Ring Crew Reviews: WWE Royal Rumble 2011

Posted by Jack Bramma on 01.29.2012

Edge-Dolph Ziggler for the World Heavyweight Championship, Orton-Miz for the WWE Championship, and the Biggest Royal Rumble Ever.

• Scheduled Card:
1. World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge (c).
2. WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. The Miz (c).
3. 2-on-1 Handicap Match for the WWE Divas Championship: LayCool vs. Natayla (c).
4. Royal Rumble Match.

• “Tonight, the road to Wrestlemania BEGINS!” The video package says that for over two decades 30 men have battled to be in the main event of WM which isn't really true since the automatic title shot didn't start until around the mid 90s but who cares. Tonight, though, they will have 40 to make it the “biggest Royal Rumble ever!” Interestingly enough, there's a montage of faces at the end asking who will be the 1 and the last face shown? Alberto Del Rio. (Though the montage ends on Del Rio's face, Cena's face is in the one burned into the number 1 immediately after).

• World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge (c). If Edge uses the Spear, he automatically loses the belt. EXCUSE ME! Striker: “She's like a can of strawberry soda with botulism. Look at that top!” Vickie reminds everyone of the stips and brings out Dolph. Edge with a knee to the gut and some forearms to start. Dolph comes back with some rights and pounds down in the corner. The ref pulls him away and that allows Edge to send him into the turnbuckle as Striker and Lawler continue to talk about what's really important Vickie Guerrero. Edge hits a gutbuster for 2. Edge sends him off and hits a knee to the gut for 2. Cole: “Do you think nerves could be playing a part in this slow start for Dolph Ziggler?” Crickets. Lawler: “Are you talking to me?” Cole: “Well, either one of you.” Crickets again. FINALLY, he repeats the questions and Striker answers. Good omen for commentary all night. Dolph gets to the apron but Edge baseball slides through and trips him up and then sends him into the barricade a couple times. Back in, Dolph cuts him off with a knee and a neckbreaker for 2. Dolph boots away and drops a few elbows on the apron. Dolph chokes and covers for 1 and then goes to the chinlock. Dolph tries a sunset flip off the second rope but Edge rolls through and catapults him into the turnbuckle for 2. Dolph comes back with another neckbreaker for 2. Dolph with the senton neck whip for 2 and goes back to the chinlock. Dolph throws some Soul Glo at him and drops an elbow for 2. This is kinda boring. Edge gets to the apron and Dolph shoulderblocks him off and into the barricade. Dolph drops some elbows on the neck and goes back to the chinlock. As he torques it, Lawler marvels at how impressive he is as an athlete and how impressive the chinlock is. Edge escapes. Dolph gets a head of steam but they collide on a double crossbody. Dolph up first and tries a Stinger Splsh but lands on the turnbuckle. Cole plays up how normally Edge would go for the Spear here but can't now. Dolph with another headstart but Edge catches him in a flapjack. That's 3 times in this match that Dolph has ran towards Edge and Edge has used the momentum against him. It's be pretty sweet if Dolph tried a Spear to really spit in Edge's face but Edge avoided and hit him with some kind of Zig-Zag variation to win it instead. Edge comes back with a couple burritos and the facebuster for 2. Dolph with a jawbreaker for 2. Dolph tries a Rocker Dropper but Edge CATCHES HIM IN A LOW DOWN POWERBOMB! NICE! Cover gets only 2. Dolph preps a superplex but Edge blocks and headbutts him off the top. Edge with a crossbody off the top but Dolph rolls through and covers for 2. Crowd was into that nearfall. A subtle “Let's go Ziggler!” chant gets going as he hits a Bluechipper dropkick for 2. Zolph tries the Zig Zag but Edge counters to the half Sharpshooter to a pop. He elbows Dolph's back but Dolph struggles and finally makes the ropes. This has picked up quite nicely. Edge tries a Bossman attack but Dolph avoids and comes back with the Rocker Dropper. Cover gets 1, 2, 2.9! Crowd was into that false finish as well. Edge counters a whip and hits a big boot. He looks like he wants to go for the Spear. He reluctantly relents and Ziggler goes for the Sleeper! Edge escapes and hits the Edge-o-matic but Vickie stops the count. VG smacks Edge! He goes to attack her but sidesteps a Dolph rush. He also avoids Vickie but gets O'Connor rolled by Edge. Cover gets 1, 2, 2.99! Vickie now smacks Edge several more times. Kelly Kelly comes out to waffle Vickie and give her a Thesz press on the floor. Dolph hits the Zig Zag from behind! He covers for the ONE, TWO, THR—ONLY TWO! DOLPH GOES TO THE SLEEPER! Edge struggles and in the process, they bump the ref. Edge counters the sleeper with the backpack jawbreaker. Vickie and the ref are both down and the crowd is calling for the SPEAR! Edge senses it and hits it to a LOUD pop. Edge sells the impact to fool the now-recovering ref. Edge recovers as well and hits the Unprettier and Dolph is out at 20:48. Now, THAT'S an awesome match. That seriously snuck up on me. The heat was pedestrian with some competent but uninspired neckwork from Dolph. But once Dolph got impatient and started overplaying his hand and Edge was able to use his defenses and counters as offense, the match really picked up nicely. Also, the (over)booking here was great and even the KK run-in made sense given the build-up on Smackdown. This match has vibes of Stone Cold-Dude Love in terms of (over)booking and HBK-Orton in terms of working against normal finisher and yet all of it works. Just a ton of fun. ****1/4

• WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. The Miz (c). So, Miz cashed in on Orton to win the belt back in November. Orton beat Sheamus in a cage match to be number 1 contender and here we are. Pre-match, Miz gets on the stick backstage and says his reign has been marred by lies about how Randy Orton or Jerry Lawler SHOULD have beat him. Tonight, he sets the record straight because he's the Miz and he's awesome.

• Orton blocks a shot and lands a few of his own to start. He pounds down Miz in the corner and then shitcans him and sends him into the barricade a few times. Orton with a clothesline on the floor. Back in, cover gets 2. Orton boots him around casually like a sack of shit for a while and then catapults Miz back into the ropes. Orton tries a charge but runs into an elbow. Orton no sells and pounds him down again anyway. Orton outsmarts Miz again and back elbows him. Riley hotshots him from behind to a loud reaction from the crowd and now Miz goes to work. Miz sends him across but Orton comes running out of the corner with a clothesline. Nice of Orton to pretend to give Miz a chance for 30 seconds. Orton tries a charge but Riley pulls Miz out of the way and Orton eats turnbuckle. Miz with the corner clothesline for 2. Miz chokes for a while and Riley attacks behind the ref's back again. Miz covers for 2. Miz goes to the chinlock. Orton escapes with a headbutt but runs into a knee from Miz for 2. Miz with a Batista kick for another 2. Orton tries coming back but runs into a back elbow. Cover only gets 1 this time. Miz puts Orton on the apron and gives him a knee to the head for 2. BACKTOTHECHINLOCK! Orton escapes out and grabs a sleeper. Miz counters to a German suplex attempt but Orton elbows out and hits a back suplex. Double KO spot and Miz recovers first with a big boot. Miz heads up top but Orton crotches him and follows up with a superplex. Cover gets 2. They slug it out and Orton wins that one and goes to the clotheslines. Orton with the neck/backbreaker and Miz rolls to the apron. Orton preps the apron DDT but Miz backdrops him to counter and Riley puts the boots to him. Nice reversal. Finally, Miz gets to do something to take Orton off his game. Miz rams him into the barricade a couple times and back in, cover gets 2. Miz with the AWESOME HAMMER OFF THE TOP! Cover gets 2. Miz with the GnP and covers again for a 1. Miz goes to the shitty Recliner. Orton powers out but Miz shitcans him. Miz catapults Orton into the ringpost. Orton beats the count back to the ring by no selling and hitting a Thesz press and a series of rights. Orton with a couple of clotheslines and a powerslam. RANDY'S HEARING VOICES IN HIS HEAD! GARVIN STOMP! Cover gets 2. Orton preps a piledriver but Riley distracts. Miz with the neckbreaker combo for 2. Orton sidesteps. RKO ATTEMPT! Miz counters. SCF ATTEMPT! Orton with an AngleSlam for 2. Miz rolls to the floor and says he's taking a walk. Orton cuts him off with a clothesline on the floor. Miz with a DDT back in for 2. Miz tries another Batista kick but Orton school boys him. 1, 2, 2.9! Orton now with the apron DDT! THEVIPERISCOILED! But WAIT! THE NEW NEXUS AS COME OUT! They stand menacingly in the aisle. Orton shitcans Riley into them. Miz wants the SCF! Orton counters. RKO! CM PUNK SLIDES IN! G2S TO ORTON! Punk drapes Miz. Ref slides back in and counts 3 at 19:50. First half of the match was all Orton and not to the match's credit. Once they shifted into competitive counters and nearfalls the match got enjoyable, but it's still like 80% Orton, 20% Miz in terms of (in)equality. Solid but nothing special. ***

