Views from the Hawke's Nest: PROGRESS Wrestling's Chapter Three: Fifty Shades of Pain
Posted by TJ Hawke on 11.27.2012
Jimmy Havoc and Jon Ryan mutilate each other for our pleasure.
September 30, 2012
Islington, Greater London, England
Commentator: Jimmy Barnett
Noam Dar vs. Paul Robinson
The match was supposed to be Dar vs. MK McKinnon, but McKinnon was a scratch for whatever reason. Dar is very, very good.
They went back and forth until Dar dropkicked Robinson’s left leg. Dar got the heat after that for a bit. Robinson came back with a rapid fire forearms, but Dar then dropkicked him to the floor. Robinson came back with a tope suicida. Robinson then hit a springboard shoulder tackle. That looked awkward. Dar came back with a Brogue Kick, but Robinson fired back with a superkick. Dar hit a bridging Northern Lights suplex for a nearfall. Dar went for a ghetto stomp, but Robinson avoided it and hit a Blue Thunder Bomb for a nearfall. Dar avoided a guillotine legdrop. Dar then hit a Fisherman suplex and then a Fisherman buster: 1…2…NO! LEGLOCK FROM DAR! GRAPEVINE! Robinson had to tap out!
This was a really strong opener that I enjoyed a great deal. Dar is a future star. I love his work so much, and I really want him to get a tour of the American indies soon. Robinson played the spunky tecnico role well, and I wouldn’t mind seeing him on future shows. Match Rating: ***
Xander Cooper bears a striking resemblance to Draco Malfoy, so the crowd had some fun with that to start the match. Cooper cut Andrews off early with a nice knee strike. Cooper got the heat for a while after that. Andrews eventually came back with a series of kicks and a Bubba Bomb. Andrews got a nearfall with a springboard crossbody. Cooper came back and went for a moonsault, but Andrews avoided it. Cooper hit a backstabber, but Andrews got his foot on the ropes. Cooper went for an avalanche backstabber, but Andrews fought out of it and hit a shooting star press: 1…2…3!
Good basic match that worked for the crowd. They didn’t do anything too spectacular, but this match was definitely enjoyable and more crisp than the Scarlo Scholarship Championship match from Chapter 1. Match Rating: **1/2
The London Riots (Rob Lynch & James Davis) vs. The Bastard Squad (Danny Garnell & Darrell Allen)
The Riots are hated by the crowd. Lynch hit Garnell on the floor with a Michinoku Driver. Allen then hit Lynch with a superkick and hiptossed Davis onto Lynch. A tag match broke out shortly after that. The Bastard Squad were in full control for a bit. Eventually, Davis caught Allen with a Tenchi Crash variation to cut him off. The Riots got the heat on Allen for a while after that. Allen eventually hit Davis with a Trouble in Paradise, but Lynch knocked Garnell off the apron before a tag could be made. Shortly thereafter, Allen escaped and tagged out to Garnell. Garnell made a comeback. Lynch eventually caught Garnell with a spear and Allen with a super belly-to-belly suplex. Allen tried to come back with a double dropkick, but they caught him and hit a double powerbomb: 1…2…3
The Riots attacked Danny Garnell with chairs after the match. The Riots lay out an open challenge for any team.
This was another solid match in a string of them to start the show. I like that the Riots have been booked strong to start their run in PROGRESS Wrestling. I look forward to seeing them against higher profile teams going forward. Match Rating: **3/4
Jimmy Havoc vs. Jon Ryan
Ryan got some “Gillberg” chants from the crowd. Havoc went for a slingshot plancha, but Ryan avoided and whacked Havoc in the face with a frying pan. Havoc wins via disqualification.
Havoc was busted open. Everyone wanted a hardcore match, so we get an impromptu hardcore match. Ryan proceeds to maul Havoc with a Singapore cane. Havoc came back with some Singapore cane shots of his own. Ryan no-sold some baking sheet shots. Havoc then hit him with a frying pan. Havoc proceeded to take a cheese grader to Ryan’s forehead. There were some audio problems at this point. Not sure if it was a problem with my computer. They ended up brawling on the floor for a while. Havoc brought an ironing board into the ring, only for Ryan to powerbomb him through it: 1…2…NO! Ryan proceeded to use a stable gun to staple the referee’s surgical gloves to Havoc’s body. Ryan then staple gunned Havoc’s cock. Havoc managed to avoid a chair shot, and he then superkicked the chair into Ryan’s face: 1…2…NO! Havoc then used the staple gun on Ryan, but Ryan came back with a hip toss through a chair. Ryan then attacked Havoc with a thumbtack bat: 1…2…NO! Ryan emptied a bag of thumbtacks, but Havoc avoided being powerbombed into them. Havoc then gave Ryan a DVD into the thumbtacks: 1…2…NO! Ok. That was a finishing spot for sure. Havoc took out a barbed wire board. Havoc bridged the board in between two chairs. Ryan gave Havoc a low blow and then put him on the top rope. Havoc managed to send Ryan into the tacks again. Havoc then put the barbed wire board onto Ryan. Havoc then hit a Ghetto Stomp: 1…2…no…overkill. Ryan then caught Havoc with a package tombstone piledriver and then hit Ryan with a wheelbarrow German suplex into the barbed wire board: 1…2…3! The fans give them a standing ovation.
