411's WWE Smackdown Report 10.31.08

Posted by Scott Rutherford on 10.31.2008

Three decent matches and a story line progression free show? I think I saw this show last week.

Welcome again to my fucking Smackdown recap!

Last weeks comments throw up an interesting debate, is the use of the word "fuck" in a wrestling recap a sign of under-education or an expression of free fucking speech. It all comes from a three-sentence gag to liven up some stupid backstage skit that was boring and dull.

My take is…fuck you and your fucking retarded mothers you no sense of humour ball lickers.

In this day and age, is the word "fuck" that big if a deal? I mean, when your government is fighting a futile and utterly senseless war that's managed to play a huge part in the worlds economy overheating due to inflated oil prices and where thousands of men and woman are dying, what verbiage I use in a wrestling recap should be the last of anyone's worries.

Seriously, I used the word five times in three sentences and then twice again to express my disgust at the result of the final match. That's it. Though if you believed the hysterical little girls making comments you thought I was a Dixie Chick making comments about Bush.

Anyway, it's all so lame. So feel free to flame away because it really doesn't bother me. I'll play fight and dick around the guys that get wound up enough to post about it because they are the ones trying to get Palin elected for 2012 and talking to Russians from their back window.

OK, enough bitchin'. Smackdown is on….


Pre-show and The Big Show is most unhappy. You call yourself a man Undertaker. He had you beaten and you used an illegal and banned submission hold to crush his larynx. The next time they cross paths he'll bury you Undertaker.

Pan down and we see Vicki and Chavo by her side. Happy Halloween! Undertaker will fight in his final Casket Match ever tonight. She tells us of a scary story of UT confined to a casket, battered and broken as his lungs gasp for air and his brain will explode in mind bending terror. He will take his last foul breath and his opponent will be….CHAVO!

WTF look form Chavo as he backs away.



We're in San Diego with J.R and Tazz…and what the hell are they wearing? Tazz is a GI Joe look-a-like but J.R is dressed as a sailor…and looks like the friggin' Stay Puft Marshmallow Man....

BE AFRAID!!!!!

Match #1: The Miz & John Morrison vs. Carlito & Primo
Primo and Morrison lock-up to start. Hammerlock by Primo is reversed by Morrison and rides him down to the mat. Backdrop attempted gets thwarted as Primo nails the deep armdrag and a headscissors gets a 2 count. Tag to Carlito who nails a dropkick for a 2 count. Some left hands and a clothesline gets another two for Carlito but Morrison manages to escape and make the tag. Miz comes in and takes control with the left hands but misses a corner charge and Carlito hits his own deep armdrag and gets another 2 count. Primo tags in and the brothers hit a double backdrop and double clothesline and Miz goes over the top rope to the floor. Morrison charges in and gets hiptossed over the top rope on Miz for his troubles. As we go to the ad break…

…we're back with a shoulder block by Primo and he reverses a Miz hiptoss attempt for another 2 count. Tag to Carlito and the brothers nail the drop toe hold/head butt combo for a close 2. Miz gets control with a blow to the throat and tags Morrison. He works over Carlito in the corner with some right hands but Carlito fights back and manages a tag to Primo, powerbomb double team gets a 2 counts as a Morrison fight back is halted when he telegraphs a backdrop attempt when he cops a kick to the face. Lefts from Primo but Morrison comes back with a springboard kick to the face for another 2 count. Morrison lays in the big boots and distracts he ref, which allows Miz to gets some cheap shots in. Morrison guillotines Primo using the bottom rope, which get s a 2 count. Primo powers up from a headlock and hits a jawbreaker as the Miz tags in and cuts the ring off so Primo can't do the same. He gets in some big left hands and a leg drop get a 2 count. Miz applies a full nelson, which Primo escapes using a victory roll but instead of stopping for a pin he continues the roll through and tags Carlito. He's in a with a springboard summersault, reverse elbow, a whip to the corner sees him eat boot off a charge. Miz tries his own charge but gets nailed by a sitdown powerbomb but the count is broken by Morrison whom Primo drop kicks to the floor. Miz dumps Primo as Carlito takes advantage of his distracting with a roll-up pin attempt which only gets two. Carlito goes to hit something off a second rope springboard but Morrison interferes which allows Miz to get the million dollar kneelift and the neckbreaker for thee.

