100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Aniversario – Never Compromise

Philadelphia, PA – 6.2.2013

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Eddie Kingston
Campeones de Parejas: 3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews)
Young Lions Cup Champion: “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti

Commentary is provided by Leonard F. Chikarason, Gavin Loudspeaker, Bryce Remsburg, Wink Vavasseur & Dasher Hatfield.

Pre-Show Match; Young Lions Cup
“Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti vs. Saturyne

Dasher Hatfield is in Angelosetti’s corner. Saturyne delivers a dropkick right at the bell. Angelosetti swipes off a second one and throws some kicks. He shoulder tackles her in the corner. Saturyne responds with a toreador and an armdrag off the shoulders. Saturyne flips in from the ropes and tries a sunset flip. Angelosetti rolls through but goes to the floor when Saturyne evades a dive. She headscissors Angelosetti back to the floor when he comes back in the ring and then follows with a high crossbody. She goes for another crossbody in the ring. Angelosetti catches and slams her. He gives her a backbreaker and a gut buster. He stomps Saturyne in the mid-section for two. He throws her across the ring by her hair. He slams her onto her stomach for another two count. He tries again but Saturyne lays in a flurry of strikes and kicks. Angelosetti pops her up and drops her onto her stomach. After a few splashes Angelosetti strikes the Tebow pose. He tries another splash but Saturyne gets her knees up. She throws some more kicks before landing a quesadora bulldog. She throws some axe kicks. Angelosetti catches one but Saturyne gives him a Frankensteiner for two. She sends him face first into the turnbuckles before busting out her moonsault press for two. Angelosetti gives her a couple shoulder blocks. Saturyne throws a spin kick to the chin. Angelosetti catches her on the apron and superplexes her back into the ring! Angelosetti climbs the ropes. Saturyne is able to crotch him. She pulls off a second rope Frankensteiner! Angelosetti rolls through and gets the pin at 9:10. This is the type of pre-show match that would have convinced me to order the iPPV. Saturyne came off as a credible competitor and looked stronger than she ever has before. Angelosetti is simply extraordinary and had another terrific title defense. This was really fun. ***

The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked & Frightmare) vs. The Colony: Xtreme Force (Arctic Rescue Ant, Missile Assault Ant & Orbit Adventure Ant)

All six men begin to fight after a staredown. Frightmare and Hallowicked give Missile and Orbit stereo step-up enzuigiri’s. They also give Arctic a Sidewinder. Mantis follows up with a full nelson slam for two. Hallowicked tosses Orbit into a chest kick from Frightmare. Mantis gives him a full nelson slam as well. Hallowicked super snapmares Missile. Mantis gives him a reverse Perfect neck snap and Frightmare Swanton bombs onto him. Mantis and Hallowicked suicide dive onto Arctic and Orbit. Frightmare dives out onto everyone. He gets in a slap battle with Missile. Orbit knees him from the apron. Missile gives him a Buckle Bomb. Orbit clears the other Envoy members off the apron, allowing the Colony: Xtreme Force to isolate Frightmare. They even go after his mask. Hallowicked jumps in to save his buddy but gets caught in the same isolated predicament. Mantis suffers the same fate. Mantis escapes a triple team attempt and German suplexes Arctic onto his stomach. Frightmare cleans house. He drops Missile with a crucifix bomb and gives Arctic the Here It Is Driver. Orbit breaks the cover. Hallowicked boots him in the face. Mantis gives him a spinebuster before setting him up for the Catacombs of Abbadon. Frightmare and Hallowicked each get in an attack. Hallowicked locks on the CHIKARA Special. Orbit taps at 9:35. You got to love that the Envoy defeated the “2011 King of Trios” the same way they won the 2012 tournament. This was a nice feud and exciting match to kick off the show proper. Everybody looked good and the sequences were all pulled off without error. Can’t ask for much more out of this match. ***

