The Name on the Marquee: ECW Legacy #3

Posted by Adam Nedeff on 09.26.2009

ECW doesn't have a Hall of Fame, but that's okay...they can borrow Vince's!

-This week’s theme: WWE Hall of Famers who have passed through the company.

-Your hosts are Joey Styles & Tazz.

-We go waaaaaayyyy back to the beginning of Eastern Championship Wrestling, when a ton of Vince McMahon’s sloppy seconds made their way through the company for some quick cash. Some of the early stars on the roster included Terry Funk, Jimmy Snuka, and Don Muraco. Tazz puts Muraco over for being great to work with and a teacher for the younger guys. Joey mentions that buying Don a plane ticket to fly from Hawaii to Philadelphia once a week to wrestle in front of 200 people wasn’t terribly responsible of the up-and-coming company.

DON MURACO, SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA, & KEVIN SULLIVAN vs. TERRY FUNK, J.T. SMITH, & ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER
-Brawling all over the place. Abdullah & Sullivan battle on the floor while everybody else keeps it in the ring. Smith dazes Muraco with some extra-black headbutts. Sullivan & Abdullah mug at the camera in the general direction of the ring post. Snuka chops Smith and Sullivan brings him out to the floor and stomps away on him. Smith gets rammed into a nearby pillar. Meanwhile, Muraco crotches Funk on the ringpost. Everybody winds up back in the ring and Muraco takes out Smith’s knee with a chair. The referee actually looks for excuses to be too distracted to notice, back when they actually cared about accounting for that.

-Snuka throws a handful of powder at Funk, but Funk dodges and it goes into Muraco’s face. Smith takes advantage and rolls up Muraco for a three-count and a bit of an upset. 0 for 1. Total mess and no way to follow it.

SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA vs. TOMMY DREAMER
-Snuka applies a side headlock. Dreamer sends him into the ropes and gets shoulderblocked down. Snuka bounces off the ropes but gets slammed again and again before heading to the floor. Crowd taunts Snuka with, of all chants, “PIPER!” Shoving contest starts back in the ring, but Snuka ducks a charge and Dreamer goes over the top and onto the floor. Snuka cracks Dreamer with a chair in full view of the referee, so that early era didn’t last very long at all.

-Back in the ring, Snuka chops Dreamer down. He follows with a backbreaker, then heads to the top rope. Splash only gets two, and the crowd is more stunned than happy about that. The production team even goes to the trouble of making a chyron: “Tommy Dreamer: First Man Ever to Survive Superfly Splash.” A few of the fans are so taken by his show of heart that they hold up a “WET DREAMER” sign. Snuka gives it another go with the splash. It connects, but Snuka is so bothered by the kick-out that he continues wailing on Tommy just in case. Snuka goes up for a third splash, and that one gets the three-count. Dreamer is bleeding from the mouth like it’s going out of style post-match, and Snuka decides that he’s having too much fun and splashes him a fourth time post match. Tod Gordon comes in and tries to stop him from a fifth splash, so Snuka simply takes him out, too, and finally, a whole mess of wrestlers come in to stop the carnage. 0 for 2. It was a total squash, but I will say it was interesting to see Snuka playing such a different character than he played as either a heel or a face in the WWF.

TV TITLE: EDDIE GUERRERO vs. 2 COLD SCORPIO
-Scorpio has a taped-up shoulder, so look for that to come into play. Side headlock by Eddie to start. Shoulderblock goes nowhere because Scorpio makes it a point to use his good shoulder. Eddie is able to take him down and apply headscissors. Scorpio counters to an STF, and Eddie reverses it into a hammerlock faster than should really be humanly possible. Holy hell, dude.

-Suplex by Eddie and Scorpio decides to take a breather. Back in, he gives Eddie a shove that actually resonates and Eddie kips up. Both men trade takedowns and it’s a stalemate while the fans applaud. Scorpio offers a handshake, and Eddie happily accepts…and makes it a short-arm clothesline. Well, yeah.

-Somersault splash by Eddie and he applies the scorpion deathlock. Scorpio slides right out and tries to make it a leglock, but Eddie makes it to the ropes. Dropkick by Eddie, followed by a brainbuster. Splash gets two. Headlock by Eddie and some great camerawork gives us a great touch by Scorpio, who seems to be plotting his next move while fighting the hold. Underhook armdrag and a dropkick by Scorpio. Superkick served with extra “SMACK!” by Scorpio and he tosses Eddie to the floor. Scorpio gives Eddie two of the hardest Irish whips ever into the barricades, then suplexes him back inside for two. Double underhook suplex by Scorpio gets two. Eddie fights back with a low-blow and before Scorpio can even fight back, he takes him down with a clothesline. Scorpio goes to the floor. Eddie goes to the top rope and splashes him from the top and onto the concrete. With an “Eddie!” chant still echoing, both men head back inside, and Eddie clamps on a Perfectplex gets two.

