The Name on the Marquee: Wrestlemania III (03.29.1987)

Posted by Adam Nedeff on 06.24.2009

Overture, cut the lights...this is it, the night of nights!
Oh what heights we'll hit! On with the show, this is it!

-I don’t know if you’ve ever heard about this show, but it’s kind of a big deal. A record-setting indoor crowd (albeit with a suspect number involved), an insane PPV buyrate given how few homes had access to PPV at the time, and the home video release set a sales record a few months later. And at least one wrestler (Ted DiBiase) has said that it had a huge impact on him when it came time to decide if he was staying in his current promotion or jumping ship. So here’s the show that made the entire wrestling world take notice…

-It’s March 29, 1987.

-We’re in Pontiac, MI at the Silverdome. One of the sad things about corporate sponsorship taking over the world is that we’re stuck with crappy names like Pepsi Arena and Ford Field, when “Pontiac Silverdome” is a million times more awesome.

-Vince McMahon greets the crowd and GOOD GOD that’s a lot of people crammed into the Silverdome. And somewhere among them is a good friend named Matt Ottinger, but to this day, I haven’t been able to spot him during any of the panning shots.

-Vince introduces Aretha Franklin. His head nearly explodes while introducing her because he suddenly realizes how awesome he is for pulling this off. Aretha gives a great rendition of “America the Beautiful,” although tragically, there’s no Hulk Hogan/fireworks graphic like they had for Ray Charles.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura, with assorted friends popping in and out throughout the show.

CAN-AM CONNECTION vs. MAGNIFICENT MURACO & COWBOY BOB ORTON (with Mr. Fuji)
-Gorilla keeps calling the faces “The K and M Connection” for some reason. Zenk & Muraco start. Zenk shoulderblocks, but Muraco backs him into a corner and hammers him down. Zenk comes back with a hiptoss and a monkeyflip for a one-count. Double monkeyflip by the Can-Ams and they catch Orton with some double-teaming, too. Heels go to the floor to regroup. Orton tags into the match and gets powerslammed. Zenk applies an armbar as Gorilla weirdly states that Orton has excellence of execution.

-Orton & Zenk trade full nelsons. Muraco tries to make the save but punches his own partner. Martel tags in and works the arm. Orton is able to make the tag but Muraco gets slammed right away. Orton delivers a knee from the apron to turn the tide. Neckbreaker by Muraco, elbow from the second rope by Orton. Double shoulderblock takes out Orton & Zenk. Muraco & Martel tag in and Martel cleans house. Four-man brawl erupts and in the confusion, Muraco backdrops his own partner. Orton gets cleared out of the ring, and Muraco is on the receiving end of a bodypress/schoolboy double-team to get the three-count for the Can-Ams. 1 for 1. Fun little match, but more one-sided than I remembered. You can tell they had big plans for the Can-Ams.

-FLASHBACK: Bobby Heenan calls out Billy Jack Haynes, demanding that he attempt to break Hercules’ full nelson. Haynes obliges and Heenan suddenly changes his mind and tells Hercules not to do it. Haynes shoves Heenan, and that triggers a two-on-one drubbing on Billy Jack.

-Hercules is ready for “Billy Jerk.”

BILLY JACK HAYNES vs. HERCULES (with Bobby Heenan)
-And your referee is Dave Hebner, making this the most alliterative match on the card. Entrances for this match give us the first appearance of the awesome mini-ring carts that everybody remembers from this show. With every passing year, I keep hoping they’ll bring these things back, and the more the company falls in love with its own past, the more I expect it, and they just keep letting me down.

