100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA A Piece of the Action
Posted by Kevin Ford on 01.07.2013
Just like last year in Cleveland, a main event Atomicos match tears the house down.
Cleveland, OH – 11.11.2012
Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Gavin Loudspeaker, Sidney Bakabella, Leonard F. Chikarason, Dasher Hatfield, and UltraMantis Black.
The show opens with a ten bell salute for Sapphire, who was brutally murdered mid-match by “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti the prior evening.
We then go backstage to Ophidian and The Batiri. Ophidian says they were under strict orders last night to make UltraMantis suffer and make his aspirations for gold go unfulfilled. In this, they were successful. He invites Mantis to bring in anybody he wishes into battle with them, as they will suffer just like Mantis has.
The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black & Hallowicked, Fire Ant & assailANT vs. Ophidian & The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald)
assailANT is replacing the injured Green Ant. An all out war between the eight participants kick things off. Mantis ends up in the ring with Ophidian, who cost Mantis the Campeones de Parejas last night. Before he can get his hands on Ophidian, Obariyon jumps him from behind. assailANTv takes him down with a running headbutt to the chest. Kodama throws him to the floor. Hallowicked stops Kodama down in the corner. Ophidian throws him out. Fire Ant and Ophidian go through a Lucha sequence, ending with Fire Ant giving him a fireman’s carry. He sends Ophidian out with the Stop, Drop and Roll. Kobald sends him out. Hallowicked and Mantis drop him with the Sidewinder. Obariyon and Kodama break the pin. The Tecnico team get in ten punches to their opponents in all four corners. The Ants and Hallowicked pescado onto the Batiri. Mantis tries for the Praying Mantis Bomb on Ophidian. Ophidian hits him in the throat and sends him to the floor to counter. Ophidian drives Fire Ant neck first into the middle rope. Kobald drops him with an elbow, and the Rudos now have their guy to target. After being mauled in the corner, Fire Ant finds the strength to evade the Batiri’s offense and tag in Hallowicked. He big boots Kobald, and then step-up enzuigiri’s Obariyon and Kodama. Mantis Mongolian chops Kobald. Hallowicked gives him a super snapmare into Mantis’ Perfect neck snap. Hallowicked hits a Swanton Bomb for two. assailANT gives Obariyon and Kodama variations of the uranage suplex. Unlike last night, Fire Ant is game for hitting the Ants Marching dropkick. Ophidian sends Fire Ant out and enzuigiri’s assailANT. Fire Ant comes back with a crossbody and the Yahtzee Kick. Obariyon knees him in the face. Mantis drops him with Cosmic Doom. Kodama gives him a Death Valley spinebuster. Hallowicked hits Go 2 Sleepy Hollow on Kodama and then Kobald. Ophidian puts on the Death Grip. Hallowicked turns that into the Graveyard Smash. Hallowicked suicide dives onto Ophidian when he goes to the floor. Mantis sentons off the apron onto Obariyon and Kodama. Fire Ant kicks Kobald on the top rope. He fireman carry’s him off the top rope and to the other Batiri members and assailANT. In the ring Hallowicked gives Ophidian a Rydeen Bomb. Mantis Regalplexes him before setting up the Catacombs of Abbadon. He and Hallowicked pull it off but the Batiri make the save. Kodama trips assailANT into the Skull Bronzing. He then sneds him into Obariyon’s Seventh Circle. Kodama gives Hallowicked a Blockbuster. Ophidian comes in with Meteora for the pin at 13:50. That was a hot, action-packed match to kick off the show. Everyone put their best foot forward and it made for an entertaining bout. I really do think Ophidian has helped the Batiri grow and assailANT has quietly improved as a member of the Colony. ***1/4
Sidney Bakabella comes out. He tells Gavin Loudspeaker (who he refers to as Gary Michael Capetta) that he was supposed to be working for the Sheik, but his team was deemed too violent to compete. Therefore, he has come to Cleveland to give two people an opportunity. Those two men are Roger Dorn and Rick Vaughn. Hey I think that's Joey the Snake! Their opponents, of course, are the Devastation Corporation.