(This was a decent tag match as everybody works at being a team and not four individuals in the ring. I understand needing to make M&M strong for their match with DX on Monday but such a clean win over the champs is counter productive. I don't mind them losing but HOW they lose is key as M&M could have thrown in massive amounts of cheating right out of the DX handbook and get the win that way. This would show they know how they are facing and have done their homework, still makes the brothers strong in defeat and sets up a future series of matches between the two teams as they worked really well together here. Miz is improving drastically at this point BTW. ***)


Match #2: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. The Brian Kendrick w/Ezekiel
Lock up to start, Wang turns it into an armdrag as The Kendrick objects to such treatment. Wang stomps on his foot just to be a dick. He applies a side head lock and nails a hurricanranna off a whip. Wang continues to pound on Kendrick and works him into he corner. Wang backs off and as Kendrick charges he trips him up and dropkick sees Kendrick roll himself onto the floor. Wang goes out and rolls him in but Kendrick nails him as he enter to take control. Armwringer by Kendrick and he kicks the elbow and then rams Wang's shoulder into the corner, hammerlock slam but Brian misses a knee drop from up top. Wang nails a kick to the legs and then the back of Kendrick's head and gets two. He hits a charge in the corner and nails a flying body press from the top rope. Kendrick takes advantage and drops Wang onto the second trunbuckle who pushed through Brians attempt at The Kendrick and he hits a tope rope moonsalt and Zeke pulls out Kendrick breaking up the 3 count for the DQ ending. After the bell Zeke hits the standing rock bottom and Brian nails The Kendrick for the final touch. He demands his hand be raised in victory but the ref refuses.

(Lots of quick action here as Wang looked good and the DQ ending was a surprise and may hint that Wang may be out of the Wellness doghouse. I don't care what happens with these two as long as they eventually get a 10 minute match as some stage. This was too short to really mean much but entertaining while it lasted. *3/4)

- Backstage and we see The Great Khali and Rajin walking backstage. Kung Fu Naki interrupts and asks Khali for tips on the art of seduction. Khali declines sighting size does matter.

- Out to the ring after a commercial break and Khali and Ranjin are rocking the Khali Kiss Cam. Rajin tells us in the 7 days since the last Khali cam emails have been pouring in for the Punjabi Playboy as woman all over the world are falling for Khali's charms. Rajin pick another fugly (read obvious plant) from the crowd and she gets a peck form Khali. She wants tongue however and after much crowd chanting Khali does the deed. Fugly falls over in delight as Khali acts like he swallowed Kozlov's vodka flavoured semen.


Match #3: Matt & Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry, Kane & MVP
Matt starts with Henry as he evades Mizzarks big air swings. Henry nails a bodyslam but misses an elbow drop. Matt works the armbar and tags in Jeff who continues the arm work. Jeff tags Matt as Henry throws Jeff off and catches Matt coming off the top rope but Jeff hits the chopblock for a 1 count. Matt runs into a bodycheck off a whip as MVP tags in and hits a series of knees into Matts mid-section, he hits a bodyslam but misses the legdrop attempt. Matt tags in Rey as they run the ropes, MVP misses a clothesline and tries to hit a slam but Rey counters into a headscissors and hits a seated dropkick for two. He applies the armbar and tags Matt who tags Jeff who tags Rey and the brothers plus Mysterio hit a double suplex/flying cross body combo and the Hardy's take out the heels in the corner. MVP fights out of a pin attempt and reverses a corner whip but eats boot on a charge. Rey tries to go up top but MVP catches him and puts him on his shoulders but Rey takes him down into the ropes but an attempted 619 gets stopped by Kane and he drags Rey to the floor. Back in an MVP hits a slam and tags Kane in who nail Rey in the head with a big boot, military press and Kane drops Mysterio to the mat in a heap and gets a 2 count. Whip into the heel corner and Kane tags in Henry who stand on Rey's torso, some clubbering forearms and Henry only gets a two count. MVP tag in and lays in some boots and applies a reverse bear hug on the mat. Rey fights up and MVP stops that with a side-suplex. Tag back in for Kane and he drives the shoulder into the mid-section to stay in control. He whips Rey to the other corner but eats feet on a charge and Rey reverses a side slam attempt. Hot tags by both men as Jeff and MVP square-off which ends badly for MVP, Jeff takes out Henry, whisper in the wind on MVP and the count is broken by Kane. Matt comes in and gets caught in a chokeslam attempt but Rey takes out Kane's leg, Matt clotheslines him to the floor and Rey with a press off the top rope. Matt hits a drop toehold on Henry onto the top turnbuckle. Jeff tries poetry in motion on MVP who escapes right into a Matt attempt who nails it and the swanton finishes.

