The Name on the Marquee: Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake

-Your host is Gene Okerlund.

-We start with one of Brutus’ first appearances, a guest spot on “TNT” with Johnny Valiant doing all of the talking.

WORLD TITLE: HULK HOGAN (Champion) vs BRUTUS BEEFCAKE (with Johnny Valiant)
-Beefcake shoves Hogan, and the crowd goes nuts for it like you wouldn’t believe, just wanting Beefcake to die on the spot for having the audacity to shove the Hulkster. Beefcake struts, so Hogan struts himself to taunt Beefcake. Beefcake charges and Hogan’s ready for him and just unloads. Jesus, the crowd is about to riot out of joy because Hogan clotheslined a guy.

-Beefcake gets offense, mostly clubbing forearms, but Hogan fights back with turnbuckle shots and a choke. Beefcake reverses an Irish whip to finally get the advantage, and he puts the boots to Hulk. Beefcake does his own choking and knocks the big man out to the floor, and Hogan doesn’t exactly Hulk up, he just gets flat-out PISSED and yanks Beefcake out to the floor, ramming him from post to post and biting him for good measure. But it’s for naught because Beefcake reverses another shot to the post and brings Hogan back inside for a two-count.

-Slam by Brutus gets another two-count. Bearhug by Brutus, and he gets Hogan in the air for it, which looks awesome. Coliseum Video gracefully edits straight to Hogan lifting his arm and breaking out of the hold. Big fucking clothesline nearly takes Brutus’ head off. Big boot, a slam, and a legdrop almost finish, but Johnny V hops up to the apron to offer some interference. It backfires, as Brutus kneelifts his own manager right off the apron and Hogan rolls him up for the three-count. 1 for 1. Hogan was ON during the first year of his title reign and made his buddy look like the star of tomorrow here.

-We blitz through Brutus: The Heel Years with some extended clips; the British Bulldogs winning a non-title match by DQ and then taking the tag team belts at Wrestlemania 2; Adrian Adonis accidentally cutting Brutus’ hair during a six-man tag team match and Brutus vowing revenge; Wrestlemania III, where Brutus gets fired by Johnny V, then gets his revenge on Adrian Adonis by cutting off Adonis’ hair.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. JOHNNY V
-Brutus unveiled his new gimmick in a TV bout where he lopped off some of Johnny’s hair, and this is a rematch from a few weeks later at Boston Garden. Johnny attacks at the bell and chokes away at his former meal ticket. There a million things you can get printed on the back of your tights, and for some reason, Johnny’s tights read “Moon Shine,” and even Gorilla and Alfred have a “WTF?” exchange.

-Brutus makes a comeback with clotheslines and an atomic drop. Sleeper finishes Johnny off, and Brutus cuts off even more hair. 1 for 2. Squash-o.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (with Jimmy Hart)
-Greg Valentine’s first match with Jimmy Hart back in his corner…Valentine attacks before the bell and snapmares him. Forearm shots and punches by Valentine. Beefcake fights back with an Irish whip and a clothesline. Bodyslam and a stomp by Brutus. He sends Valentine into the turnbuckle and chops him down. He misses an elbow and Valentine hammers him down. Valentine goes upstairs, but gets Flair-slammed.

-Rapid-fire punches by Beefcake, and he starts to work the leg for some reason. Backdrop is countered by Valentine and he tries for the figure four immediately. Beefcake shoves him off, then goes after Jimmy Hart for trying to pilfer the clippers. Jimmy goes for them again and Brutus goes after him, so Valentine attacks from behind and tries for the figure four. Beefcake kicks him away and goes after Jimmy Hart.

-Valentine attacks Beefcake from behind and a slugfest erupts. The referee gets wiped out pretty good in the midst of it. Brutus suddenly applies the figure four and Jimmy takes one more crack at getting his hands on the clippers. He actually gets them this time and sneaks up on Beefcake, but Beefcake is ready for him and tosses the Mouth onto the floor. Valentine attacks from behind and applies the figure four. Referee is still out, so Valentine keeps it applied for a good long time. Beefcake crawls over to the clippers and Valentine freaks out & releases. The referees have to keep everybody separated as The Fink announces the double-disqualification. Jimmy declares, “We’ll get you, baby!” Good little bout. 2 for 3.

NON-TITLE: BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. HONKY TONK MAN (Intercontinental Champion, with Jimmy Hart)
-Beefcake and Honky exchange dances and struts to start, while Danny Davis steps in to say that he’s keeping an eye on the referee to make sure that he doesn’t let Beefcake use the clippers. And if Beefcake does try to use them, Danny will be right there to walk around the ring for a while.