The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive) vs. Roger Dorn & Rick Vaughn
Smashmaster whips McMassive into both Dorn and Vaughn. They double hop toss one of the out of the corner. Smashmaster lariats the heck out of the other. The first guy takes the Death Blow, giving the Corporation the win at 1:09. Much less sloppy than last night. ½*
Soldier Ant vs. Jakob Hammermeier
When shoulder blocks prove futile, Hammermeier gives Soldier Ant a hip toss. Soldier Ant replies with some chops and a Samoan drop for two. He belly-to-belly superplexes Hammermeier across the ring for two. Hammermeier violently throws some forearms. Soldier Ant knocks him down with one of his own. He suplexes Hammermeier for two. Soldier Ant dragonscrew leg whips him into a grapevine stretch. Hammermeier makes it to the ropes to escape. He takes Soldier Ant to the corner with chops. Soldier Ant strikes Hammermeier to the opposite corner. Hammermeier makes a comeback after an atomic drop. Soldier Ant gives him a falling saluting headbutt. Hammermeier gets two with a modified Side Russian (German?) leg sweep. Hammermeier chops him up and delivers a suplex on the floor. Soldier Ant kicks out back in the ring. Hammermeier gets two again with the STO, right out of Donst’s playbook. Soldier Ant knocks him down with a rolling forearm. A diving, saluting headbutt gets him two. Hammermeier forearms Soldier Ant while he’s seated in the corner. Soldier Ant fires up with some chops. Hammermeier drops him with Gute Nacht for the win at 11:10. Hammermeier is in desperate need of help. His in ring work is boring, clumsy, and uninteresting. I’m tired of watching it. He’s beaten Jigsaw, made it to the semi-finals of the Young Lions Cup, and now has beaten Soldier Ant, yet nobody cares and he still is at the bottom of the CHIKARA food chain. It’s as if he’s failing upward. Put him over as many guys as you want; until his wrestling improves and he can connect with the crowd without Donst's assistance, no one is going to invest in him. *
Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw vs. GEKIDO (The Shard & deviANT)
Quackenbush runs in and chops up both of his opponents. They both head to the floor. Quackenbush baseball slides them into each other and then follows with a tope con hilo. Jigsaw stops him from hitting a second dive. While their arguing, The Shard and deviANT attack. Jigsaw pitches Shard out and chops deviANT to the ropes. deviANT gets double teamed and sent out. The Shard suffers the same fate. Quackenbush cradles him after Jigsaw’s enzuigiri for two. He goes for Quackendriver IV but deviANT knee strikes him before he can. He goes after Quackenbush’s perpetually hurt back. The Shard helps him out. Quackenbush is almost freed when Jigsaw crossbody’s in, but the Shard throws him out immediately and deviANT drags Quackenbush back to their corner. Quackenbush escapes for real when the Shard whips him to the ropes and he holds on. He slips to the floor and Jigsaw slingshots in with a sunset flip for two. He catches deviANT with a sole butt. deviANT sends him to the floor. Quackenbush picks him up for Quackendriver I. Shard kicks him in the back to stop him. Quackenbush sweeps deviANT’s feet on the apron. Jigsaw gamengiri’s Shard onto deviANT’s shoulders. Quackenbush suicide dives out, knocking them both down. Jigsaw uses the ropes for a brainbuster on deviANT and gets two. Jigsaw blocks Shard’s superkick and gives him a German suplex. Shard slips out of the brainbuster. deviANT kicks him in the head, right into Shard’s own brainbuster. Quackenbush makes the save. He gives Shard the Quackendriver III. He goes after Shard’s wrist. Shard bails and Quackenbush tries to grab him. From behind, deviANT rolls up Quackenbush for the pin at 9:53. That was exactly as heated as it needed to be. It further drove a wedge between Quackenbush and Jigsaw and showed just how far gone Quackenbush is in this feud. The back work the GEKIDO put into Quackenbush was on point too. **3/4
Quackenbush drags deviANT off the second rope and puts on an ankle lock. Jigsaw confronts him and asks what he’s doing. He’s upset that Quackenbush cost them another match due to him losing focus. He tells Quackenbush that he’s not acting normal, not like a mentor should. He re-iterates that point as he walks up the aisle alone.
Tonight, Mark Angelosetti was scheduled to defend his Young Lions Cup against Saturyne. Saturyne is injured however, so Angelosetti’s opponent will be pulled out of a hat, as is CHIKARA tradition. Veronica still has a remorseful look on her face from Angelosetti’s murder most fowl that occurred last evening. Alundra Blayze and Evan Karagias are not present, but The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger is! He’s looking for vengeance!
