The No Mercy 2008 Breakdown

Posted by J.D. Dunn on 10.09.2008

This year's "October surprise?" A great PPV!

No Mercy 2008
by J.D. Dunn

I'm a bit out of the loop on the WWE. In fact, I don't think I've seen a show since Unforgiven. I trust Rick Rude and Jake Roberts are still feuding?

October 5, 2008

Live from Portland, Ore.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz and Todd Grisham.

ECW Heavyweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry (w/Tony Atlas).
This goes about how you'd expect. Henry just MAULS Matt early on. Matt smartly targets Henry's legs in between getting his ass kicked. Finally, Matt succeeds in chopping the big tree down without getting his wig split. Henry powers up and Banzai Drops him, though. Matt fires away but runs right into a bearhug. He avoids another butt splash, though, and drops a few elbows. The Side Effect gets two, but Henry tosses Matt aside to block the Twist of Fate. That sets up the World's Strongest Splash, but Henry lands on his bad knee and can't cover right away. Hey, psychology! See, that's all I ask. The match obeys its own internal logic. Matt is able to get his shoulder up and reverses the World's Strongest Slam (by punching Henry in the bad leg) to the Twist of Fate at 8:09. Major points her because Hardy wrestled a smart match. Usually, when they book a David vs. Goliath match, they assume that people will just root for the little guy, but the little guy actually has to do something to deserve to win rather than get lucky. Matt did that and turned this from a throwaway opener to a decent match. **1/2

In the back, Triple H tries to Freep the WWE.com online poll. Jeff Hardy tells him to pay attention to his game.

WWE Women's Title: Beth Phoenix (w/Santino Marella) vs. Candice Michelle.
Beth gets all up in her grill, so Candice dropkicks her and 'hits' a Fameasser. She gets two off a rollup, but Beth catches her and rams her into the buckle. Beth takes her down into a cross armlock. Candice reverses for two and hits a spinning wheel kick for two more. Beth catches her with an Armbar DDT and goes up. Candice crotches her and covers for two, but Santino pulls Beth to safety. Candice dropkicks Santino and goes out after him, but Beth blindsides her. Back in, Beth argues with Santino, and Candice rolls her up. Candice sets up for the Candy Wrapper, but Beth reverses to the Glam Slam at 4:48. Perfectly competent. That's all I ask. *3/4

For Rey's Mask: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane.
Michael Cole talks about the importance of Rey's mask and how much it means to him, so apparently that portion of WCW is locked in the Benoit section of the vault. Rey goes right after him but runs into a big boot. Kane baits him into going for the 619 early and nearly takes his head off with a clothesline. The ref asks Rey if he's "had enough." Yeah, it's been a brutal 30 seconds. He's ready to give up his mask now. Rey tries a plancha but gets caught. He slips over Kane's shoulder into a sleeper, but Kane just dumps him onto the barrier. Kane goes to work on the back, kicking at it and then stretching Rey across his knee. Rey buckles Kane's swash with a spinning Inverted DDT. Rey Drops the Dime for two but injures his own knee on a botched springboard armdrag. He hits a springboard splash anyway and gets two more. Rey comes off the top… right into an uppercut from Kane. A corner boot misses, and Rey hits a 619 to the leg, sending Kane to the floor. CREATIVITY~! Rey tries a dive onto Kane, but Kane just grabs a chair and swats him out of the sky for the DQ at 10:09. See, Kane doesn't really care about winning. He just wants carnage. Rey tells the EMTs that he can't feel his legs. **3/4

In the back, MVP tries to see Vickie Guerrero, but The Big Show stonewalls him.

Like a good whiny heel, MVP decides to take his case to the people. You don't bench Lebron. You don't bench Manny. Hell, you don't even bench Johnny Bench. Randy Orton, whose new music is great interrupting music, interrupts. Randy tells him to quit whining because he's only potential. MVP says he didn't recognize Randy without a sling and his MRI results. OH SNAP! MVP threatens to knock him out and become a hero in the Raw locker room. That brings out Simply Priceless & Manu. The fans get on Cody Rhodes with a "boring" chant before he even says anything. Harsh. Randall blows them off and walks away. MVP says he likes the guys, but they tell him to get lost because he's not a legacy. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston come out and tell MVP that they have his back, but when he charges, they just let him catch a beatdown. I remember when the Rock first did that. It's still a pretty funny, if mean, trick. Then, after an appropriate amount of 3-on-1, Kofi and Punk clear the ring. A lot of people are down on Punk focusing on the Tag Titles when he was a former World Champion, but I see it as elevating the tag titles. Hey, somebody actually *wants* the damn things! Besides, judging by the crowd reaction, Punk isn't hurting in the popularity department because of it.