• Meanwhile, Grisham is in the back to interview Cody Rhodes but after the HEINOUS attack at the hands of Rey Mysterio, Cody isn't here. Instead, he's issued a press release. He says he has a “shattered face” and his “career is in jeopardy.” Rey Mysterio hasn't reached out to him to apologize and he wishes for everyone to respect his privacy in this time of crisis and reflection. This is great and when Cody really started to hit his stride.

• 2-on-1 Handicap Match for the WWE Divas Championship: LayCool vs. Natayla (c). Striker says that the more Natayla talks, the more he's attracted to mannequins. BUT WAIT! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?! The anonymous RAW GM vetoes this handicap stuff and makes it a fatal four way.

• 2-on-1 Handicap Match for the WWE Divas Championship: LayCool vs. Natayla (c). Fatal Four Way Match for the WWE Divas Championship: Layla vs. Michelle McCool vs. Eve vs. Natayla (c). Layla tosses Natayla into the turnbuckle and then LayCool doubleteams Eve with choking and a pair of clotheslines. They hit a double Stroke and then kick her to the floor. Natayla comes back with clotheslines on both and catapults Layla into McCool. McCool floors to the floor and pulls Natayla out. Layla takes her down with a clothesline. LayCool are now face to face in the ring. They try and milk it but the crowd is mostly silent. Eve rolls up McCool for 2. The faces clear the ring. Natayla teases a Sharpshooter but Layla breaks it up. So Natayla takes her down and puts the Sharpshooter on Layla and Eve but McCool breaks it up with a superkick. McCool: COUNT! YOU NEED TO COUNT! Layla with a neckbreaker on Eve for 2. Natayla takes down both with clotheslines. Natayla with a JuvyDriver to crickets on McCool. Natayla is now adopting the Undertaker/Hacksaw Jim Duggan shtick of HOOOOOOOing louder the more emphatic the move or strike is. Natayla drives Layla into the corner with a HOOOOOOOO and follows with a discus clothesline (OOOOWWWWWW!). Natayla tries a fireman's carry but McCool accidentally superkicks Layla off her shoulders. Natayla rolls up McCool for 2 and then shoves her out of the ring. Eve shitcans Natayla and heads up top. Eve with a moonsault and covers while McCool rolls up Natayla. The ref counts 3 but McCool was a second too late as Eve wins it at 5:12. Crowd didn't care about the potentiality of LayCool imploding and the drama of the match was lost at that point. *1/4

• Meanwhile, AmDrag is in the back with Gail Kim and Josh Matthews. Josh wants to know what he thinks about his RR chances. Before he says much, the Bellas interrupt with flowers and are here to apologize for freaking out about their relationship. The Bellas then pay them back handed compliments about why their relationship works. A catfight ensues before refs breaks it up.

• Next, Cole speculates about whether Miz would be a good Revolutionary War hero before leading us into a RR video package. It's the same RR by the numbers package they have shown for a few years now with only updated stats.