Dasher Hatfield vs. Delirious

They exchange right hands to start. Delirious knees Hatfield in the stomach and throws him into the corner. Hatfield O’Conner rolls him out of the corner, hoping to repeat the success from the season premiere. Delirious kicks out and rolls to the floor. Delirious shoulder blocks Hatfield and throws his vest onto him. Hatfield trips Delirious and gives him an exploder suplex. Hatfield throws some shots to his stomach. Hatfield sends Delirious to the corner. He gets in some punches in the corner. Delirious drops Hatfield onto the ropes and drives his head into his stomach. Hatfield tries a schoolboy. Delirious kicks out and knees him in the stomach. He chops Hatfield in the corner. Hatfield low bridges the top rope to bring Delirious to the floor. He tries a double axe handle but Delirious catches him with a punch to the stomach. The same thing happens back in the ring. He does some more damage to Hatfield’s stomach before hitting the Panic Attack twice. When he goes for it a third time, Hatfield drives him back first into the corner. He pulls off a Jackhammer but grabs his stomach in pain. He baseball slides Delirious into the guardrails then suicide dives after him. Delirious however gets on an abdominal stretch when they get back into the ring. Hatfield spins him around in a chinlock and drops him in a neckbreaker. Kobald sneaks into the ring to spear Hatfield behind referee Dan Yost’s back. Delirious hits Shadows Over Heck for the pin at 12:24. You know, you don’t have to have Yost look incompetent in EVERY Batiri match. I thought the action and Delirious’ work on Hatfield’s mid-section were both really good. I’m just so tired of finishes like this in most every Batiri match. What good do they do anybody? **¾

The Colony (Fire Ant, Green Ant & assailANT) vs. The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster, Blaster McMassive & Flex Rumblecrunch)

Sidney Bakabella is in the Corporation’s corner. As expected, an all out brawl kicks things off. McMassive sends assailANT into the entrance stage. Smashmaster slams press slams Fire Ant from the stage onto assailANT and Green Ant! Smashmaster splashes onto assailANT back in the ring. assailANT comes back with some chops. Green Ant takes him down with a top rope dropkick. Rumblecrunch drops him with a spinebuster and stomps him down in the corner. McMassive gives him a clothesline. Smashmaster gets in some strikes. Green Ant throws some kicks which eventually send Smashmaster to the floor. He antzuigiri’s McMassive from the apron where assailANT back splashes him. Bakabella grabs assailANT’s leg. McMassive gives him a Boss Man Slam and Green Ant breaks the pin with a chest kick. He tries rolling up Smashmaster’s shoulders and ends up taking a piledriver. Rumblecrunch walks the ropes and gives assailANT a shoulder tackle. Fire Ant reemerges with a crossbody to Rumblecrunch and a dropkick to Smashmaster. Rumblecrunch assists McMassive with a powerbomb. Smashmaster sentons onto Fire Ant right after for two. Fire Ant Burns Down the House on Smashmaster. He sends Rumblecrunch out and uses Smashmaster to give McMassive a DDT. assailANT dives onto all three Corporation members who have retreated to the floor. Green Ant managed to sneak up onto the balcony during the previous melee. He jumps off onto the Corporation! The Colony give McMassive the Ants Marching dropkick and Rumblecrunch a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo. They Antapult Fire Ant onto Smashmaster! assailANT and Green Ant then suicide dive onto McMassive and Rumblecrunch simultaneously. Smashmaster and Rumblecrunch prevent the Ant Hill from being built on the top rope. Bakabella shoves Green Ant off the top rope. He does however kick McMassive from the ground. He goes for the cloverleaf until Bakabella jumps onto the apron. Green Ant superkicks him to the floor! Green Ant throws lariats at McMassive, superkicks him in the back of the head, then delivers a German suplex. He locks on the cloverleaf and gets the submission victory at 12:42. This has to be considered the sleeper match of the show. I loved the brawl they had a Tag World but for whatever reason expected a more typical trios match here. Instead they broke the mold and had a knock down drag out fight. It was incredibly unique and very well put together. Easily the best match the Corporation has had and a very bright spot for the “new” Colony. ***½