-Lock-ups go to the corner, but Hercules kicks Haynes away and follows with a kneelift. He charges and misses and Haynes press slams him. He goes for the full nelson immediately, but Hercules makes the ropes. Chops and punches by Haynes, but Hercules clotheslines him down. Stomps by Hercules and a backdrop. Irish whips by Hercules from corner to corner as he continues to work the back. Suplex by Hercules gets two, but he pulls Haynes up when he realizes he’d rather finish with the full nelson. That’s a mistake because Haynes mounts a comeback, but when he goes for a suplex, he nearly collapses because his back is too injured. Backbreaker by Hercules and he slams Haynes down. Hercules finally clamps on the full nelson, but Haynes fights it. He appears to pass out, but Hebner checks the arm and Haynes revives. Haynes breaks the hold and a double-clothesline wipes out both men moments later. Inverted atomic drop by Haynes, followed by a clothesline. Chops and another clothesline by Haynes. Legdrop and a fistdrop by Hercules. Haynes locks in the full nelson, but Hercules makes it to the ropes, then yanks himself and Haynes out to the floor. Haynes locks in the full nelson on the floor (and spits up for some reason) and keeps it clamped on until the referee counts out both men. After the bell, Heenan attacks from behind to break the hold. Haynes chases Heenan around while Hercules recovers and grabs his chain. Haynes gets punched with the chain and busted open, and Hercules locks in the full nelson one more time. 2 for 2. This was a lot better than I remembered, actually, with plenty of psychology involving the back, and more importantly, the match billed as “the battle of the full nelsons” actually saw both men apply the full nelson. Take THAT, Wrestlemania 2 Battle of the Piledrivers.

-King Kong Bundy vows to squash any midgets who get in his way. Keep that in mind, he’s giving fair warning.

-Hillbilly Jim promises not to let anything happen to his partners.

MIXED TAG MATCH: HILLBILLY JIM, LITTLE BEAVER, & HAITI KID vs. KING KONG BUNDY, LORD LITTLEBROOK, & LITTLE TOKYO
-Bob Uecker joins commentary for this one. Little Beaver flashes his ass at Bundy during a war dance in the intros. Haiti & Tokyo start. All four midgets wind up in there early on, and the heels shoulderblock each other down. Beaver & Haiti use their legs to do a rowboat. Beaver is the legal man now and he slaps Tokyo. Littlebrook comes in and backs Beaver into the corner. Beaver elbows Bundy in the stomach while he’s in the corner. Littlebrook tags Bundy in, which, according to the rules, would mean Beaver is required to tag out. Beaver refuses to leave and dropkicks Bundy. Bundy no-sells and Beaver gets the hell out of the ring. In comes Hillbilly and he clotheslines Bundy down and drops an elbow. Hillbilly and both midgets pile on top of Bundy for a one-count. Bundy elbows Hillbilly down. Bundy applies a front facelock, and Beaver comes in and slaps him across the face with a moccasin to break the hold. He sneaks out and Bundy avalanches Hillbilly and pounds him in the corner. Beaver tries to make the save, but this time, Bundy is able to hang onto him and slams him down. He drops the elbow and the referee calls for the bell, giving the match to Hillbilly Jim’s team by DQ. Bundy’s partners are so horrified that they turn on him post-match, and Hillbilly Jim recovers and knocks Bundy to the floor. Okay, if the announcers won’t say it, I will: Beaver got exactly what was coming to him. 2 for 3.

-Mary Hart tries to interview Elizabeth, but Randy Savage insists on taking over. He tells Elizabeth to leave and tells Mary Hart that if she wants his phone number, it’s printed on his license plate. That’s damn funny.

-FLASHBACK: On Saturday Night’s Main Event, King Harley Race & Bobby Heenan vow that Junkyard Dog will bow to the king. JYD manages to steal the crown & cape and try them on before being attacked from behind and double-teamed.

-Bobby Heenan gives Fabulous Moolah the crown, instructing her to place it on the king’s head after the match. No idea why Moolah’s here.

-JYD and Gene Okerlund make some throne puns.