This style of wrestling is never going to appeal to me, but I definitely enjoyed this match a great deal more than I expected. This match was definitely flawed (some of the nearfalls were unnecessary), but these two absolutely gave the crowd something to remember from this show. Fantastic effort from both men. If you like deathmatch wrestling, go out of your way to see this match. Match Rating: ***1/2
RJ Singh vs. Rob Cage
Singh had several managers with him. At the first sign of trouble, they pulled Singh out of the ring. His managers got involved several times in the early goings to give Singh the advantage. Singh got the heat after that. Cage eventually came back with a gutbuster, but Singh came right back with a crappy knee trembler. Cage came right back with a belly-to-belly suplex. Cage gave Singh a Wizard. One of the managers entered the ring, but Cage gave him a Wizard for his troubles. That distraction allowed Singh’s other manager to interfere. Singh then locked in the Ethnic Submission…Cage taps out!
Singh kicked Cage low and locked in the Ethnic Submission again after the match.
This wasn’t much of a match. It seemed to be designed more to just get Singh’s act over, which is fine with me. I hope they go more into Singh’s character at the next show. Match Rating: **1/4
Lion Kid vs. Stixx
Stixx was mad because he lost to Kid at the last show. Stixx jumped Kid before the match. Kid got back in the ring, but Stixx gave him a Black Hole Slam for an early nearfall. Stixx worked Kid over after that. Kid managed to get a pinning combination for a nearfall of his own. Kid then went for a diving hurricanrana, but Stixx caught him and reversed it into a Calgary Crab. Kid made the ropes. Stixx got a nearfall with a snap powerslam. Kid tried to come back with a springboard move, but his leg gave out. Stixx got another nearfall with a superplex. This match is going too long. Stixx then hit a frog splash on Kid’s injured knee. Kid tried to come back with a moonsault, but he failed. Stixx went for an urinagi (or something similar), but Kid reversed it into a DDT. Kid went for a 450 Splash, but Stixx avoided it. Stixx then hit a Border Toss: 1…2…3!
This match was not anything special at all. It went really long for no particular reason, and both guys aren’t all that crisp in the ring. This wasn’t bad or anything though. **1/2
El Ligero & Nathan Cruz vs. Dave Mastiff & Greg Burridge Marty Scurll was the special guest referee. Cruz is the current Progress Champion. Scurll failed to win the title at the last show. Ligero is the new number one contender. Ligero was not loved by the crowd.
Mastiff is a big boy. Ligero and Cruz went after Burridge’s left leg in the early goings. Ligero and Cruz eventually started to butt horns, which allowed Burridge time to escape and tag out to Mastiff. Mastiff ran wild for a bit. The teams eventually started going back and forth. Matiff started to climb a turnbuckle, but Ligero kicked his legs out so he got hung up in the middle rope. Ligero then hit a Ghetto Stomp: 1…2…and Marty Scurll refused to count to three. Scurll then kicked Ligero in the gut and sent him out of the ring. Cruz was irate, and he yelled at Scurll. Burridge caught Cruz in a fancy arm submission. Cruz tapped out, but Scurll missed it. Cruz escaped and hit a DVD variation on Burridge, but Scurll refused to count. Ligero gave Mastiff and Cruz superkicks. Mastiff killed Cruz with a leaping corner cannonball: 1…2…3!
Mastiff got on the microphone after the match, and he said he did exactly what he promised. Cruz then got on the microphone. He was irate. Ligero attacked Cruz after that. The PROGRESS Wrestling owner then announced that the main event of the next show would be Nathan Cruz defending the PROGRESS Wrestling Championship against El Ligero.
This was a weird main event for a number of reasons. First off, the match itself was not up to the wrestling standards I have quickly come to expect from PROGRESS. Secondly, referees not acting “on the level” is one of my biggest pet peeves in professional wrestling. The only time I have ever liked it was in Chikara (when Derek Sabato was a crooked ref), and when PROGRESS runs only a few shows a year, there is no reason to do something like this. While I wasn’t going to like the story no matter what, I would have been much less annoyed if this match switched spots with the Havoc/Ryan match (which would have been a much more satisfying main event). Match Rating: **1/2
The 411: This definitely feels like a transitional show for PROGRESS Wrestling. The main angle of the show was setting up the main event of the next show, which is frustrating when they don’t run a lot of shows in a year. I think PROGRESS would be better off running every show like a six match supercard with all the main angles happening after the matches. They at least need to deliver two very good to great matches if they want to be competitive in the current independent wrestling DVD market. Still though, I had a lot of fun watching this show, and I look forward to watching the rest of their shows. I think this is a promotion that I will be following for a while. Their roster is filled with incredibly talented guys. Buy this show at the Progress Wrestling DVD Store as either a DVD or a MP4.