The Name on the Marquee: Saturday Night's Main Event #10 (03.14.87)

Posted by Adam Nedeff on 06.18.2009

Nothing will get in the way of Hulk Hogan & Andre Giant... except for 18 other guys.

-So after the long drive home from the Philadelphia Spectrum, you turned on NBC to watch the hard sell for Wrestlemania III. Historical footnote: This is the highest-rated Saturday Night’s Main Event ever. And before somebody points out the Hogan-Andre title match, that was The Main Event on Friday night. So enjoy tonight’s record-setting SNME…

-Originally aired March 14, 1987.

-Cold open promos: Hulk Hogan is going to get even with Andre the Giant tonight in a battle royal! Bobby Heenan does the talking for Andre the Giant! Elizabeth is scared of tonight’s Intercontinental Title match! The Hart Foundation is ready to defend their titles! Jake Roberts hasn’t fed Damien in a month, so it’s a good thing that Jake’s battling King Kong Bundy tonight!

-We’re in Detroit, MI at the Joe Louis Arena.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jesse Ventura.

-Mean Gene Okerlund talks to Hulk Hogan. Fans have been telling Hulk to wait until a one-on-one match to get his revenge on Andre, but Hogan will take any opportunity he can get.

-We take a look at Ricky Steamboat’s surprise return on the last SNME. Weird pre-match promo where Gene insinuates that Elizabeth might be a fuck buddy in addition to a manager, and Randy gets angry for suggesting such a thing.

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE PLUS ELIZABETH’S SERVICES: RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Champion) vs. GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE
-Aaaaarrrgggh, you can’t have a title match two weeks before a supercard where a well-hyped title match is on the card! “Elizabeth as a prize,” insulting as that is, is enough of a stipulation. Elizabeth is seated in a tennis judge’s chair for the bout. Steele goes out to say hi to her and Savage immediately attacks from the top rope and sends him into the barricade. Savage tries to take her back to the locker room, but Ricky Steamboat bursts onto the scene and chases Savage back into the ring. Now it’s Steele’s turn to attack from behind and he sinks his teeth into Savage. Steele uses Savage’s head as battering ram into the top turnbuckle and takes a turnbuckle break. Savage takes advantage with a knee to the back and goes to the top rope. Double axehandle connects and Savage puts the boots to Steele. Both men battle for clawholds to the eyes and Steele wins that battle. Savage tries a clothesline but gets bitten on the arm. Steele chokes Savage down and goes back to the turnbuckles, using the foam as a weapon. Every time Savage sells that, I think of that scene in Naked Gun 2 ½ where Frank gets a towel thrown in his face and he screams in pain.

-Steele goes outside to take Elizabeth back to the locker room, but Savage attacks from behind and drops Elizabeth’s needlessly giant chair across Steele’s back. Steele doesn’t recover in time to beat the ten-count, and it’s a Savage victory by count-out. Post-match, Steele lobs the chair into the ring and nabs the title belt. He consoles himself with an Elizabeth poster. 0 for 1. It was “you do a move-okay, now I’ll do a move” until we got to the finish.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Andre the Giant & Bobby Heenan, and the difference in height between Heenan & Andre has changed since the cold open. Vince McMahon does an awesome job of hyping Andre in a totally disgusted tone during his entrance.

BATTLE ROYAL
-Thank heaven for the pre-match graphic. Your line-up for this bout is: Hillbilly Jim, Outlaw Ron Bass, Islanders, Leaping Lanny Poffo, Hercules, “The Natural” Butch Reed, “Mister Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, Billy Jack Haynes, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Blackjack Mulligan, Demolition, Honky Tonk Man, Killer Bees, Andre the Giant, and Hulk Hogan.

-Hogan tries to make his entrance, but Andre walks right up to the ropes to block his entrance. Hogan shows him the belt and Andre happily backs off and lets him in. Hogan & Orndorff look to start brawling, but Paul Orndorff sneaks up and Orndorffs Hogan. Hogan & Andre are separated in the fracas, and Hulk scores the first elimination of the match, dumping Honky Tonk Man. Andre tosses Sika, showing that he doesn’t care about heel/face alignment. Andre eliminates Haku. (The Colossal Connection…EXPLODES!) He goes to Lanny Poffo and gives him a hard headbutt before tossing him, and Lanny does a shockingly gory blade job to sell Andre’s brutality. He literally leaves a puddle of blood and goes out on a stretcher.