LOSER MUST BOW TO THE WINNER: JUNKYARD DOG vs. KING HARLEY RACE (with Bobby Heenan & Fabulous Moolah)
-Bob Uecker leaves to get closer to Moolah. JYD gets a quick right hand. Heenan tries to interfere from the outside but gets caught. JYD chases him, and that gives Race the opportunity to pounce. JYD gets sent to the floor and Race tries a headbutt from the apron, but JYD rolls out of the way. He clotheslines and flips Race back into the ring, and knocks him right back out of the ring. He brings Race back into the ring with a slam and applies an abdominal stretch. You’ll never guess what Gorilla is observing about that move. Race hiptosses free and tries to drop a headbutt, but JYD is black and Race hurts himself. JYD sends him out to the floor again. Back in, JYD headbutts him and Heenan jumps onto the apron. JYD falls for it and Race comes back with a quick belly-to-belly suplex to get the three-count. Post-match, JYD curtseys, bows, and KOs Race with a chair, then takes off with his cape. 2 for 4. Short and anticlimactic.

-Vince McMahon interviews Hulk Hogan. Watching Vince mug and change his facial expression for every word that Hogan says is pretty funny. Hulk warns Andre that “If the dirty air don’t getcha, the politicians will.” And really, you can see how that applies.

ROUGEAU BROTHERS vs. DREAM TEAM (with Dino Bravo & Johnny V)
-First appearance of Bravo with his bleached blonde look. Raymond and Beefcake start as Jesse once again asks which Rougeau is which. Gorilla answers and Jesse says “It’s Raymond with the moustache.” Yes, Jesse, good…try to retain that for more than eight seconds now. Rougeaus start off hot with double-teaming and Valentine tags in to take his share of the punishment. Forearms by Jacques, but he misses a bodypress from the second rope and the Hammer drops elbows. Beefcake comes and works him over for two. Impressive double-team by the Dream Team as Bobby Heenan comes into the broadcast booth and declares himself 2-for-2 for the day, since Hercules & Harley Race won their matches. Gorilla tries to correct him and say he’s 1-for-3, but Bobby says that Hercules got the better of Haynes, and since he won’t have anything to do with midgets, he’s not responsible for Bundy’s loss.

-Bombe de Rougeau looks to finish off Valentine, but Dino sneaks in with an axehandle from the second rope and Valentine gets the pin. Beefcake is annoyed and actually tells the referee that Dino interfered, and Johnny V, Bravo, and Valentine leave the arena without him. 3 for 5. Good match, although they’ve certainly done better together.

-FLASHBACK: Adrian Adonis smashed a flower pot over Roddy Piper’s head and destroyed his leg with a chair. Piper then smashed the set of The Flower Shop singlehandedly with a baseball bat. Adrian Adonis retaliated by attacking Piper on Piper’s Pit, then blinding him with perfume on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Piper promises “no retreat and no surrender” on his way out of the WWF.

-Pre-match interview sees Adrian Adonis pretty much renouncing his gay gimmick once and for all, saying he doesn’t need high heels for this match; just his wrestling and his clippers.

HAIR vs. HAIR: ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs. ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (with Jimmy Hart)
-Adonis & Hart come to the ring with hedge clippers and a mirror. Piper’s motorized cart malfunctions, so he just walks to the ring, which works much better anyway because the entire world believed at the time that he was going away forever and it was nice to see him walk the aisle one last time.

-Slugfest to start, and Piper just whips Adonis with a leather belt and then turns his attention to strangling Jimmy Hart. Adonis attacks from behind and whips Piper with the belt. Irish whip is reversed and Adonis goes to the floor. Piper drags both Adonis and Hart into the ring and rams them together, then Irish whips Hart into Adonis and they both go over the top and onto the floor. Piper brings Adonis back into the ring, Irish whips him, and rocket launches Jimmy from the top rope and onto Adonis. Hart goes outside the ring and hooks Piper’s legs to trip him up. Adonis rakes Piper’s chest and back, then takes him down with a clothesline. Adonis hammers Piper and Piper attempts to stop him with the eyerake, but Adonis kicks him out of the ring and rams him into a table. Hart takes a cheap shot at Piper with the atomizer. Back in the ring, Adonis punches Piper and Hot Rod tries to mount a comeback, but Jimmy blinds him with the atomizer again, and Adrian locks in Goodnight Irene. Piper fights it, but passes out. Adrian screws up by releasing the hold before the referee has dropped the arm the third time, and while he celebrates with Hart, Brutus Beefcake bolts to ringside and smacks Piper on the neck to wake him up. Piper gets revved up and knocks Jimmy Hart out of the ring, then dodges an attempted sneak attack, causing Adonis to hit himself in the face with his hedge clippers. Piper locks in his own sleeperhold and Adrian passes out, and since Piper is smart enough to wait for the referee, he wins.

