The Name on the Marquee: Saturday Night's Main Event (10.03.87)

Posted by Adam Nedeff on 10.17.2009

Randy Savage gets by with a little help from his friends.

-Okay kids, buckle up for the 1987-88 episodes of Saturday Night’s Main Event, because booking & match-wise, they’re about to churn out their best season.

-Cold open promos: Honky Tonk Man is going to retain the Intercontinental Title, and he’s going to steal Elizabeth for good measure! Randy Savage throws confetti for some reason and promises to send Honky to Disgraceland! King Kong Bundy will prove that Paul Orndorff is nothing without Bobby Heenan! Sika eats a rubber chicken to prepare for Hulk Hogan! Hulk says Sika is entering his jungle!

-Originally aired October 3, 1987.

-We’re in Hershey, PA. Sharp-eyed fans will notice that the opening wide shot of the arena is the one seen in the opening montage when they changed it in 1988.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bobby Heenan. Funny opening sees Vince note the common bond between all three title matches on tonight’s card: Bobby doesn’t manage anybody involved. Bobby doesn’t like having that pointed out, but promises a big surprise later in the night.

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: HONKY TONK MAN (Champion, with Jimmy Hart) vs. RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (with Elizabeth)
-Very minor historical footnote for this match. This marks the first use of Honky’s iconic track from the Piledriver album for his entrance. Unless I’m forgetting something, I think that’s the only important thing that happens here.

-Lock-up goes all over the ring until Honky takes a cheap shot that sends Savage into the corner. He goes for a backdrop but gets kicked down. Savage snaps Honky’s neck over the top rope, then chokes him out. He sends Honky into the turnbuckle and snapmares him. Kneedrop follows and Honky begs for mercy. Savage gives him a boot instead. Irish whip and an elbow by Savage. Outside the ring, Jimmy Hart goes after Elizabeth and that’s a good distraction, because here comes Savage to take care of it, and here comes Honky to attack from behind.

-Back inside, Honky misses a clothesline and gets elbowed down. Series of jabs by Savage and he goes for another kneedrop, but Honky moves and drops an axehandle. Savage tries to fight back, but Honky snapmares him down and goes to the second rope. Fistdrop by Honky and he goes outside the ring to say hello to Elizabeth. Savage recovers and attacks Honky from behind. Axehandle from the top rope, and he sends Honky back inside and takes him from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. He rolls up Honky, but Jimmy Hart yanks Savage’s hair to pull him off. Savage goes for another pin and Jimmy does it again. Savage goes to the top rope and hits a double axehandle. Jimmy grabs Honky’s ankle and pulls him toward the rope, and Savage has finally had enough and KOs Jimmy with a single punch. Honky recovers and goes for a sunset flip, but Savage punches him and Honky goes outside. He realizes that Jimmy Hart is unconscious while he’s out there, and the Hart Foundation suddenly heads to the ring to tend to their fallen leader while Savage continues the assault on Honky. He boots and chokes Honky, then punches him out of the ring. Honky is so distracted that he just forgets about the match altogether and helps the Hart Foundation carry Jimmy out of the arena. We’ll see what happens next, after these messages!

-Honky and the Harts return to the ring without Jimmy. Savage picks up where he left off, dropping an elbow. Honky fights back with kicks. Savage goes after him with elbows, but misses a charge. Honky backdrops Savage and flirts with Elizabeth until Savage suddenly hooks his legs and gets a near fall from it. Honky goes back to work with a series of punches in the corner. Snapmare by Honky and he goes back to the second rope for another fistdrop. This one misses and Savage lights into him with elbows and a baaaaaaack bodydrop. Honky begs for mercy again and gets another boot. Honky’s a slow learner.

-Savage chokes him in the corner. He elbows Honky down for a two-count. Suplex gets another two-count. Honky rakes his eyes and tosses Savage to the floor, where the Foundation pummels Savage as Honky jaws with the referee. The Harts load Savage back into the ring and Honky goes for the pin, but he can only get two. Shake, Rattle, & Roll is blocked & countered with a backdrop. Bodyslam by Savage. Flying elbow looks to finish, but in come the Harts to finish the job, double-teaming the hell out of Savage and allowing Honky to retain the title thanks to the trusty disqualification rule. 1 for 1, and unless anybody can direct me to something better, I’ll go ahead and declare this Honky’s best match ever.