(Okay match but I had a feeling this was clipped as Rey got none of his usually spots in and it seemed short for the people that were in the match. It was fun however as the action was constant and the Kane/Henry ring time was kept to a minimum. ***1/4)

- Kozlov is out to speak. He likes the nightlife and he loves to boogie. He likes all the Siberian bitches to go HOOOOO! Well maybe not but he wants HHH after being denied at Cyber Sunday. HHH comes down and says he knows things are a little slow getting threw to Russia and they would have only just have gotten Rocky. Well HHH helpfully skips a few sequels and lands on Rocky IV and how a big scary Russian came for Rocky. If Kozlov wants a title match he'll have to take that up with Vicki but if wants a fight, let's do it. Kozlov suddenly remembers Rocky IV from the flight over on Borscth Airways and beats feet as images of HHH training in the snow in a g-string flash in his head.

Match #4; Michelle McCool, Maria & Brie Bella vs. Maryse, Natalya &Victoria
The Divas are still dressed from Cyber Sunday. Victoria starts with Maria. They trade cartwheel counters of whips, Maria hits a spinning wheel kick but Vic nails a shot to the ribs. Victoria tags Nattie who misses a corner charge and Maria tags in Brie. She hit s some forearms and takes down Nattie who powers up with Brie on her shoulders and hits a samoan drop for a two. Tag to Maryse who hits a backbreaker for two. Tag to Victoria who modifies an F5 into a side slam. She throws Brie to the outside but can't stop her from going under the ring. Suddenly Bella is back out full of beans. Back in the ring and Bella tags McCool who hits Victoria with a clotheslines and then two drop kicks, a kick and then nails the throwback. She takes out the heels in the corner with a slide. McCool takes Vitoria to the face corner but Maria blind tags herself in, flying cross body form the top take the pinfall. Michelle is not happy at being clitblocked by Maria.

(Typical Divas match. Short, sloppy and only there to forward the Maria/MCCool storyline. ½*)



Match #5: The Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero – Casket match
Chavo plays smart early and evade UT like he's a fatal heart attack. He goes near the casket and runs away in fear right into the boot of UT. UT hits a headbutt in the corner, big right hand and he throws Chavo to the outside. Whip into the barricade and he drops Chavo's head onto the casket. UT tries to stuff Chavo into the casket but when he can't he just slams the lid on his head instead. Some more ramming into the casket as The Big Show watches form the aisle. Some big soup bone rights from UT and he walks up the aisle to TBS who wisely backs up. ‘Taker turn his attention back to Chavo and tries a running boot to the face but Chavo ducks and UT wishbones himself on the casket. Chavo hits a series of right hands but gets caught while trying a dive form the apron and gets rammed into the barricade. They go back into the ring and Chavo sneaks in a DDT on UT and motions for TBS to come in but a Zombie sit-up stops that idea. Chavo grabs a chair but walks into a backdrop. Whip into the corner by ‘Taker and he hits a running clothesline, snakes eyes. He motion to dump Chavo in the casket but TBS closes the lid before anything can happen. UT is not impressed but Chavo hits a chair into the back of the knees before anything can happen. Show is now in and beats down Undertaker. A Show charge goes astray and he goes over the top rope with UT assistance, tombstone for Chavo and that's all she wrote.

(Okay match as Undertaker still amazes at his age and in his physical condition. It was shortish but the story told within helps further the Big Show/UT storyline and continues Chavo's continual abuse at the hands of Vicki and Show. **)

Backstage with Vicki and seems Kozlov used his ears and took HHH's advice and asked for a match. Vicki will give him a title match at Survivor Series if he beats Undertaker next week.