-Post-match, Piper gives Beefcake the clippers and lets him do the haircut while Piper focuses his attention on abusing Jimmy Hart. The camera catches Adrian Adonis talking to Beefcake way too much. They get pressed for time and they stop the haircut about halfway and “wake up” Adrian to show him the mirror. Adonis punches the mirror and, while I’m no lip-reader, it appears that he yells “I look fat!” If that’s actually what he yelled, that’s hilarious and it fits his character’s vanity perfectly. Piper’s post-match celebration is abruptly cut off by a fan jumping into the ring to celebrate and getting pounced by security. And that’s the last time we’ll ever see Roddy Piper in the ring. 4 for 6. This was a clinic of great booking, with a match and a finish that saw the fans getting exactly what they wanted, and simultaneously laying the groundwork for a new feud with a new star.

-Intermission’s coming up and you can buy commemorative items, like the “baseball-style cap” for just ten bucks. Send check or money order to WWF Merchandise, and make sure that it’s “a check in the correct amount,” which you would think wouldn’t need to be explained. We’ll be back in 15 minutes!

-Your broadcast team for our next match is Gorilla Monsoon, Mary Hart, and Bob Uecker. Believe it or not, it won’t be terrible.

-At ringside, Jesse Ventura takes a bow to soak in the accolades of the fans.

-Jimmy Hart says he hopes the crybabies and Tito Santana are ready for the war.

TITO SANTANA & BRITISH BULLDOGS vs. DANNY DAVIS & HART FOUNDATION (with Jimmy Hart)
-No recap package, but for those who need the background story on this one, every member of the face team lost their title belts in matches where Danny Davis officiated, and now that Jack Tunney has fired Danny from his refereeing gig, Davis is a wrestler, and his first task at hand is facing the three guys who are the most pissed off at him.

-Matilda attacks Jimmy Hart and the faces just kick the living shit out of the Harts, and finish by press slamming Davis from the ring clear out to the floor. The match officially starts with Tito and Bret. Bret gets dropped on his face as Jesse leaves ringside with Matilda. Smith and Anvil square off and the Harts are rammed into each other. Tito returns and applies an armbar, but Anvil backs him into the heel corner, and Bret & Danny double-team him. Anvil attempts a backdrop, but Tito leapfrogs him and tags in Smith. Smith backdrops Anvil, but Anvil pounds him down. Bret comes in and promptly misses a second-rope elbow, and in comes Dynamite Kid with a hard Irish whip. Falling headbutt by Dynamite but Anvil steps in to help turn the tide. Bret fires away at Dynamite. Dynamite tries to come back with the snap suplex, but Anvil stops it and tags in. He applies a rear chinlock as Gorilla notes that these kinds of matches could benefit from having two referees. Bret tags in to hit the decapitator. Danny Davis finally tags in, stomps Dynamite, and tags Bret back in. My God, this crowd just wants him to DIE.

-Harts double-team Dynamite, and Mary Hart says “We’ll have to rename Dynamite ‘Firecracker’ if he doesn’t shape up.” I don’t care how you feel, that’s clever. Davis tags back in, kicks Dynamite, and tags back out. Bret punches Dynamite down and the Foundation brings Danny in with a slingshot splash, but Dynamite raises the knees to knock the wind out of him, and he makes the hot tag to Tito. Tito just beats the stripes off of him with punches, a backdrop, and the flying forearm as the crowd loses their collective shit. Tito could probably finish, but chooses not to because this is too much catharsis for him to pass up and he keeps beating on Davis and tries to apply the figure four. Anvil stops him, so Tito brings in Davey Boy Smith. Smith clotheslines him and then hits the sickest-looking piledriver of the 1980s, and Davis is dead. Suplex by Smith and a running powerslam look to finish, but a six-man brawl erupts and in the fracas, Davis manages to revive, KO Smith with Jimmy’s megaphone, and collapse on top of him for the pin. The crowd is pissed, but the match was too much fun for me to care. 5 for 7. I’ve heard fans say that the wrong side won this match, but if the faces had gone over, then it means Davis was built up for a year leading up to his debut for nothing. If he had lost this match cleanly and decisively, what’s your next move for him?

