The Name on the Marquee: Matt Striker's History Lesson #2

Posted by Adam Nedeff on 10.08.2009

Do you want to play a game?

-The subject of today’s lesson is Jim Crockett Promotions. Matt glosses over the title belts and ad-libs a little bit about his favorite belt, the National Title. He gives Dusty props for inventing Starrcade and the Great American Bash, and we go to a Starrcade bout to start things off.

$10,000 PLUS THE NWA TELEVISION TITLE: TULLY BLANCHARD (Champion) vs. RICKY STEAMBOAT
-From Starrcade ’84, and WWEClassics.com gives us the complete ring intros. Good god, Dr. Tom Miller was a great ring announcer. There’s actually a bit of a story to this one, as Tully Blanchard had won the title early in 1984 and just wouldn’t let go of it. This drew a bit of backlash from the small “in-the-know” crowd who saw Tully as the son of a promoter and one of “Dusty’s boys,” and Steamboat ultimately got fed up with all the bullshit and departed shortly after this show.

-Tully throws a lot of chops for an early advantage, but Steamboat is game and captures the advantage with some shots between the eyes. Snapmare and a kneedrop lead to an attempted breather by Tully, but Steamboat suplexes him back in for a two-count. Steamboat gets a float-over headlock. Blanchard tries to roll out, but Steamboat just keeps hanging on until Tully makes the ropes. Steamboat gets a high kneelift, but the effects of a previous rib injury cause Steamboat to hesitate a bit, and Blanchard recovers and gets a series of cheap shots to the ribs. Backbreaker by Tully and he keeps attacking the ribs. Steamboat fights back and drops Tully. Even a chop hurts Steamboat’s ribs, but they get the job done and Tully hits the mat. Steamboat drops a series of knees for a two-count. Steamboat tries a headlock, but Tully makes the ropes and gets a few knees into the ribs. Very nice-looking back suplex by Tully and a shot to the kidneys gets two. Steamboat slips out of an attempted headlock and cinches one of his own on Tully until they get to the ropes. Tully backs off and they circle the ring a few times for an awkward break in the action. Steamboat finally gets a hard powerslam off the ropes for two. He drives Tully into the turnbuckle and a double chop drops Tully for two. Steamboat just won’t let up and gets a shot to the neck for two. Steamboat spits right in Tully’s face and throws chops. Neckbreaker gets a two-count. Steamboat does a springboard suplex on Tully for some taste-your-own-medicine goodness and a two-count. Dropkick gets another two-count. Steamboat chops Tully down and Tully is bleeding for some reason. The NWA: Where You Don’t Really Need a Reason.

-Blanchard retreats to the apron and Steamboat suplexes him back in, and Tully punches him with something on the way down and Steamboat is easy prey. Flying bodypress gets a two-count. Tully tries a superpelx, but Steamboat shoves him off and connects with a splash for two. Steamboat tries for a sunset flip, but Tully produces the hidden weapon one more time and KOs Steamboat for a three-count, a $10,000 bonus, and the NWA TV Title. 1 for 1. Good match, and it wasn’t just a one-sided matter of Steamboat carrying his opponent. Tully did a good job proving himself worthy here.

-Matt sets up the next segment by looking into the wrong camera, as a nod to David Crockett & Tony Schiavone.

