411's WWE Smackdown Report 11.21.08

Posted by Randy Harrison on 11.21.2008

The regular guy is gone and I'm here just in time to see Triple H and Jeff Hardy have a great match, The Miz and Morrison pull one over on Jesse and Festus and The Undertaker threatens Big Show with a casket. Come on Taker, that is SOOOOO 1998....

I'm going to be honest and let you guys know that I'm not incredibly familiar with the product as I haven't had time to watch Smackdown or ECW in a while, but the boss man sent out an SOS for some help, so here I am!




We start out the show with a recap of last week including Jeff Hardy's crazy promo, his win over the Undertaker and the aftermath with Vickie Guerrero before we have PYRO~! JR and Tazz are in the UK and they talk up tonight's main event with Jeff Hardy and Triple H, which if Hardy wins earns him a shot at the WWE Championship at the Survivor Series in a triple-threat match with Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov. As if that wasn't big enough, we're going to get to see The Undertaker reading The Big Show his last rites!! That should be spellbinding.


Match One:
R-Truth and Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin and Mark Henry

I'm somewhat aware of the history these four guys have, but not a lot. Benjamin and Truth start out with Benjamin getting the fast start with some knees and forearms, but Truth hammers back and whips Benjamin in for a big reverse elbow. Standing arm-wringer from Truth and he tags in Hardy for a double-team. Double reverse elbow drops Benjamin and Hardy gets a two-count. Hardy works over the arm and tags Truth back in and he hammers on Benjamin in the corner. Snap mare by Truth into a seated half-nelson and Hardy gets the crowd going behind Truth as Benjamin gets back to his feet. Benjamin with a shot off the ropes into a forearm shiver and he drops Truth down for a two-count with a snap mare before working the CHINLOCK!! Tony Atlas comes into the picture at the bottom and his sleeveless dress shirt is the shit. Truth gets a dropkick after breaking free of the chinlock and covers Benjamin for a two-count. Tag to Hardy and they double-team Benjamin again, hitting a hip toss and then double-clotheslining him out to the floor before we hit a commercial.

Random Smackdown Observation: Jim Ross is WAY less animated on Smackdown than he was on Raw. I don't know if it's because this show is taped and comes off as sterile or if he's less than enthused about being stuck on the B show, but it's kind of unnerving to hear him being so calm. It's like listening to Jim Ross and Tazz call the action in Smackdown vs. Raw 2009 or something.

Back from the break and Hardy is working a hammerlock on Benjamin before he eats a pair of elbows. Hardy fires back with a shot and tries for the Twist of Fate, but Benjamin pushes him off into Henry. Henry waffles Hardy and Benjamin gets a two-count before they make an exchange. Henry drops down on Hardy and hammers away before getting a cover for two. He forearms Hardy down and just stands on him in the corner a la Andre The Giant. Tag to Benjamin and he drops Hardy with a right hand before going back to the dreaded chinlock. FEEL THE DISCOMFORT!! Benjamin lets it go in favor of more exciting kicks and punches, covering Hardy for a long two-count. Tag to Henry and he just punts Hardy in the ribs while Benjamin holds him. Right hand to the gut and a forearm from Henry before he slams Hardy down for a two-count. Irish whip from Henry and Hardy ducks under a clothesline before running right into a DRIPPING WET MANLY BEARHUG!! Henry rams Hardy backfirst into the corner and tries for a snake eyes-looking thing, but Hardy slips over his back to try a sunset flip. Hardy can't get Henry over and avoids a Henry butt drop, leading to two hot tags. Truth does his flippy offense to avoid Benjamin and kicks him in the face before firing up with some dancing. Benjamin tries a wheelbarrow suplex off of a Truth Irish whip, but Truth counters to a bulldog. That gets him a one-count, but Henry comes in to break up the proceedings. Both men are down, but Benjamin gets the advantage with a Samoan drop off the ropes. Hardy comes across the ring and kicks Henry off the apron and in the resulting melee, Tony Atlas gets knocked down and Hardy comes off the apron with a splash on Henry. Inside the ring, Truth gets up in the corner and Benjamin tries for the Blinger Splash but misses and Truth hits the CORKSCREW ELBOW into the WUSSUP AXE KICK!! There's the cover and there's the three-count!!

Winners: R-Truth and Matt Hardy (pinfall, Wussup Axe Kick)

Tazz and JR talk about Survivor Series at the desk and throw it to yet another John Cena return video. Yes, I get it he's coming back from an injury. Honestly, with the amount of hype they're giving this comeback you'd think that he was coming back from nail holes to his hands and feet.

