The Name on the Marquee: WWF Wrestling Challenge – November 1987

-Good news before we start. For those of you who say to yourselves, “I (love/hate) Adam’s reviews, but I feel like I would (love/love hating) them more if I knew what he looked and sounded like,” today, November 9, is your lucky day. Tune in to “Catch-21” on GSN at 6:30 p.m. Eastern and Pacific and watch as three contestants, one of whom is me, battle it out for a chance at $25,000.

-When we last left off, the WWF was hard at work plugging a record, a video based on the record, and a new pay-per-view. That’s just about exactly where we’re at this month…

-Originally aired November 1, 1987.

-We’re in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, and the Federettes.

NON-TITLE: BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. HONKY TONK MAN (Intercontinental Champion, with Jimmy Hart)
-Beefcake and Honky exchange dances and struts to start, while Danny Davis steps in to say that he’s keeping an eye on the referee to make sure that he doesn’t let Beefcake use the clippers. And if Beefcake does try to use them, Danny will be right there to walk around the ring for a while.

-Three atomic drops by Brutus in the ring, then one on the floor. Back inside, he sunset flips Honky for two. Beefcake misses a charge and Honky slams him. He goes off the second turnbuckle but gets caught with a gut shot. Brutus clamps on the sleeper right there and Jimmy runs in with the megaphone, but Brutus catches him before he can put it to use. Brutus puts Jimmy in the sleeper, clears Honky from the ring, and cuts some of Jimmy’s hair.

-And along comes Danny Davis to blindside Brutus and help Jimmy get out of the ring in one piece. Brutus chases all three men back to the locker room.

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-We look back at last week’s “Superstars of Wrestling,” where King Harley Race spends so much time gloating over his victory in a squash match that he holds up the show. Hacksaw Jim Duggan finally arrives for his match and Race blocks the aisle, demanding that Duggan bow down. Duggan instead whacks him across the throat with the 2×4 and steals his crown and cape. He tries them on and does a march around the ring, while Vince McMahon ponders, “What a king he would make!”

BOLSHEVIKS (with Slick) vs. S.D. JONES & LEAPING LANNY POFFO
-It’s the Bolsheviks’ “Challenge” debut and the duties are properly laid out by Mel Phillips: Nikolai Volkoff sings the anthem, and Boris Zhukov is in charge of raising the flag. That’s some damn fine flag-raising, Boris. Mel introduces Jones & Poffo as weighing in at 412 pounds combined. His delivery seems to suggest, “I know this is wrong, but, eh, fuck it, it’s on my card.”

-Boris exchanges shoulderblocks with “Special D” (which would be a GREAT name for a rapper) and when those don’t go anywhere, Lanny tags in and takes care of Boris handily. Jobbers take turns working the arm until Volkoff goes to the eyes and takes a cheap shot at Jones to take control. The Bulldogs step in to warn the Bolsheviks to look out for Matilda. So, yeah.

-Bolsheviks double-team Jones for a two-count as the “USA” chant erupts. Jones gets motivated with punches and headbutts. Poffo comes in with dropkicks for everyone. Volkoff takes the advantage back with a double underhook suplex. Headbutt/shoulderblock by Zhukov gets the win.

-And just because we didn’t get the point the first time, here’s Gene Okerlund to talk to the British Bulldogs, giving them an opportunity to cut their 15-second promo for 2 minutes.

-Hulk Hogan talks to Wisconsin governor Tommy Thompson. Hulk christens him Tough Governor Thompson and declares him Wisconsin’s #1 Hulkamaniac.

SAM HOUSTON vs. RICK RENSLOW
-Sam made his TV debut on Superstars, pinning Danny Davis in a cute piece of booking where Davis, world’s shittiest referee, lost the match because the referee didn’t see his foot on the rope during a pinfall. Houston & Davis would feud off-and-on pretty much right up until Houston left and Danny was demoted back to referee.

