100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA The Cibernetico Rises
Posted by Kevin Ford on 01.08.2013
CHIKARA's annual mammoth elimination match see Kevin Steen and Eddie Kingston potentially put their feud to bed while a new Grand Champion challenger "rises."
Manhattan, NY – 11.18.2012
Commentary is provided by Leonard F. Chikarason, Chuck Taylor, and Gavin Loudspeaker.
Soldier Ant vs. "Mr. Touchdown" Mark Angelosetti
Veronica is in Angelosetti’s corner. Angelosetti opens up with a few strikes. Soldier Ant comes off the second rope with a saluting back elbow. He hits a dropkick and backdrops Angelosetti for two. Angelosetti throws Soldier Ant face first into the second turnbuckle. Soldier Ant rolls out of the corner. He armwhips Angelosetti into a cradle for two. Soldier Ant gets two again with a hip toss and a saluting headbutt. Angelosetti hot shots him on the top rope. He drops a knee onto Soldier Ant’s face for two. Soldier Ant tries for a cradle, but Angelosetti kicks out and dropkicks him upon getting to his feet. Angelosetti twists on Soldier Ant’s antennae, ripping one of them clean off his head! Angelosetti splashes onto Soldier Ant a couple of times and hits the Tebow pose. That wasted time allows Soldier Ant to get his knees up to block another splash attempt. He salutes in giving Angelosetti a satellite headscissors to the corner. A diving headbutt from the top rope gets him a two count. Angelosetti brings him out of the corner with a spinebuster. Soldier Ant counters a tackle by rolling Angelosetti up. Angelosetti escapes and gives him another spinebuster for two. Veronica tosses her baton right in front of referee Jon Barber. While he disposes of it, Veronica throws Angelosetti a wrench! He clobbers Soldier Ant with it and gets the pin at 10:07. Is that how we establish heels in CHIKARA now? They all cheat to win their matches? Donst, Icarus, Angelosetti…let’s get some variety going. That being said, the action was solid up until then but that finish really did make me roll my eyes. **3/4
Fire Ant vs. The Shard
The Shard goes for a dropkick right away. Fire Ant evades it and comes off the second rope with an armdrag. He catches Shard with the Stop, Drop and Roll. He release an armdrag as he comes down the ropes. Fire Ant tries for the Beach Break. Shard fights out and dropkicks Fire Ant to the floor. They fight on the apron. Fire Ant looks like he’s going to give him a suplex, but Shard slips into the ring and snaps Fire Ant’s back off the ropes, causing him to crash to the floor. In the ring, Shard misses a corner attack. Fire Ant chops him up. He lands on his bad knee causing him to collapse to the apron. The Shard dropkicks him in the chest. He works over Fire Ant’s neck before hitting an enzuigiri. He waterwheel slams Fire Ant into the corner! Fire Ant blocks a brainbuster with a stunner. He hits the Yahtzee Kick. The Shard goes to the floor and Fire Ant follows with a suicide dive. He dumps Shard into the crowd and then tope con hilo’s onto him! In the ring Fire Ant misses a double stomp. He grabs at his hurt knee and turns into the Shard’s superkick. He drops Fire Ant in a Gory Special for two. Fire Ant catches Shard on the top rope. Shard hands him in a one-legged tree of woe and double stomps his bad knee! Shard double stomps the knee, but Fire Ant finds the strength to kick out. Shard applies an ankle lock. Fire Ant turns it into a prawn hold for two. Shard picks his leg and stomps on it. He reapplies the ankle lock and Fire Ant taps out at 11:35. Brilliant work in this match. Not only was the Shard persistent in his attack on Fire Ant’s leg, Fire Ant sold it well, the crowd got into it, and it plays right into the storyline by the Shard going after members of CHIKARA just like Quackenbush has gone after GEKIDO members. Awesome stuff. ***1/4
The Shard keeps the ankle lock on Fire Ant after the bell. He even shoves the referee down when he tries to stop him. Mike Quackenbush walks out and the Shard bails. Jigsaw follows. Green Ant checks on Fire Ant as Jigsaw asks Quackenbush what’s going on. He tells Jigsaw that the Shard was getting ready to break Fire Ant’s ankle. He grabs a microphone. He knows that they have done things lately that they don’t agree on, but the GEKIDO has torn the locker room apart. He doesn’t know what’s right and wrong anymore, but wants to know what he has to do to fix they have. Jigsaw gives Quackenbush a superkick! He leaves with the Shard who looked quite surprised when Jigsaw kicked him. A “why Jigsaw why” chant breaks out as the Colony checks on Quackenbush.
Dasher Hatfield is backstage. He says he and his opponent tonight, Icarus, have competed in every type of match, but tonight they meet in a singles match. He has noticed that Icarus acts quite scummy when he loses a match while Hatfield takes it with dignity. He hopes Icarus will learn something from their encounter.
