The Name on the Marquee: Matt Striker's History Lesson #1

Posted by Adam Nedeff on 09.30.2009

A look at the WW-Something-or-Other in the 1980s!

Matt Striker’s History Lesson #1

-Here’s an interesting concept…Matt Striker hosts a seven-part series glossing over the more dominant territories of the good old days. Guess what territory they start with…

-Your host is, duh, Matt Striker. Great touch, as the graphic used to introduce him is the kind used on WWF-TV in the 80s.

-Matt gives us the absolute “what-we-need-to-know” details about the 1980s, like which title belts existed back then, what the major TV shows were, and Vince McMahon’s blue suit. Oh, by the way, Matt was in the crowd when Hulk Hogan beat the Iron Sheik for the title. But before either of those guys wore the belt, there was…

WORLD TITLE, TEXAS DEATH MATCH: BOB BACKLUND (Champion, with Arnold Skaaland) vs. KEN PATERA
-Backlund gets knocked out of the ring in short order and Patera wails on him and won’t let him back in. Backlund decides to just go with it and pulls Patera onto the floor and goes nuts on him with a series of pasty stomps and a headbutt. Back inside, blows are exchanged and Patera does a Flair flop variation onto the top turnbuckle. Backlund elbows him and chokes him on the middle rope for good measure. Patera goes to the eyes and rams Backlund shoulder-first into the turnbuckle. Standing front facelock and then a chinlock. Patera manages to make both of those holds look incredibly painful by shifting his weight downward onto Backlund as he applies them.

-Backlund counters with a snapmare and a shoulderblock. He tries another one, but Patera uses Backlund’s own momentum against him to fire him into the post. Patera tries to finish it right there by applying a full nelson, but Backlund rams himself into the corner, causing Patera to hit the turnbuckle and break the hold. Patera tosses him over the top rope and meets him on the floor. Patera comes off the top rope with an axehandle, and an elbow gets two. Patera tries to finish again and only gets one this time. Bearhug is clamped on and Backlund pops him flush on the nose, but Patera still won’t break it. Backlund goes to the eyes to break free and catches Patera with an atomic drop (his finisher at this point), but Patera is too close to the ropes and Backlund can’t get the pin. Backlund tries a piledriver for two. Backlund goes for a slam and Patera reverses to a small package for two. Backlund comes back with a suplex for two.

-Patera starts going to work on Backlund’s neck for a bit, but Backlund surprises him with a roll-up for two. Patera hits a suplex, and we get a weird bit where Backlund and Patera just lay on the mat and twitch while the referee lays next to them looking like he’s waiting for something to happen. Eventually, what happens is both men get back to their feet and Backlund applies an abdominal stretch. Patera uses a little force to send himself and Backlund through the ropes and onto the floor. Patera snatches the title belt from Arnold Skaaland and whacks Backlund with it a few times, leaving him laying and lacerated. Patera punches him to open him up a little more and sends him back into the ring. Then he kicks him back out of the ring.

-Back inside, fists are traded, but Backlund is weak and Patera wins that exchange. Patera tries for a backdrop and gets kicked down. Backlund tosses Patera over the top rope and onto the floor (with some breathtakingly shitty camera work). Backlund posts Patera and now Patera is bleeding. Back inside, Patera equalizes with a low blow. He goes to the top rope, but Backlund meets him there with a Flair slam. Fist from the top rope gets one when Patera gets a foot on the rope. Brawl goes out to the floor again and Patera plasters Backlund with a chair. Back in the ring, Backlund gets his hands on the chair and cracks him with it twice for two. He heads up top and hits a flying bodypress, and that’s good enough for three. 1 for 1. And there you have it, the 1980 Wrestling Observer Match of the Year. Nothing more than that needs to be said.

-We get a brief history of Wrestlemania, complete with a PERFECT impression of Howard Finkel by Matt.

TAG TEAM TITLE: MIKE ROTUNDO & BARRY WINDHAM (champions, with Captain Lou Albano) vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHIEK (with Classy Freddie Blassie)
-Huh. Weird choice, but I like the match, so, okay. The fans pelt the heels with so much trash that it actually causes audio problems for Gorilla & Jesse briefly. “Born in the USA” has been dubbed with a really good sound-alike instrumental. Sheik plants Rotundo with a shoulderblock to start, and Rotundo counters with a hiptoss and a dropkick that completely misses. Windham tags in and dodges a double-team attempt, and Sheik ends up hitting a nice-looking dropkick on his partner. Volkoff tags in and Windham & Rotundo work the arm, but Volkoff makes the comeback with an assist from Shiek’s notorious boot. Sheik tags in and he trades suplexes with Rotundo, but Volkoff tags in and we officially have our designated Morton for this match. Sheik puts the boots to Rotundo and follows with an abdominal stretch, but Rotundo counters out and makes the tag. It turns into a pier sixer and during the confusion, Shiek drills Windham with Blassie’s cane, and it’s a totally unexpected title change at 6:55. Fast-paced, not much resting, everybody came there to work. That’s a point. 2 for 2.

PIPER’S PIT
-The guest is Sgt. Slaughter, so you can see how these two guys sharing camera time would fit into an ‘80s recap. Piper calls Slaughter an idiot for fighting in Vietnam because of the way that the veterans got treated when they came home. Slaughter loses his temper and snatches the microphone, vowing that he bled for his country, but next time, he’ll die for his country. What kind of promise is THAT? Weird segment. 2 for 3.

