411’s WWE Smackdown Report 01.02.09

Welcome to 411’s Smackdown Report for 1.2.09. I hope everyone had a Happy New Year as 2009 looks to be a good and very different year for Wrestling. The Christmas trees are finally taken down and everyone is back to their normal selves. Tonight features the Hardys teaming up for the first time since Matt and Jeff won the ECW title and WWE title respectively. This should be a great show! Let’s get things going!

From East Rutherford, New Jersey

Tonight’s Main Event will feature the WWE Champion Jeff Hardy teaming with his brother ECW Champion Matt Hardy to battle the Rated R Superstar Edge and The Big Show! Vickie Guerrero comes to the ring with a smile on her face and tells the fans Happy New Year! Vickie says that the Road to WrestleMania will begin at the Royal Rumble. She announces that WWE Champion Jeff Hardy will be defending the WWE title against Edge in the Main Event at the Royal Rumble! Wow. Should be solid. Vickie announces that the Smackdown competitors that will be in the thirty-man Royal Rumble match will be announced later tonight. Triple H‘s music hits and he looks angry. Vickie backpedals and stays in the ring. Triple H tells Vickie Happy New Year. Triple H wants Vickie to announce his name in the Royal Rumble match right now. Vickie tells him he’ll have to wait until later on tonight. The fans begin to chant Triple H, and by fans I mean little kids. Surprised he didn’t say the WWE Universe. Triple H whips out a Vickie Guerrero action figure. Triple H throws at more fat jokes at Vickie Guerrero. This really does disgust me considering she put on some weight with her husband Eddie passing away. She announces that Triple H is in the Rumble. The kids cheer. Triple H tells Vickie that he was playing with her doll earlier and took it’s clothes off. Triple H says to Vickie that her action figure is hot. Triple H says he found nude photos of Vickie Guerrero on the internet. Triple H claims they are on eBay. Triple H tells Vickie that the auction closes in five minutes and that ChavoG2009 keeps outbidding him. Vickie runs out of the ring and up the ramp. Triple H’s music hits. What a poor segment.

Finlay, Hornswoggle, Runjin Singh, and The Great Khali are shown backstage taking a photoshoot. They are out next!

An Umaga return promo is shown. Wahoo! I still believe Umaga should’ve been WWE Champion already. Hopefully he gets his due when he returns.

Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder -VS- Finlay/The Great Khali

Hawkins and Ryder are shown in the ring when the commercial break returns. Finlay comes to the ring with Hornswoggle. I thought they taped ECW with RAW, so why are ECW “entertainers” still wrestling on Smackdown? Khali’s new music is still a song that makes me wanna stand up and rip my underpants off and in front of the mirror and moon myself. Ryder and Hawkins are former WWE Tag Team Champions, Ross says. At least they acknowledge history. Michael Cole would always ignore it when he was on Smackdown. The bell sounds as Khali and Khali gives them the double Noggin Knocker. Hornswoggle runs in from under the ring and does it again. Khali tags in Finlay, and Finlay goes to work on Hawkins. Finlay sits on Hawkin’s chest and gets a two count. European uppercuts follow and a short arm Clothesline.Hawkins dodges and sends Finlay into the turnbuckles. Finlay rolls to the floor and Hawkins attempts a Baseball Slide, but Finlay pulls up the apron. Ryder takes a clothesline on the floor and Hawkins backs Finlay into the corner. Ryder tags in and puts Finlay in a headlock. Khali, who is standing on the apron, still has that stupid smile on his face. Ryder backs Finlay into the turnbuckles and punches. Finlay and Ryder collide heads. Finlay tags in Khali and Khali tosses Ryder. Couple of clotheslines connect from Khali to Ryder. Hawkins runs in and takes an elbow. A chop to Hawkins, and he falls. Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge on Ryder for a three count!

Winners: The Great Khali and Finlay. *1/2. Basic tag formula. I really think Hawkins and Ryder could’ve been something as a tag team, but WWE loves the kiddies.

Hornswoggle comes in and hits a Tadpole Splash. Hornswoggle and Khali/Finlay do the Do-Si-Do. Runjin Singh joins in as well. Oh gosh.