-Scorpio desperately throws some punches at Eddie, but Eddie comes back quickly with a Tornado DDT from the second turnbuckle for two. Scorpio mounts another attempted comeback and gets crotched on the top rope. Eddie brings him down to the mat with a Frankensteiner for two. Scorpio gets a sudden flying bodypress in for two. Running out of ideas, he simply punches Eddie down for another two. Irish whip and a splash by Scorpio. Slam and a moonsault gets two.

-Powerbomb by Scorpio and he tries to finish with a tumbleweed for two. Superkick and a chop by Scorpio. He sends Eddie into the ropes and Eddie applies a bodyscissors coming back and flips himself and Scorpio over, rolling Scorpio and getting the three-count and the title. Joey notes that Eddie’s late partner, Art Barr, must be looking on with a smile on his face, which is about the fullest extent to which a wrestler’s death should be used, ever, for future reference. 1 for 3. Good storytelling here, with Scorpio trying to keep it sportsmanlike, Eddie saying “Fuck that, I came to win!” and Scorpio being all, “Well, two can play that!”

TERRY FUNK & TOMMY DREAMER vs. SHANE DOUGLAS (TV Champion) & “Prime Time” BRIAN LEE (with Francine)
-That’s weird, I don’t remember Brian Lee being inducted into the Hall of Fame. Pre-match, Douglas grabs the microphone and announces that from now on, his partner will be known as “Bulldozer Prime Time.” Joey calls him “Bounty Hunter,” so apparently, Lee had some sort of bet going with Bob Orton about simultaneous nicknames.

-Funk & Douglas look to start, but both men tag without making contact. Tommy gets the early advantage with a low blow and a Russian legsweep. Douglas tries to intervene, but Funk is all over him and they brawl on the floor while the legal men keep it in the ring. Francine yanks Funk away and she gets chased around for a while until Douglas attacks Funk with a chair. Meanwhile, Lee misses a charge and also winds up on the floor. Douglas takes out Tommy with the chair, but Tommy comes back with a bulldog in the chair’s general vicinity for two.

-Everybody winds up on the floor while Francine just kinda runs around. The action spills into the crowd, which is my favorite part of any ECW match, god knows. Funk gets fired up and no-sells a series of punches, and yes, they start doing the “walk around through everybody while throwing punches.” They wind out going outside the building, which dazzles the fans so much that they ignore the match and make faces at the camera. Everybody takes a merry jaunt back to the ring, where “Funk beats up Rob Feinstein!” I replayed it a few times to make sure that’s what Joey actually says; it took me by surprise.

-Lee intervenes to stop Funk from needlessly preying on a younger, less experienced man and Funk throws headbutts. Dreamer takes out Lee with a chair and Funk launches a chunk of barricade into the ring. Dreamer hits Douglas with a chair and he falls on the barricade. Tommy sets the barricade up in the corner and Terry lays a chair on it. Douglas and Lee both get whipped into it, and Lee just has it dropped on top of him with force for good measure. Douglas gets bodyslammed on top of the pile.

-Dreamer gets atomic dropped nut-first onto the barricade. Funk gamely fights both opponents but can’t keep it going. Lee splashes Dreamer on top of the barricade. Douglas attacks Dreamer’s knee with help from the barricade as Lee kicks the hell out of Funk in the aisle.

-Tommy begins fighting back and Francine moonsaults Tommy. Tommy catches her but his knee gives out and Douglas tries to finish right there. It only gets two. Douglas keeps going after the knee and only getting two. Meanwhile, Funk is bleeding like a sumbitch. Francine tries another moonsault, but this time Tommy is able to hold on and atomic drops her out of the ring. Lee comes back in and connects with a boot to the face Dreamer gets double-teamed as Funk begins sending chairs flying into the ring. Dreamer low blows both opponents and Funk heads back inside to help the comeback effort. Lee throws Dreamer over the top rope with a ridiculous amount of extra force and Funk goes outside to check on him.

-Funk sees he’s alone again and just goes back inside and punches anything that moves. Lee throws punches, but all that gets is “Goddamn you!” and windmill punches from Funk. A Spike piledriver and a single arm DDT later, suddenly, Funk isn’t so tough anymore. Lee & Douglas keep going after his neck and Douglas piledrives him through a table.

-Lee tombstones Dreamer for two. Douglas applies a full nelson on the mat and Francine slaps him until Beulah comes in with a cookie sheet and takes her out. Lee retaliates by headbutting Beulah (which WWE Classics edits for some reason). Belly-to-belly suplex by Shane on Beulah is also helpfully edited, and thank god, because there’s no way a child could imagine what a belly-to-belly looks like when it’s done on a woman instead of a man, so they’re totally safe. The match just totally stops as the EMTs scrape Beaulah off the mat.

-Everybody begins brawling in the crowd again and Funk comes off the top rope that actually clears the barricade and three rows of chairs. The nursing home staff is going to have a LOT of fun with this guy in 20 years, I’m sure. Back inside the ring, Funk goes insane and just mauls Douglas with a chair and targets his knee, which makes Douglas easy prey for the spinning toehold. Lee stops Funk from getting the submission and chokes him. Suddenly, Dreamer (who has been standing in the corner, just waiting & waiting until it came to a point where everybody forgot he was even over there) drills him with a camera, and Funk DDTs him for the three-count. 2 for 4. This is another good example of “controlled chaos,” where the match was just an array of hardcore, dangerous spots, but everything meant something and everything went in a logical sequence. I still hate brawling in the crowd, though.

