Ring Crew Reviews: WWE Money in the Bank 2012

• Scheduled Card:
1. Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Morella vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara vs. Tensai vs. Christian.
2. World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus (c).
3. Primo and Epico vs. The Prime Time Players.
4. No DQ match for the WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk (c).
5. 2-on-1 Handicap Match: Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks vs. Ryback.
6. 6 Diva Tag Match: Layla, Kaitlyn, & Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix, Natalya, & Eve.
7. Money in the Bank Match for the WWE Championship: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Big Show vs. John Cena.

• Solid video package to get us rolling putting over the briefcase as a virtual lock to make you a world champion and to back that up we get clips of various winners and their title cash-ins. We start with the most epic of MITB moments as Vince introduced Edge back at NYR 2006 and he cashed in on Cena in the ultimate goosebumps moment. We see brief glimpses of DB, Punk, and yes Del Rio from 2011 prematurely ending the Summer of Punk Redux. Good stuff altogether.

• Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Morella vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Sin Cara vs. Tensai vs. Christian. Dolph is in with Vickie; Santino is US champ; Cody beat Christian to get here; Damien Sandow is your intellectual savior and defeated Zack Ryder; Tyson Kidd is a jam up guy and high flyer of the highest magnitude; Sin Cara has cool music and mood lighting and beat Heath Slater to qualify but got powerbombed by Sheamus through a ladder last year; Tensai defeated Justin Gabriel; and Christian is IC champ and qualified by winning a tag match with Santino.

• We start with a huge brawl and Christian and Tensai quickly clearing the ring. Sandow tries to slide back in but then scoots right back out to avoiding Tensai bulldozing him. YOU’RE WELCOME! Tensai works over Kidd while Christian kicks Santino out of the corner. Tensai cuts off Christian and dumps out Santino. Tensai bails out to get a ladder and Cole puts over how much of a foul mood he is in since he lost to Tyson Kidd a couple weeks ago on RAW. Tensai slides in two ladders and continues zoning in on Kidd. He sets up a bridge in the corner and catapults Kidd into the ladder. Tensai sets up a ladder but Christian cuts him off only to eat a Ho Train. Tensai lays a ladder on him, but Christian and Kidd recover to sandwich him between ladders. They low bridge him and then baseball slide the ladder into Tensai sending him to the floor. Christian sets up the ladder as there are now SEVEN guys “selling” on the floor including five who haven’t been seen doing anything such as Sandow sitting on the hard camera side patiently waiting his turn. Santino and Kidd are back in first and they all climb up with Christian. Sandow is in to brilliantly shove over the ladder and knock all of them down. Sandow tries to climb up but Ziggler dropkicks him off the ladder and out of the ring. Cody tackles him from behind as RHODES SCHOLARS GETS PUT ON ACADEMIC PROBATION! Or something. Ziggler and Cody slug it out only for Cody to flapjack Dolph into the ladder. Dolph no sells only to whip Cody into the same ladder. Dolph wants the Rocker Dropper but Cody avoids to low blow him on the ropes. Sin Cara comes flying in and Cody ducks so Dolph eats a dropkick. Cody eats a few regular kicks and a rana to the floor. Dolph heads up only for Cara to pop up with an enzuigiri. They go for the Flux Capacitor but fuck it up royally. Kidd is in to hit a neckbreaker on Cara while Dolph rolls to the floor. Kidd wants a powerbomb but Cara rolls through into a sunset flip which doesn’t make a lot of sense here. Rather than avoid it, we get a REPLAY of the blown spot because they are playing it as how dangerous of a match this can be which works for me.

• Cara puts Kidd on a ladder and heads up top but Christian cuts him off and dumps him out. Christian goes for a Frog Splash but Kidd moves and Christian eats ladder. Kidd avoids a double team and Sandow eats a Beautiful Disaster gamengiri. Kidd hits a few kicks and then springboards in with a dropkick in a nice series. He fires up and climbs up the ladder but Tensai is back in to crash his party. He pounds him down in the corner but Santino tries to climb up. Tensai cuts him off but somehow loses his balance on a simple powerbomb and they wipe out as well. Tensai shitcans him out into the not-so-waiting arms of about six guys on the floor. He tries to do the same to Kidd but Kidd ranas both to the floor. Sandow sneaks in to climb up to HUUGGGGE heel heat. I KNOW! STICK HIM IN A TAG TEAM AND JOB HIM OUT! BUT WAIT! Cara interrupts my acid trip, so Sandow stomps a mudhole in the corner and AGAIN climbs to loud boos. He almost grabs the briefcase but Christian actually leap frogs him in the climbing in an awesome spot. They can’t make it so Christian pulls him down for the Killswitch. Sandow reverses so Christian sprints back up the ladder. Again, cool spot. Sandow pulls him down and then props up the ladder in the corner. Sandow preps an Oklahoma Stampede but Christian drops behind for the falling reverse DDT. SPEARSPEARSPEAR coming but Sandow counters to some MT knees and drops the elbow pad for the bionic elbow. Christian dodges and counters to a Spear through the ladder. Tremendous stuff from the Sandow/Christian pairing. Christian starts climbing while Dolph and Cody slide in for their run round the bend. There are seriously only 2-3 guys involved at a time while the others aren’t even brawling on the floor. What are Kidd, Cara, Tensai, etc. doing right now other than selling shitcans for 5 minutes?