We head to the back and Chesty LaRue with the WWE Champion Triple H, who appears to be staring at her sweet titties. Trips asks her if they're real because they're magnificent and that he can't take his eyes off of them. He calls them perfectly shaped and round and askes to touch them. He reaches out and....grabs her pearl necklace. -sighing- Trips says that there's a difference between thinking something and knowing something. He says that Hardy and Kozlov think that they're good enough to be the best, and that he KNOWS he's the best. That brings Vladimir Kozlov into the picture and he tells him that his days as Double Double E Champeen are over. Kiss your wife and family goodbye Triple H, cause Kozlov will BREAK YOU!!

We head further into the back and we see Maria with Festus, talking about how he's such a good listener. Miz and Morrison show up to break up the party, with Morrison saying that Maria's photos on WWE.com are hot, and that it's amazing what they can do with photo shopping. Morrison says he doesn't bring girls like Maria to The Palace of Wisdom, but that doesn't mean she can't dream about it. They fuck around with Festus and then make their exit.

Random Commercial Observation: Heidi Klum can come play Guitar Hero with me whenever she damn well wants to as long as she's wearing that outfit.

We get an Auto Zone flashback of Miz and Morrison taking on Shawn Michaels and Rey Mysterio, a match that saw Morrison ROCK Michaels with Sweet Chin Music to let Miz get the cover for the three-count. That leads to.....


Match Two:
The Miz and John Morrison vs. Jesse and Festus

Well NO WONDER they were fucking with him in the back. The bell rings and Festus does his thing, chasing Miz out of the ring. Morrison gets a good kick in on a charging Festus but eats a right hand before Festus pushes him into the corner for some soup bones to the gut. Tag to Jesse and he drags Morrison down for a one-count. Irish whip from Jesse and Morrison ducks under a clothesline to hit his SWEET springboard kick off the second rope. Miz tags in and hits a big clothesline in the corner before moving to a reverse chinlock/camel clutch variation. Jesse gets to his feet and elbows out of the hold, but Miz hammers on him and tries a suplex. Jesse gets out of it and rolls to his corner, tagging in Festus for some DROOLING CLOBBER TIME!! Reverse elbow off the ropes and a big right hand from Festus on Miz before he hits a HUGE bicycle kick. Morrison heads to the timekeeper's table to ring the bell which puts Festus right back into his retard coma. Miz starts rocking Festus with big shots and hits the REALITY CHECK FOR THE PIN!! BRILLIANT!! Miz lays some shots in on Jesse after the match and Morrison drops him with his twisting neckbreaker finish. Miz and Morrison take the ring bell with them as a trophy, prompting JR to get in a great line about getting it through customs. They get up to the ramp and ring the bell, which means Festus is in a rage and he comes CHARGING up the ramp after them and they hightail it off the stage.

Winners: The Miz and John Morrison (pinfall, Reality Check)

Back from the commercial and we see highlights of the WWE's tour through Europe including the UK, France, Germany and elsewhere. Tazz and JR put over the WWE Universe and we get a ton of still shots of the crowds and the fun with the fans.


Match Three:
Jeff Hardy vs. Triple H (Hardy Wins A Title Shot at Survivor Series With a Victory)

A little early for the main event, so there's either going to be some shenanigans, or The Undertaker is going to get the main event slot to give his last rites to the Big Show. Hardy's face paint looks a LOT less cooler this week as he looks like a cross between a raccoon and an emo teen that cried until their mascara ran. The bell rings and they stare at each other and Hardy fakes a handshake to PEARL HARBOR TRIPLE H!!! He punches Triple H into the corner and tries an Irish whip, but Trips reverses it. Hardy gets a headscissors and attacks Triple H in the corner, pounding him with right hands until Triple H hits the floor. Hardy comes off the apron and hits a FLYING CLOTHESLINE to Triple H on the floor and slings him back into the ring. Hardy with a double-leg pickup into the legdrop to the gut and he hits a low dropkick for a two-count. Hardy with a pair of clotheslines and he kicks Trips into the corner, punching until the referee pulls him off. Hardy tries the springing low dropkick in the corner, but Triple H avoids it. He sets up for the Pedigree, but Hardy reverses, catapulting Triple H into the corner and hitting a reverse Russian leg sweep before going up top. Hardy comes down off the top as Triple H avoids and backs away from the corner. Hardy tries a flying bodypress off the ropes but ends up missing it and going under the bottom rope to the floor just as it happens to be time for a commercial!!