#1 Contender's Match: Batista vs. JBL.
Slugfest early, and Batista nails him with a clothesline. JBL goes for the Clothesline from Hell, but Batista spears him. JBL *bails out,* ha ha ha. I guess his effort was *subprime?* I'm not sure if his pride his hurting, but his *fannie may.* These economic crisis jokes doing anything for you? Hey, it's either this or cry. JBL tries to slow things down, but Batista hits him with a corner clothesline and drives the shoulder. A powerslam sets up another spear attempt, but JBL blocks with a boot. He tries a sleeper but gets spinebustered. That sets up the Demonbomb at 5:17. Total destruction. JBL basically got squashed like a 401k. **

JBL cuts a promo while lying on the mat. He thanks Congress for allowing him to keep his lifestyle by voting to bail him out.

Yoyoyoyoyoyo! Cryme Tyme decides to bail out JBL's limo by having a sexy party with Sgt. Slaughter and the WWE Divas. Well, there goes that new car smell.

The Big Show vs. The Undertaker.
I would assume that this is also a sort of unspoken #1 contender's match. Jim Ross calls the Big Show "cyclopean." That thesaurus he got for his birthday has really paid off. They turn it into a boxing match early, only in this case, they actually throw punches instead of humping each other on the ropes like boxers do. Show clotheslines Taker to the floor and whips him into the barrier. Taker fights back and boots Show in the temple. Show drops an elbow for two like some stretched out King Kong Bundy. More punches. Show works in a Russian Leg Sweep. Taker slips over Show's shoulder and grabs a reverse DDT. Show reverses it and goes for the pump-splash. Taker rolls out of the way and slugs away. A flying clothesline puts Show down, and a legdrop gets two. Show counters the Old School Ropewalk Forearm to a chokeslam, but he can't cover right away and only gets two. Taker ducks a swing and goes for his own chokeslam, but Show blocks and goes for his own. Taker reverses in midmove to a DDT. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Taker slugs away and then chases the ref off. That allows the Big Show to untie the turnbuckle pad, ram Taker's head into it, and knock Taker silly with a haymaker. Another one knocks Taker out for the TKO at 10:05. They really *had* to have Show go over or else he would have been a total joke. I was surprised that they had him win so convincingly (if illegally). Kudos for bringing back the power of the punch. Surprisingly good match too, because it was built around the psychology of a specific move that they spent months building up. ***

WWE Heavyweight Title: Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy.
HHH shows why he's the cerebral assassin, double-crossing Hardy off a handshake. Congratulations, you outsmarted a drug addict. Hardy comes back and grabs a headlock. HHH shoves him off, so Hardy shoulderblocks him down and goes right back to the headlock. HHH tries a second time and just hits a reverse elbow before Jeff can respond. See how they build the second move using the first? Good stuff. Jeff clotheslines HHH out and hits a flying clothesline from the apron. Back to the headlock inside. Jeff lands on the apron and nearly gets caught with a Pedigree while going for a sunset flip. Instead, he steadies himself and backdrops Hunter to the floor. Hunter just walks away from a somersault plancha. SPLAT! Back in again, Hunter goes right to work on the back. You have to feel for Jeff because when he sells, he always looks so frail. Jeff comes back with a sleeper drop and whips HHH out of the ring. This time, the somersault plancha hits. Again, using the first move to set up the importance of the second. Back in, Hunter desperately takes Jeff down with a clothesline. He comes off the second rope right into a boot and sitout gourdbuster. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Jeff tries a crossbody, but Hunter just slams him down. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! SPINEBUSTER! Jeff reverses the Pedigree to the catapult and hits the Whisper in the Wind. ONE, TWO, THRE-NOOOO! The fans thought that was it. Somehow, I don't think HHH is jobbing to something called "the Whisper in the Wind." Jeff follows up with the slingshot dropkick, but the Swanton Bomb misses. Hunter goes for the Pedigree again, but Jeff reverses to the TWIST OF FATE! SWANTON! ONE, TWO, THRE-Hunter reverses to a crucifix! ONE, TWO, THREE! Hunter snatches away the victory at 17:00. Great, great stuff. Probably Jeff's best individual non-gimmick match, and Hunter's best performance in a long while. The fans really bought into the nearfalls near the end too. ****1/4

In the back, Hunter gets kudos from Arn Anderson before running into Soda Popinski erm… uh, Vladimir Kozlov. Translation: I must break you.