• ANYWAY, Rhodes and Ziggler swing Christian into the ladder and then both try to spring up. They meet at the top and jockey for position but Tensai ends up knocking both off. Tensai hooks Cody into a Tree of Woe on the ladder and waffles him down and dumps him out. Tensai tries to climb but Kidd springboards onto the ladder to race him up. Tensai headbutts him off the ladder and almost gets the case but Santino and Cara are in and they get knocked off as well with headbutts. Christian uses that ladder match experience to waffle Tensai with a ladder and then pounds him down with Santino’s help. Santino shitcans out Christian but Dolph is in. Santino hits the split and hiptosses Ziggler into the salute headbutt. Santino pulls out the Cobra and nails Ziggler. Santino starts to climb but like Dave Taylor and William Regal, he’s afraid of heights. The Cobra encourages him to keep going but Santino can’t reach it. Sandow climbs up but Santino Cobras him off. Cody springboards in with a dropkick and Santino wipes out. Cody: “THAT’S MY BRIEFCASE!” Cody stacks him up in the corner and hits a Ho Train. Cody sets up the ladder as Cole begins to recount previous winners. BUT WAIT! VICKIE GUERRERO IS IN! She climbs up and distracts long enough for Ziggler to Zig Zag Cody off the ladder.

• LET’S GO ZIGGLER! He starts the climb but Christian is up and so is Tyson Kidd. Sandow climbs as well while Kidd flips over on Ziggler with an MDK BOMB! Ziggler sold it face-first instead corkscrewing on the way down but who cares. Christian lays out Sandow with a Cactus Clothesline. Meanwhile, Tensai works over Cody with the FIRST RINGSIDE VIOLENCE OF THE MATCH! Think about that: eight guys in a ladder match and it takes 15 minutes for the first brawl on the floor. That shows you how much they’ve been following the triple threat formula except stretched out to eight guys. Tensai preps the announce table while Cara tries a plancha. Tensai catches him and rams him into the ringpost. Tensai then powerbombs Cara into a ladder bridge in a spot stolen from the match last year that even the crew brings up. Ziggler jumps Tensai but he no sells to POLE VAULT ZIGGLER INTO THE ANNOUNCE TEAM! TENSAI HAS LOST CONTROL HERE AT MONEY IN THE BANK! Cody temporarily fazes him with two Beautiful Disaster kicks. Cody slides back in to climb but Kidd is with him. Christian and Santino are there as well. Cody gordbusts Kidd only to get Speared by Christian halfway off the ladder. Crowd is FEELING IT! They start chanting for DOLPHDOLPHDOLPH to get up. Instead, it’s Santino and Christian. Christian smashes him and Santino pulls some Looney Tunes hitting every rung on the way down. Christian tries to find the briefcase but can’t get his bearings. Ziggler races up to waffle him from behind. Ziggler reaches up and grabs the briefcase to win it at 18:31.

• There’s something really, really enjoyable about a MITB with no obvious favorites that kicks it into another gear. Because the briefcase is a virtually guaranteed ticket to the main event and a world championship, the match is dramatic even if it’s filled with a who’s who of the midcard. It was a brilliant decision by the WWE to split it up between the favorites and the also-rans in 2012, because it re-injected doubt into both matches and extended their lifespan for at least a few more years. There have been MITB matches with crazier spots and ones with more starpower and ones with better structure and less seams showing but this is easily one of my favorites. Great mini-feuds with Tensai/Kidd, Sandow/Christian, and Sandow and Rhodes teaming up some. ****1/2 though it doesn’t entirely deserve it.

• Josh Matthews is in the back with World Champ Sheamus. Sheamus sidesteps a question about Ziggler and says he’s focusing on the present instead. He says he and ADR have a lot in common: they are gearheads. Sheamus says he isn’t arrogant, he doesn’t need a giant hood ornament; he’s got the best ornament he could ever want, the WHW belt. Sheamus puts over his beat up clunker as a reliable heap that gets the job done.