BATTLE ROYAL
-From Saturday Night’s Main Event in March 1987. Thank heaven for the pre-match graphic. Your line-up for this bout is: Hillbilly Jim, Outlaw Ron Bass, Islanders, Leaping Lanny Poffo, Hercules, “The Natural” Butch Reed, “Mister Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, Billy Jack Haynes, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Blackjack Mulligan, Demolition, Honky Tonk Man, Killer Bees, Andre the Giant, and Hulk Hogan.

-Hogan tries to make his entrance, but Andre walks right up to the ropes to block his entrance. Hogan shows him the belt and Andre happily backs off and lets him in. Hogan & Orndorff look to start brawling, but Paul Orndorff sneaks up and Orndorffs Hogan. Hogan & Andre are separated in the fracas, and Hulk scores the first elimination of the match, dumping Honky Tonk Man. Andre tosses Sika, showing that he doesn’t care about heel/face alignment. Andre eliminates Haku. (The Colossal Connection…EXPLODES!) He goes to Lanny Poffo and gives him a hard headbutt before tossing him, and Lanny does a shockingly gory blade job to sell Andre’s brutality. He literally leaves a puddle of blood and goes out on a stretcher.

-Hulk eliminates Ron Bass and Andre eliminates Mulligan (The Machines…EXPLODE!) Volkoff is out via Hogan. Brian Blair is out via Andre. A Hogan-Orndorff brawl erupts again as Andre just goes from Hogan-buddy to Hogan-buddy, with Hillbilly Jim getting the bulk of the punishment. Hercules & Orndorff double-team Hogan and Irish whip him into the waiting Andre the Giant. Great touch as everybody else in the ring stops wrestling for a while to watch them. Hulk gets the upper hand with punches and suddenly Orndorff & Demolition gang up on Hogan. Hogan fights them off and eliminates Orndorff, and Andre sneaks up from behind, headbutts him, and calmly tosses him to the floor. Andre sneers and shakes his arms off to convey “too easy”. Hogan pockets the sportsmanship trophy by demanding to go back into the ring, even though he was cleanly eliminated. The referees and security take Hulk back to the locker room, and we’ll be back!

-Andre dispatches Jim Brunzell, and finally, everybody remaining in the ring gangs up on Andre and log-rolls him over the top rope and onto the floor (but why did Hercules help?) Andre leaves without incident as Hercules unloads Tama. Smash (now Barry Darsow) eliminates Hillbilly Jim. Ax was apparently eliminated when nobody was looking. Ware eliminates Reed, for some easy heat to build their match.

-Your final four are Billy Jack Haynes, Hercules, Koko B. Ware, and Smash. Smash pounds away at Haynes as Hercules & Koko trade fists. Hercules shakes it off and dumps Koko. Haynes gets double-teamed by the heels until catching Smash with a forearm, sending him over the top rope (in a spot that was clearly bungled the first time, done a second time, and spliced together in post-production). We’re down to Billy Jack & Hercules, but Bobby Heenan gets Billy Jack’s attention, Haynes takes the bait, and Hercules sneaks up and eliminates him. Solid booked-for-TV battle royal, with Hogan & Andre built sufficiently, and an undercard match getting a little love for the finish. 3 for 4.

WORLD TITLE: HULK HOGAN (Champion) vs. ANDRE THE GIANT (with Bobby Heenan)
-From Wrestlemania III. So the bell sounds and Hogan & Andre stare each other down in the middle of the ring. Shoves are traded and Hogan throws punches at Andre. He tries a slam right there, but collapses under the weight and Andre gets a VERY close two-count. They managed to get an extra year and a half out of the feud from that spot. Bobby Heenan complains about the referee’s decision (“That was THREE, you asshole!”), but Andre just accepts it and goes to work on Hogan’s injured back.

-Andre throws forearms at Hogan’s back and demands that he get up. He slams Hogan and Hogan sells it like he’s been shot by bullets covered with tiny knives. Another slam by Andre and he walks across Hogan’s back. Andre Irish whips Hogan and does it again. Andre rams Hogan with shoulders in the corner, followed by a butt ram and a headbutt. Hogan ducks another headbutt and Andre hits the turnbuckle. Forearms and punches by Hogan as he mounts his comeback. Chops by the champ and he rams Andre into the turnbuckle 10 times. He charges at Andre but takes a faceful of boot. Andre chops Hogan and applies a bearhug. The crowd gets behind Hogan and they’re getting so worked up that the hard camera begins shaking.

-Hulk appears to pass out, but he raises the arm and punches free. Shoulderblock by Hogan. Another shoulderblock, but Andre won’t go down. Hogan goes for another shoulderblock but gets chopped down. Andre kicks Hogan in the stomach and sends him to the floor. He chops Hogan and attempts a headbutt, but Hogan ducks and Andre hits “the post” (his hand, and it’s not terribly convincing at all from such a close camera angle. Hogan boldly attempts a piledriver on the floor, but gets backdropped. Back in the ring, Andre misses a boot, and Hogan connects with a clothesline that takes Andre off his feet immediately. Hulk gets to his feet and bodyslams the big guy, then drops the leg and gets the three-count. 4 for 5. Match wasn’t great (it was the Observer’s Worst Match of the Year) but for history, it’s a must-see. And the MVP for the match is…your broadcasting team. Listen to just the audio of this bout and you’ll hear the performance of a lifetime from Gorilla & Jesse.

-Matt wraps up with a story about meeting Andre the Giant and Andre asking his parents for a ride.

-Adam wraps up with Game Show Utopia plugging.

The 411: A nice collection of matches, but I was hoping the "History" aspect would come a little more into play. If you actually want a history lesson, pass it, but if you want some good matches, watch it.

Final Score:  7.9   [ Good ]