From the Shelf: CHIKARA Caught in the Spider's Den
Posted by Dylan Diot on 02.28.2013
Eddie Kingston makes his first defense of the Grand Championship.
CHIKARA Caught in the Spider’s Den
Long Island, NY
-Eddie Kingston got Wink Vavasseur to reinstate Vin Gerard for one more match with Gerard's career on the line.
- Delirious smashed the Eye of Teir, claiming he remembers everything while he was under both Ultramntis Black's and Ares' control.
-Icarus is forcing Gran Akuma to complete a trial series in order to get a spot back in CHIKARA.
-The night before, Green Ant randomly cost The Colony a match against the Throwbacks and left without saying a word.
Your host is Leonard F. Chikarason and each match features a different commentator joining him.
Francis Kipland Stevens, a student out of the NYWC School, introduces himself as the hip hop nerd from Compton!!!
Kobald vs. Francis Kipland Stevens
Stevens wants Kobald to dance to start the match but Kobald decides he would rather bite the arm of Stevens. Stevens bites the hand of Kobald as a receipt. Backslide by Stevens gets 2 and he works over the arm of Kobald. Kobald slaps away at Stevens to come back and catches Stevens with a spear. Standing Woopie Cushion by Kobald gets 2. Stevens catches him with an O’Connor roll for 2 and Kobald comes right back with a high knee for 2. Elbow drop by Kobald gets 2 and he misses a second elbow drop. Jawbreaker by Stevens and he catches Kobald with a dropkick. Bulldog by Stevens gets 2. He goes up to the top rope and goes for a crossbody but Kobald moves out of the way. Powerbomb by Kobald gets 2. Kobald goes to the second rope but Stevens follows up. He looks for a superplex but Kobald shoves him off. Demon’s Toilet by Kobald gets the 3. Winner- Kobald ** (Match was OK. Kobald at this point needed a lot of seasoning, he wasn’t ready to carry a match on his own. Stevens was an entertaining act to watch but his wrestling left a lot to be desired.)
3.0 talk about how hot it is in the building and this somehow transitions into a story of how Dasher Hatfield’s mom makes them breakfast when they stay over his house. The key point is that tonight they will get their third point and get their title shot in Canada. Got to love 3.0’s promos.
The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield and Mr. Touchdown) vs. 3.0 (Scott Parker and Shane Matthews)
The Throwbacks currently have one point toward title contention while 3.0 have two. Touchdown and Parker start this off. Touchdown hurtles over Parker and then gives him a stiff arm before posing in front of the camera. Parker hits a leg lariat knocking Touchdown out of the ring and in comes Dasher. Hard forearm shot by Parker knocks Dasher down. Dasher gets up and calls his shot, which sets up a game of baseball with Parker acting as the ball. Parker ducks the sledges of Dasher, giving Dasher two strikes. Dasher catches him on the third attempt and declares a home run. Matthews comes in and he catches Dasher with a back elbow. This leads to an exchange of insults which ends with Matthews claiming that Dasher PLAYS BALL LIKE A GIRL!!!!!!! Dasher takes Matthews down and they slug it out on the mat with Touchdown and Parker pulling them apart. Touchdown rams Parker into the corner and hits some shoulders to the midsection for 2. Slam by Touchdown and he hits some running drill splashes. Kneedrop by Touchdown and he hits a suplex. Dasher comes in and he grabs a bodyscissors. Parker makes the ropes to break and Touchdown tags in. Shoulder to the midsection by Parker and he backdrops Touchdown. Tag to Matthews who cleans house. Dropkick by Matthews and 3.0 charge at Dasher in the corner. Drop toe hold/elbow drop combos by 3.0 to the Throwbacks and Matthews spears Touchdown for 3. 3.0 now have three points and earned a shot at the Campeones de Parejas. After the match, Touchdown refuses to shake hands with 3.0. Winners- 3.0 **1/2 (As a wrestling match it wasn’t much but there was some really funny moments and these two teams fail to entertain. Mr. Touchdown has his gimmick down pat which is impressive considering he’s only had it for two shows.)