We come back to see Triple H stomping away at Jeff Hardy in the corner before dropping a hard knee to the back of Hardy's head. We see that during the commercial, Triple H rammed Hardy into the ring post. Irish whip out of the corner by Triple H and he takes a minute to compose himself before dragging Hardy to his feet. Another HUGE Irish whip into the corner by Triple H and he covers Hardy for a two-count before picking him up for a backbreaker. Another long two-count and Trips comes up limping before picking Hardy up. Hardy goes to the gut with a couple of shots and bounces off the ropes, but eats a NASTY clothesline!! 1....2.....Hardy JUST kicks out!! Triple H slows the pace and locks in an abdominal stretch as Hardy tries to fight out of it, finally breaking free with some punches. Hardy comes off the ropes and Triple H ducks under and locks the abdominal stretch right back on, CRANKING on it and making the referee ask Hardy if he gives up. Hardy fights out of it again and tries an Irish whip, ducking for a back bodydrop, but Triple H hits the facebuster knee for another two-count. Triple H picks Hardy up and Hardy hits the jawjacker out of nowhere and both men are down!! Hardy's up to his feet first, coming off the ropes RIGHT INTO THE SPINEBUSTER!!! SPINE ON THE PINE TIME, BITCHES!! Trips loads up and tries to lock in the Pedigree, but Hardy takes him over with a backdrop to reverse it!! Hardy heads up and hits the WHISPER IN THE WIND!! BOTH MEN ARE BACK DOWN!! The replay shows that for once Hardy hit that perfectly. Hardy gets back to his feet and hits ANOTHER Whisper in the Wind, covering Triple H for a long, LONG two-count. Hardy with punches and an Irish whip on Triple H into a headlock clothesline that gets Hardy another two-count. Hardy hits the mule kick and puts Triple H back into the corner, hitting the springing dropkick he missed earlier for a two-count. Hardy whips Triple H into the corner and Trips goes over the top to the floor from the momentum. Hardy's out on the floor after him and he rams Triple H's head into the announce table. Hardy puts Triple H back in and hits a springboard legdrop that gets him two and ninety-nine one hundredths. Hardy signals for the Twist of Fate and tries it, but Triple H reverses it. Hardy with a front suplex and he's heading up top for the Swanton, but HE MISSES!! HERE COMES VLADIMIR KOZLOV!! Triple H hammers him off the apron and as Hardy tries to attack Trips, he misses and planchas over the top onto Kozlov!!! Hardy back on the apron and Triple H tries a suplex back in. Hardy slips over the back and gets a roll-up...1...2...3!! Hardy's in the main event!!! Triple H gets up and shakes Hardy's hand and Kozlov just WAFFLES THEM BOTH with clotheslines!! Kozlov attacks Triple H in the corner and Hardy tries for the save but eats a fallaway slam for his trouble. Triple H tries a charging attack and eats a headbutt to the chest. Irish whip from Kozlov into a POWERSLAM!! Kozlov talks SOME RUSSIAN SHIT on Hardy and Triple H before posing in all his glory. MOTHER RUSSIA WILL FINISH YOU!!

Winner: Jeff Hardy (pinfall, roll-up)

Random Smackdown Observation #2: That was a great match. I really enjoyed that from beginning to end, which has been hard to say about most WWE matches that I've seen in the past few months. I like that they had Hardy win, but it sucks that they kind of gave him the bitchiest win possible. If he doesn't parlay that into beating Kozlov to win the belt on Sunday, I think that his big push might end up being another one that ends in a fizzle rather than a bang


We see THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel walking in the back and Kendrick smacks the drink out of some poor sap's hand. HELL YES, TAKE THAT YOU TEA-DRINKING MOTHERFUCKER!!


Match Three:
Primo Colon and Carlito vs. THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson

Hurrapop: He criticizes Kendrick's dancing, asking if Koko B. Ware knows that he's doing the bird. He's just saying.

Kendrick and Primo start out with Primo beating down Kendrick and talking some smack to Zeke. Kendrick attacks from behind, catching him with some shots before Primo takes over again and tags in Carlito. Carlito kicks away at Kendrick in the corner, whipping him into the ropes for a reverse elbow. Kendrick crawls over and tags in Zeke, who just HAMMERS down Carlito after eating some of Carlito's pussy-ass punches. He tries to hit a Snake Eyes on Carlito, but Carlito goes over the top, hitting some punches and using the corner to put his boots into Zeke's face before Jackson CRUSHES him with a shoulderblock. Jackson hits a big bodyslam and tags in Kendrick, who comes over the top and stomps on his arm. Kicks and stomps from Kendrick into a surfboard move, but Carlito gets free of it, countering to a kick in the gut. They trade misses and Carlito tags in Primo, who charges in and knocks Ezekiel one before taking Kendrick down with a reverse elbow. Primo with some shots in the corner and he Irish whips Kendrick into the corner for a HUGE monkey flip. Irish whip from Colon and he hits a sloppy-looking wheelbarrow suplex into a roll-up for a two-count. Carlito and Ezekiel end up in the ring and Ezekiel throws Carlito out to the floor with a press slam. He drags Kendrick back over to their corner and makes a tag, charging in and KILLING PRIMO WITH A URANAGE!!! Jackson covers and you can count to three hundred because it's all over!!! Kendrick puts his ring jacket back on and gets down with the get down after the match.