• The Miz comes out for promo time after a two month break to film, The Marine 3. Miz gets quite the ovation and quickly shifts into saying he’s won the MITB before and that’s why he’s here tonight. He’s sick and tired of being overlooked and he’s throwing his hat in the ring to be in the MAIN EVENT with Kane, Showster, John Cena, and Chris Jericho. He’ll win because he’s the Miz… and a movie star… and he’s AWWWWEEE-SOME!

• Since we’re in full stall mode, we get highlights of Foley winning his first world title back in 1999 to hype up the then-upcoming 1000th episode of RAW.

• World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus (c). After several starts and stops, Del Rio prepared for this title shot by having Ricardo dress up as Sheamus and then slamming his head with the hood of a car. Cole brings up how this PPV has been kind to Del Rio including winning a MITB briefcase back in 2011.

• Hot crowd as both guys get sizable reactions at the introductions and that’s followed by a loud SISISISISISISISI chant at the bell. Not satisfied, Cole says that Sheamus also wanted to fight Del Rio because he was at Comic-Con and destroyed some famous Superman comic. After a CLUBBINGBLOW, ADR bails out to regroup. King: “Sheamus showing no respect for Del Rio with that big hammering right hand to start this match off.” Book: “Yeah, I agree. Del Rio’s has no respect for anyone, but in this business, YOU NEED THAT! IT’S ABOUT COMPETITION! IT AIN’T ABOUT BEING FRIENDS! IT’S ABOUT BEING THE CHAMPION AND MAKING A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY!” Back in, ADR smacks Sheamus and that fires up the firebrand as he pounds down ADR in the corner only for the challenger to duck out for a rope break. Good start early. It degrades into a brawl and Sheamus wins the fisticuffs. Chioda demands a break and ADR capitalizes by going to the arm. Sheamus sends him off for a back elbow and covers for a fleeting 1 count. In the corner, ADR works the kicks to Sheamus’s arm. ADR tries an armbar takedown but Sheamus blocks with MOARCLUBBINGBLOWS. ADR slowly paces into a back elbow from Sheamus to cut him off in the corner. Sheamus covers for another quick count. He drops a few knees to ADR’s head for 1, 2, kickout. Sheamus telegraphs a backdrop and ADR dropkicks hom down. ADR with a head of steam and tries a Bossman attack but Sheamus sidesteps and Ole’s ADR into the ropes. Sheamus sends him into the turnbuckle and suplexes him back in. Sheamus heads up top for the flying shoulderblock. Cover gets 1, 2, nearfall. ADR crawls out to the floor to regroup but Sheamus slides him right back in. Ricardo distracts long enough for ADR to come back with an enzuigiri that sends Sheamus reeling. SISISISISISISISI. Del Rio gathers up the arm and wraps it across the stairs and then whips Sheamus into the barricade shoulder-first. ADR heads up for a burrito and covers for 1, 2, 2 ½. ADR goes to the pseudo-armbar resthold as the crowd gets behind Sheamus. Sheamus headbutts his way free but then ghosts Del Rio on an Irish Hammer in a weird spot.

• Del Rio covers with a nice angle arm DDT for another nearfall. ADR drops a few boots and goes back to the arm. Like a pro, ADR realizes Sheamus tried to offer him the good arm, so Del Rio switches over the injured arm. ADR hits another enzuigiri and another kick to the arm. Cover gets 1, 2, no. ADR hooks in a partial RINGS OF SATURN! He quickly releases, so Sheamus try a comeback. Sheamus gets a boot up in the corner and comes back with a neckbreaker. Double KO spot. Sheamus up at 6 and Del Rio feeds into some Celtic Hammers. He charges into the corner but eats boot from ADR. Del Rio covers for 1, 2, 2 ½. Del Rio poses to boos. Sheamus tries for a Harpoon but ADR moves and Sheamus eats the ringpost BAD ARM FIRST! KICK TO THE ARM! Heel ADR might be the best guy in wrestling at actually building to his submission finisher. Back in, he hooks the leg for 1, 2, kickout. Sheamus tries to fight back with CLUBBINGBLOWS but Del Rio headbutts him down again. Ricardo shows some moral support as ADR goes for the flying armbar. Sheamus counters but gets dumped out to the apron. Sheamus slingshots in but gets caught in an ARMBREAKER! NIIIIIICE! Cover gets 1, 2, 2.7. Cole nicely follows up by saying that Sheamus wasn’t able to propel with his normal velocity due to his bad arm. YEAH! Even the crew is doing a bang up job tonight. ADR gives Sheamus another running boot to the head as Chioda threatens to DQ him and stop the match. Book puts over how ADR’s confidence is growing by the minute. Sheamus, though, Sheamuses up for a running knee and a Bulldog powerslam for 1, 2, nearfall. ADR slinks out to the apron, just so Sheamus can hit him with the CLUBBINGBLOWBARRAGE. The ref pulls him away long enough for ADR to catch him with another armbreaker this time using the ropes for leverage. Del Rio races back in but Sheamus no sells to catch him in the half nelson backbreaker. Book: “WITH VELOCITY!” Cover gets 1, 2, 2.7. Sheamus sells the arm for a second before preparing for the Finlay Roll. Del Rio slides out and goes for the armbreaker but Sheamus avoids. He goes for the Pump Kick but gets hung up in he ropes and Del Rio hits the Backcracker. Nice. Cover gets 1, 2, 2.99. Sheamus retreats into the corner so ADR can power up for the step up enzuigiri but he whiffs or ghosts him. Either way, Sheamus no sells for the Island Driver/White Noise. Rather than cover, Sheamus fires up one more time. Pump Kick follows. Cover gets 1, 2, 3 to retain at 14:28.