Dasher Hatfield vs. Icarus
This is a rematch from last night’s “Wrestling is Fun!” show, where Hatfield won but Icarus laid him out with a Pedigree post match. Hatfield wins a test of strength. Icarus kicks his hands away and takes a breather. After they trade some holds, Hatfield armdrags Icarus to the corner. He picks Icarus’ ankle until he prawn holds Hatfield to the corner. He stomps right onto his face. Hatfield elbows Icarus in the stomach and puts him in a fly trap for two. After some armdrags he smacks Icarus in the buttocks. Icarus slips out of Hatfield’s suplex and spears him for two. Icarus punches him in the corner. Hatfield carries him out, and Icarus sunset flips him. Hatfield rolls him up and tries for a slingshot suplex. Icarus slips out. They end up on the floor where Icarus gets in some chops. Back in the ring through Hatfield successfully pulls off the slingshot suplex. He Okalahoma rolls him for two. He also gets two with a Jackhammer. Icarus gives him the Shiranui and a frog splash. Hatfield kicks out. Icarus sets him up for the Pedigree. Hatfield instead picks him up and hits the Suicide Squeeze for the pin at 10:32. This was the usual rigmarole you usually see out of these guys. With no deep-seeded issue there wasn’t a lot to sink your teeth into. **3/4
Icarus attacks Hatfield post match and drops him with a Pedigree. They will meet again at “Under the Hood” in two weeks.
The Heart Throbs (Antonio Thomas & Romeo Roselli) gives us the same type of promo opening we would see from in WWE. They can’t decide on how to pronounce CHIKARA but agree that they are too good looking to wear masks like other members of the roster. They turn into hypocrites when they say that they hate pretty boys. Using their old WWE catchphrase, they ensure victory tonight.
The 1-2-3 Kid & Marty Jannetty vs. The Heart Throbs (Antonio Thomas & Romeo Roselli)
Jannetty backs Thomas to the ropes. Thomas backs Jannetty to the corner and tags in Roselli. They each get in a few shots. Jannetty tricks the Heart Throbs and they collide into one another. Thomas blind tags in as Jannetty has Roselli into a side headlock. The Throbs stop from running into each other, so Jannetty throws their heads together. He brings Thomas to his corner and tags in Kid. They drop Thomas with a double clothesline. Kid shoulder blocks Thomas as he comes off the ropes. Kid hip tosses Roselli to the corner and kicks him down. Roselli escapes the Bronco Buster. Kid notices and prevents himself from being crotched, but turns into Thomas’ leg lariat. He puts Kid in a side headlock. Kid backs Thomas to the corner and Jannetty tags in. Jannetty misses a corner splash. Roselli tags in and gets a two count. The Throbs wear Jannetty down until Roselli misses a corner splash and he’s able to tag in Kid. Kid takes Roselli down with a spin kick and connects with the Bronco Buster. Thomas kicks him down and throws him the floor. Jannetty hooks the Throbs together. He superkicks Roselli, causing him to DDT Thomas in the process. Kid and Jannetty both try coming off the top rope and are met with separate kicks. However, they send Roselli out and double superkick Thomas to pick up the pin and their third point at 11:53. The Kid and Jannetty looked old, much more so than their previous CHIKARA encounters. The Throbs really held their own and did a lot to make their opponents and themselves look good. They should definitely be brought back. After Jannetty and Kid cash in their title shot, I’m not so sure about them. **1/2
Tim Donst is sitting below a CHIKARA banner backstage, not in front of it. He wants camera man Gary to look down on him just like the rest of the world does. He does not see tonight about a chance to defend CHIKARA, but rather sees it as an opportunity for him. He plans to bring Eddie Kingston down to his level, and then rise up.
Frightmare, UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, Tim Donst, Gran Akuma, Scott “Jagged” Parker, Shane Matthews & Eddie Kingston vs. Jimmy Jacobs, Harlem Bravado, Lancelot Bravado, Jay Briscoe, Mark Briscoe, Nick Jackson, Matt Jackson & Kevin Steen
Lucha tags are in effect, meaning in addition to physically contacting a wrestler, leaving the ring counts as a legal tag. Each team has a batting order that must be followed. That means that the wrestler in the ring must tag out to the next man in the batting order. Only the next wrestler in the batting order is up on the apron while the remaining teammates on each team wait on the floor. If the batting order is broken, the team can be disqualified. The order in which the participants are listed above is the batting order for both teams. The match is under elimination rules by pin fall, submission, disqualification or count out. There can only be one winner, so if more than one man on a team survives when all members of another team have been eliminated those teammates must wrestle each other to determine the winner.
- Frightmare is the first one eliminated, tapping out to Kevin Steen’s sharpshooter at 22:20. His knee became the target of the entire Steen team when he was in the ring to start the match, then again when the entire teams had been cycled through and he found himself back in the ring. Frightmare foolishly went for Kneecolepsy on Steen instead of tagging out and found himself eliminated.
- Harlem Bravado is eliminated at 28:50, being pinned by Mantis after a Cosmic Doom. Mantis was about to give that move to Jacobs when Harlem interrupted. Then it was he who fell victim to it and ended up being ousted.
