The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (04.21.1984)
Posted by Adam Nedeff on 09.13.2013
Let's watch a video of Vince McMahon watching videos!
Originally aired April 21, 19—well, hold on a minute...
HULK HOGAN (World Champion) vs AFA (with Sika & Captain Lou Albano)
-So this was the previous week on All-Star Wrestling and it's the only thing posted from that show. Hulk powers Afa out of the ring. Back in, Afa hammers down the Hulkster with double axehandles. He goes for a backdrop and Hulk counters by kicking him down. Atomic drop and a slam by Hogan. Sika and Captain Lou head up to the apron and both of them get punched down to the floor. Legdrop finishes off Afa moments later.
-Okay, NOW let's do Championship Wrestling...
-Originally aired April 21, 1984.
-Your host is Vince McMahon, and instead of being in the arena this week, he's in the control room. Vince offers no reason for it other than that this is a special episode.
SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES vs RENE GOULET
-Joined in progress from Madison Square Garden. Vince says that this match could represent a turning point in either man's career.
-Side headlock by Goulet, but the Special One wiggles his way out of it. SD applies his own side headlock and has more success with that. Arm wringer by SD and Rene makes the ropes. And that routine just keeps going, with SD applying hold after hold and Rene going to the rope every time. Goulet starts to get aggressive and before you know it, he's stomping a mudhole in SD. Bearhug by Rene, and SD claps his hands to break it. At what point did every professional wrestler stand up as one and say “Wait a minute, that looks really stupid!” Because you see that all the fucking time in the mid-80s and then it just kind of vanished.
-Clawhold by Goulet as they pipe in some insane sounding fake heat for the match, sounding like it was recorded in a haunted house. That doesn't put SD away, but he tries again. SD gets to his feet and backdrops Goulet. They trade blows, but Goulet dodges a charge and loads his glove. Before he can do anything with the glove, SD connects with a headbutt, and that's enough to put away Rene Goulet, okay?
-Vince, wearing a different suit, looks at Tito Santana's devastating flying forearm.
HANDICAP MATCH: ANDRE THE GIANT vs DYANMITE JACK EVANS, JOHNNY RODZ, & JOE “Butcher” NOVA
-Going back several years for this match. Andre wipes his feet before entering the ring; I had no idea wrestlers were doing that way back then.
-Andre traps all three of them in the corner and rams them. For his next amazing trick, he tangles Nova in the ropes, applies legscissors on the other two simultaneously, lifts them in the air together, and monkeyflips them. Jobbers gang up on Andre and pile on top for an attempted pin, but Andre throws all three of them off.
-Rodz sneaks up on Andre, jumps up and applies a choke. Nova climbs the top rope to join his partner, and Andre thrusts forward and launches both of them off the top rope. Andre piles all three jobbers on top of each other, and then sits on the pile to get a three-count.
-Piper welcomes Tony Atlas & Rocky Johnson. Piper tells a really awkward joke about “famous blacks” and Rocky loses patience with him immediately. Piper says they aren't really champions because they just took advantage of a mistake by Lou Albano. Rocky says they earned the belts by outsmarting Albano and the Samoans. Rocky gets fed up and walks away. Tony says that he likes Roddy Piper because he wears the same tights as Mrs. Atlas, and they where the same perfume too.
COWBOY BOB ORTON vs JOSE LUIS RIVERA
-Orton grounds Rivera. Rivera bounces right back up and gets a NICE armdrag on Orton. Both men kneelift each other simultaneously, and Vince suspects that only Orton's was able to penetrate. Superplex finishes for Orton, with Rivera making it a point to kick out at exactly three.
HANDICAP MATCH: SGT. SLAUGHTER (with Pvt. Terry Daniels) vs MR. FUJI & TIGER CHUNG LEE
-We return to MSG for this one. Heels have to operate until normal tag team rules. Slaughter absolutely beats the shit out of Lee like the guy owes him money. Slaughter gets caught in the corner and gets ganged up on. Slaughter gets out and snapmares Chunger. Fuji tags in, does some stuff, and tags out. Lee heads back in and gets Flair-slammed. Fuji darts back in and gets knocked out to the floor, and then Slaughter calls it a night with the cobra clutch.
The 411: Weird week, obviously, with no storyline development, but at least a watchable show. The two handicap matches were pretty fun and again, Piper's Pit was noticeably longer and getting better for it.