-Gene Okerlund talks to Bobby Heenan and Andre the Giant. Heenan is wearing an AWESOME white & gold tuxedo that he never wore before or since. I seem to recall watching Gorilla and Bobby do commentary at some point, and Gorilla began teasing Heenan about how Heenan had the suit dry-cleaned after the show and the cleaners screwed up and destroyed the thing. I’d like to think that was a true story. Anyway, the time is ticking and Hulkamania will be erased from the history books as of tonight.

KOKO B. WARE vs. “The Natural” BUTCH REED (with Slick)
-Lock-ups go back and forth until Reed starts punching away. Koko dropkicks him over the top rope. Back in the ring, Reed hammers Koko down, then punches him. Again. Reed stomps him and sends him into the top turnbuckle Koko reverses an Irish whip and hiptosses him. Rights & lefts by Koko, followed by a dropkick for two. Reed goes for the eyes, but Koko rolls him up quickly for two. He goes for a bodypress, but Reed rolls through and gets the pin with a handful of tights. 5 for 8. Koko was game, Reed wasn’t. Post-match, Slick attacks Koko with his cane, but Tito Santana shows up and shreds his suit.

-FLASHBACKS: Randy Savage destroyed Ricky Steamboat’s throat with a bell during a title match. Steamboat’s doctor is surprised by the speed he’s showing in his recovery, and Steamboat actually does manage to come back to active competition. And to show he means business, he helps George Steele kidnap Elizabeth on Saturday Night’s Main Event, pissing off Randy Savage. But history beckons the Macho Man, so he’s not worried.

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Champion, with Elizabeth) vs. RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT (with George “The Animal” Steele)
-Lock-ups and Savage tries a full nelson, but Steamboat flips himself over to break it. Savage ducks out to move Elizabeth to another corner to get her further away from Steele. Back in, Steamboat armdrags Savage twice and lifts him in the air for a choke. Savage goes to the floor to recover. Steamboat chases him and catches him on the way back in with an elbow. Savage chokes Steamboat on the top rope and goes for an early win, but only gets two. Savage tries to grind Steamboat’s eyes, but then misses a charge. Steamboat applies a wristlock and flips Savage clear over his head with it, which just looks awesome.

-So from there, Steamboat works the arm, but Savage breaks free with a handful of hair and elbows Steamboat down. He sends Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Savage kicks him down on his attempted re-entry, and now Savage goes after the throat with an elbow on the apron. He puts the boots to Steamboat until he hits the floor again. He snapmares Steamboat back in and goes for the pin, but only gets two. Kneedrop gets two. Steamboat reverses a turnbuckle shot and throws punches, and chops Savage hard enough that he gets tangled in the ropes. Savage breaks free with a boot but gets caught with a bodypress for two. Armdrag by Steamboat gets two. Shoulderblock by Steamboat gets two. Savage desperately shoves him into the ropes and raises a knee to the back. He sends Steamboat over the top rope. Steamboat skins the cat but Savage is ready and sends him right back out. Savage follows him out and boots Steamboat over a table, over a guard rail, and onto the concrete. Steamboat’s out, but Steele lifts him up and carries him back into the ring. Savage simply tosses Steamboat back out and comes off the top rope with the axehandle. Savage tosses him back in the ring and comes off the top with another double axehandle for two. Savage snaps the neck over the top rope for two. Atomic drop gets another two. Suplex gets another two as Savage is just desperate to get this over with and leave with his belt.