We’re right outside of New York City, also known as the Pervert Capital of the US. Eve Torres is backstage with former WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool. We get a recap of Maryse’s title win from last week with McCool attacking the Special Guest Referee of that match, Maria. McCool says they all used to be friends and that Maria is jealous and cost her the title last week. Torres says that McCool needs to apologize to Maria. McCool says Torres should stick to what she goes best, and shoves the microphone to her mouth.

Edge is backstage with Vickie furious over the naked pictures on eBay. Big Show says he saw the pictures, crowd laughs, and Vickie storms out of the room. Edge and Big Show have a little argument. Big Show tells Edge that he should be embarrassed. Edge says that embarrassing is being knocked out by a Flyweight at WrestleMania. Ouch. Edge tells Big Show to win the Rumble and beat Jeff Hardy and face him at WrestleMania.

Jesse/Festus -VS- THE Brian Kendick/Ezekiel Jackson

Wahoo! Kendick is the best thing on Smackdown. He gets a good sized pop from the crowd. Ahmed Johnson, ermm I mean Ezekiel follows Kendrick to the ring for this tag match. Kendrick does his dance all the way to the ring. Festus snaps when the bell sounds and knocks Jackson and Kendrick down. Clothesline for Ezekiel and a chop for Kendrick. Scoopslam to Kendrick from Festus and Festus tags in Jesse. Jesse comes in, covers, and gets a two count. Jesse sticks Kendrick into a submission. A very small, “Let’s Go Kendrick”, chant is heard. Crowd goes silent once the submission is applied. Kendrick gets up and he catches an elbow. Jesse covers again and gets two. Jesse tags in Festus. Festus hits Kendrick right in the throat and starts jumping around and sits on Kendrick’s chest. Kendrick rebounds back with a kick. Kendrick jumps into Festus’ arms, but Festus drops him. Kendrick tags in Ezekiel who hits a chop block on Festus. Ezekiel Jackson targets the leg of Festus with punches and stomps. Ezekiel tags in Kendrick, and TBK jumps off the top rope and stomps on Festus’ leg. Kendrick kicks the quad of Festus. Fesuts tosses Kendrick into the air and tags in Jesse. Jesse goes crazy. Jesse hits Kendrick with a punch in the face and some clotheslines followed by more punches. Jesse goes for a snapping Fisherman Suplex. Ezekiel comes in when Festus does and throws him to the floor. Back suplex by Jesse to Kendrick. Ezekiel tags in and hits a modified Rock Bottom, called the High Impact, I guess, for a three count.

Winners: THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson. *3/4. Almost the same exact match as the Finlay/Khali vs. Hawkins/Ryder match, only the heels won this one. Come on WWE, change your formula up a bit.

A Hardys vs. Big Show/Edge preview is shown. Is this tag night or something?

Vladimir Kozlov -VS- Hurricane Helms

Oh great, Helms’ push is over. My prediction is that he gets squashed in this match and then released after th Royal Rumble. Helms the Pirate comes to the ring with a white doo rag on. I’m scared. Bell sounds and the two circle each other for a bit. Kozlov slugs Hurricane and hits him with some shoulder thrusts in the corner, followed by a boot. Arm throw into a a keylock. Hurricane fights up, but takes knees to the face and a drop chest first into the top turnbuckle followed by a kick into the gut and a fallaway slam. Kozlov whips Helms into the ropes, but catches a kick in the face. Helms dropkicks the knee of Kozlov, runs off the ropes, and catches a Battering Ram. A spine buster is followed to finish the bout. I feel sorry for Helms.

Winner: Vladimir Kozlov. 3/4*. Squash match. Helms’ legitimacy is gone. Bring back the Cruiserweight title for Hurricane. Kozlov rolls on.

We head to a commercial and Up Next the Royal Rumble participants for Smackdown will be announced!

Jim Ross is in the ring with a microphone. He speaks about the Royal Rumble. I notice a Ring of Honor hoodie in the backround. Great. Ross says he’s here to announce some of the participants:

-Triple H
-The Big Show
-Vladimir Kozlov
-United States Champion: Shelton Benjamin

Ross tries to continue the list, but Shelton Benjamin interrupts. Benjamin tells Ross that he shouldn’t be announced as a regular competitor, but as the Odds On Favorite to win the Royal Rumble match. Ross leaves the ring. Shelton holds the United States Championship belt in the ring and says he’s been the champion for six months strong. Shelton tells everyone that no one can be compared to him. There is no comparison. A voice goes over the P.A. saying “I think you forgot someone.” A bell gongs and Undertaker appears in the ring and Chokeslams Shelton! Undertaker will be in the Royal Rumble match! Undertaker poses.