- Lancelot Bravado was shortly eliminated thereafter, being pinned by Mantis via pump-handle Regalplex at 29:42.
- UltraMantis Black got eliminated at 30:10 by Jay Briscoe. He threw a few jabs at Mantis, who seemed tired from having to fight the previous few guys on his own, and was knocked down by a discuss forearm strike.
- Gran Akuma is eliminated at 33:22. Akuma had Jay Briscoe pinned with the Tenchi Crash when Mark Briscoe came in to make the save. Mark went up top for the Froggy Bow and was stopped by Akuma. Jay came in, placed Akuma on his shoulders, and Mark hit the Doomsday Device to send him packing.
- Mark Briscoe is taken out at 33:54. As soon as Akuma was gone, Jagged flew in with double dropkicks to the Briscoes. Although Mark caught Jagged coming off the top rope, Jagged turned it into a sunset flip to pin one half of ROH’s most decorated tag team.
- Hallowicked is pinned by Jay Briscoe via the Jay Driller at 44:01. Just about everyone from the two teams went through with some brawling on the floor occurring. These two ended up in the ring and Jay was able to take out the first Young Lions Cup champion.
- Jay Briscoe taps out to “From Dusk til Donst” at 44:45. Donst, now worshipping at the proverbial church of Hallowicked, attacked the remaining Briscoe in rage after his elimination and slapped on this submission hold.
- Jimmy Jacobs is put down by the Backfist to the Future at 54:34. Jagged was beaten down by Steen’s team for a really long time. He managed to tag in Matthews after side stepping a Young Bucks attack. Matthews had Steen in the Boston Crab. Jacobs caused him to break it and attack. Jacobs was able to send him out, but turned right into Kingston’s backfist.
- Matt Jackson is pinned at 1:02:15 by the Sweet Taste of Professionalism. The Bucks went for More Bang for Your Buck on Matthews after knocking Jagged out. Matthews slid off Matt’s shoulders, Jagged crotched Nick, and 3.0 did the deal on Matt.
- Scott “Jagged” Parker is eliminated at 1:02:43 after Nick Jackson delivered a 450 splash. Nick recovered on the top rope after the previously eliminated Matt snapped Jagged’s arm and upper torso across the top rope.
- Nick Jackson taps out to the Boston Crab at 1:03:15. Matthews was able to submit the other half the Campeones de Parejas, giving 3.0 a huge leg up were they able to get a shot at those belts later on.
- Shane Matthews is pinned at 1:03:34. Although he valiantly kicked out of Steen’s F-Cinq, he was unable to kick out the Package Piledriver.
- Kevin Steen is eliminated via small package at 1:04:56. Donst did a number on Kingston on the floor and fed him to Steen. Steen noted that he always saw something in him. With a smile on his face, he told Kingston that he’s been waiting for this moment for awhile. Kingston spit in his face, so Steen tried for the Package Piledriver. Kingston countered with a Jackknife Roll to eliminate all of Steen’s team.
- Tim Donst is your 2012 Cibernetico winner, lastly eliminating Kingston with a cradle at 1:05:53. Jakob Hammermeier ran out through the crowd with a loaded black bag and handed it to Donst. He then distracted Bryce Remsburg so that Donst could clock Kingston with it. That was enough to keep the War King down and give Donst the match, after coming in second place last year.
- Team Steen asks that the Code of Honor be followed at the beginning of the match. Instead of obliging, Team Kingston starts an all out war against them. Jacobs becomes the voice of reason and things calm down.
- There were multiple occasions where Tim Donst idolized Hallowicked. He looked to him when he was in the ring being beaten by Jay Briscoe. When the Bravados double teamed Mantis, Donst jumped in to save him. At one time he blind tagged himself in to try and help Hallowicked. It will certainly be interesting to see how their relationship pans out in the future.
- Near the end of the match, the Bucks superkicked Kingston to the floor. Donst was the next one in. Instead of helping his team, he went after Kingston with a suicide dive. He continued to beat on him while 3.0 waged war against Steen and the Bucks. His goal was most certainly clear and was made crystal in the end.
There was a lot of excellent wrestling and storytelling, as their usually is in these matches. The “Ring of Honor” team were all on the ball and game to make things work, which I was curious about going in. The real complaint comes in the last two eliminations. If that’s the blow off to Steen/Kingstonfeud in CHIKARA, that’s an awfully weak way to end a feud that most every wrestling fan wanted to see. Donst also winning with a foreign object, while it makes sense for his character and was built upon from the previous two shows, was a completely dissatisfying way to end the match. It happened in the opening match too, which I feel takes away from the gravity of the ending as well. It says a lot about the work these guys put in that despite those two negatives that I still really enjoyed this match. ****
Donst and Hammermeier tie Kingston to the ropes. He gives Kingston his two weeks’ notice and clocks him with the belt. He even tosses Bryce Remsburg to the floor when he gets in his way. After being cut free, Kingston gets on the microphone. He says Ring of Honor sucks. He tells Donst that he made him in Wallingford, CT back in July of 2007, and now he will end him on December 2nd in Philly at the Season Finale.