-Steamboat starts to fight back with a chop, but Savage goes to the eyes and gets a gutwrench suplex for two. He tries for an atomic drop, but Steamboat lands on his feet behind Savage. Savage kicks him in the chest and charges at him, but Steamboat backdrops him over the top rope. Steamboat rams Savage into the mat and tosses him back in the ring. Chop from the top gets two when Savage gets a foot on the rope. Another chop gets two. Series of chops between the eyes by Steamboat and Savage goes tumbling to the floor. Savage makes Steamboat chase him again, but this time, Steamboat is ready with a shot to the stomach and a sunset flip back inside for two. Roll-up gets two. Steamboat rolls him again for another two. Inside cradle gets two. Bodyslam and a slingshot over the turnbuckle and onto the post gets two. Another roll-up gets two. Savage reverses it for two. Steamboat throws punches, but Savage yanks the tights and launches him into the post. They battle for an Irish whip and the referee gets wiped out in the process. Savage manages to take out Steamboat and connects with the flying elbow, but the referee’s out cold. Savage can’t revive him, so he makes lemons out of lemonade and grabs the bell from the timekeeper. He heads for the top, but Steele snatches the bell from him. Savage kicks him in the back and takes the bell back. He goes to the top rope and Steele shoves him off as the referee revives. Realizing that using the bell is no longer an option, Savage gives up and goes for a bodyslam. He gets it, but Steamboat hangs on and uses the momentum to roll him over and get the three-count. 6 for 9.

-Okay, let’s talk about that match for a minute because just giving it a point doesn’t cover it. I type these reviews “live,” meaning as the DVD plays, as opposed to taking notes on the match and transcribing later. When the referee got bumped, I actually checked the time on the DVD player because I swear to you, it felt like the match had only gone about five minutes at that point. This was just a breathtakingly fast-paced match.

-Second, there was so much storytelling involved here. For starters, there was the standard good psychology (Savage makes Steamboat chase him, gets the advantage; Savage does it again, Steamboat gets the advantage because he remembers what Savage did). But there was also Savage trying the obvious strategy of going to the throat, and when he realized that wasn’t working, he got desperate and just began unloading his entire arsenal on Steamboat, ultimately losing the match more due to frustration than anything.

-Wait, there’s more. This match built off other matches. Savage attacked the throat because he knew it was vulnerable as a result of what he did to Steamboat last time they met. That was to be expected, but then they go ahead and pay off encounters from ANOTHER feud, as George Steele had faced the wrath of the timekeeper’s bell, and when he saw that Savage was going to use it on Steamboat like it had been used on him, he took control of the situation. And I also want to say, I LOVE it when Karma figures into the finish of a match. Randy Savage tried to knock Ricky Steamboat out of wrestling by using the bell. Months later, not only is Steamboat wrestling again, he took away Savage’s most prized possession, and why did it happen? Because instead of staying on top of him with wrestling, Savage got distracted and obsessed with using the same bell. The bell that helped him avoid losing his title was now exactly what cost him his title. Savage had only himself to blame for losing.

-In summary, this match had it all. It was 1987’s Match of the Year according to every source that mattered, and it DESERVED to be. Some folks might make a case for Barry Windham vs. Ric Flair, which was a hell of a match, but there was no true feud there. It was just an up-and-coming challenger showing he could hang with the champion. This match settled two feuds and paid off a handful of prior incidents. Hell of a Match Plus a Story is superior to Hell of a Match with No Story any day.

-And yes, there’s more of this show to go.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Alice Cooper & Jake Roberts. Gene starts by laughing, turning to Jake and saying, “Try to top THAT shit, buddy!” Jake sighs and leaves the building.

-Honky Tonk Man says Peggy Sue is at ringside and she’s waiting to hear “That’s All Right, Honky Tonk Mama,” not some nightmare song by Alice Cooper.

JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS (with Alice Cooper) vs. HONKY TONK MAN (with Jimmy Hart)
-Honky dances on the apron during his entrance, and Jake attacks him from behind and slingshots him into the ring. Kneelift by Jake sends Honky to the floor and Jake follows him out, punches him down, and yanks his jumpsuit off. He slams Honky on the floor and sends him back into the ring. Irish whip by Jake, but Honky raises a knee and puts the boots to him. He works the arm, but Jake ducks a punch and catches him with a short clothesline and calls for the DDT. Cool shot of Jake’s bag in the corner shows that Damien is going insane in there and wants out. Vibrations from that many people cheering at once will do that to a snake, you know.

-Honky slips out of the DDT and goes to the floor, and Jake follows him out. Jimmy Hart distracts Jake and Honky sends him into the post and the barricade. Alice Cooper comes over to help him back in, but Honky kicks him right back out. Jake makes it to the apron, but Honky knocks him off with force and Jake goes into the barricade again. Slam by Honky as a “Jake” chant erupts. Bodyslam and a fist from the second rope by Honky, and he throws punches instead of going for Shake, Rattle, and Roll, perplexing our commentary team. Elbow by Honky and he drops a forearm across the throat. Shake, Rattle, and Roll is attempted, but Jake backdrops out. Honky recovers quickly and pounds Jake in the corner, but Jake gets free with an inverted atomic drop. Series of punches by Jake and Honky starts begging for mercy. Jake gives him a backdrop instead of mercy. Honky gets tangled in the ropes and does Harley Race’s weeble-wobble spot as Jake punches him. Jimmy Hart comes to the apron and Jake goes after him, and Honky sneaks up and rolls him up, hanging onto the ropes for leverage, and gets the totally-unexpected victory. Longer and better than I remembered. 7 for 10.

-Post-match, Jake shatters Honky’s guitar by slamming it against the post. Jimmy gets caught between Jake & Alice, and they drape Damien across him. Was this the worst day of Jimmy Hart’s life or WHAT?

-Gene Okerlund steps into the ring to announce that 93,173 fans are in the Silverdome today, and that’s good enough to set a world record. As I watch this, it sort of shocks me that Vince didn’t come back out to make this announcement himself. You can dispute that number all you want, but the wide shots make it perfectly clear that there is approximately one whole hell of a lot of people in there. And while Googling, I found this series of arguments supporting the figure.

KILLER BEES vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHEIK (with Slick)
-Of all 12 matches on the card at this show, I’d say this one was the least-expected to trigger endless sodomy jokes from fans 20 years later. Slick walking around in the destroyed remains of his tuxedo is a funny visual. Hacksaw Jim Duggan charges to the ring during said anthem and clears everybody out with the 2x4, announcing that Nikolai can’t sing the anthem because he’s in the land of the free. Duggan’s head then explodes as a result of that logic, and we stop everything as they mop up the remnants.

-Evil foreigners attack from behind and it’s a four-man brawl to start as Jim Duggan’s headless body remains at ringside, pacing back and forth. Killer Bees take control and get Volkoff out of the ring. Bees double-team Sheik for a spell. Brunzell rings his bell and the Bees work over the arm for a while. Dropkick by Brunzell gets two when Volkoff comes in. Another brawl erupts and the heels double-team Brunzell in the corner. “USA!” chant goes up as Volkoff boots Brunzell down. Volkoff catches him in a bearhug, but Brunzell punches free. Sheik comes in with a gutwrench suplex for two. Another suplex, another two. More double-teaming by the heels and Sheik pauses to celebrate as Jim Duggan chases Slick & Volkoff with the 2x4 as Sheik applies the camel clutch to Brunzell, NOT Blair, but Duggan runs in with the 2x4 and cracks it across Sheik’s back, costing the Bees the match, and the crowd just totally deflates in response to that. 7 for 11. Really disappointing, and Duggan’s interference worked out the wrong way. Part of me wants to think that the Bees were being punished for something because that finish just made no sense.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan. Andre FINALLY speaks for himself and promises to leave with the title belt around his waist. Bobby’s about to jump out of his skin as he promises to go down in history as the manager of the world champion.