Archibald Peck w/Veronica vs. Ophidian
As Peck made his entrance, Mr. Touchdown shows off for Veronica and she seemed into it before Peck pulls her away. Peck is actually the aggressor to start, stomping away on Ophidian in the corner. Peck tries to get praise from Veronica but it allows Ophidian to come back. He chokes away on Peck and stomps away. Peck counters a crucifix attempt into a gutbuster for 2. Gutwrench suplex by Peck gets 2. He hammers away at the midsection of Ophidian but Ophidian comes back with a neckbreaker onto the ring ropes. Ophidian goes up and hits a double knee driver from the top for 2. Ophidian locks in a nerve hold but Peck begins to fight out so Ophidian takes him down for 2. He grabs a variation of the surfboard but Peck escapes and catches Ophidian with a flapjack. Jawbreaker by Ophidian and he kicks Peck square in the chest. He follows it up with a kick to the back and hits a dropping headbutt for 1. Ophidian goes to a double nerve hold but Peck breaks by BITING the ribs of Ophidian. Spinning gutbuster by Peck and both men are down. Release german suplex by Peck and he hits the Gordbuster. Inside cradlew by Peck gets 2 and he hits a third gutbuster. Peck goes to the second rope and hits a front elbow drop for 2. He goes up again but Ophidian pulls him down and Peck’s head hits the turnbuckle. Running double knee strike by Ophidian gets 2. Kicks to the chest by Ophidian but he misses the enzuigiri. He catches Peck in the double nerve hold again but Peck powers him into a spinning inverted Razor’s Edge for 2!!! Peck takes him time to INTRODUCE his finishing maneuver which allows Ophidian to catch him in a small package for 3!!!! Veronica immediately walks out on Peck. Winner- Ophidian *** (Fun match, loved the fire and the will to win Peck showed in order to impress Veronica. Ultimately, Peck’s attempts to impress Veronica did him in. Good stuff.)
Delirious comes out and talks about how every man has a right to determine his own destiny. He speks in another language and tells Ultramantis Black he remembers everything. He repeats the words, “Two Years,” saying they were stolen from him. He talks about how many people Ultramantis Black has hurt and that he will pay for the next two years. He is chained to the wheel of karma with no escape by the mad scientist, Delirious. 2014 will be his end.
Gran Akuma talks about how his trial series begins tonight against his old stable mate, Chuck Taylor. He talks about his history with FIST and how they turned his back on him a year and a half ago. Tonight, Taylor gets to see the new Gran Akuma first hand.
Gran Akuma Trial Series- Chuck Taylor w/Icarus vs. Gran Akuma
If Akuma loses once during this trial series, he will not be allowed back in CHIKARA. Icarus does the ring introductions, throwing some insults at Akuma. Akuma controls Taylor on the mat to start and he puts Taylor in the bow and arrow. Akuma releases and Taylor goes to the corner to get some advice from Icarus. Akuma works the arm of Taylor and catches him with an octopus. Tilt-a-whirl headscissors by Akuma and Icarus spits water at Akuma. Akuma goes after him on the floor allowing Taylor to hit a baseball slide. He chokes Akuma on the railings and back in; Taylor hammers the back of Akuma. Front facelock by Taylor but Akuma fights out so Taylor hits a slam. Kicks to the leg by Akuma and he hit a straight jacket swinging neckbreaker. Akuma throws some kicks at Taylor and hits a hurricanrana. Discus clothesline by Akuma and he hits the DVD. Akuma goes up and hits the Frog Splash for 2!!! He charges at Taylor but eats a knee and Taylor hits a superkick for 2. Dropkick to the knee into a double stomp to the back by Taylor. Jackknife powerbomb by Taylor gets 2. He goes for the Awful Waffle but Akuma blocks and hits a kick to the face. Sole Food by Taylor but Akuma comes back with a release German suplex. Falcon Arrow by Akuma gets 2. He goes up and misses a moonsault off the top. Urinage by Taylor and he hits a basement superkick. Akuma counters the Awful Waffle into a roll-up for 3!!! After the match, Taylor and Icarus attack Akuma and leave him lying. Winner- Gran Akuma *** (Another solid match. Akuma looked a little rusty at the beginning of the match but he picked it up as they went into the final stretch. )
Saturyne vs. Sara Del Ray
Saturyne botches a leap frog attempt early so Sara headbutts her. Suplex by Sara gets 2 and she goes to work on the arm of the rookie. Knees to the midsection by Sara and she charges in the corner but eats boot. Dropkicks by Saturyne but Sara won’t go down. Big boot by Sara KILLS Saturyne. Backbreaker by Sara gets 1 and she goes to the chinlock. Saturyne fights out with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors but Sara comes back with a clothesline. Knees to the back by Sara and she stretches the arms of Saturyne. She starts to fight out so Sara tosses her across the ring. Saturyne comes back with a wheelbarrow bulldog and she hits some knee strikes. Spinning heel kick in the corner and Saturyne hits a springboard crossbody for 2. Sara blocks a hurricanrana with a jackknife powerbomb for 2. Axe kick by Sara and she hits a German suplex for 2. Royal Butterfly by Sara but Saturyne escapes. Sara catches a crossbody attempt and hits the Royal Butterfly suplex for 3. Winner- Sara Del Ray ** (Saturyne needed some more work but she showed some spunk and fight. Sara was at another level at this point and came out looking like a monster.)
Colt Cabana says he originally wanted to face Sugar Dunkerton but he doesn’t work for CHIKARA anymore, so he’ll face the next best black wrestler, Ultramantis Black.