Sarcophagus Match
Amasis vs. Ophidian

The rules of this match are just like a casket match. The sarcophagus is located on the stage. Amasis and Ophidian are on their toes, evading each other’s offense until Amasis stops the Duat Driver with a German suplex. He hits That Move I Beat Moses With and dumps Ophidian onto the stage. Ophidian uses his knee to drive Amasis’ head into the canvas. Amasis throws a barrage of knees himself, as well as elbows to the neck and head. Ophidian blocks a rolling elbow and stomps Amasis’ shoulder into the mat. When he resists being brought to the Sarcophagus, Ophidian does more damage to Amasis’ arm and shoulders. Amasis throws a leg lariat and a Pele kick. Ophidian blocks a superkick and twists up Amasis’ leg. He dumps Amasis onto the entrance ramp. Each guy gets one another into the sarcophagus but can’t get the lid closed. Back in the ring Amasis pulls off a spinebuster. His high crossbody causes damage to his knee. Ophidian German suplexes him and rolls into a powerbomb. He wisely does more damage to Ophidian’s knee. He pulls off the Duat Driver. When Amasis begins to recover in the corner, Ophidian drives his knees into his chest. It ends up hurting Ophidian’s own knee. Amasis gives him a Death Valley Driver on the ring apron! He follows up with a 450 splash. Ophidian puts on a choke hold leaving Amasis’ short of breath. He drops Amasis onto his head with a spinning reverse DDT. He tosses Amasis into the sarcophagus. He fights out and throws Ophidian back into the ring. After snapping Ophidian’s neck on the top rope he misses a high crossbody. Ophidian throws multiple kicks. Amasis hits That Move I Beat Moses With again. Ophidian ducks a tornado kick and puts on a modified STF. With Amasis more worn down, Ophidian tries for an Egyptian Destroyer onto the lid of the sarcophagus. Amasis tries fighting back but Ophidian gives him a low blow. Ophidian then successfully pulls off the Destroyer! Kobald is brought out to drag Amasis from the floor where he fell after the Destroyer. Kobald sets up for a spear in the ring but ends up nailing Ophidian with it. Kobald drags Amasis up the stage. He tries to place him into the sarcophagus. Amasis back body drops Kobald onto the ramp to stop him. By the time Amasis makes his way back to the ring, Ophidian has recovered. He hypnotizes Amasis. He uses that mental control to compel Amasis to put himself in the sarcophagus! The lid is almost completely on when Amasis’ hands reach up to stop it. He comes out and throws punches. Ophidian’s tone changes and he pleads with Amasis to kill him. Amasis takes off his mask to reveal a gold Amasis mask underneath! Amasis dumps him into the sarcophagus and closes the lid for the win at 31:50. I thought they did a lot of really interesting storyline stuff and produced some interesting moments but having this go 30 plus minutes was a mistake. It caused for some needlessly dragged out moments and the crowd to become impatient. The ending was also really strange; Ophidian went from wanting to kill Amasis to admitting defeat because his hypnosis didn’t work? If that was his master plan, how come he didn’t try that in the beginning? Although I enjoyed this by and large there were certainly things I would have changed. If nothing else, it ultimately yielded the result most fans wanted; an Osirian Portal reunion. ***¼

Lucha de Apuesta; Hair vs. Hair
Gavin Loudspeaker vs. Tim Donst

Jakob Hammermeier, Veronica Ticklefeather, and Steve “The Turtle” Weiner are in Donst’s corner. Gavin is in black trunks, kick pads, knee/elbow pads, and studded gauntlets. Donst shoves Hammermeier off the apron. Loudspeaker schoolboys him for two. He tries a Stone Cold Stunner but is unable to take Donst down. He slaps Donst in the face and pulls off a Frankensteiner! Donst looks stunned and responds with a lariat. He chokes Loudspeaker on the middle rope. Donst throws some strikes before hitting the ropes and sending Loudspeaker into the mat. Veronica hands Donst her baton. Donst snaps it half and throws it at her. Donst throws Turtle into Loudspeaker on the floor. He cuts off some of Loudspeaker’s speakers hair and chomps on it. Loudspeaker gets his boot up to block Donst’s attack and jumps on his back to try for a sleeper hold. Donst backs him into the corner to escape. Loudspeaker puts on the Rings of Saturyne! Donst spins him out into a backbreaker. Donst pulls Loudspeaker off the apron to stop a pin. Turtle gets on the apron and Donst knocks him down. While Bryce checks on him, Jakob enters the ring. Donst begins screaming at Jakob, causing Jakob to deck him with a haymaker! Jakob then disappears through the crowd. A few minutes later, Loudspeaker makes his way up the ropes and superplexes Donst for the win at 10:20. It took me out of the match to believe Hammermeier’s haymaker had Donst dazed for THAT long. It was a little unbelievable. That being said, Loudspeaker looked amazing for this being his only match. He was so smooth and precise and should be really impressed with his performance. The crowd really bought into the story which honestly made the match because obviously the wrestling itself was kept very basic for the most part. **½