• Royal Rumble: This is of course the BIGGEST ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH IN HISTORY! CM Punk draws 1. The Corre's music plays for number 2 but instead the entire stable encircles the ring. They slide in and beat down Punk and that brings out the New Nexus. The RAW GM chimes in and breaks up the nonsense. He says if they don't get back to the locker room he will DQ all of them. Danielson is actually number 2. They go through their stuff with AmDrag getting the advantage and ending with a missile dropkick off the top. Crowd gets dueling chants going as Danielson whiffs on a dropkick on the corner. Justin Gabriel is 3rd and he jumps Punk. Punk and Danielson collide on a double clothesline. Gabriel heads up top and tries the 450 on Punk but comes up dry. AmDrag tosses him over the top easily. Zack Ryder is next at 4 and it looks like 90 second intervals. Ryder with a pair of facewashes. Striker: “He's got the Nasty Boys' trunks on.” Ryder gets slingshot into Punk for a leg lariat. AmDrag then dumps Ryder with a hiptoss. William Regal is 5 and is in Striker's opinion, the greatest wrestler to never win a world title. Crowd chants for Regal as he goes through his suplexes and knees on both. Danielson and Regal slug it out with Euro uppercuts. Regal wins that but then AmDrag takes down both with a couple of enzuigiris. Ted Dibiase is next to crickets. He hits a few clotheslines and then goes to work on Punk. Dragon and Regal pair off and Dragon wins that with more kicks. Morrison out next with another assortments of clotheslines and dropkicks. Dibiase tries a shitcan but Morrison lands on the apron. Regal bumrushes him and knocks him off but Morrison lands ON THE BARRICADE WITHOUT HITTING THE FLOOR! Regal can't believe it and Ryder dumps him in his confusion. Morrison catwalks around and jumps to the ringstairs and gets back in the ring. That's still awesome and incredible that he didn't slip on any of that. A sober Jeff Hardy probably can't do that much less the usual Jeff Hardy or Victory Road Hardy. Yoshi is next and he goes for Dibiase. Punk breaks that up and squares off with Yoshi. Dragon tosses Punk into the turnbuckle. To show how exciting things are at the moment, we get 2 more replays of Morrison's dramatic save on the barricade. Husky Harris is next at 9. Cole: “He calls himself the army tank with the Ferrari engine.” That's the worst attempted catch phrase ever. That thing rolls off the tongue like a sledgehammer. He plows through everyone and protects Punk. Dragon and Morrison now go for Punk and collide with Husky. Yoshi and Dragon take turns kicking Dibiase.

• Chavo is 10 and ALMOST headscissors Punk to the floor. Chavo with the 3 Amigos on Ted but Punk breaks it up. Chavo then does them on Punk and again on Morrison and Dragon. Husky breaks up the nostalgia pop but runs into a boot in the corner. Mark Henry is next and he's a face. He has headbutts for all. He catches Chavo off the top and dumps him. Yoshi jumps his former tag partner Henry but that doesn't end well for him. Henry headbutts him to the floor. JTG is next. His flurry lasts no time before Husky pounds him down with Henry's help. Husky tries to toss Dragon but that goes nowhere. Dibiase and Morrison battle in the corner. Punk clips Henry's knee from behind as the match grinds to a halt. Michael McGillicutty is out. He tosses JTG. Husky and Michael now team up on Dibiase but Morrison and Dragon jump them from behind. Dibiase ducks a clothesline but then gets backdropped to the floor. Chris Masters out next. He hits a spinebuster on McGillicutty and puts the Masterlock on Punk to a pop! The resurrection of Chris Masters's career! No more nightmares of Cena breaking the Masterlock Challenge at Tribute for the Troops or Lashley later on like it's nothing. No more thoughts of jobbing to Kane and Big Show with Carlito at WM 06 in seconds. No more peak of his career being the mild threat that he could be world champ at NYR 06 when he was last in the Elimination Chamber against John Cena! No more wondering about the days of feuding with Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair! HE'S BACK! McGillicutty breaks it up and ends the Masterpiece's fans' fantasy booking. David Otunga is out next. He helps Husky and Punk toss Danielson out. CHRIS MASTERS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! They try to toss Morrison but he hangs on for a minute before succumbing to the numbers. They gang up on Henry and give him a few Ho Trains and he's gone too. Tyler Reks is 16 and he's all alone against New Nexus. They hold him off and Punk enzuigiris him and shitcans him. Crowd boos this big time because they sense this going on for a while. Kozlov is next. He boots a couple around before getting tossed out as well. Cole says this could be the greatest strategy in the history of the RR twice. Personally, I'd have to say Nunzio's attempt to never enter the ring in 2004 (though Goldberg didn't take too kindly to that lack of sportsmanship and gave him the Spear of a lifetime for it) or Road Dogg's fetal lock on the bottom rope in 2000 were better. Truth is next for nothing and he's thrown out as well. Lawler: “This is not what the Royal Rumble is about.” Cole: “You would do the same thing.” Lawler: “Yeah, if I could get four or five suckers to play along.” Khali is next and Punk wants to hide before Otunga. Khali clubs all of them down and tosses Husky to a HUGE pop. Khali threatens a brain chop but Punk begs off.

