The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (08.18.1984)
Posted by Adam Nedeff on 10.20.2013
Hulk Hogan is here, fans! I just hope you're not the type of Hulk Hogan fans who like it when he says things and does things!
-Originally aired August 18, 1984.
-Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Tony Garea.
KEN PATERA (with Captain Lou Albano) vs BILLY TRAVIS
-Patera outmuscles Travis with no trouble. Travis applies a full nelson and Patera breaks it simply by flexing. Patera tosses Travis across the ring, but Travis happens to land on his feet and turns right around to connect with a dropkick, pissing Patera off.
-Side headlock by Travis. Patera whips him into the ropes to get free and elbows him down. Uppercut sends Travis over the top and onto the floor. Headlock by Patera wears Travis down. Patera clamps on a bearhug and when Travis doesn't submit, Patera rams him into the corner. Suplex could finish but Patera picks him up at two.
-Jerk slam by Patera and Travis lands right on the tailbone. Damn! A second jerk slam by Patera, and he follows with an elbow to finally get the three-count.
KAMALA (with Classy Freddy Blassie & Friday) vs STEVE LOMBARDI
-For no particular reason, Hulk Hogan comes to ringside after Kamala's entrance. He gives words of encouragement and a handshake to Lombardi, and then leaves without incident.
-Kamala, agitated by the interruption, chops Lombardi allover the place and splashes him to finish in less than a minute. After the bell, Kamala tries to climb to the top rope, and Friday & Blassie have to yank him down. So the lesson here, I guess, is that Hulk gives shit advice.
-This week's montage includes the Junkyard Dog, so I guess he's here now.
LADIES TITLE BELT CEREMONY
-Back to the arena, where Gene Okerlund introduces new champion Wendi Richter. Gene reveals the new belt. Richter starts to do an acceptance speech before Moolah emerges and carries out a sneak attack. And what the hell, she unloads on Mean Gene, too. She rips up Wendi's blouse, but it's 1984, so Gene does the gentlemanly thing and sacrifices his jacket for Wendi.
GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (with Captain Lou Albano) vs MARIO MANCINI
-Valentine gets a little bit of a pop, and Vince acknowledges it during the intros. Valentine targets the arm of Mancini, or “Dave Barbie” if you're Vince. Shoulderbreaker and a suplex by Valentine. Elbowdrop by Valentine, and the figure four finishes to a chorus of cheers.
-Rowdy Roddy Piper thrives on chaos and abuses his privileges. Yes he does.
-Speak of the devil. Piper welcomes Sgt. Slaughter and tells him that he was an idiot for fighting in Vietnam because everybody hated the war. “There are people in this arena whose feet are still burning from running for the border!” Piper wants to know how it feels to fight in a war when people were marching to put a stop to it. Slaughter teases having a sad, then grabs the mic and yells “God bless America!” He pledges to fight and die for his country.
TITO SANTANA (Intercontinental Champion) vs DAVE BARBIE
-Tito comes to the ring wearing a jacket with “Arriva” embroidered on the back, so Tito is apparently quite a fan of British public transportation.
-Lock-ups go nowhere. They trade hammerlocks when the mysterious sleeveless tuxedo man arrives at ringside. Vince says that according to some research, his name is either “Brutus Beefcake” or “Brutus Beefcakes.”
-Barbie winds up on the floor, and once he's back in, Tito clamps down on a side headlock. Vince observes that no one gets pinned from a side headlock, and somewhere off in the distance, Gorilla Monsoon feels his spine tingle and can't understand why.
-Side headlock goes longer than sanity would dictate acceptable for a TV squash match until Barbie goes to the eyes to break it. Santana gets pissed and throws a few punches. Slam by Santana and he waits patiently for Barbie to stand back up and connect with the flying forearm. Tito clamps on a stepover toehold and falls backward with it to turn it into a goddamn painful looking pin, and it gets three.
The 411: Pretty dull week of stuff. Piper's Pit seemed to be going somewhere, with Slaughter doing a tremendous acting job before suddenly veering back into "America! Fuck yeah!" and it's a shame because I think they could have had a good angle build from that (and good god, a Slaughter-Piper feud in 1984 would have allowed Vince to make hundred-dollar-bill wallpaper for his office).