-Houston wrings the arm until Renslow backs him into the corner. He charges, but Houston eludes it and hiptosses him. Dropkick and an armdrag into an armbar. We get pre-recorded words from Sam, who says “Hi y’all!” Well, hi!

-Renslow comes back with clubbing blows, but gets caught in a bodypress for two. Renslow goes to the eyes and bites Houston. Houston fights back with punches, and the bulldog finishes.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Randy Savage, who assigns duties to his teammates. Duggan is in charge of 2×4 whacking, Brutus Beefcake is in charge of haircutting, Ricky Steamboat is in charge of burning people, and Jake Roberts is in charge of snake-wrapping. Way to delegate.

-Sensational Sherri is excited about the Survivor Series.

KILLER KHAN (with Mr. Fuji) vs. CHRIS CURTIS
-Khan beats the hell out of Curtis with kicks and stomping. More kicking and stomping by Khan. Another kick. Methinks somebody’s drive & motivation are vanishing. Green sputum, backbreaker, and the kneedrop from the second rope to finish.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Special indeed, as Craig DeGeorge welcomes none other than Hulk Hogan. Surprisingly, he’s looking forward to the Survivor Series.

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE. AGAIN.
-We recap the Orndorff/Heenan saga. Paul Orndorff & Rick Rude take turns taunting each other from a distance during their respective squash matches.

-Jimmy Hart introduces his newest acquisitions: The Glamour Girls, WWF Women’s Tag Team Champions.

KOKO B. WARE & KILLER BEES vs. JOHNNY V & THE NEW DREAM TEAM
-Koko is wearing a bee mask. Monsoon & Heenan say they can’t tell which one is Koko, I guess because all bees look alike to them.

-Bravo starts with Blair. He gets an early shot to the gut and stays on him. Blair comes back with a hiptoss and slams. Valentine steps in and gets the same treatment, and the heels go outside for a powwow. Back in, Valentine tags in and gets caught in some arm-wringing by the forces of good. Valentine chops Ware down and Bravo comes back in to go to work. Koko tries a monkeyflip and gets caught in an inverted atomic drop. Valentine steps back in and suplexes Ware. Elbow misses, but Valentine makes a quick tag back to Dino. Dino and Johnny V beat up on him, but Johnny accidentally takes a shot from Greg and that gives Ware an opening for a hot tag. Bees beat on V hard enough to knock off his doorag and reveal the bald head underneath. Koko makes the tag and hits a missile dropkick for the three-count. Dream Team clears the ring in an act of vengeance, which is exactly the right booking for a team that you’re about to break up.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Brutus Beefcake. He’s looking forward to some damn thing or another happening on Thanksgiving night. Not sure what. Strike Force comes in and murders their promo, with Tito promising that more people will see the Survivor Series than have watched “any Super Bowl in the history of sports.”

-Next!

-Originally aired November 8, 1987.

-We’re in Rochester, NY, home of the Rochester Americans!

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.

BAM-BAM BIGELOW (with Oliver Humperdink) vs. TERRY GIBBS
-Entrance music for the Bammer now. Bobby Heenan downplays the impact that Bam-Bam has, predicting that at his size, he’s eventually going to blow out his knees doing aerial moves. Bobby Heenan: Prophet.

-Meanwhile, Bam-Bam dropkicks Gibbs and slingshots him back into the ring. Hiptoss by Bigelow. He goes for an enziguiri, but misses. He comes right back with a bodyslam, and the slingshot splash finishes.

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-After a squash match on WWF Superstars of Wrestling, Demolition continues to wail on jobber Brady Boone, hitting a second decapitator and a third. This draws the ire of Brady’s cousin, Billy Jack Haynes. Haynes falls victim to the decapitator himself, until Ken Patera makes the save…and then Demolition beats the shit out of him. Ken Patera (wearing a Ken Patera t-shirt…does RD Reynolds know about that?) & Billy Jack Haynes challenge Demolition to a match, threatening them by noting that “blood is thicker than water,” which would be great if Ken was the guy that Billy Jack was supposedly related to. Demolition retorts by saying that Ken & Billy got their asses kicked when they snuck up on them, so what do they plan on accomplishing in a face-to-face match? So right off the bat, Demolition has won this feud.