The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger vs. "Mr. Touchdown" Mark Angelosetti
Stranger trips Angelosetti and throws some punches. Angelosetti bails to the floor. Stranger follows and throws more punches. He sends Angelosetti into a sea of chairs and throws him into some of the gimmick tables. Stranger whips a trashcan at him after choking him with a shirt. In the ring Stranger hits a Thesz Press and more punches. He clotheslines Angelosetti back to the floor. Angelosetti gives Stranger a spinebuster against the edge of the ring. Once he recovers, Stranger stomps Angelosetti down in the corner. Angelosetti throws him face first into the middle turnbuckle. He fights off a bulldog and suplexes Stranger onto his stomach. Stranger fires up and nails a lariat. He hits a second one. Bryce tells Stranger if he does it again instead of going for a pin, he’s going to DQ him for Castigo Excesivo. Stranger tempts fate and hits that third lariat, and Bryce awards the match to Angelosetti at 6:24. So, in CHIKARA canon, murdering an animal mid-ring is fine, but three lariats gets you disqualified. Got it. Aside from that massive leap in logic, this was a fine way to make up for Saturyne’s absence and add even more heat to the feud. **1/2
Both guys fight after the bell, and it takes three referees, some crew members, and Dasher Hatfield to break them up. Even when Hatfield gets Angelosetti to the floor, Stranger suicide dives onto him. They have to be separated once again.
F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Sugar Dunkerton) vs. F.I.S.T. (Chuck Taylor & Johnny Gargano)
Icarus has a spool of barbed wire. His tights also match Taylor and Gargano’s – NOT Dunkerton’s. Dunkerton tries to stop Icarus from taking off his jaket. He does however, revealing a Best in the World shirt. Chuck Taylor on the contrary takes off his hoodie to reveal a Worst in the World shirt! Tremendous. Gargano wants Dunkerton to lay down but he refuses. Gargano gives Dunkerton a noogie while in a side headlock. Dunkerton locks his legs and falls backwards to apply more pressure, while also singing simultaneously. Taylor distracts Dunkerton with a lawn chair. Dunkerton poses on the chair and gets shoved off. He throws some punches at Taylor’s stomach and face. After a knee lift he tags in Icarus. He lays down and Dunkerton has to break two consecutive pins. They regroup on the floor. Icarus tricks Dunkerton into thinking they’re going to jump Taylor and Gargano, but Icarus of course throws him to the wolves. Dunkerton is beaten down and even humiliated by Gargano and Taylor. Icarus refuses to take his tag. He eventually does take it, but like before lays down to Taylor. Dunkerton breaks it. He accepts that he’s going to have to fight them by himself. Icarus tries to punch Dunkerton. He instead hits Gargano and accidentally elbows Taylor. They get into a shoving match. Gargano and Taylor hit F.I.S.T. kicks on Icarus! Gargano slingshot spears Dunkerton for two. They also get two with a suplex/neckbreaker combo due to Icarus breaking the pin. He gives Taylor an Gargano stereo Shiranui’s! He puts his jacket back on?! Dunkerton Side Russian leg sweeps Taylor. Icarus hits a frog splash for two. Icarus puts his hand out to shake Dunkerton. Before that can happen Gargano superkicks Icarus. Taylor DDT’s Dunkerton into Gargano’s Hurts Donut, giving that iteration of F.I.S.T the win and their second point at 10:08. I really enjoyed the interaction between these four. Seeing Icarus show some unity with Dunkerton, only for it to be washed away when he lost, was a cool thing to watch and makes me think that maybe, just maybe, they could work things out and be a cool “buddy cop” unit. I had a lot of fun watching these four interact. **3/4
Tim Donst is sitting backstage. He recalls that Dasher Hatfield gave him one of the toughest fights of his career a few years ago, but things have changed. Now he’s bald, Eddie Kingston is Grand Champion, and he no longer looks down on Hatfield. He’s jealous of Hatfield because he has an identity, even it was given to him by the fans. He holds Hallowicked’s lace from his mask in his hand and feels like it cost him everything. He feels karma doesn’t exist and plans to change that.
Dasher Hatfield vs. Tim Donst
Jakob Hammermeier is in Donst’s corner. Donst begs for Hatfield to hit him. Donst slaps him in the face. Hatfield is fired up. Donst sits back down in the corner, willingly taking Hatfield’s baseball slide dropkick that sends him to the floor. Hatfield then baseball slides him into the crowd’s chairs. He headbutts and chops Donst as he’s seated in a chair. In the ring, Hatfield gets two with a slingshot Oklahoma Roll. Donst comes back with an Ace Crusher. He destroys the plastic sunglasses Hatfield gave a fan prior to the match and destroys them. He then drags Hatfield off the ring apron into a backbreaker. In the ring Hatfield drives Donst’s face into the middle turnbuckle with his legs. He uses the top rope to slingshot Donst into a belly-to-back suplex for two. Hatfield applies a modified figure four. Donst rolls them out to the floor to break the hold. Donst sends Hatfield into the crowd with a suicide dive. He ties up Hatfield in the ropes. Donst slingshots him into the mat. He follows up with a spear. Hatfield gives him a backbreaker and the Jackhammer for two. Donst locks in From Dusk til Donst. Hatfield gets his foot on the ropes. Donst tries an Oklahoma Roll. Hatfield counters with the CHIKARA Special. Donst escapes with the ol’ Hero escape. Hammermeier distracts Donst. Donst clocks Hatfield with the same black bag he hit Akuma with last night to pick up the win at 10:08. The wrestling here was a step above the previous night, but a far cry from their match 2 and ½ years ago. We need a more concrete explanation of Donst’s character. He’s hovering around a point but hasn’t nailed it down. Also, him winning two nights in a row via cheating is not ideal. **3/4
Scott “Jagged” Parker says last night was good for him and Shane Matthews since they collected 2 points. 1 more point and they got a shot at Los Campeonatos de Parejas. That won’t happen tonight, as they’re teaming with El Generico and Gran Akuma to take on The Bravado Bros. and the Young Bucks. While they know and have faced the Bravados all over, the real curve ball is the Young Bucks. Matthews says they want what they have: the tag belts. He wants to know what they’re gonna do about it. BOO YA!