• Mason Ryan is out at 20. Ryan and Khali go at it. Mason ducks a shot and shitcans Khali. Booker T is next to a big pop and Punk begs off immediately. Striker: “This is a mark out moment! I'M MARKING OUT, BRO!” Booker with the ax kick and Harlem side kick. He hits the Book End on McGillicutty and follows up with the Spinaroonie. Punk tries to sneak him up but Book reverses. Mason Ryan cuts that off and tosses Book instead. John Cena is out next at 22. Cena made a vow to eliminate all of them earlier according to Cole. Cena with a bulldog on Otuna and then lowers the bridge on Mason Ryan. Cena clotheslines Otuna and McGillicutty out. Now, it's just Punk and Cena. Punk and Cena collide on a double clothesline. Hornswoggle is next while both are down. Punk gives him a roundhouse to big heat. Punk tries to toss Cena but instead Cena FU's him to the floor to a pop. Cena helps HS up and decides to let him hang around. Tyson Kidd is next. He succumbs to an HS headbutt and comically heascissors. It's funny because he's a midget you see. Cena FU's him but HS wants to hit his own. Cena then casually tosses him. Heath Slater is 25. Cena with some shoulderblocks and a Protobomb but Slater slides out. HS gives him a Stunner so Cena can finish him off with a 5KS with HS's help. A tadpole splash later and Slater is history. Kofi Kingston is next. Kofi and Cena don't want to fight but both look at the WM 27 sign and decide to just do what's necessary. Kofi with a couple leapfrogs and dropkicks. Jack Swagger is next to end the love fest and he hits clotheslines on all. Swagger with a couple of Vaderbombs as HS just stands in the corner. Swagger says he's going to Wrestlemania but Kingston jumps him from behind with HS's distraction. Kofi and HS with a bombo Boom Drop. Sheamus is next. It's a shame how they made him drop all of his King regalia and gimmick. I swear it seems like Owen Hart paraded around his Black Hart cape and Slammies for YEARS. Sheamus got to be king for maybe a couple months before they took the shtick away from him. Sheamus takes down the faces and than piefaces a troll yelling Hornswoggle. HS tunes up the band and gives Sheamus Sweet Shin Music. Sheamus no sells but Cena gives him a suplex from behind. Sheamus recovers and gives HS a pump kick and eliminates him. Mysterio is next. Rey counters some stuff with ranas and headscissors. He wants a 619 on Swagger but Sheamus cuts him off with a clothesline. Kofi hits Trouble in Pradise on Sheamus. Swagger tries a pop up suplex but Rey drops down and boots him down. Swagger hangs on the apron but Rey follows it up with a 619 to his head and Swagger's out. Cool elimination.

