British Optimism: Legends of the Arena

So counting the 2001 reunion show, One Night Stand 2005, One Night Stand 2006, ECW on Sci-Fi the multiple Hardcore Homecoming tours and TNA Hardcore Justice, I’d say ECW has been resurrected at least seven times which is surely creeping up to Dracula’s record. Let’s see how Vol. 6 compares to the rest.

Filmed at Viking Hall/ECW Arena/New Alhambra Arena/ The Arena in widescreen, with uncensored ECW chants and wilful usage of copyrighted music. No commentary, but if it’s a choice between Joey Styles or e.g. Eric Gargiulo, I’ll take nothing.

Disc 1

Bob Artese starts the show by throwing hats into the crowd so Joel Gertner can cut one of his trademark promos. No neck brace sadly, but Gertner always delivers.

C.W. Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio
Both men get LOUD reactions. Hell, even the opening bell gets applause. This is not a stereotypical Philly crowd, thank fuck. Scorpio bows to the crowd. Scorpio offers a handshake to begin with, but Anderson declines. HE’S AN ANDERSON, FOR GOD’S SAKE (well, not really). Feeling out process to begin. Anderson has the same ring gear from 2001, but less hair. Scorpio isn’t in the same ripped shape he was at Hardcore Homecoming but he’s still looking good. After an indy stand-off, Scorpio tries to get a handshake again. Anderson responds with a right hand and they exchange BOO/YAY reactions with the crowd. The Arena is chanting and eating up EVERYTHING they’re being given. Anderson takes a breather outside so Scorpio uses the ropes to kick him, skins the cat then dives out the ring. Flying body-press gets two. C.W. loudly superkicks Scorpio to regain control. Anderson pounds on Scorpio (with forearms you can’t take seriously after watching Steve Corino’s Secrets of the Ring DVD). Scorpio eventually relents by using the ropes to hurl Anderson outside. Back in, Scorpio hits a swanton leg-drop off the top…for three. Sadly it’s clear from the wrestler’s reactions that that WASN’T the finish. Scorpio thinks “fuck it” and hits a moonsault-to-leg-drop anyway. Anderson and Scorpio shake hands afterwards.

Winner: 2 Cold Scorpio
Good wrestling to warm a crowd up. Even the dodgy finish couldn’t lower the mood. **

Bilvis Wesley vs. The Muskateer
Stephen DeAngelis and H.C. Loc get a bigger reaction than either wrestler. And no wonder, Wesley only appeared at the very end of ECW as a jobber and The Muskateer’s run was even briefer, being part of Simon Diamond’s exceedingly brief ‘Freak Entourage’ phase. So not great reactions for two men who had less combined TV time than Dick Hertz. ‘Wild’ Bill apparently came out of retirement for this match and The Muskateer has moobs. Basic wrestling ends with Muskateer clotheslining Wesley over the guard-rail and onto a crowd member. Wesley gets crotched on the top rope and superplexed as “Muskateer” chants break out. Not even THIS match can kill their enthusiasm. ‘Natural Born Killers’ starts playing and the crowd shits themselves, expecting New Jack. Instead, Wesley schoolboys Mustakeer for the pin. Wesley calls the crowd “fucking marks”, revealing it was a ruse! AND THE CROWD EVEN APPLAUDS THAT.

Winner: Bilvis Wesley
Probably the best Wesley/Muskateer match ever. 1/2*

Devon Storm comes out to Rhino’s theme. You can pick any theme you want and you pick a song somebody else is using tonight? Huh. Storm insults ECW and praises his run as WCW Hardcore Champion (saying that this is the final nail in the coffin for ECW, time to move onto something else now. Yeah, right) He claims he personally reached out to Taz (“the human buffet machine”) but didn’t hear anything back. Either Taz was scared of Storm or he didn’t care about the cause of the show, so instead he gets Chris Hamrick. This got hyped by some sites as being LEGIT SHOOT FTW, but it’s very obviously an angle, so I assume it was a slow news day on wrestlezone.net or something.

‘Crowbar’ Devon Storm vs. Chris Hamrick
Hamrick looks disgusted at Storm’s comments. No, Hamrick don’t lower yourself! Crowbar calls Hamrick a job-boy whose main claim to fame was making ring gear out a garbage bag. That line would have been better if half the crowd didn’t agree. Hamrick pimp-slaps and chops Crowbar around the ring. I’ve always liked Hamrick the super-worker, he never seems to half-arse any match. Superplex attempt is reversed to a step-up knee. Hamrick busts out the ‘jump over the opponent’s clothesline and hit a tope’ spot he used to do as Crimson Dragon. Crowbar fireman carries Hamrick onto a table at ringside, which no-sells. Crowbar props up a guard-rail outside. Crowbar rests on the middle rope, allowing Hamrick to hit the HAMRICK BUMP to the concrete. I cringe every time I see that fucking move. Crowbar suplexes the poor sod onto the guard-rail, which gives nothing. Crowbar tries to springboard, but his hands slip on the ropes and he falls flat on his arse. He dives out to Hamrick and then repeats the spot, crushing Hamrick on the guard-rail. Crowbar poses like Taz to boos . Step-up enziguri and both men are down. Back up, Hamrick hits front suplex-to-knee and brings out a chair, but gets it taken from him in an over-convoluted moment. Crowbar then hits a chair-assisted Northern Lights suplex for two. Hamrick recovers and Dixie Drops for two. Crowbar halts the Confederate Crunch and superplexes Hamrick for two. However Hamrick delivers a superkick and Confederate Crunches Crowbar…for two. That’s his finisher, dammit. Hamrick has enough and locks in the Tazmission…and gets the win via tap-out!