ULTIMATE WARRIOR vs. BARRY HOROWITZ
-Warrior shoulderblocks Horowitz out of the ring, then slingshots him back in. Warrior throws some hard chops. Horowitz tries to come back, but everything gets no sold. Warrior offers some pre-taped words of Warrior Wisdom. He tells us that he’s not an earthquake and he’s not a truck. So there you go, the Ultimate Warrior is actually a series of tubes.

-Back to the ring, the press slam gets the win.

-Gene Okerlund brings in Randy Savage. Elizabeth is having nightmares, and that’s causing the Macho Man to lose sleep. You’re in trouble, Honky. Something interesting I’ve noticed since Savage’s face turn…they’re either changing the lighting just for his promos or they’ve given him some different sunglasses, because his eyes are visible through the shades now.

-We go to comments from Ted DiBiase, who just won a match over George Steele by forfeit because George couldn’t find the arena. What the hell is the point of telling us that?

BRITISH BULLDOGS vs. THE NEW DREAM TEAM (with Johnny V)
-Matilda goes after Dino before the bell. Dino starts with Davey Boy and shoulderblocks him down. Hiptoss by Smith, followed by an armdrag and both teams tag. Dynamite shoulderblocks the Hammer, then picks him right up for a snap suplex and an elbow. Smith comes back in and hits a few forearms, but gets caught in the wrong corner and Dino puts the boots to him.

-Dynamite comes in to try to make the save, but falls victim to a series of elbows for two. Hammer goes to work on the abdomen, but misses a forearm. He blocks the attempted hot tag and goes for the figure four. Dynamite kicks him away, then dodges an elbow. Double tags again and Smith goes to work on Dino with a backdrop. Running powerslam by Davey Boy, but Johnny V gets desperate and attacks to draw the DQ. Bulldogs clean house post-match, in particular laying a vicious beating on Johnny V, which I suspect is intended to be his burial (although he made it to Survivor Series). They put Matilda on top to “pin” him, which is a cute visual.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Team Hogan about the Survivor Series. Hulk is now officially going into that weird phase where he wore a doorag AND a shredded t-shirt covering his face, which he probably thought looked cool, but really it just makes him look like he has tampons dangling from his forehead. We acknowledge Hulk’s history with his team, as he basically tells Orndorff that he doesn’t trust him, but he knows how Paul feels about Bobby Heenan, so that’s why he wants him on the team.

-We take yet another look at the post-match shenanigans from Saturday Night’s Main Event, and if you want full-color photos, check out this month’s WWF Magazine.

ISLANDERS (with Bobby Heenan) vs. SD JONES & JERRY ALLEN
-Jobbers get the early advantage on Tama as the Young Stallions drop in, promising to survive at the Survivor Series.

-Islanders double-team Jones and Haku goes low. Tama comes off the top with a chop between the eyes. Haku lays in some kicks, but misses an elbow and Allen tags in. He misses a second-rope bodypress and gets slammed down. Shoulderbreaker by Haku, and a top rope splash by Tama finishes.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Craig DeGeorge talks to Honky Tonk Man. They bring out the new WWF stretching dolls of Ricky Steamboat & Randy Savage and use them as visual aids to show what will happen at the Survivor Series. Synergy!

“JIVE SOUL BRO”
-It’s a music video starring Slick, so you already know it’s awesome. Slick walks through a rough looking neighborhood to hit on assorted ladies, all of whom blow him off due to the utter jiveness of his particular soul.

-Later that night, Slick goes on a date with a seven-foot tall woman who refuses to have sex with him, and when he tries to use a little force, she puts him in a figure four and tells him he’s a jive soul bro. And then the lips. We get a couple of close-ups of his lips. A guy who is just the spitting image of Mister Buffalo Butt from “Good Times” shows up with a boombox and Slick borrows it to get down for a few minutes. Suddenly, all the townspeople chase him out of the neighborhood, and he walks angrily past a Kentucky Fried Chicken to close out our little tale. I have nothing to add to that.