-But back to the ring, where Honky has recovered to make it a 3-on-1 attack while Elizabeth panics. Honky grabs his guitar and winds it up while the Harts hold Savage in place. Elizabeth steps in right as the guitar comes down, and Honky catches himself in time to stop the guitar from hitting her, although he comes close enough that the crowd FREAKS. Honky warns Elizabeth that she should leave. She refuses, instead pleading for mercy, but Honky’s not in the mood, so he gives her a hard shove down to the mat. Elizabeth, hurt & scared, runs away.

-Honky, meanwhile, gets re-focused on the task and drills Savage with the guitar. Honky & the Harts continue kicking the shit out of Savage until Elizabeth returns to the ring…with Hulk Hogan. Hogan runs in and gets triple-teamed himself, but Hulk is able to make his own save until Savage makes it back to his feet, and they clear the ring. Hulk & Savage tease getting into a fistfight, but Savage suddenly thinks better of it and offers Hogan a handshake. Hogan accepts, and the crowd goes insane for the formation of the Mega Powers.

-Backstage, Mr. Fuji is ecstatic about the sight of Hulk Hogan battling three men minutes before defending his title. It should be an easy night for Sika.

WORLD TITLE: HULK HOGAN vs. SIKA (with Mr. Fuji & Kimchee)
-This was supposed to be a title shot for Kamala, paying off his big win over Jake Roberts on the last SNME and blowing off his run of house shows with Hogan, but Kamala was pissed about money & took a walk, so here’s his tag team partner to take the title shot.

-Sika attacks Hogan and stomps him down. Fuji chokes Hogan with his cane for good measure. Sika stomps him and Fuji takes a free shot to the throat. Sika tries a diving headbutt, but Hogan moves and throws a series of punches, then a clothesline and sends Sika to the floor. Back inside, Sika runs right into the big boot, and Hogan drops a series of elbows. Another series of punches by Hogan sends Sika into the ropes. Hogan goes after Kimchee for interfering (which he hasn’t done yet) and Sika takes advantage, knocking Hogan to the floor. He tries to ram Hogan into the post, but Hogan reverses it. Fuji tries to take another free shot with the cane, but it turns into a tug of war over the cane and a second referee suddenly shows up to try to talk Hogan out of using it. While they talk sense into the Hulkster, we take a commercial break!

-Back to action, Sika charges but hits the turnbuckle. Hogan goes for a splash, but Sika raises his knees and Hogan is suddenly out of wind. Sika chokes him out as Bobby Heenan speculates that Hogan might run away and get help from Elizabeth.

-Sika continues choking, and then Fuji goes to work with his cane once again. Sika gets a near-fall and applies the purple nurple to try to draw a submission. Hogan recovers and gets to his feet, punching free and shoulderblocking Sika down. He hurts himself doing that, though, because Sika’s offense targeted his chest. Sika drops a series of headbutts and gets two from it, and the Hulk-up is underway. Punches, bodyslam, legdrop from a really weird angle, three-count, Hulk retains. Mr. Fuji & Kimchee take a shitkicking post-match. Kimchee gets the worst of it, which doesn’t seem fair. 1 for 2. Punches and purple nurples do not a great match make.

“Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF (with Oliver Humperdink) vs. KING KONG BUNDY
-Vince wonders why Bobby Heenan isn’t going to the ring for this match, and Heenan just says that he’d rather sit back and watch the surprise.

-Orndorff goes right on the assault with punches. Bundy dodges a dropkick and puts the boots to Orndorff. He rams Orndorff into the corner and chokes him over the rope. Orndorff tries to fight back with kicks but gets hammered down. Bundy tries a backdrop, but Orndorff manages to make it a sunset flip for two. Bundy elbows Orndorff back down. Bodyslam by Bundy, but an elbow misses and Orndorff rakes the eyes. Series of punches as Bobby Heenan suddenly begins to worry. Elbow from the second rope and Bundy is down. Fistdrop gets two and Heenan suddenly disappears from the broadcast table.