Ultramantis Black vs. Colt Cabana
Cabana takes some time to play with kids in the front row and sign autographs at the start of the match. A lock-up turns into a slow dance which Mantis actually enjoyed. Mantis works the arm of Cabana but Cabana is eventually able to roll away from him. Cabana tells Mantis to look up and then immediately slaps him. Cabana tries it again but Mantis refuses to look up. He complains to Bryce who looks up. Cabana can’t help himself so he slaps Bryce!!! Mantis catches Cabana with a side Russian leg sweep and Bryce returns the slap to Cabana!!!! Cabana shakes hands with Bryce and we return to the match. Jabs by Cabana and Mantis rolls out of some bionic elbow attempts. Cabana slaps Mantis instead. Spinning toe hold by Cabana and he turns it into a bridge for 2. Wristlock by Cabana and Mantis shrieks in pain. Mantis goes to the corner to break and we have a roll-up reversal sequence for some 2 counts. They roll around the mat in the small package position and both men are dizzy. Cabana, Mantis, and Bryce flop onto the mat. Mantis chops away and catches Cabana with a full nelson slam for 2. Bionic elbow by Cabana and he hits a Tornado suplex for 2. Flying Asshole by Cabana gets 2. Cabana heads up top but Mantis stops him and follows up. Butterfly superplex by Mantis gets 2. Cosmic Doom by Mantis gets 2. He goes up and leaps off the top but eats the boot of Cabana on the way down. Cabana charges with another Flying Asshole but Mantis catches him in the O’Connor roll for 3!!! Winner- Ultramantis Black **1/2 (Not much of a wrestling match but the usual goofy fun you can expect from a Colt Cabana match. This is the third roll-up finish of the night and hopefully the trend will end here.)
Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier, and The Batiri (Obariyon and Kodama) vs. Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, and The Colony (Fire and Soldier Ant)
Quack and Jakob start. Quack outsmarts Jakob at the start, catching him in a headlock on multiple occasions. Jakob pokes the eye of Quack and he grabs a chinlock. Quack escapes and hits a reverse atomic drop. Leg sweep into a double kneedrop by Quack and Jakob bails. Soldier and Kodama are in. Springboard back elbow by Soldier and he follows with a saluting back senton. Tag to Fire and the Colony hit a double big boot. Donst comes in and attacks Fire from behind. Kick to the head by Fire and he hits a slingshot splash. Springboard splash by Quack and they dog pile the Rudos on top of one another. The Rudos get into an argument which allows Jigsaw to come off the top with a crossbody. Dropkick by Jigsaw to Obariyon and Fire hits a springboard armdrag to Donst. Jakob nails him from behind but Soldier slams him into some back sentons from Fire for 2. Donst bulldogs Fire into the feet of Jakob for 2. Donst slams Fire’s head off the mat a few times and he chokes Fire with his boot. Tag to Kodama and he hits some rapid dropping headbutts to Fire for 2. The Rudos all go after Fire in the corner and Donst gives him a Purple Nerple. Obariyon comes in and hits a flying forearm for 2. Tag to Donst and Jakob kicks Fire into a Samoan Drop from Donst for 2. Tag to Jakob and Fire comes back with a dropkick on both Donst and Jakob. Tag to Quack and he chops away on Obariyon. Back elbow in the corner into a basement dropkick by Quack. Kodama dumps him to the floor and Jigsaw catches him with a kick to the back of the head. Missile dropkick by Jigsaw and he charges in the corner but eats boot. Jigsaw blocks a Springboard DDT attempt and hits the Brainbuster for 2. The Technicos attack Kodama in the corner but the Rudos return the favor on Fire Ant. Slingshot Hilo to the floor by Kodama to Soldier. Summersault plancha by Jigsaw. Tope by Obariyon. Moonsault off the top by Quack!!!! In the ring, Donst grabs the full nelson on Fire Ant but he escapes and gets the Victory roll for 2. Fire goes to the floor and climbs a pole. HE DIVES OFF THE POLE ONTO EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!!!! Back in, Fire goes for a Tornado DDT but Donst blocks and hits the swinging neckbreaker for 2 as Soldier saves. Slingshot legdrop by Jakob to Soldier gets 2. Jigsaw goes for a springboard back elbow but Donst catches him with a release German suplex. Lungblower by Kodama and Obariyon hits the Leaping DDT for 2 as Quack saves. Suddenly, Green Ant appears in the ring. Another Green Ant comes out and claims it’s not him as the Green Ant in the ring attacks Quack for the DQ!!! Winners by DQ- Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, and The Colony ***1/4 (Some sloppy moments but the match was getting hot before the DQ finish. Solid match that I wish went a few more minutes.)
Out of nowhere, a bunch of masked wrestlers enter the ring and lay a beating on Quack, Jigsaw, and the Colony. Ultramantis Black, The Throwbacks, and Steven Weiner come out and send the invaders retreating. They help the guys to the back.
The 411: No blow away matches but most of the show was defiantly enjoyable. There was a lot of good comedy and enough solid action that makes this show at least worth a look. This is a show that you wouldn't miss anything if you skipped it but its still a fun 2 1/2 hours.