“The Natural” BUTCH REED (with Slick) vs. OMAR ATLAS
-Reed punches Atlas down and puts the boots to him. Atlas starts to unleash his Latin temper, but walks into a high knee. Press slam, and the flying clothesline finishes.

TAG TEAM TITLE: HART FOUNDATION (Champions, with Jimmy Hart) vs. STRIKE FORCE
-And after burying him anonymously, giving the new team their own music video and a rocket ship push, the WWF is about to formally complete their lengthy, elaborate “fuck you” to Tom Zenk.

-Harts get the early advantage, but Martel starts throwing a series of dropkicks at Bret and ties him up in an armbar. Tito tags in and elbows him down, and then clamps on his own armbar. Anvil tags in and a slugfest erupts. Bret offers a cheapshot from the apron to turn the tide. Harts switch off without tags to strangle Tito and knock him out of the ring. Martel gets frustrated and chases Jimmy around the ring, but that just gives Anvil an opening to try to finish the match. Martel breaks the pin at two, and the Harts get their vengeance by continuing to hammer Tito. Decapitator gets two because they don’t do it as good as Demolition.

-Elbow by Bret misses, but Tito can’t make the tag and just continues absorbing more punishment. He reverses an Irish whip, and since it’s Bret, that pretty much kills him and Martel is finally able to tag in. He takes care of both Harts with no trouble and hits a bodypress from the corner for two. Donnybrook erupts, but Tito helps knock Bret out of the ring, and Martel capitalizes by locking in the Boston crab on Jim Neidhart…and the Anvil submits, shocking and elating the crowd as the belts change hands.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Mr. Fuji, who vows that Demolition will survive the Survivor Series.

-Next week a’comin’…

-Originally aired November 15, 1987.

-We’re in Rochester, NY, loyal servant to Jack Benny, NY.

-Rochester War Memorial General Manager Jeff Calkins welcomes the WWF.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.

JAKE “The Snake” ROBERTS vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF (with Slick & Boris Zhukov)
-Jake attacks Boris first, which is pretty stupid and just allows Volkoff to take advantage immediately with a sneak attack and a lot of shots to the abdomen. Snake mounts a comeback with a lot of punches and a kneelift. He hits the arm wringer as we go to pre-recorded words from Jake, saying that Nikolai may have a partner in Boris, but he brings his partner to the ring in a bag. And a third partner in a paper bag, presumably.

-Meanwhile, Nikolai distracts the referee as Boris gets a few free shots in. Slick Nik chokes away and stomps Jake for good measure. Jake tries to mount a comeback but gets hammered down. Jake tries to go off the ropes for another comeback, but Boris hooks his leg from the apron to give Nikolai an opening for a two-count. Nikolai charges at Jake, but Jake ducks and the Bolsheviks collide on the apron. Jake rolls up Nikolai and gets the three-count. Bolsheviks beat the hell out of Jake post-match, but Damien gives the evil Russians a fright and they run away.

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-A look at Strike Force’s title win. Nobody is surprised that a top tag team won the belt, but many observers are surprised that the title changed hands on a submission. We go to the locker room, where Jack Tunney and the forces of good are there to congratulate Strike Force on their win.

RAVISHING RICK RUDE (with Bobby Heenan) vs. BRADY BOONE
-Rude does his robe routine but forgets to ask the fat people for silence. Well, practice makes perfect. He’ll get that entrance down pat eventually.

-Boone gets elbowed down and Rude snap suplexes him. He drops Boone throat-first on the top rope, and body vice finishes. Post-match, Rude, suddenly realizing that he forgot something, grabs the mike and asks the fat people to keep the noise down.

