The Name on the Marquee: WWF at Boston Garden (09.12.87)

Posted by Adam Nedeff on 10.05.2009

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

-I'm actually kinda curious to see this one. Killer Khan had a weird run, because they pushed the living hell out of him in 1987 and he's in YOUR main event, competing for the world title tonight. And yet, if you look at any history of wrestling with the year 1987 discussed at length, it seems like he didn't even exist. Well, here's the proof that he did, and that he went for the big one while he was there...

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Lord Alfred Hayes.

LEAPING LANNY POFFO vs. “The Duke of Dorchester” PETE DOUGHERTY
-Dougherty does the logical thing, like it or not, by just attacking Lanny during his poem and taking him out to the floor. Duke continues the assault back in the ring, pulling Poffo’s jacket over his face for a hockey-style beatdown. Duke chokes Poffo while Gorilla implores the referee to do something, even if it’s wrong.

-Poffo begins to show life with punches and kicks. ‘Rana grounds the Duke and Poffo continues his own assault until Dougherty heads to the floor to regroup. Back in, Poffo applies a wristlock and Duke gets to the ropes for a clean break. Test of strength threatens to go Duke’s way, so Poffo just lays down and flips him with headscissors. Stepover toehold by the Dukester. Poffo gets free and tries to work the arm. Duke reverses it, but Lanny hangs on and bridges, turning the Duke’s hold against him and creating a grapevine/pinning combo. Both men start to show their aggressive side again with punches and elbows. Poffo faceplants Dougherty and rolls him up for a two-count.

-Duke goes to the eyes to get the advantage back and drops a few knees. Dougherty turns his back and Poffo sits straight up to show the crowd he’s not really hurt. Dougherty gets to the top rope and Poffo Flair-slams him and gets a few near falls from that. Dougherty begins fighting back again and they battle for a front facelock, but they get frustrated with it and just trade punches again. Dougherty goes for a backdrop and Poffo PUNTS him with a kick that resonates through the entire Garden. Poffo gets a backdrop of his own and slams Dougherty in place for the moonsault, but the Duke raises his knees to counter it. Slam by the Duke, and he follows with a backbreaker for the three-count. 1 for 1. Holy crap, what got into these two guys tonight? They never took a break, they moved at 100 MPH almost from bell-to-bell and broke out a pretty good variety of maneuvers. Good match!

SCOTT CASEY & S.D. JONES vs. SHADOWS
-Gorilla and Alfred joke about Alfred screwing up a while back and referring to Scott as “My good friend, Fred Casey.” I miss these casual, freewheeling moments that the commentators used to have.

-Scott starts with #1 (Fat Shadow). #1 applies a wristlock and Casey grabs onto the referee’s shoulder and uses it to backflip himself out of the hold. Nice! #1 tries to throw punches, but everything gets blocked and Casey hits an atomic drop, followed by a shoulderblock. Crucifix gets two. Casey gets flying headscissors and holds onto it to try to get the submission. #1 survives, but he’s had enough and makes the tag. SD steps in, too, and we get a shoulderblock by SD. Hard clothesline grounds #2. Casey & Jones work the arm as I suddenly realize that Vince should have kept these guys together and given them a train engineer gimmick.

-#1 steps back in and targets the very black head of SD Jones. That backfires like you’d expect and the Choo-Choos work his arm. #2 hits a well-timed knee to the back from the apron. Backbreaker by #1 gets two. The Shadows switch off behind the referee’s back and #1 runs into a headbutt by Casey. #1 misses a charge. Casey makes the tag, but Shadows distract the referee AND switch off illegally for good measure, but Casey won’t say die.

-Casey gets fed up and starts going after the mask, but the Shadows manage to outwrestle him and #1 suplexes him. SD Jones breaks the pin and they retaliate by double-teaming and switching again. Bearhug by #2. Casey starts to untie the mask, but the Shadow hangs onto the bearhug anyway, so Casey claps his hands in miraculous fashion. If clapping your hands is enough to break a bearhug, why don’t you do it immediately?

- Casey finally makes the tag and SD Jones is a house of fire. Noggin knocker, punches, abdominal stretch, but SD doesn’t have the leg hooked according to Gorilla, so he sucks and will be fined $500 for good measure. Anyway, Casey gets knocked out to the floor and the Shadows double-team Jones until one Shadow accidentally clotheslines the other out of the ring, and Jones rolls him up for the pin. 2 for 2. I’d call it a surprise, but you actually had some pretty good workers in there.

SIVI AFI vs. STEVE LOMBARDI
-Afi gets the early advantage with a shoulderblock and a hiptoss. Duke Dougherty suddenly arrives at ringside in a suit and demands a chance to show that he’s a better commentator than Lord Alfred Hayes. His Lordship cheerfully complies and turns over his headset to Dougherty, which is kind of like giving up a case of sniffles for the flu.