• I know the booking at the time was agonizingly tedious and repetitive setting up several matches between these two in the worst fashion possible, but I think that unfairly poisoned the well and got the matches bad wraps. Out of all the top faces, Sheamus consistently has the best matches with the middle tier and top tier heels like Ziggler, Del Rio, Sheamus, Barrett, etc. He gives them tons of offense, doesn’t sandbag or half-ass his way through selling, and shows genuine enthusiasm in the matches unlike some other guys (Orton). The only flaw is that Del Rio never gets a believable finish out of the whole exercise and thus Sheamus comes off looking out of his league. ***1/2

• Post-match, Ricardo jumps Sheamus from behind. ADR wallops him with an enzuigiri to even the score. ADR mounts for the GnP. The fans are a step ahead as they are chanting for WEWANTZIGGLER! The beatdown commences and Del Rio leaves Sheamus. BUT WAIT! DOLPH ZIGGLER HAS COME OUT! He gets a pop from everyone except Ricardo and Del Rio. ADR doesn’t like another man reaping the benefits of his handiwork, so Ziggler blasts him with the briefcase to the arm. Ziggler gives Chioda the briefcase, but of course, turns around into a Pump Kick from the recovered Sheamus. King wants Sheamus to cover Ziggler, but Cole points out that it wasn’t an official cash-in because the bell never rang. Cool tease that also lays out the rules and guidelines for proper cash-ins even if they’ve done it several times. Also, perhaps more brilliantly this perfectly plays into Dolph cashing in on Del Rio months later as payback for costing him here, even if no one remembers this.

• Meanwhile, we get a replay of Josh Matthews interviewing Daniel Bryan on the pre-show. D-Bry and half of his beard dispel the malicious rumors about all the marriage proposals his ex-girlfriend got last week on RAW. CORRECTION! She’s not his ex- but his future wife. DB wants to get CM Punk out of his way, so that AJ can feel the fire, the love–. Josh interrupts to bring up that she also slapped him. DB knows that Josh just doesn’t understand women – only true soul mates share the kind of passion that ignites slaps and such. Will AJ make the tough decisions? YES! Will DB emerge with her love and the WWE strap? Yes. Yes. Yes.

• Primo and Epico vs. The Prime Time Players. Tag champs, R-Truth and Kofi, are joining the crew at ringside after defeating Hunico and Camacho on the pre-show. Well, at least we can all agree that a year later, the tag division is much stronger. Awesomely, Main Event Mafia Book from Trinidad and Tobago makes a brief reappearance to greet Kofi with an accent. PTPers are accompanied by AW, not yet released, and are number 1 contenders according to Cole and the champs themselves.