-Gene Okerlund talks to the Young Stallions. Paul Roma promises that they’ll survive the Survivor Series. Wow, what a totally original promo, Paul. Are you going to make sure your match is a nightmare for the Dream Team while you’re at it?

KEN PATERA & BILLY JACK HAYNES vs. GINO CARABELLO & DAVE WAGNER
-Haynes pounds Wagner and catches him with a kneelift. Suplex from Haynes as we go to Demolition, who promise that Billy Jack Haynes & Ken Patera will be eliminated at the Survivor Series, which would be a great thing to threaten them with, except Patera’s not in their match and Billy Jack’s not on the card.

Back to the ring, Haynes chops Gino down again and again. Backbreaker, and then he tags in Ken Patera. Patera hits an Irish whip and atomic drop. He hits Gino a few times with his giant arm brace, which Gorilla dubs “the weasel whacker.” Is that what the kids are calling it now?

-Haynes decides it’s time to call it a night and locks in the full nelson to finish things.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Team Andre about the Survivor Series. Andre the Giant is incredibly sweaty for some reason. All five of them plan on roasting five turkeys on Thanksgiving night.

-We go to WWF Superstars of Wrestling, where Hacksaw Jim Duggan is doing an interview while wearing Harley Race’s crown and cape. Something I never noticed: The platform used for these segments is just three folding tables put together with a staircase on one end. Anywhoo, Bobby Heenan calls Duggan a thief, which distracts him long enough for Harley to sneak up and beat the piss out of him with his own 2×4.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. DUSTY WOLF
-WWEClassics.com edits out Duggan’s entrance theme that he only used three or four times around this period. King Harley Race calls Duggan a simple peasant and rejoices in the recovery of his crown and cape.

-Anyway, there’s a match going on, and it’s Duggan’s usual offense of kneedrops, the big bodyslam, and the three-point stance for the win.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-We have the heel side of the ten-team tag match at the Survivor Series. Bobby Heenan tries to speak for the team while totally drawing a blank on the names of their opponents, which is why the team names two years later were such a great idea. Mr. Fuji promises that they will survive the Survivor Series. Thanks, Fuji.

-Slick shows off the new WWF Magazine, featuring an article about him, “Right in the miiiiiiddle!”

“STAND BACK”
-Courtesy of Piledriver, it’s Vince McMahon singing. Funnily enough though, he’s nowhere to be seen. The video is an Andre the Giant highlight reel, emphasizing his heel turn and cleverly showcasing clips from his babyface years where he behaves in rather heelish fashion. And you know something? Even though the song exists only to be an ego trip for the boss, it’s actually a catchy tune.

-Ted DiBiase buys a segment to show off a music video that he had made for himself. It’s “If You Only Knew” from Piledriver, underscoring clips from all of the evil deeds seen in his introductory vignettes earlier in the year.

RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE vs. “The Crippler” RIP OLIVER
-Gorilla Monsoon notes that Elizabeth hasn’t worn a strapless gown since getting shoved down by Honky Tonk Man, so he must have left a hell of a bruise…and that would be interesting if Elizabeth didn’t show up for a promo in a strapless gown the week after that happened.

-Oliver gets the early advantage with punches and a shot to the turnbuckle. Savage comes back with a few turnbuckle shots of his own. Here’s Ricky Steamboat, vowing to roast a couple of turkeys for “The One Long Day of Survival.”

-Back to the ring, where Oliver comes back with clubbing blows, but Savage hits a hard forearm off the ropes and then knocks him out of the ring with a kneelift. Double axehandle from the top onto the floor, suplexes him back inside, and the flying elbow finishes.

-Gene Okerlund talks to the New Dream Team. Why are they giving this team so much attention when they’re getting ready to split up quietly?

-Next show!

-Originally aired November 22, 1987.

-We’re in Rochester, NY, home of Kodak!

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.

STRIKE FORCE vs. BARRY HOROWITZ & TERRY GIBBS
-Martel takes Gibbs down right away and Gibbs backs off. Martel clamps on a side headlock as a pretty shocking chant of “We want Harts!” goes up. The Foundation drops in and promises that Strike Force will strike out at Survivor Series.