-In the ring, Lombardi clotheslines Afi. Headlock by Lombardi and Afi elbows free the moment he hears the first rumblings of a “boring” chant. Lombardi tosses Afi to the floor and denies him re-entry. He eventually brings Afi back in with a suplex for two. Lombardi sinks his teeth into Afi amd then rams Afi’s head into the turnbuckle. Afi is just Polynesian enough that he can no-sell it, but Lombardi takes the advantage back with a punch. Wait, so a shot to the head doesn’t hurt, but a shot to the head hurts? What the hell?

-Afi mounts a comeback with chops and a clothesline. Diving headbutt gets two. Another headbutt, another two. Bodypress by Afi, but Lombardi holds on and reverses, rolling up Afi for a three-count. 2 for 3. Didn’t quite get into this one.

WORLD TITLE: HULK HOGAN (Champion) vs. KILLER KHAN (with Mr. Fuji)
-Build-up for this one was kind of interesting, as Hulk took the green sputum to the eyes and fell victim to an attack by Khan, but the attack only aired in cities where they planned on having this match.

-Khan attacks and chokes Hogan out. Fuji adds a choke of his own from ringside. Khan whips Hogan with the title belt, and the “Hogan” chant is deafening. Khan tries to blind Hogan with the sputum, but Hogan ducks and the referee gets blinded. Meanwhile, Khan applies another choke. A new referee runs in to take over and Khan knocks Hogan out to the floor. Fuji attacks Hogan with “the steel cane” (Oh, COME ON!) while Khan distracts the referee. Hogan makes it back into the ring, but Khan goes to the throat with a double chop. Khan misses a kneedrop and Hogan starts going to town on Khan with his wrist tape and chokes the hell out of him. Khan’s shocked sell of it is great, looking truly surprised that Hogan the role model would be willing to match dirty tactics.

-Hogan sends Khan to the floor and just beats whatever sputum Khan has left out of him with a chair. Chops by Hogan and he lobs Khan back inside. Fuji attacks him with the cane, but Hogan no-sells it this time. Khan starts to recover and chops Hogan down once he gets back into the ring. Nerve hold by Khan as I notice that all of the cameramen at ringside are wearing Hulkamania t-shirts. I cannot fathom a more blatant example of media bias.

-Hogan raises his arm after two and comes back with shoulderblocks, but Khan brings him back down with a hard chop. Kneedrop from the second rope by Khan, but Hogan kicks out at two. Shoulda gone to the top rope like you usually did with that move, Khan.

-Khan panics and tries to spit at Hogan again, but Hogan catches it in his hand and then grinds it across Khan’s eyes, blinding him. Khan is easy prey, and the legdrop finishes. 3 for 4. Standard Hogan formula guiding a pretty exciting brawl.

DAVEY BOY SMITH vs. HERCULES
-“Davey Boy, the Dynamite…Davey Boy Smith” according to Mel Phillips. The Duke announces his retirement at the opening of the bout, I guess applying the “quit while you’re ahead” way of thinking to his wrestling career.

-Smith blocks punches but falls victim to a boot. Hercules misses a charge and Smith Irish whips him. I hard punch sends Hercules out to the floor. Back in, he demands a test of strength. Smith obliges, so Hercules boots him and tries a wristlock. Smith flips his way free and reverses it, so Hercules punches free and applies a side headlock. Smith sends him into the ropes and Hercules comes back with a shoulderblock. Forearms by Smith; he goes for a crucifix, but Hercules simply falls backward and drops him. Kneedrop and a choke by Hercules. Herc gets a series of two-counts and then hammers Smith with forearms while catching his breath. Irish whip by Hercules and another one, and he pauses to catch his breath again. His next move, not surprisingly, is a bearhug.

-Smith reverses it, so Hercules goes to the eyes to break it immediately. He clotheslines Smith down and gets two. Duel for a suplex goes Davey Boy’s way, but now both men are hurt. Smith recovers and gives Hercules another suplex. Elbow by Smith, and a clothesline gets two. Running powerslam by Davey Boy, but instead of going for the pin, he goes to the top rope. Fatal mistake, as Hercules gets out of the way and Smith crashes. Hercules locks in the full nelson and gets the submission for the win. Huh. 4 for 5. Davey Boy did a great job of stepping up and carrying this once Hercules got blown up, and it was a good match.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. “Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE (with Virgil)
-Ted is technically the hometown boy in this match, making his summer residence in Hyannisport, MA, but the crowd still boos him out of the building. It’s also clear that they’ve been saving their garbage for this guy.The crowd has behaved themselves the entire night, but DiBiase shows up and suddenly the ring looks like a dumpster. DiBiase offers Beefcake “a thousand…no, five hundred dollars” to forfeit the bout. Duke Dougherty can’t believe the reaction that the crowd is giving to “Beetus Broofcake.” Brutus refuses to leave, but sucker-punches DiBiase, steals the money, and gives it to the fans at ringside.