Winner: Chris Hamrick
Both men busted their arses and took brutal bumps for a charity show, even if was disjointed and spotty **3/4

Rhino vs. Scotty Anton Riggs vs. Jamie Dundee
Rhino comes out to Crowbar’s theme. Nobody pops for Scotty Anton, who looks like Mickey Rourke. He gets the crowd to do the ‘clap’, which was the only thing of note from his ECW mini-feud with Rob Van Dam. Dundee gets barely any reaction. Oh come on. Dundee gets on the case of everybody in the crowd. “I’m not a racist, I got a black president now. I didn’t vote for him.” Anton tries to talk on the mic, but God only knows what he’s saying. Dundee gets on Rhino’s case for being from TNA. Anton and Rhino wrestle and Dundee watches. Anton poses, so Dundee tries for the pin. That sums up a few minutes. The crowd chants “Intermission” and “Fuck the Steelers’. Anton surfboards Rhino, making him do the ‘clap’ taunt at the same time, which was the only highlight the last time Anton was in ECW. Rhino gores Dundee for the pin.

Winner: Rhino
The” Intermission” chant said it all. The pre-match talking was fun though. ½*

Induction Ceremony
Pitbull No.2 and The Sandman (w/ crate of beer) enter, presumably to give this ceremony some dignity. Inducted are Chris Candido, Sabu, Tod Gordon and Eddie ‘Hot Stuff’ Gilbert. ‘Back in Black’ is played briefly, so Sandman does the Candido Strut. Sabu and Gordon enter, Gordon accompanied with the whole Gordon family. Moles are known to have lots of kids. Gordon thanks everybody until the Sandman takes the mic and everything descends from there. He encourages the crowd to chant “Raven is a bitch” until he appears, tells Sandman to go fuck himself , then leaves. Bill Alfonso is dragged out, who bitches about not being in the Hall of Fame. “Screw Gordon and his snotty-nosed kids too”. Sandman gives Sabu a beer and we all leave. A harmless mess.

Da Baldies vs. Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney
Criminally, the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks come out to ‘The Beautiful People’ rather than ‘Big Balls.’ “Fuck New York” chants to start. DeVito (former ROH Tag Team Champion) whips Balls into the guard-rail as Axl is caned by Angel. Angel is the same width as Axl now. Angel Delight? Rotten administers the cheese grater. Loc interferes, reuniting the Carnage Crew! Bleeding and stomping occur until Balls takes over and the “BALLS!” chants begin. DeVito and Angel are disposed of, leaving Loc to take the chair shots of doom for the win. ‘Big Balls’ plays afterwards, thankfully.

Winners: Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney * 1/2
What you would expect from these guys. Garbage brawl with side order of chants.

Angel is shown still chewing gum after the match. He chewed gum the whole match???

Disc 2

F.B.I. (Little Guido and Big Sal) vs bWo (Da Blue Guy and ‘Hollywood’ Nova)
All four guys look happy just to be here. Big Sal didn’t wrestle a hell of a lot for the original ECW, so it’s weird seeing him actually tagging with Guido. Nova and Guido start, with nothing of note occurring until Meanie grabs Guido’s arse. Big Sal comes in, prompting Meanie to tag in and THE DANCE-OFF CHALLENGE is thrown down, just like every other F.B.I./bWo match ever. Sal dances, Meanie dances, Sal dances, Meanie dances and Sal blindsides him. It’s like Warrior/Rude but with body fat. Meanie regains the advantage and misses a Five Knuckle Shuffle. Nova Hulks Up and administers the big boot and leg-drop, but eventually they hit their own moves (Kryptonite Krunch and a big splash) for the win.

Winners: blue World order
Appropriate for the party atmosphere of the show but they’ve had the exact same match at least 90001 times. 1/4*

Afterwards Nova turns serious and thanks the fans. I think he declared this the last time he was doing this so all the guys in the ring (including ref) dance to DJ Kool.

Francine comes out and explains the reasons for tonight’s show. She announces the winner of the raffle, with the winner announcing the next match. Nice touch. There have been reports recently regarding the legitimacy of the charity Francine represents/supports/whatever. I can’t comment on it but I’ll say that if it is a sham, she did a damn good impression of someone who cared about raising money for the disease that killed her father and sister.