• In case you don’t remember, AW is micked up during the entire match. Primo and Titus to start. Primo uses his speed early against Titus with a burrito as Kofi says that Titus looks like Seabiscuit but hits like him too. Epico with a tag in for a double dropkick. Titus kicks out at 1 and tags in Darren Young. Epico handstands in the corner and then headscissors DY down. Primo back in for a rana after a leapfrog. Primo flies out with a suicide dive on DY. Titus charges in but gets dumped out. Epico dives out on all with a flip splash. Back in, Epico with the slingshot senton for 1, 2, only 2. DY fights back with a thumb to the eye and Titus is in. Titus fumbles with a bodyslam so he switches to a back suplex so Epico can flip out. Titus comes back with a few CLUBBINGBLOWS and dumps out Epico. AW calls for a round of applause but only gets boos. Titus rams Epico into the ringpost back-first. Titus ties up Epico with a hammerlock-assisted bodyslam. He gordbusts DY down onto Epico and now, WE DANCE! DY drags Epico over to AW, so AW can help him pick his fro. Awesome. They do a bow and arrow around the ringpost as Titus tags in for a few backbreakers and a SNAP AB SUPLEX! He covers but Primo breaks it up. AW tells Primo that it’s not Taco Bell and he can’t just run across the border like that. Yeah… No comments from the announce crew on that one, even King doesn’t give the fake chuckle. Titus dances with encouragement from AW: “MACARENA ON HIS ASS!” Rosa then swings her swings to the biggest pop of the match. Epico fights back and tags in Primo to silence. DY eats a back elbow and a kick to the face. Primo knocks Titus off the apron and then flies back in with a COOL HAMMER. He sweeps DY down and follows with a springboard Swanton for 1, 2, only 2. Primo dropkicks DY into the ropes for a Bossman attack. Primo springboards in but lands in a gutbuster from DY. Cool spot. Primo recovers to sneak a roll up for 1, 2, 3 to win at 7:32.

• Jobbing your number 1 contenders in a nothing match is not a formula for success. Match was fine if completely heatless other than dancing and product placement. **

• Post-match, the PTPers decide to get them some of the tag champs at ringside on commentary. Truth gives AW a faceful of water bottle. PTP restrain AW while Truth holds off Lil Jimmy from getting involved.

• No DQ match for the WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk (c). AJ is special ref. Punk is still face and Bryan is heel. This was set-up by the love quadrilateral with AJ, Punk, DB, and Kane that converted into a triangle after Kane said AJ was too crazy even for him. This included that terrible RAW ending where AJ teased committing table-cide but coaxed Punk and DB into trying to save her only to fall victim to the table themselves. Bryan and Punk, being the best in the world collectively, decided they weren’t done as AJ wanted to marry Punk but DB wanted to marry her. She smacked both of them and third wheeled herself into special guest ref at the PPV. NO! NO! NO! NO!

• Meanwhile, Striker is in the back with AJ Lee. She says Punk and DB are amazing human beings and they’ll always have a special place in heart, but she won’t let her mental state affect her performance tonight. She can’t decide if she wants hug them or RIP OUT THEIR…YEAH! The match is next.

• DB debuted and retired his homeless Vietnam vet gear at this show. It’s not bad, but was quickly abandoned. Cole puts Punk’s reign which was “only” 238 days at this point. Punk and DB try currying favor with the ref as she raises the belt. King: “I can read women… I prefer the Braille edition, but I’m just watching AJ’s face and I’m getting a little idea of who she really, well, favors in this match, if you know what I mean?… [In reference to Bryan] It’s not him. I mean… it is him. You didn’t see the smile she gave him.”

• DB tries the kicks early but Punk blocks for a DSLW and kicks of his own. Punk dumps him out as the crew concentrates on what’s really important… AJ LEE! Punk goes to the chops and sends DB into the apron. DB counters a whip and comes back with one of his own and some chops. Back in, DB drops a knee and starts going to school on Punk’s arm. Dragon with a few kicks, so Punk rolls him up for 1. Punk comes back with MT knees as Book talks about Punk and DB working their way up through the “indies.” DB mounts in the corner fishhooking Punk’s nose just to be a dick. They trade chops as we’re still feeling out. Now, they switch to kicks and Punk wins the exchanges with a Euro uppercut. Punk hits a Black Hart backbreaker and heads up top. He tries a leg drop but comes up dry. DB with more kicks. King: “There’s not enough makeup in the world to cover up crazy.” The crew just will not shut up about AJ and her storyline. Bryan goes back to the fishhook. DB blows over Punk with a shoulderblock but runs into a dropkick. DB bails out and Punk chases him down with a suicide dive. Punk revels in the front row cheers. CMPUNKCMPUNKCMPUNK! They brawl to the aisle where Punk blocks a suplex and hangs DB out to dry on the rail. Punk slides DB in and DB shoves in retaliation and of course AJ gets bumped. Punk checks on her while Cole speculates that Punk did it intentionally. DB pounces and whips Punk into the stairs. Not for the belt, mind you, but for the right to check on AJ first. CHIVALRY LIVES… or something.