-The match starts proper and Beefcake beats the hell out of DiBiase. Beefcake ducks a clothesline but gets caught with a boot. Beefcake recovers quickly and tries to finish immediately with the sleeper. DiBiase gets to the ropes and goes outside for a breather. Back inside, DiBiase begins throwing punches to take control. Beefcake reverses an Irish whip and backdrops DiBiase. DiBiase begins coming back with punching and kicking. Snapmare and a fistdrop between the eyes. He chokes Beefcake out and chops him down. More choking by DiBiase. He goes for a backdrop, but Beefcake makes it a small package for two. DiBiase comes right back from that with a suplex for two. DiBiase applies a headlock, but Beefcake gets to his feet and elbows free. DiBiase heads to the second rope, but gets caught with a punch. Beefcake lays into him and sends him into the turnbuckle. Shoulderblock by Beefcake. He goes for another one and Virgil hooks the leg. Beefcake is sufficiently distracted and gets rolled up for the three-count. 5 for 6. Not a classic, but I enjoyed it.

TAG TEAM TITLE: HART FOUNDATION (Champions) vs. SIKA & MR. FUJI
-The phrase “Card subject to change” was made for matches like this. Face pop for the Harts because, come on, who’s gonna cheer for Mr. Fuji? What makes this a little insane is that the commentary team puts over Fuji as a heavyweight and doesn’t even acknowledge that he was a manager earlier in the evening. They’re acting like he’s a genuine contender for a championship. Dude, you don’t need to BS us, just say Fuji wrangled his way into a title shot during contract negotiations, or, hell, bury the departing Kamala and say Fuji stepped in because he didn’t trust Sika’s regular tag team partner to get the job done.

-Anvil starts with Fuji and beats the hell out of him with forearms. Fuji tags immediately and Sika & Anvil engage in fisticuffs. Sika gets whipped into Bret’s boot. Bret comes in and ducks a chop, so Fuji gets a handful of hair from the apron to drop Bret. He applies a nervehold while the referee is distracted and Sika stomps on Bret’s gastranemeous. I think it looked closer to the taint, myself, Gorilla. Bret continues getting double-teamed in the corner as Anvil complains. Bret makes an abbreviated comeback, but Fuji hits a low blow and Sika & Fuji switch off without tagging. Anvil keeps making the save on near-falls. Fuji tries a falling headbutt, but Bret moves out of the way and Anvil beats the hell out of his former manager. Bearhug by Anvil and Sika steps in to break it. Bret dropkicks Sika out of the ring. Fuji tries to slam Anvil and Bret dropkicks his partner on top of Fuji, and that gets the pin to retain the gold. 5 for 7. Nothing to see here. Sika cleans house post-match. Sika’s 1986-88 run was weird because they always acted like they were about to push him, but then never got around to it.

GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE vs. KING HARLEY RACE
-King nearly gets to an altercation with a fan on the way to the ring. Dougherty whips out “goddamn” on commentary, so he’s off and running in the new job. Funny visual sees Race cutting a promo to the broadcast team about how Steele doesn’t belong in wrestling because he’s a maniac; meanwhile, in the background, we see Steele chasing the referee around and out of the ring.

-Race gets caught in the corner and bitten by Steele. Steele also takes a shot at the referee, but Race takes advantage with a sneak attack. Steele kicks back and Race headbutts him. Steele reverses an Irish whip and Race takes his crazy bump over the top and onto the concrete. Steele brings him back inside with a forearm and punches. Race headbutts the abdomen and connects with a kneelift. Action goes back out to the floor and Steele posts Race a few times.

-Back inside, Race gets a low blow in. Clothesline is countered by Steele biting the arm. Race rams Steele into the broadcast table and Steele takes a free shot at Dougherty, which surprises the Duke so much that he begins laughing. Steele tosses four chairs into the ring and Harley grabs one and pounds Steele with it, getting himself disqualified. Steele fights back as the bell rings and they brawl in the aisle. 5 for 8. Unfettered chaos with a weak finish. Steele puts on the crown and gobbles a turnbuckle post-match.

-That's it for now. Here's Game Show Utopia for a sense of closure.

The 411: It's a good show, actually, and it's good in spots where you're not expecting it. Take a look.

Final Score:  6.3   [ Average ]