-Gibbs gets kicked around by Tito & Rick for a moment. Gibbs wins a test of strength, but Martel bridges out. Horowitz attempts to help with a double-team, but Martel noggin-knocks them. Gibbs goes to the eyes and tags, but Horowitz just walks into hiptoss after hiptoss.

-Tito comes in and clamps on a side headlock. Martel tags in but gets trapped in the wrong corner and the jobbers go to work. Gibbs misses a charge and Tito makes the tag and cleans house. Horowitz gets dropkicked out of the ring, and Martel hits a spinebuster, then hangs onto it and turns it into a Boston crab for the submission. That’s a pretty cool move, honestly. Why didn’t we see that more often?

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-And now, a sad ending to a story that should have ended sooner. Superstar Billy Graham faced Butch Reed on “Superstars of Wrestling” last week and Reed pounded the shit out of Graham’s bad hip. For good measure, in comes One Man Gang to lay a series of splashes on Graham. The injuries are so severe that Graham’s wrestling career appears to be over. This brings about a change in Survivor Series, as Don Muraco cuts a Warrior-like promo about a prophet speaking to him and compelling him to go to Hulk Hogan and volunteer for the Survivor Series, taking Graham’s place.

ONE MAN GANG (with Slick) vs. CARMINE SURACE
-Gang pounds Surace down, then brings him into the corner and pounds him down again. Irish whip and now Gang pounds him down in the opposite corner. Don Muraco’s not done talking and drops in to threaten the Gang in anticipation of the Survivor Series.

-Gourdbuster finishes off Surace in the meantime.

-Craig DeGeorge, talks to Strike Force about the Survivor Series. Winning the belts has put more pressure on them knowing that they’re being targeted by every team at the Survivor Series.

-Randy Savage is happy that he’s on the cover of WWF Magazine, but he’s hoping that the Honky Tonk Man’s bruised and busted face makes the cover of the next issue.

DEMOLITION (with Mr. Fuji) vs. PETE LUSIK & OMAR ATLAS
-Smash smashes Atlas down, then just punches Lusik on the apron for the hell of it. Ax comes in and puts the hurt on Atlas. Brady Boone comes in to offer his best wishes to Cousin Billy Jack Haynes as he prepares to kick Demolition’s butts.

-Lusik tags in and Smash smashes him down, then rams him into Ax’s boot. Ax axes him, then slams him down. Fuji demands, “One more time!” so Ax obliges. Hard clothesline by Smash, and the Decapitator finishes.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Team Hogan, now fortified with 20% more Muraco. Hulk and his forehead tampons are ready to take on Andre in Richfield, OH!

BAM-BAM BIGELOW (with Oliver Humperdink) vs. JOSE ESTRADA
-Estrada does some artful dodging and throws a dropkick as Bam-Bam offers some pre-recorded words about the Survivor Series.

-Meanwhile, Bigelow knocks Estrada out of the ring and suplexes him right back in. Forearm and the highest beel throw ever sends Estrada across the ring as Gorilla shockingly speculates that Bam-Bam’s announced weight of 398 may not be accurate.

-Bam-Bam clotheslines Estrada down and headbutts him. Press powerslam (and he headbutts Estrada on the impact for good measure) and a bodyslam. Slingshot splash puts Jose out of his misery. If I got my ass kicked like that, I’d wear a gold mask, too.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Craig talks to Andre the Giant, Bobby Heenan, and Slick. They destroy a Hulk Hogan stretch doll to make their point.

