100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA King of Trios 2012, Night 1

Easton, PA – 9.14.2012

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Jakob Hammermeier, Gavin Loudspeaker, Steve “The Turtle” Weiner, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Mike Quackenbush.

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
The Colony (Fire Ant & Green Ant) & assailANT vs. Team SENDAI Girls (Meiko Satomura, Sendai Sachiko & DASH Chisako)

Chisako is too short to take Green Ant up on his offer for a test of strength. She kicks him and puts on a wristlock. Green Ant controls her by her ankle on the mat. She trips him into a side headlock. Green Ant gets two with a crucifix pin. She dropkicks him in the chest and throws some forearms. She gets two with a basement Blockbuster. Fire Ant and Sachiko tag in. She headscissors him to the floor. assailANT tosses Sachiko to the floor, bringing in Satomura who exchanges forearms with him. She uses a sole butt, an uppercut and a chest kick to win the exchange. Sachiko tags in. He uses a flying headbutt, much like Green Ant would, to take her down. He and the real Colony members wear down Sachiko until she headscissors Green Ant to the floor. Satomura comes in and uppercuts Fire Ant. Chisako and Sachiko throw some Maraha Isappa like double team moves his way to get a two count. Green Ant suplexes Sachiko, but assailANT catches her with a reverse atomic drop in the process unbeknownst to him. Fire Ant kicks Satomura in the head. She kicks out of his pin attempt. Satomura kicks Fire Ant in the head and also gets a two. assailANT uranage suplexes Satomura with no tag made. He gets Green Ant and Fire Ant in the ring to give Sachiko their signature corner dropkick. Green Ant puts on the Cloverleaf. Sachiko gives him an Ace Crusher to break the hold. Green Ant slams Sachiko and Chisako simultaneously! assailANT and Green Ant get in a disagreement. Green Ant headbutts assailANT! Satomura gives Green Ant a Pele kick. Sachiko helps Chisako out with a Shiranui. Sachiko then hits a moonsault. Chisako follows with a frog splash for the pin at 12:30. That was solid opening match that established the SENDAI Girls as a team to be reckoned with right away. Not only did they show their proficiency as a unit but knocked off 2/3rds of last years’ tournament winners right off the bat. A good, energetic match to kick the show off. **3/4

The Batiri are backstage. Kobald calls Delirious a genius for bringing together all of UltraMantis Black’s enemies. He believes that under Ophidian’s lead they will be unstoppable. Ophidian steps in. He says the one goal Delirious gave them was to ensure that Mantis’ hopes of winning King of Trios are not realized. He warns everyone in the King of Trios that they will be the tournament winners.

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) & Gran Akuma vs. The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald)

Ophidian is in the Batiri’s corner. Akuma attacks Kobald on the floor, leaving Obariyon and Kodama to ambush Jagged and Matthews. 3.0 quickly take control with the Flip, Flop and Fly. Akuma clotheslines them both. Jagged knees Kobald after Matthews gives him a backbreaker. Matthews trips him into an elbow from Jagged and a back senton from Akuma. The Batiri send 3.0 to the floor and isolate Akuma in their corner. Akuma catches Kodama with a German suplex and tags in Jagged. He sends Kobald out with a flying forearm and gives Kodama a dropkick. He slides through Obariyon’s legs so that Matthews can give him a headscissors. Kodama suffers the same fate. Obariyon throws him to the floor and Akuma headscissors him instead! He gives Kobald the Tenchi Crash for two. Kodama and Obariyon give him the Bronzing (their drop toe hold/knee strike) combo and sandwich him with dropkicks. Jagged breaks the cover. Kobald spears him. When Matthews tries to interject, Obariyon hits him with the Rapture (his Flying DDT). Akuma breaks that pin. Obariyon gives him the Seventh Circle. Jagged forearms and Samoan Drops him. Matthews powerbombs him into the Boston Crab. Kodama dropkicks Matthews and gives him a spinebuster. Kobald goes for the pin. Akuma picks him up and places him on the top rope. Kodama brings him down and tosses him to Obariyon for the Seventh Circle. 3.0 make the save. 3.0 send Obariyon and Kodama to the floor. Jagged pops Kobald into a spear from Matthews for two. Obariyon and Kodama trip Jagged when 3.0 for the Sweet Taste of Professionalism. Obariyon comes in to knee Matthews to the floor. Akuma accidentally knocks down referee Dan Yost with Kodama on his shoulders. Ophidian comes in with double knees on Akuma. Kobald follows up with the Demon’s Toilet for the pin at 11:08. Ophidian’s interference was clearly seen by the referee, but aside from that faux pa this was really good. 3.0 and Akuma are a trio that logic dictates would not work well together but they do. The Batiri of course were going to win but the action was good enough to overlook the forgone conclusion. **3/4

Team Osaka Pro is backstage. They speak in Japanese. Ebessan acts like a tourist, take many pictures during their promo like a stereotypical Japanese tourist. Some sort of group cheer ends it.

