The Name on the Marquee: WWF TV (06.09.1984)
Posted by Adam Nedeff on 09.28.2013
The Body wasn't here and now is, Sgt. Slaughter isn't here but then he is, and Cyndi Lauper isn't here but will be.
-Originally aired June 9, 1984.
-Your host is Gene Okerlund. No mention is made of Vince at all, but if you're wondering, this would be around the time that Vince Sr. died.
TONY GAREA vs “Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF
-Once the match gets rolling, Gene is joined on commentary by Lord Alfred Hayes. If you ever get a chance, go on YouTube and listen to Lord Al cutting promos in his wrestling/managing days, and it's just amazing how GOOD he was on the mic. Mic skills and commentary skills are two shockingly different things and you wouldn't think that.
-Paul stalls for a good while before finally going to the mat. Drop toehold by Orndorff is turned into a hammerlock by Garea. Orndorff tries a takedown, but Garea applies headscissors on impact. Orndorff powers out, but Garea immediately hits an atomic drop for two. Armbar by Garea. Orndorff gets free and misses an elbow. Fisticuffs follow and Garea connects with a series of dropkicks. They dual for an inside cradle, and Orndorff wins that battle and gets the three-count in rather abrupt fashion.
-Through the miracle of taping a whole bunch of Updates in a single stretch, Vince is here for the Update. This week, we look at Tito Santana, who recently had lunch with a devoted fan.
-We return to Gene, in an empty arena, sitting on the set of Piper's Pit. He says that recently, Piper's Pit was the sight of a despicable act and warns us that what we are about to see is very graphic and suggests that more sensitive viewers may want to leave the room.
-Jimmy Snuka is the guest. Piper says that Snuka was on once before and Snuka whined that Piper wouldn't let him talk, so Piper hands him the microphone and invites him to say whatever he wants. Snuka just stares in disdain while Piper “makes him feel at home” by dropping pineapples and bananas in front of him, and then Piper whips out...some coconuts, which hit the table with audible thuds. I'm 99% certain they stuck a microphone inside the table where Piper drops the coconut, which is a great touch considering what's about to happen.
-Snuka gets fed up and says “Are you making fun of me?” Piper says no, and then immediately breaks a coconut across Snuka's head. Snuka tumbles completely through the walls, destroying the Piper's Pit set and landing in a heap. Piper walks over and whips Snuka with his belt and taunts him. Snuka finally makes it back to his feet as Piper inches his way toward an exit, and as soon as Snuka starts showing signs of life again, Piper slams the door in his face and leaves.
-We return to Gene, who proclaims it to be one of the most despicable incidents he's ever seen. Gene brings in Tito Santana and asks for his input about what we just saw. Tito says that Piper finally stepped over the line and Piper, after months of consequence-free taunting, is probably about to take the beating he's been asking for.
JESSE “The Body” VENTURA vs SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES
-Jesse's return to the WWF. Jesse goes to work on the arm to start and uses the hair every time SD starts to fight out. Jesse puts the boots to Jones and then goes to a front facelock. SD gets free with punches, but misses a corner charge. Back to the front facelock. SD gets free again, but Jesse goes to the eyes to take him right back down. Inverted atomic drop by Jesse, and an elbow is all Jesse needs for three. “Look at that package!” Gene marvels.
-This time around, Captain Lou Albano is the guest. He presents Piper with an award for his contributions to the music industry, noting his skill for playing the bagpipes. They talk about Dave Wolff, and Piper gives Captain Lou a surprise. Piper says he called his good friend Burt Reynolds and Burt put in a call to Cyndi Lauper and made the arrangements for her to appear on Piper's Pit. Piper promises that Cyndi Lauper will be there next week.
IRON SHEIK (with Ayatollah Blassie) vs PVT. TERRY DANIELS
-Gene leads off by saying that due to some difficulties with travel accommodations, Sgt. Slaughter is not in the arena. And that won't end well for Daniels, I'm guessing. Sheik and Daniels duke it out for a a little bit...and then Sgt. Slaughter shows up. Well...joke's on me, then.
-Controversial boot by the Sheik. He follows with a gutwrench suplex. He brings Daniels to his feet and gives Daniels the hardest slap I have ever seen/heard in my life. And then several more. Commentators speculate that Sheik merely cares about humiliation, not necessarily victory. Sheik keeps slapping Daniels and spitting on him. Sheik goes to the top rope and Slaughter dashes to ringside and shoves Sheik off. Sheik gets the win by DQ.
COWBOY BOB ORTON vs SALVATORE BELLOMO
-Orton is pretty aggressive with Bellomo, using punches and stomps instead of the more mat-based stuff he had been doing in the past few appearances. Hayes classifies his offense as a “spasmodic burst.” Bellomo comes to life and comes off the ropes with shoulderblocks, but Orton sidesteps him and lets Bellomo crash to the floor. Orton suplexes him back in and pins him in short order.
WWF ALL-STAR WRESTLING
-Your host is Gene Okerlund.
“Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF vs BILLY TRAVIS
-Lord Alfred Hayes shows up again for this week's matches. Travis works the arm. Orndorff gives him a knee to the gut and follows with a back suplex. Orndorff tosses him to the floor and rams him back-first into the post. Back in, clothesline by Orndorff. Uppercut by Orndorff. Stomp by Orndorff. Powerslam by Orndorff. Piledriver by Orndorff. Victory by Orndorff.
-Vince McMahon yet again looks at Tito Santana.
-We yet again look at the coconut incident.
ROCKY JOHNSON vs LANNY KEAN
-Armdrag by “The Rock” to take charge early. Another armdrag into an armbar, and that's enough to draw a “borrrrrring!” Cheap shot by Kean, and Rocky's not so keen on that, LOL! He chases Kean out of the ring. Back in, Rocky gets a sunset flip for three.
BULLDOG BUZZ SAWYER (with Captain Lou Albano) vs SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES
-Well...I guess their last encounter had a lot of unanswered questions. Much the same as the last match, except that SD gets more offense. He works the arm a little bit, but Captain Lou offers some friendly outside interference to stop him from staying in control. Sawyer gets down on all fours, leading Gene to observe, “Just like a bulldog! Hence the name!” Thanks, Gene.
-Sawyer bites away at SD Jones, and then chokes and chokes and chokes and bites. Sawyer applies a bearhug. SD punches free and goes off the ropes but runs right into a forearm and Sawyer gets the three.
-We see Piper's Pit and the Daniels/Sheik match again.
JESSE “The Body” VENTURA vs JOSE LUIS RIVERA
-Funny opening bit to the match, with Jesse taking forever to remove his earrings and the referee audibly bitching about how much stuff Jesse wore for his entrance. Gene marvels about the impressive physical package.
-Jesse works the arm while Gene actually takes a time-out to plug the hairstylist who worked on Jesse's hair this week. Jesse takes care of Jose without much trouble and gets the win with a body vice.
The 411: Really interesting to see them breath a little more life into the Slaughter/Sheik affair after five months. And again, stuff's happening. Reviewing these one after another turns me into a broken record, but it needs to be said, as much as Vince gets ragged on for turning wrestling into a cartoon during this year, he really did work HARD at getting this national production off the ground.