The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (9.29.1984)

Two months off is long enough. Let’s get back to this…

-Originally aired September 29, 1984.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino.

SGT. SLAUGHTER vs. CARL FURY
-Sarge eats up a solid 59 minutes of this week’s hour broadcast walking to the ring, and manages to squeeze in a slam and a flexing pose with the remaining TV time. Oh, good, the show is going to run long this week.
-Sarge reverses an Irish whip and follows through with an elbow. Slaughter Cannon follows, and the cobra clutch finishes.

UPDATE
-Lord Alfred Hayes looks at the reigning tag team champs, Adrian Adonis & Dick Murdoch. We go to a recent TNT segment at Dick Murdoch’s ranch, where Murdoch wrestles a small cow that has one foot tied down, which would be great if the point was to make us think “asshole” and not “tough guy,” which I think is what they were going for.

-Read the current WWF Magazine! Andre the Giant is starring in a new film! Cyndi Lauper is managing Wendi Richter! Ken Patera is back in the WWF! Hulk Hogan is welcomed to the Twin Cities! And there’s a photo of Jerry Blackwell in this issue for some reason!

KAMALA (with Friday) vs. JOSE LUIS RIVERA
-Great visual of the fans rushing toward the aisle to get a closer look when Kamala’s music strikes up. Kamala goes on the offensive quickly when the crowd starts going crazy for something, and it turns out to be Andre the Giant walking to ringside to scout the Ugandan Giant. Kamala looks disturbed by the sight of Andre.

-Kamala is so bothered that instead of staying on Rivera, he keeps doing a single move then pausing to stare at Andre in shock. Rivera manages to throw a dropkick, but gets dropped right back down to the mat, and the splash finishes. Friday runs into the ring immediately to hold back Kamala and prevent the confrontation.

BRETT HART vs. ALDO MARINO
-That’s how they spell it. Brett’s wearing a leather vest and gray tights, but the starred boots are there from the very beginning. This was right after Vince bought the Stampede territory and inherited more talent than he really had spots for, so they just lingered around for a few months in a series of “Uh, here” matches until Vince finally figured out what to do with a few of them.

-Brett and Marino are portrayed as very evenly matches, which, without the benefit of hindsight, would seem to be a TERRIBLE omen for Brett. Slam and a legdrop by Brett, but he gets shoulderblocked down. Marino tries to follow that, but Brett meets him with a clothesline. Piledriver finishes. Super-bland debut, and Brett looks REALLY unhappy as he’s getting his hand raised.

-We go to Sgt. Slaughter, who wants us to help restore the Statue of Liberty. Mail your tax deductible contribution today!

DYNAMITE KID vs. STEVE LOMBARDI
-Armdrag by Dynamite. Elbow and a slam follow. Dynamite keeps it pretty basic actually. Series of near-falls by Dynamite. Crowd boos every time Lombardi kicks out. Vince eagerly says “Let’s see what he does!” and then Dynamite does a simple Irish whip. Dynamite does a kip-up and Vince just blows his load for it, trying to get the viewers excited, but Dynamite is just shockingly not into this. Diving headbutt finishes as Vince’s buyer’s remorse starts to set in. Better days were ahead, of course.

PIPER’S PIT
-Hot Rod welcomes Ken Patera & Captain Lou Albano. Patera steals catchphrases from Jesse Ventura and complains that the “good-doers” of the WWF are actually cheaters. He complains about a recent gym session where he got attacked from behind by four men. He suspects Tito Santana may have been one of them. The crowd chants “Bullshit!” as he gets to the end of the story.

NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHIEK vs. JOE MIRTO & JOE MASCARA
-Volkoff sings the mysterious counterfeit anthem again.

-Sheik smears Mascara all over the canvas. Mirto locks up with Volkoff and throws a punch that causes the Russian to back off. Nikolai takes a cheap shot to the throat. Back suplex by the Sheik, and Volkoff tags in to execute the backbreaker that you saw at the beginning of every Coliseum Video for the next three years. It gets the win.

-Lord Alfred Hayes takes us to MSG for a bout between Superfly Jimmy Snuka and Rowdy Roddy Piper. A wild brawl leaves Piper bloody mess. Snuka comes off the top rope with a bodypress, and Piper manages to weave his body so that Snuka lands on the ropes and tumbles out of the ring, and Piper wins in a fluke count-out. Piper grabs a chair and drives it into Snuka’s neck twice. Snuka is taken out on a stretcher.

-Bruno Sammartino is disgusted, and Vince promises updates on Snuka’s condition next week.

The 411: Piper-Snuka's a hot match, and the two debuts, although underwhelming, are pretty neat bits of history, of course. Thumbs up.
Final Score:  6.0   [ Average ]