World Heavyweight Title, Ladder Match: Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels.
It's the feud that keeps on giving. Jericho enters first (boo!). Shawn slips over Jericho's shoulder and nearly hits Sweet Chin Music, but Jericho ducks out of the way. HASHAWN CHOP! Michaels misses a charge to the corner and posts himself. They go into the meaningless Flair/Steamboat sequence. Well, meaningless to the context of the match, but it's kind of like that scene in Days of Thunder where the two guys are so competitive they started racing wheelchairs in the hospital. Wait. Was that Days of Thunder or Top Gun? Meh, like there's a difference. Jericho hits a springboard shoulderblock and whips Shawn's shoulder into the post. Jericho grabs the ladder, but Shawn drop toeholds him into it. Jericho comes back with the Walls of Jericho on the outside. He tries to pull the ladder in, but Shawn dives back into the picture and see-saws it right into Jericho's chin. Jericho catches Shawn going up and yanks him down into a powerbomb spot. Shawn rolls through but Jericho catapults him. Shawn deftly lands on the ladder and goes up. Cool. Jericho shoves the ladder over, though, sending Shawn into the ropes. Jericho rams Shawn with the ladder, but Shawn tosses him into another ladder to come back. Shawn with the kneebreaker on the ladder! He follows that up with a figure-four leglock. Jericho flips it over and then kicks the ladder, spinning it off the ladder into Shawn's face. Awesome! Jericho slams Shawn's head in the ladder (sick!) and goes up for the belt. Shawn pushes the ladder over, but Jericho lands on his feet. Jericho sets up the ladder in the corner and prepares to toss Shawn into it, but Shawn reverses and tosses Jericho onto the ladder. Big pop for that. Jericho falls to the floor, so Shawn picks up the ladder and slams it onto him. Shawn sets up the ladder near the announce table, but Jericho catches up with him. BOTH guys fall through the announce table. Shawn is up first, and he goes up top, taking a ladder with him. Jericho dropkicks crotches him and sets up for a superplex with the ladder in between them. Instead, Shawn fights free and piefaces him backwards. Shawn comes off the top with an elbowdrop into the ladder. OWWWWWW! In retrospect, I must question my decision-making process! Shawn staggers up and tunes up the band, but Jericho cuts off the superkick with a ladder shot. That sets up a Lionsault onto the ladder with Shawn underneath. So, I guess we know the answer to what would happen if Shawn jumped off a cliff. Jericho sets up the ladder on top of Shawn and goes up, but Shawn tips the ladder over, spilling Jericho all the way to the floor. Shawn sets up the ladder and climbs up, getting one hand on the belt before Jericho jumps back in and shoves the ladder over. Shawn crotches himself on the fall. Jericho gets a hand on the belt, but Shawn races up this time. Shawn knocks Jericho back and ties him up in the ladder rungs. Lance Cade pulls Shawn down but eats a superkick. Jericho rights himself and goes up, but Shawn jumps back up and it's a TUG-O-WAR! Good God, this is awesome! Jericho is leaning all the way back, trying to pull the belt through the loop. Finally, he just headbutts Shawn right in the face and falls back with the belt at 22:19. I have to admit, when I heard it would be a ladder match, I was a bit disappointed. After all, ladder matches tend to be spotfests, not examples of intense hatred. Both guys played it perfectly, though. It's not what you do in the ring, it's why and how you're doing it. Every ladder match has a spot where someone press slams a ladder onto his opponent, but in this case, Shawn did it with just the right amount of anger at just the right time to make it seem like a big deal, like he had a willful disregard for Jericho's wellbeing. Oh, how wrong I was to doubt these guys. ****1/2

The 411: Everything that was supposed to be good was great. Everything that was supposed to be average was good. Everything that was supposed to suck was average. That's what you call overachieving. The one-two punch of the main events makes this an easy recommendation. And the matches preceding it didn't drag the show down. Great show.

Thumbs way up.