• Medics help AJ to the back while another ref takes over. DB hits the BUSAIKU knee off the apron. He gordbusts Punk on the stairs as the crowd fires up the dueling chants. DB with a hard whip but Punk recovers to backdrop DB into the timekeeper’s area. Punk crotches him on the barricade and follows with a Nigel-line back to ringside. The crowd now wants tables and like any pandering WWE face, he obliges. DB comes back and slams Punk down. DB breaks out the Kendo stick but whiffs on a waffle. Punk uses his speed to stay away but still sells the ribs nicely. DB keeps him at bay with a short shot to the breadbasket. Punk cuts him off, so DB cuts him back off. After a few more reversals in the corner, Punk tries a springboard clothesline but DB counters with a cane shot to the injured ribs. Good sequence and it makes sense because that springboard clothesline is a regular move in Punk’s arsenal, not just some ridiculous setup for a counter. DB covers for 1, 2, only 2. MOARDUELINGCHANTS! DB follows up with another dozen or so cane waffles. YESYESYESYESYES! DB covers for another nearfall. He goes back to work in the corner chopping down Punk with kicks to the injured ribs. Snap suplex and DB heads up top. He goes for the diving headbutt but Punk rolls out of the way. They fire up for a forearm way but Punk wins that. He hits the leg lariat, neckbreaker swing for 1, 2, 2 ½. Step up knee and he wants the bulldog but DB shoves him off. Punk catches him with a powerslam coming back for 1, 2, nearfall. Punk calls for the G2S but DB counters for the armbar. Punk sends him back off. G2S! NO! RANA FROM DB! 1, 2, NO! Enzuigiri and double KO. Another good sequence. DB up first and goes back to the Kendo stick. He blasts Punk to the ribs and hooks in the Mexican surfboard. Punk escapes out and lunges for the cane and GETS IT!

• He BLASTS Dragon. Book: “THIS CALLED GETTIN’ A WHOOPIN’!” Punk hooks the leg for 1, 2, 2.7. Punk heads up top but DB cuts him off after taking several cane shots for the relative no sell. Dragon with a superplex and double KO spot. Surprisingly, no count from the ref. BUT WAIT! AJ IS BACK! She ejects the other ref, because storyline! AJ skips around and goes under the ring for a chair. King: “Can you guys figure this out because I can’t?” Punk and DB both call for the chair but instead, AJ dumps it between them to watch them fight for her. They both scramble for the chair and DB wins. He busts Punk to the ribs and a few more to the back. He covers for 1, 2, 2.99. AJ is clearly on DB’s side. DB argues the count and his domestic abuse tendencies kick back in. He tries to fight them, so Punk school boys him for 1, 2, no. DB kicks Punk more and tells AJ that he’s doing it for her. DB fires up to boos as he wants the IED but Punk comes back with a clothesline. Punk gets the chair and hits DB in kind. He wedges the chair in the corner but AJ obstructs his path to boos. Punk’s all I DIG CRAZY CHICKS, and DB comes back by dropkicking Punk into the chair in the confusion. AJ still clearly on Bryan’s side. DB tries to get the cane but AJ blocks. OK, she’s on Punk’s side. Book: “I’m tellin’ ya. I just think AJ is totally WACKED OUT!” That’s also a possibility. Punk retaliates with an enzuigiri and a chair-assisted bodyslam. He’s PISSED. He heads up top for a Macho elbow but DB moves and Punk eats CHAIR! Cool spot. DB applies the No Lock and uses the Kendo stick as well. AJ looks on adoringly. Punk counters and then catapults DB into the ringpost. G2S! Cover gets 1, 2, kickout. Punk gives her the stink-eye, then brings in the table and sets up DB. Punk heads up for the Macho elbow but DB crotches him. Punk counters to crotch him, but the camera is busy looking at AJ, so we miss it. Not cool. Punk finishes DB off with a super back suplex for 1, 2, 3 to retain at 27:50.

• Here’s the layout. 5 minutes of feeling out with the commentary crew constantly talking about AJ; middle 10 minutes of a good wrestling match; final 10 minutes of slow brawling, telegraphed spots, inconsistent allegiances, and AJ!~! If you dump AJ and let these guys do their thing, it’s a classic like at Over the Edge. Even though neither guy is a hardcore specialist (although Punk’s had some crazy matches with Raven and DB with Morishima that say otherwise), they could still have an awesome no DQ match if they were allowed to. But AJ’s front and center for all the parts of the match that “matter” and that was a misstep. Pretty rare that a very good match is disappointing and yet, it is. ***1/2

• 2-on-1 Handicap Match: Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks vs. Ryback. This was made because Ryback was on a jobber rampage including several handicap matches. Ryback’s music is lacking lyrics at this point, which makes a big difference as evidenced by this video.