-FLASHBACKS: Hulk Hogan talks to Gene Okerlund in the locker room after winning the WWF Title and Andre interrupts and dumps champagne on his head. He tells Hulk that he’s proud of him. 20 months later on Saturday Night’s Main Event, King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd double-team Andre and Hulk, dressed as a Chippendale dancer, makes the save and helps him clear the ring. Hulk & Andre get along so well that they team up for a little while.

-Go forward a year and a few months, and Andre & Hulk receive trophies in a few ceremonies that proceed to rub Andre the wrong way. He gets fed up and signs Bobby Heenan as his manager, then challenges Hulk to a title match. Hulk won’t accept until Roddy Piper just badgers the shit out of him, and he finally gives in and agrees to defend the title.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Hulk Hogan, who is worried that the 90,000 fans who COULDN’T get in the Silverdome but are hanging out near the entrance could be rattled when Andre gets slammed down.

-Hello to Terry, Tyrell, and Jade.

-Bob Uecker and Mary Hart head to the ring to assume their duties as ring announcer and timekeeper.

WORLD TITLE: HULK HOGAN (Champion) vs. ANDRE THE GIANT (with Bobby Heenan)
-I think the amount of trash thrown at Andre & Heenan should serve as a benchmark when talking about trash-throwing any other time. So, Hulk Hogan’s heel turn forming the nWo would rank about a .8 Andre. And his entrance here actually gets a .4 Andre.

-So the bell sounds and Hogan & Andre stare each other down in the middle of the ring. Shoves are traded and Hogan throws punches at Andre. He tries a slam right there, but collapses under the weight and Andre gets a VERY close two-count. They managed to get an extra year and a half out of the feud from that spot. Bobby Heenan complains about the referee’s decision (“That was THREE, you asshole!”), but Andre just accepts it and goes to work on Hogan’s injured back.

-Andre throws forearms at Hogan’s back and demands that he get up. He slams Hogan and Hogan sells it like he’s been shot by bullets covered with tiny knives. Another slam by Andre and he walks across Hogan’s back. Andre Irish whips Hogan and does it again. Andre rams Hogan with shoulders in the corner, followed by a butt ram and a headbutt. Hogan ducks another headbutt and Andre hits the turnbuckle. Forearms and punches by Hogan as he mounts his comeback. Chops by the champ and he rams Andre into the turnbuckle 10 times. He charges at Andre but takes a faceful of boot. Andre chops Hogan and applies a bearhug. The crowd gets behind Hogan and they’re getting so worked up that the hard camera begins shaking.

-Hulk appears to pass out, but he raises the arm and punches free. Shoulderblock by Hogan. Another shoulderblock, but Andre won’t go down. Hogan goes for another shoulderblock but gets chopped down. Andre kicks Hogan in the stomach and sends him to the floor. He chops Hogan and attempts a headbutt, but Hogan ducks and Andre hits “the post” (his hand, and it’s not terribly convincing at all from such a close camera angle. Hogan boldly attempts a piledriver on the floor, but gets backdropped. Back in the ring, Andre misses a boot, and Hogan connects with a clothesline that takes Andre off his feet immediately. Hulk gets to his feet and bodyslams the big guy, then drops the leg and gets the three-count. 8 for 12. Match wasn’t great (it was the Observer’s Worst Match of the Year) but for history, it’s a must-see. And the MVP for the match is…your broadcasting team. Listen to just the audio of this bout and you’ll hear the performance of a lifetime from Gorilla & Jesse.

-Show ends with “Who’s Zoomin’ Who?” from Aretha Franklin. Only worth noting because Gorilla introduces it with aid from a cue card and Jesse reads the card to himself as Gorilla is talking, which creates the disturbing illusion that Jesse is a puppet controlled by Gorilla.

-And on that very anticlimactic note, here’s the Game Show Utopia plug.

The 411: Well, there you have it. The first truly great supercard for Titan and, in my opinion, the gold standard for great booking from start to finish. And it has one of the best matches of all time, too. Any wrestling fan interested in history needs to see this show, but even without history behind it, it's a pretty good card. Have a look, already!

Final Score:  8.6   [ Very Good ]