JERRY “The King” LAWLER vs. TOMMY DREAMER
-We’re joined in progress at Hardcore Heaven ’97. This was during the half-hearted WWF vs. ECW feud, which wound up being more Jerry Lawler waging a one-man war against the company.

-Both men are bloody and brawling on the floor. Lawler atomic drops Dreamer on the barricade and grabs a strap. He smashes Dreamer’s face with the buckle and then chokes him out. He uses the belt to whip him into the barricade and then just cracks it across Dreamer’s back as hard as he possibly can. Lawler goes back to choking Dreamer and then ties him to the bottom rope. Lawler boots the piss out of Dreamer and then frees him to go for a piledriver. He hits it, but it’s Tommy Dreamer, so he can only get two. Lawler continues punching him down in the corner and begins encouraging the crowd to chant “ECW!” just to taunt them. Lawler tears off the “EC ‘F’n W” portion of Dreamer’s shirt to wipe his armpits and ass, and that seems to light a fire in Tommy, as he no-sells the next series of punches and pulls down his straps, which is a nice touch.

-Dreamer punches Lawler. Lawler gets pissed and pulls his own straps, only to fall over face-first immediately. Lawler is able to cut off the comeback from that position with a low-blow. He drops about a hundred knees into Tommy’s balls to drive his point home, and the referee winds up getting bumped as Tommy mounts some offense. Lawler seizes the opportunity by just DDTing the referee and going after Tommy’s balls some more, but Tommy anticipates and sends Lawler into the post. The lights suddenly go out in the ECW Arena, and when they come back it, it’s Rick Rude with a trash can to Tommy’s head. He murders Dreamer with the can and Lawler goes for the pin, but Tommy still won’t die. Lawler has a temper tantrum and stomps the referee’s head.

-Dreamer mounts another comeback when the lights suddenly go out again…and now it’s Jake “The Snake” Roberts clotheslining the hell out of Tommy and killing him with the DDT. Lawler is scared for his life (Acknowledging a year-old feud in another promotion! Huzzah!) and offers a handshake. Roberts accepts…and then clotheslines Lawler and walks away. Lawler happens to land on top of Dreamer and gets a two-count from that. Lawler throws punches again and goes for a slam, but Dreamer counters it and goes for his own DDT…and the lights go out again.

-And it’s Sunny this time! Sunny blinds Dreamer with hairspray, and Beulah runs in to get a catfight doing as an act of vengeance. Lawler goes for a piledriver on Beulah, but a low blow from Beulah and a low blow from Tommy turn the tide. DDT gives Tommy the win. 3 for 5. Overbooking was needless because both guys were putting on a good match without it, but what the hell, all of the cameos were the icing on the cake for this segment.

STEVE-A-MANIA!
-From Gangsta’s Paradise in 1995. They took about a five-second snippet of this and replayed the living hell out of it on RAW during Steve Austin’s peak there. Anyway, we have Steve Austin dressed as Hulk Hogan and telling “Mean Joey” and promising to train, say his prayers, and eat his vitamins to make himself a star like the kind they want for WCW…Then he abruptly pauses and refuses to keep going with the schtick because it doesn’t work anywhere. 4 for 6. Funny bit to introduce Austin to the audience.

SUPERSTAR STEVE AUSTIN vs. SANDMAN (with Woman)
-Joined in progress with Austin whipping Sandman into a table on the floor. Austin pounds him with a chair for good measure and chokes him out with a chunk of the table. Austin takes him back into the ring and does the Bossman leg drop for two. Front suplex and a knee follow. Austin snatches a bottle of beer from Woman and spits a mouthful into her face. He goes back into the ring and spits some in Sandman’s face too. HILARIOUS bit sees Woman pouring beer into the unconscious Sandman’s mouth, and he reacts to it like Popeye reacts to spinach and beats the hell out of Austin…

-Until the referee gets bumped, that is, and then Austin grabs some knucks and KOs Sandman. Sandman is able to get a foot on the ropes at two and Sandman gets his hands on the knucks. He KOs Austin and Austin gets a foot on the rope…but this time, the referee doesn’t see it and Sandman gets the three-count and wins. 5 for 7. Definitely interested in seeing the whole thing now. This was pretty fun.

-Joey & Tazz conclude by talking about ECW’s influence on the “Stone Cold” character. Actually pretty interesting stuff, and not smacking of WWE revisionism at all.

That's it for now. Here's Game Show Utopia.

The 411: Beggars can't be choosers, otherwise I'd whine about stuff being joined in progress. But this was a really good collection of action this time around, with Eddie/Scorpio and Funk & Co.'s tag team match alone being enough to merit a thumbs-up, but being surrounded by other solid bouts. Strong recommendation.

Final Score:  7.1   [ Good ]