BOLSHEVIKS (with Slick) vs. LEAPING LANNY POFFO & VAN VAN HORNE
-Poffo mocks Zhukov’s massive head and pays for it immediately with chops and forearms. Poffo manages to kick him down, punch him over and over, and dropkick Nikolai just for shiggles. Zhukov attacks from behind, so Lanny retreats to his corner and in comes VVH. Volkoff hits a screaming double-underhook suplex, then sends him into the ropes and boots him down. Zhukov tosses him to the floor and Volkoff continues laying into him out there. Back inside, Zhukov clotheslines VVH down. Double-elbows, and Volkoff gutwrench suplexes him. Press backbreaker by Volkoff, and Zhukov headbutts VVH’s chest and pins him immediately to take the match.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS (with Jimmy Hart)
-Beefcake backs Davis into the corner and Davis immediately goes to the eyes and throws punches. Beefcake punches back and slams him down. Davis begs for mercy while Sam Houston challenges Davis to another match.

-Meanwhile, Beefcake makes a wish in the corner, but Davis mounts a comeback with kicks and punches. Beefcake reverses an Irish whip and hammers Davis with more punches. High hiptoss by Brutus. He continues punishing Davis and tosses him to the floor. He slingshots him back in and clamps on the sleeper. Jimmy tries coming off the top rope with the megaphone, but Brutus catches him and press slams him onto Davis, then simply pins Davis to win. Post-match, Brutus knocks Danny out of the ring and puts Jimmy to sleep. Davis manages to rescue his manager right as Brutus is about to take the scissors to him.

-The Islanders are ready to survive the Survivor Series. Thank god we have another year before we have to listen to that same promo being done another million times.

-Let’s finish this month off now…

-Originally aired November 29, 1987.

-We’re in Omaha, where Oprah Winfrey is scheduled to appear for Expo ’87.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.

BRITISH BULLDOGS vs. CONQUISTADORS
-Debut of the hometown heroes of Somewhere in Latin America. They immediately job to Matilda to start their reign of anti-terror. Gorilla wants to know who the Conquistadors are. True Bobby Heenan fans will immediately guess how he answers that question.

-Davey Boy starts with, uh, #1. Davey Boy drops him with a shoulderblock and press slams him onto #2. Dynamite comes in and armdrags #1 a few times. Hard shoulderblock as Dynamite is really looking like his old self this week, which is nice. Snap suplex and #1 goes to the floor to recover.

-Back in, Davey Boy can’t get the hiptoss he wanted, so he settles for a flying headscissors. #1 gets a drop toehold and #2 capitalizes with a series of striking blows. Bulldogs come back with double shoulderblocks. Headbutt by Dynamite as Gorilla asks Bobby if he’s getting excited about the upcoming Slammy Awards. Oh my.

-Conquistadors get a little more offense in, but can’t do better than a two-count. Double backdrop on Dynamite gets a two-count. They keep pounding on him until Dynamite fights back with a back suplex. Hot tag to Davey Boy and a big clothesline on the gold guy. Delayed suplex and the running powerslam finish, even though the Conquistador kicks out at two and Heenan argues about the unfair call. Gotta protect the Conquistadors.

SPECIAL REPORT WITH CRAIG DEGEORGE
-Craiggers is wearing a tux to announce “The holidays are coming up, and that can only mean one thing…the Slammy Awards.” And if you’re an atheist, I guess that’s the one thing it would have meant in 1987, so you can’t argue with him. In addition to the awards, there will be live performances of “Piledriver, Honky Tonk Man, and several other favorites.”

“Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE (with Virgil) vs. SONNY ROGERS
-Rogers gets a fluke roll-up right away for two. That pisses off DiBiase and he tears into Rogers with punches and chops. Backdrop and a second rope elbow by DiBiase as we get pre-recorded assurance that yes, everybody does indeed have a price…even the man at the top rung. What’s THAT supposed to mean, I wonder?

-Back to the ring, hell totally freezes over as Ted goes to the second rope and drops the reverse elbow that he never ever hits…and not only does it connect, he actually gets the three-count with it.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Outlaw Ron Bass. You realize this guy was on a pay-per-view last week, back when they only had two of them a year, and he didn’t get mike time or a squash?

-We recap the Jim Duggan-Harley Race saga.

HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. BARRY HOROWITZ
-Horowitz dodges a few clotheslines early on, but gets caught coming off the ropes for a bodyslam and a kneedrop. Horowitz goes to the eyes, but Duggan just punches him down. We get pre-taped threats toward the King, and Jim warns Heenan to stay out of his business. Heenan doesn’t fear the humanoid.

-But Barry Horowitz should, because he hits a standard issue clothesline, and the three-point stance finishes.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Dino Bravo, who vows that 1988 will be his year, and he throws out challenges to Don Muraco & Ricky Steamboat to get the ball rolling.

KILLER KHAN (with Mr. Fuji) vs. MIKE RICHARDS
-For you new readers out there, Killer Khan’s gimmick is that he’s a Mongolian sumo legend who spews green mist, while Mike Richards’ gimmick is that he’s a feckless reality show host who got promoted beyond his qualifications to become executive producer for game shows about which he has little to no understanding. This particular jobber is also rapidly developing the strangest physique ever, as he appears to be concentrating his entire weight training regimen on his pectoral region, so he looks exactly like Ren after being visited by Charles Globe.

-Khan chops Mikey down and connects with chops to the throats. He grinds Richards’ eyes and rams him into the turnbuckles. He throws kicks and chops to the mighty pecs of Mike Richards. Thrust kick, a faceful of green sputum (which seems to get a face pop), backbreaker, kneedrop from the second rope, and that’s it.

SPECIAL INTERVIEW
-Craig DeGeorge brings out Slick & Butch Reed. Funnily enough, after noticing last week that the interview platform is just a bunch of folding tables, this week, they’ve added carpeting to hide it. Butch brags about destroying the career of Superstar Billy Graham. He disses Don Muraco with the most insane insult ever, calling him “a sandwich.”

“HONKY TONK MAN”
-Music video time! Honky drives his pink Cadillac through town, with Peggy Sue (just an actress, not Sherri) and Jimmy Hart tagging along. We see Honky at, appropriately, a honkytonk, performing a concert for dozens of screaming, swooning, fainting women. Cute touch, as Honky has a sign reading “Elvis WHO?” behind him as he performs. And as we close on the HONKYWOOD sign, we get a disclaimer explaining that all of the audience members were paid off by Honky. Oh my golly, paid extras were used in a music video? My illusions are shattered.

ULTIMATE WARRIOR vs. BRIAN COSTELLO
-Now with entrance music, and the crowd is already starting to go nuts for him. Warrior chokes Costello out and elbows him down. We get a seamless edit to Warrior kicking his ass on the opposite side of the ring as Gorilla speculates that Warrior goes to bed early as part of the training regimen.

-Suplex by Warrior, then a hard clothesline. Warrior presses Costello “like a bag of garbage” (who the hell does that with their garbage, Gorilla?) for the three-count.

KEN PATERA & BILLY JACK HAYNES vs. DAVE WAGNER & RICK RENSLOW
-Fan in the crowd has whipped up a really impressive sign for the forces of good. Elbow and a slam by Patera, then Haynes comes in to offer a kneelift. Demolition says that Patera & Haynes are a headache to them, but they have the medicine ready. Dr. Zahorian even wrote them a prescription.

-Patera & Haynes hit a move very similar to the Decapitator, and Billy Jack finishes with a full nelson.

-Gene Okerlund talks to Don Muraco, who taunts Butch by calling him “Bruce Reed, the name your mama gave you!” Muraco is in MUCH better shape than he’s been since I’ve started writing these recaps and just seems so happy and motivated in this role. It shocks me that he says that he didn’t enjoy being a face, because he’s great at it.

End of the month. Survivor Series coming soon, promise. And here’s Game Show Utopia.

The 411: Good month as matches go. November is sweeps month, so we got treated to a little more competitive action than usual, and it's fun watching the build to the first Survivor Series and seeing what they got right and what they got wrong in the build-up. (I.E. Reducing team size just a smidge and adding collective names in later years to make it easier to hype.)
Final Score:  6.5   [ Average ]