The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (3.17.84)
Posted by Adam Nedeff on 09.01.2013
Ten-year-olds in an all-out shoot!
-Originally aired March 17, 1984.
-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Gene Okerlund.
WILD SAMOANS (with Captain Lou Albano) vs STEVE LOMBARDI & SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES
-It's just Afa and Sika this week. SD trips up Ada and the jobbers manage to work the leg. Afa misses a headbutt and crashes on the mat, but he connects with a punch that dazes Lombardi. Sika tags in and chokes away. Sika's headbutt connects, and the Samoan drop finishes.
“Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF (with Rowdy Roddy Piper) vs ANGELO GOMEZ
-Orndorff starts with a quick takedown and won't let go, keeping Gomez on the mat and yelling “Come on Hogan!” Crowd lets loose with a “Paula” chant and Orndorff is so distracted that Gomez is finally able to make the ropes and break the hold. Orndorff gets him back into the middle of the ring, applies a front facelock, and gets him back on the mat.
-Gene says that the jobber fits the mold of many of the great Puerto Rican athletes, and then Orndorff goes in for the kill with the piledriver. “When are they gonna bar this?” implores Gene.
-Move over, Dwight Eisenhower! Here comes Sgt. Slaughter! Vince shows clips from a few weeks back of Sarge reciting the Pledge of Allegiance with the fans. Vince notes that you can read about the feud between Sarge and Sheik in the new WWF Magazine. Vince's plug for the magazine notes that there's an article about the Von Erichs.
AMATEUR WRESTLING EXHIBITION
-The two competitors in this match, Ken and Paul, are about ten years old. Bob Backlund returns after about two months off to watch this match from ringside. Ken seems to control Paul pretty well until the referee sounds the whistle and flips a coin for the next part of the match. Ken assumes referee's position and Paul rides. Paul fucking SLAMS Ken and even the commentators seem a little surprised at the aggression there. Ken manages to get control again when the referee sounds the whistle again and restarts the match with Paul taking referee's position, while Vince commends Backlund for devoting so much time, effort, and money to supporting kids' athletics.
-Vince seems a little amazed that the match is still going, and there's a go-home signal if ever there was one, so the referee blows the whistle and stops the match without a winner, declaring the bout to be a draw. I'm getting pretty tired of Ken's shitty attitude about doing jobs.
-Gene Okerlund talks to Bob Backlund post-match. He presents the kids with plaques for having the courage to compete in front of a national audience. Gene notes that many people still consider Backlund to be the real champion. Wow, I wonder if Bob personally feels that way, and if so, perhaps he has an issue that he wants to take up with the guy currently holding the belt. Bob mentions that he gets fan mail telling him that he's still the true champion, and he'll be getting back in the ring next week. Man, the feud is THERE. The motivation (pure wrestling versus flash), the logic (Backlund feels entitled to the belt), the personality clash...this would have been an AWESOME feud. The funny thing is, it's actually probably for Hulk's better that they didn't do it, because I can see a good chunk of fans siding with Bob.
INVADERS vs TONY RUSSO & CHARLIE FULTON
-First time in a while that we've seen the Invaders. Invaders do a lot of flip & tumble stuff to annoy Russo. Fulton tags in and gets monkeyflipped off the ropes. Impressive finish has one Invader surfboard Charlie Fulton and fall backward with it so they're laying on the mat together, and then the other Invader comes off the top rope with a splash. Neat stuff, and it gets the win.
-Piper's guest is Andre the Giant. Piper and Andre had a private joke in the locker room where they would answer each other's questions with “None of your business.” Piper asks Andre where he's from here, and Andre answers “None of your business,” and you can actually see Piper hold in a smile. Piper asks about Big John Studd's claim that he once slammed Andre. Andre says it isn't true, then lifts Piper off the ground by his shirt, throws him down and walks off. Piper's reaction: “You do not throw rocks at a man with a machine gun.” This was actually the first time that anything bad happened to Roddy in his WWF run and the crowd absolutely lost it to finally see it happen.
GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (with Captain Lou Albano) vs. TONY GAREA
-Tony's alone, so maybe Brian Blair took the hint from Piper. Garea gets Valentine off the mat and goes after the leg, so he's smart, give him that. Valentine comes off the rope and Garea's ready with a drop toehold. Back in, Valentine gets pissed and gets a little offense going, but nearly falls victim to a sunset flip. Dropkick by Garea. He goes for a flying bodypress off the second rope and Valentine ducks, then drops a quick elbow to get three. Weird; that match was 90% Garea.
FRANK RUIZ vs BUTCHER VACHON
-Huh. Okay, then. Lots of stomping and slamming by the Butcher. Gene Okerlund reads viewer mail so he doesn't have to sit through this match. The fan marvels about Tony Atlas' physique and asks about how much time in the gym it requires to obtain such a physique, and thankfully, neither commentator has a cup of coffee up to their lips when they get to that question.
-Vachon gets the win, and for anybody wondering, his finisher is a stomp.
SALVATORE BELLOMO vs RON SHAW
-Man, we are REALLY limping to the finish line this week. Shaw gets the early upper hand but misses an elbow. Dropkick by Bellomo totally misses, but they go with it and Bellomo armdrags him around. Shaw shows some signs of life, and Bellomo does a completely absurd move, crossing his opponent's legs and then headbutting the inner thigh while Shaw lays there begging for mercy. Bodypress by Bellomo gets the win.
The 411: Well, they finally seem to be getting a sense of what to do with Piper's Pit. Other than that, another week where they seemed to be in a holding pattern. Nothing here that you needed to see.