-Hulk eliminates Ron Bass and Andre eliminates Mulligan (The Machines…EXPLODE!) Volkoff is out via Hogan. Brian Blair is out via Andre. A Hogan-Orndorff brawl erupts again as Andre just goes from Hogan-buddy to Hogan-buddy, with Hillbilly Jim getting the bulk of the punishment. Hercules & Orndorff double-team Hogan and Irish whip him into the waiting Andre the Giant. Great touch as everybody else in the ring stops wrestling for a while to watch them. Hulk gets the upper hand with punches and suddenly Orndorff & Demolition gang up on Hogan. Hogan fights them off and eliminates Orndorff, and Andre sneaks up from behind, headbutts him, and calmly tosses him to the floor. Andre sneers and shakes his arms off to convey “too easy”. Hogan pockets the sportsmanship trophy by demanding to go back into the ring, even though he was cleanly eliminated. The referees and security take Hulk back to the locker room, and we’ll be back!

-Andre dispatches Jim Brunzell, and finally, everybody remaining in the ring gangs up on Andre and log-rolls him over the top rope and onto the floor (but why did Hercules help?) Andre leaves without incident as Hercules unloads Tama. Smash (now Barry Darsow) eliminates Hillbilly Jim. Ax was apparently eliminated when nobody was looking. Ware eliminates Reed, for some easy heat to build their match.

-Your final four are Billy Jack Haynes, Hercules, Koko B. Ware, and Smash. Smash pounds away at Haynes as Hercules & Koko trade fists. Hercules shakes it off and dumps Koko. Haynes gets double-teamed by the heels until catching Smash with a forearm, sending him over the top rope (in a spot that was clearly bungled the first time, done a second time, and spliced together in post-production). We’re down to Billy Jack & Hercules, but Bobby Heenan gets Billy Jack’s attention, Haynes takes the bait, and Hercules sneaks up and eliminates him. Solid booked-for-TV battle royal, with Hogan & Andre built sufficiently, and an undercard match getting a little love for the finish. 1 for 2.

-By the way, I want to point something out about this show that I find rather interesting: Wrestlemania III hasn’t been mentioned ONCE. I’m not kidding. The whole time they’ve talked about Hogan and Andre, they’ve just discussed the feud. No mention of them having a match on March 29, or that the match can be seen on closed-circuit TV and pay-per-view throughout the country, or even mentioning it in vague terms like “that big card on the 29th when the WWF returns to the Detroit area.” They talked about Savage’s feud with Ricky Steamboat but didn’t explain why Savage was running for his life from Steamboat or that Steamboat may get his revenge. Seriously, watch this show and listen carefully. They never, ever, not-once mention Wrestlemania III. It’s weird. (NBC mandate, I wonder?)

-Gene Okerlund talks to Andre the Giant, and despite losing the battle royal, he’s in a great mood. It took eight men to eliminate him…but it only took one man to eliminate Hulk Hogan.

JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS vs. KING KONG BUNDY (with Bobby Heenan)
-Snake tries an arm wringer, but Bundy swats him off. Bundy gets a little too close to Damien’s bag and backs away. Bundy attempts a clothesline, but Jake holds onto the ropes and makes him look a little foolish. Lock-up and Bundy wrings the arm. Jake gets him to let go by kicking the legs. Jake tries a test of strength and Jesse doesn’t know what the hell he’s thinking. Bundy takes him down to the mat, but Jake kicks him away. Bundy pounds him down and sends him into the turnbuckle. Front facelock by Bundy and Jake won’t die, so Bundy tries a backdrop. Jake counters it with a kneelift and a series of right hands that drops Bundy. Jake goes for Damien, but Bundy pulls him away and Heenan takes off with Damien’s bag. Jake chases him back to the locker room, and we’ll be right back.