Al Snow (w/Head) vs. Shane Douglas
Sadly Douglas can’t be here. Snow blames Head until the lights go off and Jerry fucking Lynn appears.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lynn
Lynn should replace every Shane Douglas in every match. They hug to start and Lynn is naturally over with the crowd. They wrestle on the mat to start off; with Lynn demonstrating he just doesn’t care how old is he. Snow teases using Head, but the ref says otherwise. Snow’s wrestling the same as he did in ECW in 97/98, with much more emphasis on holds and grapples. He ends up outside and Lynn holds the ropes open for him. Crowd is taking some time getting into this, demanding “tables”“Avatar” and “Gillberg”. They applaud after the Guerrero/Malenko pin sequence so Snow stops being nice and slaps Lynn. Lynn carries on being nice and naïve.. Armdrags and fireman carries are exchanged and Snow plows into Lynn. When Lynn enters the ring, Snow holds the ropes open for him only to attack mid-way. Shoulderbreaker and elbow drops as some fans chant “boring”. Armlock by Snow until Lynn powers out and responds with an enziguri. “New Rockers” chants and Snow plants Lynn with a shoulderblock and…another shoulderbreaker. Crowd is having a hard time getting behind this, as they love Lynn and Head equally. Another armlock kills some time until Lynn counters and pounds Snow. Back body drop and Lynn hits a flying crossbody through Snow. Tornado DDT counters takes out the ref and Lynn is Snow-Plow’d. Second ref runs in to make the count, but gets only a two. Lynn TKO’s Snow for another two, and second ref is accidentally bumped via flying forearm by Lynn. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver, but yeah, no ref. Lynn wakes first ref up but only “TWOOOOOO”. Snow goes to the crowd for a chair and teases hitting Lynn…but instead tosses it at Lynn and lies down as the ref is looking the other way. Lynn then hilariously does the same, leaving Pee Wee confudled as to exactly what the fuck happened. As he asks the crowd what happened, Snow crawls over and punches Lynn in the dick. As Lynn stands up in agony, Pee Wee figures it was him and admonishes Lynn for using the chair…allowing Snow to give Lynn Head for the win!

Winner: Al Snow
Felt out of place with actual wrestling, but the finish was fun. The simple story of Snow getting frustrated because he couldn’t out-wrestle Lynn, so he had to out-think him was nice, as was Lynn playing the Sting ‘Nice but dim’ character. And yes, Snow did the same chair spot at Hardcore Justice. ***

Raven (w/Chastity) and Justin Credible (w/Jason) vs. Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso) and Sandman (w/shit-load of beer)
Sandman gets the full Metallica entrance. Smart Mark Video just doesn’t give a fuck.
Terry Funk is the special ref and declares “everything goes”. Raven is tired and just wants to be at home “watching The Golden Girls”, so he insults everyone and wonders why Jason isn’t in the Hall of Fame yet. He dares to talk the whole night. “You people think you’re getting like a thirty minute main event? If I don’t beat one of them in five minutes, I’m laying down and you won’t be able to get any of them off of me”. Sandman and Credible start off with duelling canes. Cruel chants of “Where’s our bread sticks?” for Credible as they swing off. Sabu runs in to shank Credible with his spike and Raven allegedly helps his partner with a weak kick. Double clothesline attempt is even funnier, but for the wrong reasons. Credible does the HBK corner flip and ring post crotch spots, so that’s two thirds of his move set already. Raven enters and seizes control with deliberately basic wrestling holds until Sabu hurls a chair at his face. Camel Clutch is locked in and Raven tries to grab Funk in an attempt to release the hold. Long headlock by Raven (“a good headlock!”, in his own words) leads to Credible re-entering the match. He precedes to nearly brain Jason with a ladder. He ends up on the wrong side of the ladder as a result of an irish whip and suplex, so Raven counters by hurling Sandman into it several times. Sabu and Credible brawl outside and Raven and Sandman attempt to brawl inside. Alfonso chokes Raven with a big grin then promptly leaves. Raven and Sandman duke it out over a table as Chastity tries to choke Sandman. This could be scored to Benny Hill music. Sandman is DDT’d, and then Tyler Fullington is DDT’d. He’s not 10 anymore, so it’s OK. Oh, then Oliver Fullington makes a run in, the same size/age as Tyler used to be, and DDTs Raven. Credible eats an Arabian facebuster through the table to end it all.

Winners: Sabu and Sandman
A great, big, fat, fucking mess. *

Post-match, Raven insults Sandman’s whole family. Credible thanks the crowd for the best four years of his life, and Da Baldies brings beer for everyone as Harry Slash plays.

Disc 3

As a bonus, the forty-five minute Q’n’A session prior to the show is included. With near enough every wrestler on the show in the ring, the Terry Funks are asked questions and the Bilvis Wesleys are left twiddling their thumbs. I’m not going to bother recapping it (although I’ll say Dundee is glad Michael Jackson is dead) but it’s a nice extra.

The 411: It’s definitely better than both of the Hardcore Homecoming shows, but not quite at the One Night Stand level. The party atmosphere and general ring rust of the majority of the participants will clearly not be to everybody’s tastes, but if you’re a sucker for ECW get-togethers then you’ll appreciate the nostalgia.
Final Score:  6.9   [ Average ]