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
Team Osaka Pro (Kikutaro, Ebessan & Takoyakida) vs. F.I.S.T. (Icarus, Chuck Taylor & Johnny Gargano)

Sugar Dunkerton is in F.I.S.T.’s corner. He is now sporting a new F.I.S.T. outfit. Takoyakida wants a clean fight and offers to shake hands with Taylor. Taylor baits him in for a kick and armdrags him. Takoyakida mocks Taylor before sending him out with a dropkick. Ebessan and Gargano tag in. Ebessan absorbs all of Gargano’s strikes. He falls over after tiring himself out from firing up. Once he recovers, he crossbody’s Gargano causing him to roll up. Icarus and Kikutaro step in for a true dream match. Icarus reveals a Best in the World shirt underneath his jacket and throws it at Kikutaro. Even with as strong as he thinks he is, Kikutaro’s shoulder blocks do nothing. Kikutaro is confused by Icarus’ drop down and leapfrog. Icarus becomes irritated when trying to set him straight. He instructs him to take a dropkick. Kikutaro side steps in and stomps on Icarus with his other teammates. They put glasses on Icarus while Ebessan puts on a Camel Clutch. Kikutaro even tweets a picture of Icarus in that guise. Icarus backs Ebessan to the corner. Dunkerton trips Icarus “by accident.” Kikutaro back chops Icarus and Takoyakida pescado’s onto him. Meanwhile Gargano and Taylor lay in the boogie boots to Ebessan. F.I.S.T. bully Ebessan in their corner until he back elbows Gargano as he comes down the ropes. Kikutaro comes in fired up. All three F.I.S.T. member slam him. He gets up each time, then falls over when giving them the Hulk Hogan finger point. He kicks out of Gargano’s pin. Although he’s able to chop Gargano in the corner, his bulldog is a bust. Gargano superkicks him for two. He walks the ropes and ends up crotching himself. Kikutaro weakly chops Gargano in their chop exchange. He eats F.I.S.T. Kicks in the corner, but luckily his teammates make the save. Gargano gives him some mocking chops. Kikutaro powerslams him for two. He dragonscrew leg whips all three F.I.S.T. members. Gargano blocks the first Shining Wizard but eats the second one. Ebessan chops up Taylor. His DDT attempt is a failure. Taylor gives him Sole Food. Ebessan waistlock slams him. Takoyakida steps on Icarus’ toe and gives him a Kamehameha for two. He clotheslines Icarus in the corner. Icarus throws him off the top rope and drops him with the Wings of Icarus. Ebessan breaks the cover. Behind the referee’s back, Icarus jabs Takoyakida in the face with Dunkerton’s afro pick! Icarus rolls up Takoyakida and holds his tights for the pin at 21:02. I literally laughed out loud during this match. This was every bit as entertaining as I was anticipating it would be. When you put six guys in the ring who don’t mind being foolish or looking foolish, it’s tough to not have a great time. We also got to see just how Dunkerton works out with F.I.S.T. in full force; not so well. A true pleasure to watch. ***1/4

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw & Manami Toyota vs. Soldier Ant & The Swarm (combatANT & deviANT)