3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews), El Generico & Gran Akuma vs. The Young Bucks (Nick & Matt Jackson)& The Bravado Bros. (Harlem & Lancelot Bravado)
Everyone in this match (Generico aside) will be in next week’s Cibernetico on the same sides they are in this match. Matthews become fired up when Matt throws him to the mat by his hair. Jagged and Lancelot exchange wristlocks. Lancelot throws him to the mat by his hair as well. Nick cheers on the top rope and ends up crotching himself. Generico armdrags Harlem to win a wristlock exchange. He follows his partners examples by throwing Generico to the mat by his mask. Nick and Akuma have the same sequence, except Akuma has no hair so he can’t be thrown down. Nick however can and is. Same with Matt, Harlem and Lancelot in that order. Jagged boots Matt after Matthews gives him an Atomic drop. Jagged knees Matt in the side of the head for two. Matt gives him a neckbreaker and brings him to the Rudo corner. He takes some strikes from the Bravados and Nick, but is able to get his boot up to block Nick’s corner attack. Generico tags in. Nick runs the ropes and takes him down with an armdrag. He hits a dropkick for two. Generico nails a leg lariat for two. Akuma gives Nick a backbreaker. The Bravados clear the apron as Nick escapes Akuma’s abdominal stretch. The Rudos take turns bullying Akuma, including obnoxious back rakes. Akuma rolls up Harlem for a pin. When he kicks out, it sends Akuma to his corner where he tags in 3.0. They take out the Bravados with stereo Flip, Flop and Flies and drop toe hold/elbow drop combos. Both Young Bucks take those combos also. Akuma and Generico each drop an elbow on Matt’s worn down back too. More damage to Matt’s back is done with a Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combo. Nick superkicks Jagged to stop the Sweet Taste of Professionalism. Matt drops Matthews with a standing Shiranui. Jagged gets superkicked for two. He then gets beaten down by the Bucks and Bravados who are taking the match more seriously than they were earlier on. Jagged furiously throws punches to get out of the corner. He ducks Nick’s enzuigiri and it ends up hitting Matt. Generico tags in and yakuza kicks Matt to the floor. He runs the ropes for a tornado DDT to Lancelot. Harlem forearms him down. Matthews headscissors Harlem to the floor. Akuma moonsaults onto the Bravados and Nick on the floor! Generico gives Matt the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Matt hits the Worst Case Scenario and Akuma breaks the pin. Nick comes in with a slingshot X-Factor for two. Akuma comes back with a Falcon Arrow. Jagged pops up Nick for Matthews’ spear. Nick kicks out of that. Harlem bicycle kicks Matthews out. Jagged gives him a forearm. Lancelot clotheslines him. Generico suplexes Lancelot into the corner. Nick superkicks Generico to stop his yakuza kick. Matthews blocks a superkick and puts Matt in a Boston Crab. The other three Rudos are locked into Boston Crabs also. They all get the ropes to escape. Lancelot clotheslines Matthews in the corner. Matt drops him with a Tumbleweed Ace Crusher for two. The Bravados give him the Gentleman’s Agreement. The Bucks superkick him into Lancelot’s German suplex. Matthews partners make the save. The Bravados fight the others on the floor while Bucks set up Matthews for More Bang For Your Buck. Matthews slips off Matt’s back and Generico yakuza kicks Nick to the floor. He then dives onto the Bravados. Akuma delivers the Tenchi Crash to Matt. Matt also takes the Sweet Taste of Professionalism, and Matthews pins him at 24:13. It’s always a pleasure to watch these types of matches, especially with the immense quality the participants involved usually provide. This was just as good as the Atomico from last year’s Atomico main event in Cleveland, though this one had more of a story element with 3.0 pinning one half of the current tag champs. The one flaw was the apathetic crowd, which given their behavior on AIW shows, I'm not surprised. ***3/4