• King: “Does he eat steak with a spoon? Is he really that strong?”
Cole: “He jump ropes 2000 times a days to stay in cardio shape. He swings a 100 lb. sledgehammer to strike a tractor trailer for strength. And he takes a boxing class once a week for hand-eye coordination.”

• This must have been his off week.

• Big Goldberg chant to start. He throws Hawkins down into the mat out of the lockup. Hawkins grabs a headlock but quickly gets flapjacked down into a BOOT OF FEAR! They try to cut him off at the pass with a blind tag to Reks. Reks with a Stun Gun and a clothesline. He covers but gets no count before Ryback kicks out. Reks puts the boots to him and tags in Hawkins. They work a few quick counts and Reks slams Hawkins onto Ryback. Cover gets only a 1 count. Double gordbuster gets another 1 count. Ryback fights back with a powerslam and a few shoulderblocks. Another backdrop and a spinebuster draws more Goldberg chants. Ryback with the Karelin powerbomb and dumps out Hawkins. Meathook and Shell Shock on Reks. It’s over at 4:22. Got the point across. *

• 6 Diva Tag Match: Layla, Kaitlyn, & Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix, Natalya, & Eve. Natayla and Tamina start. Natalya with a shoulderblock and she poses. Tamina leap frogs and hip tosses her down and goes to the Steamboat chops. She tags in Kaitlyn for a backbreaker. Cover gets 1. Natayla retreats and tags in Beth. Beth and Kaitlyn smack it out and Kaitlyn wins that one. Eve tags in now and Kailtyn crossbody’s her for 1, 2, only 2. Even gets the elbow up in the corner and hits a second rope dropkick for only 1. Eve goes to a facelock and tags in Beth as Cole speculates that King and Book are jealous of Cena because Eve hasn’t hit on them yet. Beth tries a Bossman attack but whiffs. Layla tags in for some burritos and a spinkick combo. Double jump crossbody gets 1, 2, only 2. Layla goes for a roundhouse but Beth ducks and wants a press slams. Layla counters down her back for a roll up for 1, 2, broken up. IT’S A DONNYBROOK HERE ON NITRO~! Book: “DON’T DO IT LIKE THIS, BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Beth and Tamina left. Tamina hits a superkick and Layla follows with a neckbreaker for 1, 2, 3 to win at 3:25. King: “Hang on. Lemme get my camera phone working here…. [Divas pose]… WOO! YEAH! YEA-AHHHH!” Cole: “We should send out a Tout of your reaction.” Competent but not given enough time to develop into much. *

• Money in the Bank Match for the WWE Championship: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Big Show vs. John Cena. Cole puts over how Kane has been in a record six MITB matches including winning 2 years ago and cashing in the same night on Rey Mysterio. Cole handling the heavy lifting obviously as he continues to say that Jericho was in the first MITB all the way back in 2005 and that he kayfabe invented the match. Also, back in 2010, Miz won this very match and would cash in on Randy Orton a few months later. The only storyline of note is Cena saying that he has to once and all rid WWE of Ironclad Contract Show even though he slayed him at WWE No Way Out 2012 in a cage match. Cole recounts Cena’s length history of winning first time ever matches – his first PPV match, his first WM match, his first I Q uit match, his first EC match, his first TLC match, etc. Good stuff all around from Cole in the lead-in.

• Kane and Show control the works early and clear the ring. Cena fights back on Show as Kane peels off with Jericho to the floor. Cena clotheslines Show to the floor, but Show quickly counters and sends him into the stairs. Jericho tries to drop a ladder on Kane but Show cuts him off. In the meantime, Miz is setting up a ladder. BUTTHERE’SJOHNCENA! He pulls Miz down but Show is in to mow both down. He knocks Jericho off the apron as well. Show gets the ladder and drops it on Jericho. That looked brutal. Cena tries to fire up but Show no sells. Now, it’s the big men going toe-to-toe as Show and Kane slug it out. Kane wants a DDT but Show slams him down. Miz tries flying in but gets swatted away like a fly. Jericho tries a ladder charge but again Show no sells. The crowd boos because Show is the only one standing. Show raises the goozle but Jericho counters with a Codebreaker. Miz hits his DDT and Kane hits the FOOT TO THE FACE! Show stumbles to the floor and lands right next to Cena. Book: “You want to get this monster OUTTA THE WAY, DAWG!” Cena preps the announce table and of course FU’s Show to take him out of commission. Then everyone begins burying Show under a mess of ladders. Show legitimately has about 10 ladders on top of him. That’s cool and all, but this EXACT spot was used back in 2010, the match that Miz won. Of course, that won’t be the only thing stolen from that match, but we’ll get to that later. ANYWAY, in the meantime, Jericho gets a giant ladder and pretends to stack it on the pile but instead RAMS IT LIKE A JOUST INTO KANE’S FACE! ANOTHER WAFFLE FOR MIZ! THAT was cool. Y2JY2JY2JY2J! Jericho stands up a ladder and starts the climb, but Miz gets him in the Electric Chair position. Jericho rolls through for the old school LIONTAMER!