Winners: THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson (pinfall, Jackson uranage)


We come back from the commercial to see another Kizarny promo video. Yeah, that should help bring the WWE stock back up to $15 a share in no time. From there it's a video package with The Big Show and The Undertaker, running down the 438th incarnation of this particular feud. Long story short, Big Show's not afraid of The Undertaker and he's challenged him to a Casket Match, which I'm sure will end very well for Paul.

We cut to the back and see Hardy pacing around asking if Kozlov is going to take his heart out of his chest or if Triple H is going to take away his brass ring again. He promises that he's going to take what's his this Sunday and that he'll be the new WWE Champion. Kind of a cool promo in that it was shot very much like the old-school ECW promos which made it look completely different from anything on WWE TV today.


Match Four:
MVP vs. James Mason

Mason is a hometown jobber who is presumably there because he took the best ass-kicking out of al the other British jobbers. If MVP wins this match, he reaches his incentive clause in his contract and gets a big bonus. If not he owes Smackdown a shit-ton of money. MVP understandably looks incredibly confident. Trip takedown from MVP into a quick two-count and he hits some VICIOUS crossfaces before whipping Mason in for a BIG kick. MVP comes close to finishing him off and HERE COMES THE GREAT KHALI!! He and MVP talk some shit and MVP gets distracted, allowing Mason to sneak up and hit a roll-up for the three-count!!! No incentive bonus for MVP!! Khali hits him with the KHALI CHOP FROM THE FLOOR and puts MVP on his ass!!

Winner: James Mason (pinfall, roll-up)

Post-Match Hurrapop: He's running out of things to say about MVP. He's just saying.

Random Smackdown Observation # 3:I don't know when they started those Hurrapops, but I think that they're actually pretty funny. Maybe it's just the MST3K fan in me, but people talking smack on other people like that is always funny to me. It's about time that Helms had a personality that wasn't completely lame. The only problem is that it's going to be hard to translate that into his comeback, but for now it's fun stuff.


Match Five:
The Bella Twins vs. Natalya and Victoria

One of the Bellas and Victoria start out with Victoria grabbing an arm-wringer, but Bella cartwheels out of it into an arm-wringer of her own. They do a Mexican amrdrag sequence and Bella makes the tag to her sister Brie. They hit a double-leglock deal and that gets a two-count, but Victoria manages to kick out and make a tag to Natalya. Natalya and Brie talk some shit and Brie slaps the goatee off of her, hitting a standing sunset flip for a two-count. Brie with a jumping snap mare and she tags in before making another tag. Irish whip from Nikki gets reversed by Natalya and Bella ends up taking a kick to the back from Victoria on the outside. Tag to Victoria and she hits her swinging backbreaker into a two-count. Nikki makes the tag to Brie and she knocks Natalya off the apron before hitting a pair of dropkicks on Victoria and a monkey flip. She charges in and hits Victoria with a clothesline in the corner, but Victoria catches her with a boot to the gut into THE WIDOW'S PEAK!! There's the pin and she gets a two-count before Bella breaks up the pinfall attempt. The referee sends Natalya outside to the apron and the twins pull the old switcheroo, allowing Nikki to get the roll-up for the pinfall!!

Winners: The Bella Twins (pinfall, switcheroo roll-up)


After the commercial The Undertaker's music hits and he gets into the ring in total darkness with a casket set up in the middle of the ring. He says that he and Big Show will settle their differences in a casket match and tells Big Show to look at how beautiful the casket is. He calls it Show's final resting place on Earth and that once he confines Show to the brass prison, only then will his debt be paid. He goes on a bit more, and HERE COMES THE BIG SHOW!! He's got Vickie Guerrero and Chavito with him as well as he stands on the outside and eyeballs Taker before finally talking. He calls The Undertaker's promo "mumbo-jumbo" and says that it doesn't scare him at all. He says that The Undertaker has no power over him, but Show has power. Show shows his hand and says that its going to be the power that puts him in the casket. The ring goes comepletely dark and when the lights come back up, VICKIE GUERRERO'S IN THE GOOZLE AND SCREAMING!! The Undertaker grabs her and THROWS HER IN THE CASKET SLAMMING THE LID!!! CHAVITO'S IN THE RING!! Soupbones on Chavito and while Undertaker has his back turned, Show sneaks in and lifts the lid to get Vickie out, looking full of the heebie-jeebies while he does it. Undertaker still beating on Chavo and there's A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!! CHAVO'S IN THE COFFIN!!! SHOW LOOKS LIKE HE SHIT HIS PANTS!! WE'RE ALL OUTTA TIME IN THE UK!!!