• Wade Barrett is out at 30. Wade has boots for a bunch and tries Wastleland on Kofi but Rey clips the knee. Cena comes back but runs into a Bossman slam from Barrett. Dolph Ziggler is next. He jumps Kofi and hits a dropkick on Cena. Wade and Dolph team up on Cena but Rey ends that doubleteam. Kevin Nash as Diesel is next in an appearance that netted him a main event program later in 2011. He even puts the glove on during the entrance and the crowd pops. Nash no sells Barrett and casually tosses around everyone. He hits Snake Eyes on Kofi and big boots on everyone. Nash with a short arm clothesline on Cena. Drew McIntyre is next. Crowd gets a LETS GO DIESEL chant going as Drew and Sheamus pound him down. Rey hits 619 on Nash to boos. Miz's music plays but Riley is next. Cole: “AN A-BOMB FOR A-RY!” Cena boots him away before he gets out of the blocks. Barrett tosses Nash to boos. HUGE Diesel chant while he leaves. Miz joins commentary since he's the only one with WWE Championship experience. King doesn't appreciate that dig which nicely continues their feud. Show is next at 35. As Nash leaves, he passes Show and they both do a double take. Nash is all, “Sorry about breaking your neck when giving you a powerbomb.” Show is like, “I'm more upset about you no showing Starrcade 97.” Cooler heads prevail though and they don't brawl. Show shoves everyone away and gives them headbutts. Show tosses Dolph very casually. Cena tosses Riley accidentally (yes, that's right) and looks surprised about the whole ordeal. No mention on commentary yet. Zeke is next as Drew jumps into a ChokeSlam and gets thrown out by Show. Zeke clips Show's knee and EASILY dismisses him to the floor. Miz mentions how intelligently Riley is doing his job and then does a double take when he realizes he isn't in the ring. None of the crew can locate him due to the snafu. Santino is next at 37. He runs out as everyone else lays on the ropes. Zeke no sells Santino and then Sheamus boots him out of the ring under the ropes. Cole says the “Official WWE Statistician” tells him that Cena has been in over 25 minutes even though he didn't know Riley had been tossed out a few minutes ago. Zeke and Barrett almost toss Cena but he makes it back in. Alberto Del Rio is next. Now, STRIKER confirms that indeed Riley was tossed out. Del Rio doesn't even make it to the ring before Orton clubs him down from behind at 39. Orton sends him into the stairs and slides him in. Orton hits a few RKO's and tosses Kofi and Sheamus. Orton goes face to face with Cena and the crowd is basically quiet through this supposed confrontation of the megapowers. Cena points to the WM sign and still nothing from the crowd.

• Kane interrupts the crickets at 40 with his pryo. Kane and Barrett both break up the face to face of Cena and Orton. Kane with a Ho Train and sideslam on Orton. Zeke takes him down with a clothesline. Kane lowers the bridge and Zeke is out. Kane continues pounding them down. Kanye tries a ChokeSlam but Rey counters and ranas him out. Barrett then shoves Rey to the floor.

• Final Four: Orton, ADR, Cena and Barrett. Cole: “AW BABY, THIS IS CRUNCH TIME!” Orton tries to toss ADR but he hangs out. Barrett tries the same on Cena but Cena comes back with a gutwrench powerbomb. Cena and Orton now redo the staredown and still the crowd doesn't pop even an iota. They slug it out and both tease their finishers but Wade breaks it up. Wade with a vertical suplex on Cena. Wade chokes Orton and ADR pounds down Cena. Cena FU's ADR. BUT WAIT! ALEX RILEY HAS COME BACK OUT! He distracts Cena and Miz sneaks him and shitcans Cena. Cena tells Cole this isn't over before stalking off. Orton fights off ADR and Wade with clotheslines and powerslams. Orton tosses Wade but ADR sneaks him and ousts him and that's it at 1:08:41. VAYA CON DIOS! The celebration is on. BUT WAIT! SANTINO RECOVERS AND IS STILL IN IT! Santino hits the Cobra! He starts playing the trombone but ADR sidesteps and tosses him to really end it at 1:09:54.

• Outside of Punk and the New Nexus and Cena's quest to toss them, this is pretty light in terms of storylines. You've got mild overlap with Miz/Riley-Cena and Cena-Orton and Cena-Hornswoggle, but ALL of that runs through Cena and the crowd wasn't nuclear for him. There's little in the way of memorable moments other than Morrison's parkour stuff and the pops for Nash and Booker. No interesting eliminations or things that might blossom into future feuds other than Cena-Miz. Even the teased upset ending with Santino is only good for a mild amusement, not anything you seriously want to happen with the automatic WM shot. Middle of the road for my favorite gimmick match. ***

The 411: Can you have an automatic thumbs up for a PPV that is only 4 matches, even if one of those is over an hour long? That's a loaded question and of course it depends on the quality of the matches rather than the number, but WWE has trained people to expect at least 7 matches on most 3 hour PPV even Royal Rumbles so it's a bit surprising. I appreciated the 20-ish minutes they gave both world title matches to make them seem important so I'm happy there. I'll go with a narrow thumbs up mainly for the mild greatness of Ziggler-Edge and the RR as a sure-fire gimmick.

Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]