-Orndorff puts the boots to Bundy, then dropkicks him down for another two-count. All of a sudden, here comes Andre the Giant. Heenan breathlessly returns to the broadcast table to watch the action again. Orndorff dropkicks Bundy right out of the ring and Andre goes over to give him a little advice and argue with the referee to allow Bundy a little extra rest. We’ll resume the match when we come back!

-Back to action, Orndorff punches Bundy, but Bundy sends him into a turnbuckle and snapmares him. Kneedrop gets two. Orndorff blocks a backdrop with a kick and begins throwing punches again. Elbows by Orndorff, but he gets a little cocky and showboats, and that allows Bundy to dodge another elbow. Kneedrop by Bundy gets two. Headlock by Bundy. Orndorff nearly passes out, but elbows free. Bundy tries an avalanche and Orndorff is able to dodge it. He throws punches and sends Bundy into the turnbuckle. He tries another avalanche and this time Andre reaches in and holds Orndorff’s tights to keep him in place for it. Orndorff takes the avalanche, collapses, and gets pinned by Bundy. 2 for 3. Hell of a good match for Bundy, actually.

TAG TEAM TITLE: HART FOUNDATION (Champions) vs. YOUNG STALLIONS
-It’s a special night for Jim Powers & Paul Roma, as they finally have a collective name for their team, and they have entrance music: “Crank It Up” from the Piledriver album. Bobby Heenan immediately notices that it makes absolutely no sense for the Stallions to use music sung by Jimmy Hart, and it’s a tad difficult to find any reason to disagree with that. Harts have a tough match ahead of them because Jimmy is apparently still out cold and won’t be joining them at ringside.

-Roma armdrags the Anvil and the Stallions work the arms. Anvil slams his way out of the attack and tags Bret. The Stallions double-team him and a sunset flip gets two. Arm wringer by Powers. Bret sends him into the ropes, but Powers hits a bodypress for two. Knee to the gut by Bret, and then a backbreaker. Anvil comes in and hammers him down. Bret attacks from behind to make it look like THAT’S the reason the Stallions are going to lose. It amazes me how truly half-hearted the Young Stallions push was, as they couldn’t decide from week to week whether they were plucky underdogs, breakout stars, or jobbers. They didn’t get mic time that often, and here all of a sudden, they’re going for the tag team titles and they have a team name and an entrance theme attached to them with a screwdriver. I mean, push them or don’t. Being wishy-washy about it actually comes off worse than either one.

-Anyway, yeah, there’s still a match going on. Hot tag to Roma and he’s a house of fire. Stallions Irish whip the Harts into each other and dropkick the Anvil out of the ring. Powerslam by Roma gets two when Anvil breaks the cover. Hart Attack allows the champions to retain. 2 for 4. They were pressed for time here.

-Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage quell their fears about excess electricity in the air before recreating their handshake.

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT WORLD PREMIERE THEATER
-It’s the debut of the “Piledriver” music video. Honky Tonk Man drives into a construction site, where Billy Jack Haynes & Bam-Bam Bigelow stare at him angrily. Hulk Hogan grimaces with a sledgehammer until Don Muraco drops a slab of wood that blows dust in Honky’s face, and he leaves angrily.

-Meanwhile, Koko B. Ware talks about love. Sometimes love feels just right, it feels so real, and sometimes it feels like a piledriver. The construction crew (including Vince McMahon mugging like it’s going out of style) ogle some pretty girls. We hit the chorus again, and since the name of the song is “Piledriver,” of course, we see a ton of shots of Koko doing…a brainbuster. Well, yeah. Arnold Skaaland gets trapped in a port-a-john being hoisted by a forklift as we fade to black. Did I mention his best friend is a talking pie? 3 for 5. In spite of all that, it’s actually a good song.

-End of the show and onto Game Show Utopia.

The 411: The only thing you need to go out of the way for here is the Intercontinental Title match, but Orndorff/Bundy is a fun little bonus, and the stuff that didn't get points is the kind of stuff where it's not memorable, but it's not BAD. Take a look.

Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]