A Kizarny promo at a carnival is shown. Oh great. He speaks some random language. It’s Showtime Tonight!

Michelle McCool’s music hits, and the crowd boo’s her. Good. McCool grabs a microphone, not good. She says that she owes Maria an apology. Maria can’t be here because of McCool. She apologizes to Maria, who isn’t there. McCool also says she needs to apologize to Eve Torres. Beatdown in t-minus three minutes. Eve comes to the ring area and enters the ring. All of the security guards turn around and stare at Eve, priceless. McCool says she’s sorry to Eve. Eve accepts the apology and they hug. Eve Torres exits the ring and McCool runs out and attacks her! Perverted! McCool throws Torres into the ring barrier. Ross says,”that’s not cool at all.” Hilarious Jimothy. Hilarious. McCool drives a knee into Torres’ face then a foot into her face. McCool has a psycho Ken Shamrock look on her face. Lots of hair pulling follows. Shoes are scattered everywhere looking like a Macy’s on the day after Thanksgiving. Torres is thrown into the ringpost and McCool backpedals up the ramp as the referees tend to Eve Torres.

Chavo Guerrero is backstage with Vickie talking about the pictures. Hopefully this won’t turn into an incest angle. Triple H barges in and goes face-to-face with Vickie. Vickie Guerrero demands an apology. She tells him that he will have to compete in a Triple Jeopardy match, next week which consists of a Tables Match, a Handicap Match, and a Last Man Standing Match to qualify for the Royal Rumble match.

We head to a commercial.

MVP is in the ring with a microphone when we return from commercial. MVP says to get this over with already.

Kizarny -VS- MVP

I mistakingly said that Kizarny was Tempest from the Disciples of the New Church in TNA, but I was corrected in the comment area last week. He was known as Sinn. Kizarny has carnival misc and handshakes fans and such. I give this gimmick about three weeks. Kizarny goes for a backslide, but MVP kicks out at two. Two hiptosses follow, then a scoopslam and a legdrop. Kizarny dropkicks MVP to the floor then nails a Suicide dive through the middle rope onto MVP on the floor. Kizarny rolls him into the ring and gets a two count. A crossbody from the second rope from Kizarny is next and that gets two as well. MVP headbutts Kizarny in the chest and throws him to the floor. Good for him. MVP slams Kizarny onto the padded barrier’s on the outside. Must be painful. MVP rolls him into the ring for a two count. MVP hits an elbow and some punches before going for a go behind. Kizarny battles to his feet and catches a knee to the midsection. MVP with more knees and punches. Kizarny is then slammed and kneed in the face for a two count. MVP is actually getting offense this week. Shocking. MVP applies a modified Bearhug. Kizarny is trying to get the crowd into things, but fails miserably. He battles back to his feet, but MVP nails a Belly-to-Belly throw. Kizarny slowly gets up and hits a jawbreaker type maneuver. MVP charges and catches a dropkick into his knee. Kizarny nails a legdrop/baseball slide combo. Kizarny slams MVP’s head into each turnbuckle three times and stomps MVP in the chest, drags him out, and gets a two count. Crowd is completely silenced. MVP slams Kizarny’s knee into his face. Kizarny then hits a double underhook DDT that rolls over into a pinning combination for a three count and the victory over the future Royal Rumble 2009 winner.

Winner: Kizarny.*1/4.. Lackluster debut for Kizarny.

Mr. Kennedy comes out and gets the microphone. He tells MVP that MVP just got whooped. He plugs his DVD again. Repetitive comments rule.

The Hardys vs. Edge and The Big Show is Next! We head to commercial.

We come back with a look at NYC and buildings, again. Third time tonight. Tazz and Jim Ross talk about Triple H’s Triple Jeopardy match next week. Should be interesting. Opponents will be decided by Vickie Guerrero. Also next week, WWE Tag Team Champions Primo and Carlito Colon will be defending the titles against THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson! Great news, Kendrick still in the tag division. /sarcasm.