The Shard is in The Swarm and Soldier Ant’s corner. Quackenbush is now wearing an outfit with the same blue and gold colors 17 wore before he was put on the shelf permanently. Quackenbush swats at combatANT on the apron. He then takes Soldier Ant to the mat. Soldier Ant kicks him away and armdrags him into a seatbelt pin. Quackenbush puts on a bodyscissors sleeper hold until Soldier Ant gets to the ropes. Quackenbush sweeps his legs and tags in Toyota. She missile dropkicks him to the floor. She boots deviANT. He responds with a running knee attack. She German suplexes him for two. Jigsaw huracanrana’s and enzuigiri’s combatANT for two. He suplexes combatANT into a slingshot senton from Quackenbush. Jigsaw double stomps him. deviANT jumps in when Quackenbush begins to twist up combatANT’s upper body. Quackenbush gets rid of deviANT. His team all hit corner attacks on combatANT. Jigsaw stomps on his back. The Shard grabs Jigsaw’s leg, allowing combatANT to nail him from behind. He and deviANT take turns attacking Jigsaw. Soldier Ant sabotages his team by preventing some cheap tactics and refusing to be tagged in. He even gets in the Shard’s face when he tries to interject. combatANT misses a moonsault, allowing Jigsaw to tag in Toyota. She rolls combatANT around on the mat. She dropkicks him in the back after trapping him in the ropes. She boots deviANT to the corner and comes off the top with a dropkick. She throws some kicks Soldier Ant’s way. She German suplexes him for two. She and Quackenbush double palm strike him in the corner. Jigsaw gets two with a Michinoku Driver. Quackenbush springboards onto his opponents and the Shard with a tumble weed senton on the floor. combatANT gives Toyota a TKO for two. Jigsaw superkicks him. Soldier Ant throws deviANT out and gives Jigsaw a reverse TKO for two. deviANT pulls Toyota off the top rope. She kicks him. Quackenbush gives him the Quackendriver II. Jigsaw double stomps him, Quackenbush follows with a swanton, and Toyota finishes off with a moonsault for the pin at 14:34. This was another match that had a nice blend of storytelling and action. Quackenbush was persistent in his desire to wrestle the members of GEKIDO while Soldier Ant continued to distance himself from them as much as possible. It will be interesting to see just how Quackenbush holds up going into Round 2. All of Wink Vavasseur’s CHIKARAbrmetrics created teams have all been eliminated in Round 1. ***1/4

After the match, Quackenbush grabs combatANT by his arm and twists his neck up. Jigsaw gets in Quackenbush’s face asking what the point of that attack was. He wants to keep Mike focused on the tournament. When Soldier Ant gets near Jigsaw, Jigsaw shoves him and tells him to mind his own business. He walks to the back in a hug. Quackenbush tells Soldier Ant that he did it to protect “us from them” before also heading to the back.

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield, Mark Angelosetti & Matt Classic) vs. Team JWP (Commando Bolshoi, Tsubasa Kuragaki & Kaori Yoneyama)

Veronica Ticklefeather is in the Throwbacks’ corner. She has also traded in her majorette garb for a cheerleader outfit. Hatfield almost smacks Yoneyama’s behind but thinks better of it. She counters his backbreaker with a splash. Hatfield offers up a baseball game which she accepts. Classic momentarily walks away in disgust. Hatfield strikes her out with three high underhand pitches. Yoneyama rolls him up when Hatfield asks for a handshake. He does the same thing to her when she asks for a hug. They forgive and hug one another, which makes the re-emerged Classic upset. Angelosetti steps in with Bolshoi. She takes Angelosetti down with the Déjà vu and walks the ropes. Hatfield comes in, so Bolshoi sends him and Angelosetti out with a headscissors/armdrag combo. Kuragaki mows through Angelosetti and Hatfield with shoulder blocks. Classic steps in unafraid. Kuragaki eventually takes him down with a shoulder block too. She also wins a test of strength, causing Classic to walk away in a huff. After some strategizing on the floor, the Throwbacks end up bullying Yoneyama in their corner. After rolling up Angelosetti for two, she tags Bolshoi back in. He military presses her and drops her to the mat. He arrogantly lifts her up with one hand. Bolshoi sends him to the ropes where she hits the 619 for two. She slides out of the ring, allowing Yoneyama to come in with a missile dropkick. Classic takes her to the top rope. Kuragaki headbutts him down while Bolshoi dropkicks Hatfield and Angelosetti to the floor. Kuragaki drops both Yoneyama and Bolshoi onto Classic! Kuragaki gets two with a splash. Bolshoi and Yoneyama send Angelosetti and Hatfield out. Classic puts Kuragaki in the Claw. Kuragaki lifts him up for a Torture Rack. Classic submits at 12:42! The JWP team may be my favorite in this tournament. They had a good showing and played along with the the Throwback characters perfectly. This also makes the third year that Classic would cost the Throwbacks from making it past the first round. Veronica has a hissy fit over their loss. ***

The Spectral Envoy is backstage. UltraMantis Black says tonight is where it all begins. He says The Submission Squad is but a stepping stone for them. Tonight begins their quest where it all ended so many years ago. He feels it is their destiny to be champions.

That promo was obviously shot far in advance, because due to travel issues, The Submission Squad got not make it to the show. Veronica and Angelosetti are still ringside from the previous match. The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger is pulled as the first name. The Stranger and Veronica exchange glances of the flirtatious nature as he comes down the aisle. He lets Veronica pass by like a true Texas gentleman would. The second name to be pulled from the hat is Osaka Pro regular Kazuaki Mihara. Although Kwang and Stan Hansen are not around, Tito Santana is! We now have a trio for The Spectral Envoy to face.