-Three atomic drops by Brutus in the ring, then one on the floor. Back inside, he sunset flips Honky for two. Beefcake misses a charge and Honky slams him. He goes off the second turnbuckle but gets caught with a gut shot. Brutus clamps on the sleeper right there and Jimmy runs in with the megaphone, but Brutus catches him before he can put it to use. Brutus puts Jimmy in the sleeper, clears Honky from the ring, and cuts some of Jimmy’s hair. 2 for 4. Really short; it just felt like filler.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. DANGEROUS DANNY DAVIS (with Jimmy Hart)
-Beefcake backs Davis into the corner and Davis immediately goes to the eyes and throws punches. Beefcake punches back and slams him down. Davis begs for mercy while Sam Houston challenges Davis to another match.

-Meanwhile, Beefcake makes a wish in the corner, but Davis mounts a comeback with kicks and punches. Beefcake reverses an Irish whip and hammers Davis with more punches. High hiptoss by Brutus. He continues punishing Davis and tosses him to the floor. He slingshots him back in and clamps on the sleeper. Jimmy tries coming off the top rope with the megaphone, but Brutus catches him and press slams him onto Davis, then simply pins Davis to win. Post-match, Brutus knocks Danny out of the ring and puts Jimmy to sleep. Davis manages to rescue his manager right as Brutus is about to take the scissors to him. 2 for 5; It’s Danny Davis.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. “The Million Dollar Man” TED DIBIASE (with Virgil)
-Ted is technically the hometown boy in this match, making his summer residence in Hyannisport, MA, but the crowd still boos him out of the building. It’s also clear that they’ve been saving their garbage for this guy.The crowd has behaved themselves the entire night, but DiBiase shows up and suddenly the ring looks like a dumpster. DiBiase offers Beefcake “a thousand…no, five hundred dollars” to forfeit the bout. Duke Dougherty can’t believe the reaction that the crowd is giving to “Beetus Broofcake.” Brutus refuses to leave, but sucker-punches DiBiase, steals the money, and gives it to the fans at ringside.

-The match starts proper and Beefcake beats the hell out of DiBiase. Beefcake ducks a clothesline but gets caught with a boot. Beefcake recovers quickly and tries to finish immediately with the sleeper. DiBiase gets to the ropes and goes outside for a breather. Back inside, DiBiase begins throwing punches to take control. Beefcake reverses an Irish whip and backdrops DiBiase. DiBiase begins coming back with punching and kicking. Snapmare and a fistdrop between the eyes. He chokes Beefcake out and chops him down. More choking by DiBiase. He goes for a backdrop, but Beefcake makes it a small package for two. DiBiase comes right back from that with a suplex for two. DiBiase applies a headlock, but Beefcake gets to his feet and elbows free. DiBiase heads to the second rope, but gets caught with a punch. Beefcake lays into him and sends him into the turnbuckle. Shoulderblock by Beefcake. He goes for another one and Virgil hooks the leg. Beefcake is sufficiently distracted and gets rolled up for the three-count. 3 for 6. Not a classic, but I enjoyed it.

SAL FEDORA TRAINS BRUTUS BEEFCAKE
-Sal Fedora was a renowned hair stylist who “trained” Beefcake. We get a series of vignettes where Fedora tries to show the finer points of hair styling and Beefcake keeps doing rough, psychotic stuff with scissors and spraypaint on his practice head.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE vs. DINO BRAVO (with Johnny V)
-Lock-ups and Beefcake throws a right hand to stagger Bravo quickly. Atomic drop is reversed by Beefcake. Hiptoss and a slam by Beefcake compel Bravo to head to the floor. Back in, arm wringers are exchanged and Bravo gets the advantage with a handful of hair. He puts the boots to Brutus. Gutwrench suplex by Bravo, followed by a legdrop. Slam by Bravo and an elbow gets one, but he decides he’d rather keep punishing the Barber. Side suplex by Bravo and the Rougeau Brothers drop in to say that he want revenge on the New Dream Team. You guys are really taking your sweet-ass time with this revenge, you know that?

-Beefcake mounts a comeback with punches. Inverted atomic drop by Beefcake, and then a backdrop. Johnny V comes up to the apron, but Beefcake meets him with “a Sunday haymaker.” Beefcake turns his attention back to Bravo and nearly finishes with the sleeper, but in comes Greg Valentine, and it’s a 3-on-1 assault. They just annihilate Beefcake until the Rougeaus finally make good on their promise and clear the ring. 4 for 7. Another short TV match, but at least something happened this time.

BRUTUS “The Barber” BEEFCAKE & ROUGEAU BROTHERS vs IRON MIKE SHARPE, JIMMY JACK FUNK, & JOHNNY K-9
-Total squash match; Brutus can’t put anybody to sleep, so the Rougeaus just hold Iron Mike in place for a haircut. 4 for 8.

And that’s the end of the tape. I know, right?

The 411: I think the big problem with this tape, oddly enough, is that they released it too soon. Beefcake was in the zone from 1988-90, putting on a ton of good matches with opponents like Greg Valentine, Honky Tonk Man, Randy Savage, and others, but he was still getting into a groove during 1987. Three years later, this would have been a must-have.
Final Score:  5.0   [ Not So Good ]