Veronica gives Donst a slap in the face. Bryce does the honors of cutting Donst’s hair. When he picks up the razor, Donst decides to finish the job himself. He seems far less devastated about losing his hair this time as opposed to exactly one year ago.

While things are getting cleaned up, Derek Sabato comes out to the ring. He explains that he was fired by Wink Vavasseur for getting “too close to the truth.” Sabato says he got a phone call from someone who he had not spoken to in awhile who was also fired by Wink for the same reason. Sabato pulls out a file that has information about Wink, his father, and the Titor Conglomerate that runs CHIKARA. Sabato tweets out a picture of those in position of power at Titor:

Pictured (l to r): Kirk Walters, James Miller, Martin Woods, Conrad Vavasseur

We then see Wink Vavasseur on his cell phone frantically talking to somebody while also getting the referees to boot Sabato out of the building. Sabato leaves in peace as the damage has already been done.

Campeonatos de Parejas
3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) vs. The Pieces of Hate (Jigsaw & The Shard)

The Pieces of Hate got this shot by winning the Tag World Grand Prix tournament two weeks prior. Jagged and Jigsaw start. Jagged wins their exchange with a leg lariat. He catches Shard with a hip toss and tags in Matthews. He armdrags Shard and tags Jagged back in. He delivers a back elbow for two. 3.0 double team both Jigsaw and The Shard. Shard slams Jagged onto Matthews’ back to stop his elbow drop. 3.0 try for a Sweet Taste of Professionalism on Shard. Jigsaw superkicks Jagged and enzuigiri’s Matthews allowing Shard to victory roll Matthews and pick up the first fall at 3:48. As soon as the count is made, the Shard puts Matthews’ in an ankle lock as Jigsaw kicks Jagged to the floor. Shard has to release so there can be a short rest period. Matthews throws some forearms to Jigsaw. Jigsaw sends him to the floor. He kicks Jagged as he comes in. Shard puts Matthews in an ankle lock on the stage before throwing him back to Jigsaw. The Pieces of Hate further wear down Matthews’ leg. He manages to give both of them his patented headscissors. Jigsaw trips Jagged off the apron to stop a tag from happening. Moments later Matthews is able to powerbomb the Shard. Jigsaw tries attacking Jagged but Jagged backdrops him to the floor. He tags in and gives Shard a jawbreaker/enzuigiri combo. A flying forearm sends Jigsaw to the corner. He gives Jigsaw a rolling neckbreaker for two. Shard gives Jagged a dropkick in the corner. Matthews grabs him in a waistlock. Jagged comes off the second rope with the Sweet Taste of Professionalism, giving 3.0 a pin at 13:50 and tying up the match at one fall a piece. Jagged throws some forearms at Jigsaw. Jigsaw fails when attempting a superplex. Shard double stomps Jagged in a tree of woe! Jigsaw then gives him a coast-to-coast dropkick! Matthews breaks the pin. Shard gives Jagged a running waterwheel slam into the corner. Jigsaw follow up with the Jig N’ Tonic. Jagged kicks out! Jigsaw goes to superkick Matthews on the apron. Matthews blocks and gives him a uranage onto the ring frame. He puts Shard in the Boston Crab. Jagged stops Jigsaw from breaking the hold initially. When Jigsaw charges again, Matthews releases the hold and spears him. He picks up the Shard onto his shoulders but his leg gives out when Jigsaw kicks it. He dropkicks Jagged to the floor while Shard puts Matthews in an ankle lock. Jigsaw superkicks Matthews when he almost makes it to the ropes. Shard grapevines the leg. Matthews’ arm drops three times, giving the Pieces of Hate the third fall and the titles at 17:14. As usual, both teams did a tremendous job. The work on Matthews’ knee was exceptional, the falls came at the right time and resulted in genuine reactions from the crowd. The Pieces of Hate more than deserve the belts and I am happy that 3.0 got a real reign in the end. ***¾

