showed why they should get that contract extension next month. Not quite as good as the opening tag match, but it served its purpose.

Joe grabs a chair and is killing Devon with the chair. It's like Stone Cold and the Rock at Wrestlemania 17 minus the context; which makes Joe look like a jerk instead of a whiner. Way to go booking team. I get he needs to embrace his bad ass roots again, but couldn't that have been accomplished by holding the choke just a little longer than necessary? This was blatant heelishness. Apparantly, Joe's Achilles heel is his temper. Hebner gets four knuckles to the grill and reverses decision.

Winners: Team 3D Is there precedence here? I know they've reversed decisions for continuing to attack an opponent, but attacking the ref? I'm just curious.

The Knockouts are up next

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And we're back: So is Tracey the official ref for the Knock Outs now? And what's with calling the Knock Outs "girls" Tenay? You feel intimidated or something?

Match 5:Christy Hemme(w/fiery red hair) vs. Taylor Wilde(w/Knock Outs World Title)

Taylor initiates the offense with a pair of Steamboat like arm drags. Drop toe hold into a death lock set up, which Christy bites her way out. Christy then stands on Taylor's hair while pulling up on her arms. Classic. Christy talks trash to Tracey then lifts Taylor by the hair and drives her back down to the mat. Taylor fires back with some forearm shots, but Christy continues working the hair and Don approves. Christy with the "Look at my fire crotch" boot choke. Taylor arm drags out of another predicament and keeps Christy off balance with a pair of clotheslines. Northen Lights suplex nets the champ a two count. Nice series of kicks follows, but the coup de grace is ducked when Christy back bends under it. Christy with a split leg drop for two. She then heads to the middle rope and tries the FFG, but misses and Taylor goes all Alundra Blaze and kills her with a bridging German Suplex for the win.

Winner:Taylor Wilde Not bad considering it was Christy. She's a notch or two above Velvet, which isn't saying much, but at least makes the match watchable.

Kong and Saed are out and Kong attacks Taylor. Tracey breaks it up and earns a Uraken and a chokeslam for her troubles. Poor Tracey. Taylor jumps on Kong, but Saed pulls her off. Kong goes to power bomb Taylor on a chair and I can't help but want to see it. Fortunately for Taylor's continued good health, Gail's out to steal someone else's feud. Saed gets the wrap around neck breaker from Gail. Kong tosses Gail around a bit, but misses with a chair shot and Gail drop kicks the chair into her face then nails her with a stiff ass chair shot.

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And we're back with Rough Cuts: Creed talks about wanting to be a wrestler since he was a kid. We get comments for a long time friend confirms it. Creed started wrestling in 7th grade and joined the show choir in senior year to prepare for performing in front of people. I love the guy's ambition. That was a pretty good Rough Cut segment.

To the back: Lauren is with Hector and Hernandez. Hernandez alludes to prison rape in a not too horrible promo which makes me fear for my favorite cowboy.

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And we're back with a video package detailing the Beer Money/LAX rivalry.

To the back: Beer Money feigns concern with Hernandez being upset.. Storm has his belt under the shirt. Bam! That put a smile on my face. Storm questions Hernandez about his comments. Queering don't make the world right, son. Tacos R Us sounds like a place where you can't quite tell if that's sour cream or not. Jackie says she will take a Beef Taco. Poor choice of words there sweet heart. Storm calls her out on it, then let's Hernandez know that he's Sorry about your damn luck.

Match 6: Singles Bout "Tennessee Cowboy" James Storm(w/Robert Roode and Pride of Tennessee Ms. Jackie Moore) vs. Hernandez(w/Hector Guerrero y Salinas y chi chis grande)
Super Mex attacks prior to the bell and he is absolutely manhandling Storm here. Big no hands dive from Hernandez on Storm and Roode. Storm is getting nothing here until Roode distracts Hernandez long enough for Storm to hits his back brain kick. Storm with a knee drop and then we settle things down with a chin lock. Hernandez fights out but Storm with the Shades of Harley Race to put him back down. Storm with the fish hooks because the man can do no wrong. Storm reminds us that they are the tag team champs, and gets hit with an electric chair drop for his boastful ways.. Hernandez batters him with clotheslines and a back body drop. Hernandez channels William Regal with the Half Nelson Suplex! Hernadez attempts a superplex, but Jackie holds his leg. Storm earns a million more cool points with a reverse tornado DDT. Storm going for something in the piledriver/power bomb family, but gets back dropped. The Border Toss is broken up by Roode and. Roode is sent hurtling off the apron. Storm's Last Call comes up dry, but he gets to the second rope. He frames the shot, but gets caught and Hernadez muscles him up from the fall away slam position into a power bomb for the three count.

Winner: Hernandez That was a decent showcase for Hernandez. But James Storm is three or four shades of awesome so that played a lot into it. Still, Hernandez looked fine and got some partial revenge for his hermano.

AJ and Angle head to the ring while we head towards some...

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We're Back: Corny announces some matches for next week which include Gail Kim vs. Kong in a street fight and Hernandez vs. Roode. The main event for Sacrifice is also announced as Joe will defend his title in a Four Ways To Glory match. It's pretty much a forgone conclusion that Booker is winning his qualifying match next week.


Match 7: Featured Contest - Gold Medal Challenge Kurt Angle vs. The Phenomenal AJ Styles
Sadly, due to his face turn, no Gainsville Vocational singlet for AJ. The ropes have been taken down.

First Period Angle with a lightning quick takedown and another one with a leg trip. All in less than a minute. An arm drag nets Angle another two points and AJ is getting worked here. That's the period and Angle dominated. Kinda makes me wonder if Real Pro Wrestling still comes on television.

Second Period And Angle it simply overpowering AJ with every attempt at a lock up. AJ scores with a roll up that gives him two points for the take down and another two for a near fall. AJ is forced out of the ring and Angle quickly puts him on the mat again. Just before the period expires, AJ rolls through the single leg and ties it up with another four point effort.

Third Period: We are all tied up. They exchange standing switches and Angle distracts the ref before cheap shotting AJ with an elbow to the mouth. Angle takes him down for another easy two points. AJ grounds AJ with a front face lock. AJ fights back and throws Angle with a release northern lights into Rudy Charles. Kurt with a clothesline and the lights go off. Sting's music plays and when the lights come back on Angle has the bat. The lights go off again and sweet jimminy, it's Double J's music and I have to say I sort of missed it. AJ is behind Angle now and busts Angle wide open with a guitar shot. AJ with the cover and he wins not only the match, but the Gold Medals. He doesn't even have to hide them in his underpants or nothing. Dreams do come true!

Winner: AJ Styles Not something I want to see every week, but this was pretty fun. I'm a big fan of Angle out wrestling people, only for them to overcome the adversity and for him to snap and throw the first punch.

Well, we had a whopping seven matches this week and other than the unnecessary squash, none of them were sub par. God I hope that was a one time thing with Kip. I do not need him anywhere near the Beautiful People. With that said, Don West will remain two steps away from crossing the line. Remember, if you haven't been to a TNA live event, don't be a square man, just Cross The Line