Edge comes out and gets a microphone and tells the fans that they constantly blame him and everything is always his fault. He says that everyone thought that he was taking advantage of Vickie Guerrero. He says that he is still in love with Vickie, and he is still the love of her life. Sick. Perverted. He says that everyone thinks that he attacked Jeff Hardy at the Survivor Series in the hotel. Edge claims that Jeff is a screw-up. Correct statement by Edge. Edge tells the fans that they can blame him when Jeff Hardy isn’t the WWE Champion.

WWE Champion Jeff Hardy/ECW Champion Matt Hardy -VS- Edge/The Big Show

Jeff Hardy has a crimson/pink colored mask and looks like the nWo Wolfpac Sting. Jeff gets a mega pop from the previously silent crowd. The crowd is very hot for the Hardys. Who would’ve thought back when the Hardy’s debuted that they would both be World Champions. Matt and Edge begin the bout and they tie-up. Matt armdrags Edge over. Edge gets to his feet and stares Matthew down. Edge and Matt lock-up and end up in the corner. Matt nails another armdrag. They lock-up again and Matt targets the arm again. Edge reversed into a headlock. Ross plugs WWE 24/7 and claims the Hardy’s are students of the game. Matt tags in Jeff and they double team Edge and The Big Show. Edge is elevated over the top rope and The Big Show catches him. Jeff and Matt high five as we head to a commercial break.

We are back with Edge and Jeff Hardy in the ring with Edge on the offensive. The show during the commercial that The Big Show grabbed Jeff and slammed him to change the momentum of the battle. Jeff nails the Whisper in the Wind for a two count! Jeff tags in his brother Matt and Matt bodyslams Edge. Matt Hardy misses a Moonsault. Edge will attempt to become a SEVEN-time World Champion at the Rumble. Watch out Triple H. Edge tags in The Big Show and he slugs Matt Hardy. Big Show then chops Matt Hardy’s chest. Big Show suplexes Matt to the canvas. Impressive. Big Show leans off of the ropes and drops an elbow on Matt Hardy for a two count. Big Show tosses Matt Hardy into the corner and tags Edge. Edge throws elbows at Matt Hardy and taunts him. Edge continues to punch the ECW Champion Matt Hardy and hits a splash onto the perched Matt Hardy who was lying on the middle rope. Edge goes to an elevated armbar stretch. The crowd begins cheering and chanting for Matt Hardy to get up and tag in the WWE Champion and his brother Jeff Hardy. Matt fights to his feet and fights out, but catches a knee to the gut. Big Show comes in following a tag and nails the same arm that Edge had been working on. Solid formula here. Big Show lifts Matt Hardy up by his injured arm and lets go! Big Show picks Matt up again by Matt’s injured arm and chops him and punches him in the body a couple of times before tagging in Edge. Edge goes for the cover and gets a two count. Edge sinks in a front headlock. Jeff is trying to get the fans going to will his brother to get the tag. Matt, still in the headlock fights out, but Edge hangs on and hits a Sunset flip for two. Clothesline for two by Edge again! Edge goes back to a Hammerlock on that same arm of Matt Hardy. I’m really digging the formula in this bout. Matt gets out and runs off the ropes and Edge boots him right in the face! Big Show then drops off of the apron and starts walking up the ramp! He’s pulling a Sid on Hogan in 1992! Edge, who was distracted, let’s Matt to his feet who goes for the Twist of Fate, but it’s reversed and Edge slams him back first for two! Edge looks for a Spear, but Matt Hardy boots him in the face and hits a Side Effect! Crowd begins cheering and clapping as Matt tags in Jeff Hardy! Jeff goes bonkers with dropkicks and such for a two count. Jeff tags in Matt Hardy and they send Edge into the corner and Jeff jumps off Matt. Matt Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and tags in Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy goes to the top rope and connects with the Swanton Bomb for THREE!

Winners: WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and ECW Champion Matt Hardy. ***1/4. Great formula with the working on the arm. Hot tag from Matt to Jeff also worked well. Kind of felt like a Handicap match though with The Big Show only getting limited ring time.

Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy pose with their titles as the show ends.

Final Thoughts: Good show here. The Main Event was the best Smackdown Main Event since Jeff Hardy/Triple H from a month or so back. The Royal Rumble is starting to build-up with five participants already named, and could be six if Triple H can win the Triple Jeopardy match next week. All in all, good show. Kizarny’s debut was very lackluster though. It was nice to see the Undertaker finally appear on Smackdown again as well.