CHIKARA Grand Championship
Eddie Kingston vs. Icarus

Icarus is wearing an outfit obviously inspired by Marty Jannetty is his post-Rockers run. There’s a chair marked “M. Jannetty” ringside since Icarus invited him to be in his corner. Jannetty however is not here. Kingston controls Icaurs in the early going. Icarus comes back with a headscissors and a spear. Kingston catches him with a uranage backbreaker. Icarus elbows Kingston in the corner. He gives Kingston a Diamond Dust, sending Kingston to the floor. Icarus goes for a dive and is caught with a forearm. Kingston does some more damage on the apron before giving Icarus an STO back in the ring for two. He whips Icarus back first to the corner and stomps on his back for another two count. Kingston lights him up with chops against the ropes. Kingston tries an Irish whip and Icarus counters it with the Wings of Icarus! The Shiranui follows but Icarus’ back is to hurt to go for a cover right away. He throws his own chops and huracanrana’s Kingston for two. He also gets two with a German suplex, doing more damage to his back. This allows Kingston to throw a couple short-arm lariats. He goes for an American D. Icarus picks him up and delivers the Blu-Ray. Kingston grabs the bottom rope to stop the count. Kingston nails an enzuigiri and powerbomb for two. A tiger suplex has the same result. He misses a yakuza kick. Icarus goes for a second Pedigree and gets backdropped to the floor. Kingston shoves Icarus into Bryce by accident as they stand on the entrance ramp. Kingston backfists Icarus twice. He grabs the “M. Jannetty” chair from the crowd and brings it into the ring. He hits Icarus across the back with it which only fires Icarus up. Kingston’s American D is only good for two, possibly due to Bryce taking his time to come in and count. Fed up, Kingston drops Icarus with a Saito suplex. Once again Icarus kicks out at two. Icarus ducks the Backfist to the Future twice and headscissors Kingston into the CHIKARA Special Out of nowhere, Condor Security hits the ring and breaks up the hold. This ends the match in a No Contest at 19:18.

Condor Security clears the ring of both participants and Bryce. Wink Vavasseur stands on the stage saying that the show is over. Condor Security tells the fans to leave while other members tear down the entrance set. On commentary, you hear Leonard F. Chikarason faintly mention that he saw Archibald Peck. Then, the show fades to black.

First and foremost the match itself was excellent. They switched the dynamic of Icarus being the Tecnico and Kingston being the Rudo flawlessly. The crowd played along, and they way they worked the match made complete sense in terms of how their characters were being portrayed. The ending however was very unsatisfying. If this is in fact the last match in CHIKARA history, the fans deserved a finish. Heck, even if CHIKARA does return one day a finish should have been put in place. There was a lot of criticism (well deserved) coming from fans about the way the iPPV went off the air and I honestly think having an actual ending would have changed a lot of people’s attitudes. Nevertheless, knowing it was coming made me appreciate the work put in before it and allowed me to accept the match for what it was. ***½

The 411: If this in fact the final CHIKARA show, I’d say they went out with a bang. This was one of the most solid shows they have had in a very long time with most matches overdelivering. The ending itself is going to be extremely polarizing, but strictly from the quality of the matches and from a historical standpoint I can say this is definitely a show worth checking out. You can purchase the show on DVD, Blu-Ray, mp4, or steam it On Demand over at Smart Mark Video. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews at my CHIKARA blog; "The CHIKARA Special." In addition to that, you can check out a lot of promos from CHIKARA DVDs over at the CHIKARA Special YouTube Page. Be sure to follow me on Twitter as well!

Final Score:  8.3   [ Very Good ]