• Kane tries coming in with a ladder but gets it baseball slid back into him. Y2JY2JY2JY2J! Snap suplex on Miz and Jericho gets another ladder. Cena tries to get up but again gets knocked to the floor. They’ve done a great job so far of occupying all of the wrestlers logically and not having the seams showing with guys noticeably wasting time and stalling. Still, the crowd is more interested in dueling Cena chants even as Miz gets whipped into a ladder in the corner. Book goes on the record to pick Jericho as Cena cuts off his climb and smashes him into the ladder. Cena is alone at the top as usual but Miz pulls him down for a DDT. Miz climbs up and gets his hands on the briefcase but Kane THROWS A LADDER AT HIM! THE BIG RED MACHINE IS CLIMBING! Jericho is up but Kane goozles him and more of the same for Miz. Instead, they counter to a double suplex ON A LADDER! Sensing losing the flow of the match, Cena sneaks in for his shoulderblocks and slams Miz on the ladder. He does the same to Jericho and hits the stereo 5KS but Kane is in to cut him off. NO! FU TO KANE! Jericho has HAD IT and rolls out to get a ladder and waffle Cena in a vicious spot. Miz bails out and Jericho drops a ladder on him too. Jericho sets up the ladder BUT WAIT! A VOLCANO IS ERUPTING OUT OF THE MOUNTAIN OF STEEL! IT’S THE BIG SHOW! Show starts ripping the ladder apart with his bare hands. These two have come a long way from teaming up to almost beat DX in a similar match at TLC 2009 by trying the Andre-Snuka spot. Show sandwiches Jericho in a ladder and then begins pulverizing everything and everyone in sight. He throws a ladder on Kane and chops Miz into next week. Show drops a few ladders on Miz for good measure. Show wedges Cena under a ladder and then hits the Runaway Samoan Semi on him. Another couple of dangerous ladder drops on Miz. Show goes under the ring for his infamous specially-constructed gold ladder also from MITB 2010. You can see the ladder already in the match here while they are doing the ladder burial.

• Show rolls in his ladder UNDER the ropes having learned last time that OVER the ropes is a losing proposition for him. Show starts the slow climb. Cole: “THE SLOW CLIMB TO IMMORTALITY!” Kane is up with him and they slug it out. They go for the patented double goozle but Show wins with the WMDKO. Cena is up to eats a big headbutt that sends him reeling. Jericho’s got a chair and waffles Show to the liver a couple times. Jericho and Cena both slowly recover for the climb. They both clumsily shove it back and forth. Cena gets Jericho in the fireman’s carry but Jericho counters to a SLEEPER! Miz has been laid out for about 10 minutes now from a few ladder shots. Cena no sells the Sleeper to keep climbing. On cue, there’s Miz “sneaking in the back door” according to Cole or trying to win the match in regular parlance. He gets disposed of by Jericho anyway. Cena FINALLY eats it to the floor from the Sleeper. Jericho’s right there on the briefcase but THERE’S MIZ! They both grab it but can’t get it loose. Jericho hangs on and swings off the ladder still holding the briefcase. Miz catches him and preps a suplex but Jericho fights him off. SHOW IS UP! Jericho realizes his life may be over in a terrific character moment for both guys. Show of course cold-cocks him and trashes Miz to the floor. Cena fires up to climb faster than anyone in the match. He waffles Show with the case and holds on while the handle breaks to win it at 20:09.

• No death-defying spots and all of the best spots and reveals from stolen/borrowed from MITB 2010. You could pull the, “they worked the first time, so in kayfabe, the characters would logically try them again”; but that still doesn’t erase the reality that they’re reusing two identical spots for the same match in four years. Hell, the best sequence all night in the MITB matches was Sandow-Christian in the first one. The only factors this match has over the first are starpower and activity – everyone was doing something the entire match as opposed to the first with a severe lack of ringside violence and busyness. Still, I had way more fun the first go-round. ****

The 411: Four ***1/2+ matches and a couple flirting with MOTYC status. Strong recommendation if only for the title matches and MITB matches.
Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]