SCAFFOLD MATCH: ROAD WARRIORS (with Paul Ellering) vs. MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (with Jim Cornette & Big Bubba Rogers)
-From Starrcade ’86, sponsored by Bad Idea Jeans. MX takes their sweet time going to the top of the scaffold. Dennis makes it to the top and crawls through Animal’s legs to escape the onslaught but meets Hawk. Animal & Bobby very gingerly hit each other. Hawk gently stomps Dennis while holding onto a wobbly barricade. Each of the Road Warriors takes a faceful of evil powder, and Jim makes his way over to the table and says “You can’t hit what you can’t see, Tony!” in the goofiest fake voice possible. Hawk teases falling off, but Dennis actually pulls him back onto the scaffold for no sufficiently-explored reason to continue the gentle assault. Bobby “No Fear” Eaton winds up hanging upside-down from the scaffold for the moment before reaching over and balancing himself underneath the bridge where all the action is taking place. Both members of MX are bleeding now, somehow, and Dennis has had enough and starts climbing down the scaffold. Hawk won’t let him and starts kicking and stomping away from up above. Hawk climbs down to tend to Dennis, who fights back with punches. It’s just a fistfight between all four men for a while, and the battle goes to the underside of the scaffold, with all four men moving back & forth like they’re on monkey bars. Dennis gets kicked off, Bobby gets kicked off, and the Roadies are your winners. Post-match, Jim Cornette takes a fall off the scaffold himself, supposedly to be rescued by the waiting Big Bubba, but Bubba completely misses him and Jim’s knee is injured to this day. You can hear him saying “My knee! My right knee! Carry me!” to Bubba, but Bubba doesn’t get that poor Jim is serious, and he ends up having to tough it out and walk backstage. 1 for 2. One of my great fears is that somebody with power in WWE will become overwhelmed by nostalgia and we’ll have to sit through something like this again someday.

STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE UNITED STATES TITLE: LEX LUGER (Champion, with JJ Dillon) vs. DUSTY RHODES
-Man, this is a great episode, I only have to copy-paste from one previous review! If Dusty loses, he has to leave for 90 days. Johnny Weaver is your official key-holder for this match, and since cage matches usually don’t have an “official key-holder,” I’m thinking this is going to come up during the bout. Also, I just want to say, it doesn’t help make the cage look secure from chicanery when the referee passes the belt to the ring attendant through a gaping space between the cage and the mat.

-Lock-up goes nowhere, and then Luger throws a flurry of punches. Dusty breaks loose with an elbow and then, horror of horrors, he does a muscleman pose. Dusty with Flip Flop & Fly, followed by an atomic drop. Dusty tries the Weaverlock (a sleeperhold) for an early finish, but Luger makes it to the rope. Shoulderblock by Luger, but when he goes for another one, Dusty catches him in the Weaverlock again. Luger again makes it to the ropes. Snapmare by Luger, but he misses an elbow and Dusty locks in an armbar. Elbow by Dusty while keeping the armbar locked in. He switches to a wristlock and then a hammerlock, which is all clever psychology when your opponent’s selling point is being freakishly strong. Luger fights free but misses a charge and Dusty goes right back to the arm. Hammerlock by Dusty, and he stomps the elbow. Luger fights back and rams Dusty into the unforgiving steel. Dusty is busted open. Luger sends him into the cage again for two. Snapmare and an elbow get another two-count. Luger starts to attack the back and takes a breather to pose. Dusty comes back with a dropkick off the ropes, but he’s out of it and can’t follow up. Backbreaker by Luger to set up the torture rack, but in a hilarious moment, Dusty proves to be too much for Luger and Luger gives up and drops Dusty. Tony attributes it to Dusty using his “presence” (ahem) and shifting his weight with the assistance of his presence. Oh, if only Tony had been quick enough to think of “Dusty injured Lex’s arm to the point that he can’t lock in that torture rack!”

-Armbar by Luger, and he uses the ropes for some leverage. Dusty fights his way to his feet but gets yanked down by the hair. Luger backs Dusty into the corner and punches away, but Dusty hulks up. And it’s the NWA version of Hulking up, meaning he gives Luger the double-bird and yells “Fuck off!” Laugh all you want, it’s more realistic than pointing and saying “You! No more!” in mid-fight. Dusty clamps on the Weaverlock one more time and Luger can’t make it to the ropes, thanks to Dusty’s “leverage.” JJ coldcocks Johnny Weaver while Luger coldcocks the referee. JJ then launches a chair into the ring, which, honestly, he could have done without assaulting the official key-holder. Luger goes for the chair, but Rhodes acts quickly and DDTs Luger on top of the chair for the pin and the title. 2 for 3. Better than I really expected. Oh, and fun fact, Dusty was supposed to lose here and become “The Midnight Rider,” but he decided he’d rather win the title, and we had to wait a few more months for the Rider.