-Jake returns with the bag, but Bobby Heenan is now MIA. Bundy assaults Jake on his way back into the ring and clotheslines him down. Shoulderblock by Bundy. Bundy tries another shoulderblock, but Jake steps aside and shoves him into the turnbuckles. Jake gets to his feet and throws more punches. Clothesline drops Bundy and Jake goes to the bag. The referee tries to stop him, but Jake kicks him for some reason and the referee calls for the DQ. The brawl continues post-match, with Jake coming out on top with the DDT. Bobby Heenan returns and miraculously drags Bundy’s carcass out of the ring before Damien could do his thing. Inexplicable finish to this one, following a rather so-so punch & kick battle. 1 for 3.

-We take a look at Danny Davis helping the Hart Foundation win the tag team titles. Gene Okerlund talks to the champions, who announce that to avoid any controversial problems like bad officiating and interference, they’re going to have an observer at ringside: Danny Davis.

TAG TEAM TITLE: HART FOUNDATION (Champions, with Jimmy Hart & Danny Davis) vs. DAN SPIVEY & TITO SANTANA
-See, it’s okay for this to be a title match because the titles won’t be on the line at Wrestlemania. Mike Rotundo’s disappearance is never asked about nor explained by anybody.

-Spivey & Anvil start. Spivey gets a quick bodypress for two. Side headlock by Spivey, but Anvil fights it off and clotheslines him down. Harts attempt a double-team, but Spivey Irish whips Anvil into Bret’s knee. The faces then do the same double-team move successfully with Bret. Tito applies a side headlock and gets shoved away. He simply slams Bret and Spivey comes in with a tackle for two. Harts double-team Spivey in their corner and Bret gives him the backbreaker. Bret slingshots Anvil on top of Spivey (the Can-Am Connection’s finisher, actually) for two. Harts take turns choking Spivey and tie him up in their corner. Elbow from the second rope by Bret gets a two-count. Front facelock by Bret and Anvil distracts the referee to block a hot tag. Harts bungle another double-team and crash into each other, and this time Tito is able to tag in. Fistfight and an Irish whip by Tito. Danny Davis gets knocked off the apron for good measure. Flying forearm by Tito and he decides to go for the figure four. That’s a mistake because a brawl erupts in the ring and while the referee deals with it, Davis KOs Tito with the megaphone. Harts retain. 2 for 4. Quick but good TV match.

-Seriously, where the hell did Mike Rotundo go?

RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT vs. IRON SHEIK (with Slick)
-Randy Savage appears at ringside and the referee convinces him to leave. Savage simply heads over to the broadcast table, steals Vince’s chair, and provides commentary. In the ring, Sheik gets the early advantage, but Steamboat comes back with a back suplex and a series of chops. Sheik begs for mercy but gets shoulderblocked and hiptossed instead. Headlock by Steamboat as Savage promises that Steamboat will pay his dues eventually, but again, without mentioning any kind of, say, special card or event in the near future.

-Suplex by the Sheik gets a two. Abdominal stretch by the Sheik, but as always, he gets hiptossed. Steamboat slams him down and finishes with the top rope chop for three. Weird. Steamboat was in there with a name opponent, but his Superstars squash matches were better than this. 2 for 5.

-Hulk Hogan promises not to lose the World Title to Andre the Giant. Not that they have a match coming up or anything.

TRIBUTE TO ROWDY RODDY PIPER
-A moving slow-motion tribute to Piper, set to “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. Of course, you laugh and shake your head now because Piper came out of retirement on 163 different occasions after this tribute, but, as my friend Jeremy observed when he saw this, “If we were watching this when it originally aired, we’d be holding each other and weeping uncontrollably.” 3 for 6. Nice tribute, although I like Piper’s story in his autobiography about how much it pissed him off that they ended it with an out-of-context picture of Piper making the “I love you” hand signal and wearing a Hulkamania shirt.

Vince & Jesse say goodnight until we see them again from the campus of the Fighting Irish! Goodnight, and go to Game Show Utopia now.

The 411: A perfectly average night of wrestling, although it's neat to have if you also have a copy of Wrestlemania III. Watch the build and watch the payoff. It's fun that way!

Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]