411’s WCW Thunder Report 1.31.01

WCW Thunder Report 1.31.01
Taped
Announcers are Tony and Tenay
Report by Widro

Clips From nitro

Cat and Rick Steiner sign a contract

Thunder Open

Man, look at that kid in the front row. He has a red foam slapnutz guitar. You can’t even buy those on WCW.com. And WCW never comes near me anymore. Anyone who wants to pick one up for me will be rewarded!

You Can’t Powerbomb Kidman vs. Sugar Shane Helms
They go right to work. Back and forth. Head scissors by Kidman. Kidman sent to the floor. Kidman back in, and Shane goes to work. He truly IS the sensation of innovation. Snapmare. Middle rope knee drop for 2. Is Kidman hulking up? Fights back from his knees. Back elbow. Side headlock by Shane. Hair pull slam by Shane. Head scissors on the mat by Helms. Belly to back by Kidman. Nightmare on Helms Street not called by the announcers. Shane goes for the Vertebreaker, but Kidman blocking. They punch back and forth. Sitout powerbomb by the Kid for 2. Some counters, go behinds. Kidman puts Shane on top. Goes for superplex, Shane pushes him off. Sunset flip from the top for 2. Shane goes for another Nightmare, Kidman reverses into an HOMBRE BLASTER. Kidman goes for Kid Crusher, reversed into Vertebreaker, reversed back. Shane puts Kidman on the top. Grabs Kidman from the TOP. Hits the Vertebreaker and PINS Kidman!
Winner: Shane

Commercial Break

And here comes Big Poppa Pump with his King Tut Chain Hat and Midajah. Steiner runs down Dustin Rhodes on the STICK. Steiner has Dustin’s contract, and rips it up. He runs down Booker T and Sid. And Goldberg. Week after week, Steiner runs down Sting, Booker T, Sid and Goldberg. Sure that sets up some good future matches, but what about the present? Finally runs down Nash.

Kronic is here. They want to take Steiner’s chain hat! Adams calls him Big Poppa Punk! That’s almost as witty as Cat calling him Big Poppa Dump. They argue, Totally Buff attacks from behind. Brawling all over the place. Rick Steiner comes out, but JJ hits him from behind with a guitar.

Commercial Break

Backstage, Team Flair laughs.

Harris vs. Two L Shaped Sideburns
Harrises give the ref a doctor’s note. Har Har. The ref puts an “X” on the hand of the uninjured Harris Brother. Somehow the marker goes to the floor, and the injured Harris grabs it. Then the injured Harris puts an “X” on his hand too. Lash in control so far. Dropkick. Harris takes control. Side suplex for 2. Back and forth. They brawl to the floor. How can they claim to be in a different place when the same Ravens coach is pointed out in the crowd? Back into the ring. Lash takes off Harris’s show and hits him. He goes to the floor, the OLD SWITCHEROO takes place. The new Harris comes in and even takes off his shoe. Spinebuster.
Winner: Harris

Commercial Break

THE Kwee Wee walks backstage with Paisley. Some random scrubs laugh at him. He stops and confronts them. Some blond guy says he’ll beat Kwee Wee tonight and get a contract.

Gene interviews Chavo w/Wall. They both talk. Chavo gives a good interview. Wall babbles and screams. Hugh Morrus attacks. They brawl.

Norman talks to Glacier. Norman wants to make sure Glacier has his back.

Commercial Break

Gene interviews O’Haire and Palumbo. What’s the problem with the NBT?? Jealousy.

Flair talks to Sanders backstage. Flair booked Sanders with Konnan to teach him to think on his feet.

Norman Smiley vs. Bam Bam Bam
Back and forth. BBB takes control, sends Smiley to the floor. Smiley looks around for Glacier. BBB beats on Smiley, Smiley looks around. Again. Again. Finally Glacier is here! Greetings From Asbury Park.
Winner: BBB

Glacier slapping hands with the fans, still not into the ring, even though the match is over. Goes into the ring and cuts a promo that he chased of BBB, one of WCW’s villains.