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked & Frightmare) vs. The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger, Kazuaki Mihara & Tito Santana

Mantis Mongolian chops Stranger in the corner. Stranger puts on his leather jacket, which does not sit well with the vegan Mantis. Mantis puts on his cloak for what the fans deem to be a “jacket battle.” Stranger then puts on his cowboy hat and Mantis grabs his skull staff. Stranger puts his hat on the skull. He cradles Mantis for two. They take their jackets off before engaging in combat again. Manti grabs his arm before tagging in Hallowicked. They exchange arm holds ending with Hallowicked sending Stranger to the corner with a Japanese armdrag. Stranger blocks the Go 2 Sleepy Hollow and kicks dust into Hallowicked’s face. Stranger slaps him away. He points his finger gun, but Frightmare uses scare tactics to send him out. Those tactics do not affect Mihara. He clotheslines Frightmare. Frightmare yakuza kicks him in the corner and huracanrana’s him to the ropes. He and Mantis deliver an overhand chop/enzuigiri combo. Mihara shoulder blocks Mantis to the floor. Mihara spears Frightmare for two. He puts Hallowicked in a headlock and slams him for two. Frightmare comes in with a dropkick. Stranger gives every Envoy member their own double axe handle. Hallowicked gives him a Rydeen Bomb for two. Stranger side steps his attack and gives him a bulldog. After the Stroke gets him two, he goes to tag in Santana. Mihara intercepts and tags himself in. He keeps on top of Hallowicked. It takes two big boots before Hallowicked can tag in. Mantis and Frightmare chop Mihara up. Stranger blind tags in and sunset flips them both for two. Frightmare backdrops him across Mantis’ knee for two. Mantis gives him the Uncle Slam for two. Frightmare also gets two with the Frightmare on Elm Street. Mihara breaks the cover when Hallowicked hits the Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Stranger gives Hallowicked a clothesline and finally tags in Santana. He throws some strikes at Hallowicked and gives him a bodyslam. After a backdrop, he nails the Flying Burrito to the delight of the crowd. Mantis comes in and rolls Santana up for the pin at 16:28. The middle portion of the match with Mihara fell flat. He didn’t show much emotion and his offense wasn’t terribly exciting. Luckily, the other five carried their weight and made the rest of the bout quite enjoyable. The fact that Tito Santana got one of the hottest tags I have ever seen in 2012 does my heart good. **1/2

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
The Faces of Pain (Meng, The Warlord & The Barbarian) vs. Team Ring of Honor (The Young Bucks (Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson) & Mike Bennett)

While The Faces of Pain are making their entrance, The Submission Squad shows up. They are shooed out the door and told that they have missed their match. Maria Kanellis is in Team ROH’s corner. After all these years, the Faces of Pain are still terrifying men. The ROH team jumps Meng from behind. Meng only becomes angrier when his head is thrown into the top turnbuckle. The Bucks decide to work over his left arm. Nick and Bennett choke him on the ropes while Bryce Remsburg is distracted. Meng roars after eating a triple dropkick. He sends Bennett to the floor and double clotheslines the Bucks. Barbarian tags in and throws Nick onto Matt. Nick eats a double headbutt from him and Meng. Bennett goes to the floor to avoid eating Barbarian’s boot. Warlord powerslams Nick. Barbarian twists up the Bucks’ arms simultaneously. They roll to the floor in pain. Barbarian sends Bennett out with a shoulder tackle. Meng tags in, only to be chop blocked by Matt. Team ROH take turns attacking Meng and keeping him grounded. They even get to cheat when the Barbarian comes in and Bryce has to deal with him. Matt jumps off the top rope. Meng catches him with the Tongan Death Grip! Nick superkicks Meng, but Meng is just able to reapply the hold and put it on Nick simultaneously. Bennett dropkicks Meng so he releases the hold. The Bucks foolishly attempt More Bang For Your Buck and fail. Meng throws Matt to the corner, crotching Nick on the top rope. Warlord tags in and cleans house with clotheslines and slams. The Bucks throw double superkicks. Warlord shakes it off and clotheslines them to the floor. He powerslams Bennett for two. Meng runs in to send the Bucks out. He backdrops Bennett, who is able to turn that into a sunset flip and score the surprise pin at 12:42. Watching the Faces of Pain beat the heck out of the ROH team was great, but there wasn’t enough of it. This followed the usual tag team formula, which in most cases is the right call but did not work out in this instance. The fans were not interested in seeing Meng worn down, they wanted to see him destroy people. Bennett pinning Meng was by far the best decision to make ROH the most hated team in the tournament. I liked this for what it was, but it had potential to be even better. **1/2