-We talk about War Games. Matt casually mentions Ric Flair while setting up the match and an excited stagehand offers a “Woo!” off-camera.

WAR GAMES: DUSTY RHODES, NIKITA KOLOFF, ROAD WARRIORS, & PAUL ELLERING vs. RIC FLAIR, LEX LUGER, ARN ANDERSON, TULLY BLANCHARD, & WAR MACHINE (with Dark Journey & JJ Dillon)
-War Machine is Big Bubba Rogers under a mask, subbing for an injured Dillon. Dusty & Arn start and Dusty dominates early on with elbows. He tosses Arn into the cage and Arn’s already bleeding. That just pisses him off, though, so he gets in a low blow and targets the leg. Dusty takes control back with a DDT. He tries to work the leg himself. Arn fights him, so Dusty just sends him into the cage again and cheese grates him. Anderson tries to escape to the other ring and make Dusty chase him, but Dusty gets a hold of him and suplexes him down. Dusty gets the figure four locked in. Audio is INCREDIBLE here, with microphones right up against the ring and catching Arn screaming in agony as he fights the hold.

-Five minutes have expired and the Horsemen win the coin toss. War Machine comes in and Dusty makes him chase him. Dusty actually manages to fight him off, but Arn and War Machine both punch the hell out of the Dream to take him down. They go to work on the leg with stomps and a splash.

-Dusty starts to rally with elbow after elbow after elbow as Hawk comes into the ring to make everything even. Hawk breaks out every move in his arsenal plus five or six that I didn’t know about in the space of thirty seconds. Dusty takes Arn out with a lariat as War Machine hammers Dusty. Double-teaming puts a stop to that and Hawk & Dusty are all over their opponents with elbows. Machine rallies and takes down both guys by himself.

-Flair comes in next and Arn & Ric double team Hawk until he wipes both of them out with a clothesline. Flair goes low and lobs Hawk into the cage. Dusty hammers Flair & War Machine while Arn takes control of Hawk. Flair bites Dusty to aggravate the wound a little bit. Hawk no-sells a piledriver and fights off War Machine with a dropkick. Hawk’s bleeding, too, now.

-Nikita Koloff arrives to make it 3 vs. 3. Koloff takes his turn at no-selling a piledriver and sickles Anderson so hard that I think he becomes attached to the mat when he lands. Sickle for Flair, but that’s not good enough, so Koloff just throws him into the cage a few times. Flair is bleeding to nobody’s surprise. Cute bit sees every face take turns doing the ten punches standing on the second rope spot.

-Tully Blanchard arrives and the Horsemen just go nuts on Dusty. Blanchard does a swinging kick from the roof of the cage and then goes back to work on Dusty’s leg. War Machine gets his shots in, but Dusty just suddenly no-sells and slams him down.

-Animal arrives for 4 vs. 4. He traps Tully in a bearhug and just swings him back & forth into the cage, opening him up. Flair tries to help with a series of chops, but Animal no-sells. Anderson sends Animal into the cage and that finally works.

-Lex Luger comes in and he’s actually a one-man wrecking crew to start. Animal fights him off with punches and takes Luger off his feet with a shoulderblock. He tosses Tully like a javelin into the next ring. Road Warriors deal with Flair & Luger in one ring and manage to fight them off.

-Paul Ellering as his sexy tank top & pink tights run in to begin the match beyond. He brings a wristband covered with spikes into the ring with him and grinds various opponents with it. Flair fights back by biting him, but Ellering sends him into the turnbuckles. Animal clotheslines War Machine down. He gets up, but Hawk takes him down next. War Machine gets up one more time and Dusty takes him down. Koloff runs over and sickles War Machine to take him down yet again. Animal grabs the spiked wristband and jams it into War Machine’s eye until he submits, and Dusty & the Gang take the win. 3 for 4. I need a cigarette.

Head to Game Show Utopia for whatnot and so forth.

The 411: Okay, you owe it to yourself to watch that War Games match. The rest of the action is good or at least (in the case of the scaffold match) "train-wreck interesting." Absolutely give this one a look.

Final Score:  8.5   [ Very Good ]