Commercial Break

The Chosen One vs. Dogfaced Rick
JJ on the mic, says that like DDP on Monday, Rick won’t come out. Calls for the ref to count out Rick. Shockingly, Rick comes out. JJ goes right to work. Side suplex by Rick. Sends JJ to the floor. Brawling on the floor. Back into the ring, more brawling. Ref bump. Shane Douglas is here with a chained hand. Hits Rick? No hits JJ by mistake instead. Rick knocks Shane off the apron. Rick hits the DVD and the ref is up. Wow Jarrett jobs!
Winner: Rick

Steiner on the mic. You want some? COME GET SOME. You Don’t Like Me? CROWD: BITE ME!!

Commercial Break

THE Kwee Wee w/Paisley vs. Scotty O
TKW dares Scotty O to laugh at the Kwee Wee. Scotty O mocks Kwee Wee and KW attacks. Scotty O is in trouble, I’d say. Squash.
Winner: Kwee Wee

Kwee Wee on the mic, says he’s waiting for a call from Flair.

Commercial Break

The Mamalukes vs. Sean O’Haire and Chuck Palumbo
Non-title. Back and forth. Vito and O’Haire in the ring. Vito talks trash, O’Haire comes hard of the corner. Johnny and Palumbo in. Back and forth. Both need a tag, both get it , but its VITO who is a house afire. He takes out both Thrillers. JTB and O’Haire brawl. Ten punch count along by Vito on Chuck. Powerslam by Vito. O’Haire and JTB to the floor. Vito does the Big Vito Special in the ring. Cover for only 2. Palumbo with a kick. Seanton bomb.
Winners: NBT

Shawn and Jindrack come out and mock the champs. They challenge them to a tag title match. Shawn says they were always supposed to be Thrillers, but the gold made them jerks. Shawn carried Chuck, Jindrack carried O’Haire. Then Sean greats the mic and yells at Shawn. Then they brawl. Who’re the face? Who’re the heels?

Commercial Break

Flair, Scott and JJ leave in a limo to visit DDP in jail. Flair puts Animal in charge.

Sanders talks to Reno. Tells Reno that Flair wanted Reno to wrestle Konnan. Sanders says if Konnan gets the Tequila Sunrise, he wants Reno to tap right away.

Gene talks to Totally buff about challenging Kronic. Buff mocks Kronic for not being stars, and they never will be stars.

Commercial Break

Yo Yo Yo Let Me Suck Konnan vs. Dice Rollin’ Reno
Konnan briefly on the mic to begin. Standing switches and such. Back and forth. Konnan hits the face buster. Konnan goes with the Tequila Sunrise and Reno does in fact tap right away.
Winner: Sanders

Sanders is out. He tells Konnan things aren’t always what they seem, then Reno ROLLS THE DICE BABY YEAH. Konnan is, of course, out cold.

Commercial Break

Totally Buff vs. Kronic
Buff and Clarke to start. TB double team. Clarke fights back briefly, but once again TB is in control. Back elbow by Clarke, Buff hits Adams for fun, and Luger comes in. Luger and Clarke are down, both tag. Adams takes out both of TB. Kronic double teams. Shoulder blocks for Luger. High Times for Luger? Buff clips Adams from behind. Clarke and Luger brawl to the floor. On the floor, Animal hits Clarke HARD with STEEEEEEL chair. Adams and Buff in the ring, Full Nelson slam by Adams. Adams calls for Clarke, he’s out. Luger in. Belly to back by Luger. Blockbuster by Buff.
Winners: Totally Buff

Let us go to a jail in Baltimore. JJ, Flair and Steiner and Midajah want to see Page. He’s been bailed out! Team Flair is pissed. They go into the jail anyway for some reason. Page left them an envelope. “Hey monkey, I figured you might try something stupid, so I figure I’d leave you this note. See you Monday. Bang” and then the guard locks them in the cell.