King of Trios 2012 First Round Match
Team WWF (The 1-2-3 Kid, Aldo Montoya & Tatanka) vs. The Extreme Trio (Tommy Dreamer, Jerry Lynn & 2 Cold Scorpio)

Everyone shakes hands, except Dreamer and Montoya. Scorpio breaks some lock-ups with Tatanka cleanly. They exchange wristlocks. Scorpio stands steadfast from Tatanka’s shoulder blocks attempt. Scorpio knocks Tatanka down with his own flying shoulder tackle. Tatanka chops Scorpio to his corner where he tags in Dreamer. Montoya of course tags in as well. Montoya controls Dreamer’s wrist, even giving him an armdrag for good measure. Dreamer gets two with a running crossbody. Lynn and Kid tag in and UWF fans rejoice. Lynn armdrags him onto the entrance ramp. Lynn hops over Kid in the corner, but turns around and gets knocked down with a spinwheel kick. Kid gets one with a legdrop. Lynn headscissors him to the corner. Kid sets up Lynn for the Bronco Buster. Bryce cuts him off from doing the crotch chop. That pause lets Lynn get up, but Montoya clotheslines him from the apron anyhow. Lynn responds with a poke to the eyes and a back rake. Montoya drop toe holds to the corner and stomps him silly. Montoya pulls him out of the corner with a powerbomb for two. He rolls out to bring Dreamer in. Dreamer calls him out for using Justin Credible like moves. Montoya calls him crazy. Suddenly, the math goes into slow mo. The moves don’t matter, the fact that six veterans who are by and large unfamiliar with CHIKARA play along with this is so wonderful I can’t even begin to describe it. What’s even crazier though is that Tommy Dreamer pulls out a remote control to pause everybody but himself. That actually happened. He punches Tatanka, unpauses him, and he falls and rolls to the floor. Montoya attacks Dreamer from behind to bring things back to normal speed. Dreamer hits the ring post shoulder first when trying to attack Montoya. Dreamer gets his boot up to avoid Montoya coming off the second rope. Scorpio tags in. He throws a series of jabs and splashes Montoya in the corner. He superkicks the oncoming Kid but can’t block Tatanka’s clothesline that turns him inside out. Montoya gets sent crotch first into the post by Dreamer. Lynn and Scorpio help Dreamer attack but can only get two counts. Dreamer misses an elbow, allowing Tatanka to come in and chop down all of the ECW team. Tatanka gets two on Dreamer with the Renegade Drop thanks to Scorpio breaking the cover. Both teams brawl on the floor. In the ring, Lynn and Dreamer hand Kid and Montoya in opposite corners. Scorpio pescado’s onto Tatanka so Lynn and Dreamer can hit stereo dropkicks. Kid gives Dreamer the X-Factor and Lynn breaks the cover. Scorpio hits a modified Tumbleweed on Kid. Tatanka gives him the Renegade Drop. He chops Dreamer from the second rope. Lynn blocks Montoya’s attempt at That’s Incredible. Instead he gives Montoya the Cradle Piledriver for the pin at 20:50. It’s cliché for older wrestlers to receive “you still got it” chants, but they were earned by all six competitors. I was surprised by not only how good the wrestling was, but by how much fun they had and how that fun translated so well to the viewers. I would not have guessed this would be the best match of the evening, yet here we are. ***1/2

The Extreme Trio are backstage after their match. Scorpio says it feels good to be back with his ECW crew. Dreamer says it turned out to be Aldo Montoya in the match after all and not Justin Credible. Scorpio says he could not have asked for better partners. Lynn considers tonight a family reunion not only with themselves, but their opponents as well. Dreamer says how CHIKARA reminds him of ECW. He has not worn an ECW shirt in awhile because it never felt truly right to wear it. Tomorrow night, they face Team ROH. He looks forward to facing them since they are the future, but he plans to show them that his team still has what it takes to get the job done. Scorpio begins to speak and Dreamer reminds him not to swear. He says they are going to take Team ROH to school.

The 411: A strange collection of matches, but overall a fun watch. The main event delivered more than I imagined and everything else had a good mix of good wrestling, storyline advancement, and genuine moments of joy. We’re off to a good start, but things are only going to get better from here. Night One on its own gets a recommendation but as we’ll see it’s a better compliment to the other two shows. You can buy this show on DVD, as a digital download, or On Demand at Smart Mark Video.Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews at my CHIKARA blog; "The CHIKARA Special" and all the CHIKARA news over at "The CHIKARA Special" Tumblr. In addition to that, you can check out a lot of promos from CHIKARA DVDs over at the CHIKARA Special YouTube Page.

Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]