411 Video Review: Superbrawl 95

SuperBrawl V (1995)

I’ve gotten some nice feedback from my first few reviews which I thought was kind of odd, considering that I didn’t post my E-mail address anywhere on my column. I’ll post it at the end of this one, if you feel the need to throw a few words in my direction.

Today we’re looking at SuperBrawl V featuring Hulk Hogan against the once unstoppable Vader, but more importantly, this show features one of my all-time favorite WCW matches. And for me, any sentence involving “WCW” and “favorite” doesn’t happen all that often. It’s one of those matches I like to show non-fans and you’ll understand why when we get to it.

Quick history here. This is around the time that both companies were pretty much sucking. The WWF was praying to the all mighty that Lawrence Taylor could pull them out their doldrums, and WCW had pretty much crushed the spirits of all the actual talent to make room for Hulk Hogan and his lackeys. Mainstreamwise, 1995 was NOT an especially good year to be a wrestling fan. Yes, I know ECW was peaking, but I, along with about 80% of the country, didn’t have stations that carried ECW, so I was left with the big two.

Okay, on with the show.

First some previews of other great WCW titles, and I am reminded that yes, Brutus Beefcake once headlined the granddaddy of them all, Starrcade.

Keep in mind too, that at this time, WCW was stealing as many ideas from the WWF as they could, and to prove my point, straight out of a Coliseum release, we’re treated to the Nasty Boys on vacation. Where do Nasty Boys go on vacation, you ask? Apparently to the zoo and the science museum, which the only explanation I have for that is that those places are so NOT nasty that they pass the realm of our own personal vision of nastiness and take us to a nastiness that we couldn’t even comprehend. The Nasties destroy a Lego building, put their hands on one of those electricity balls that make your hair stand on end (and considering that Knobbs hair already stands up, it makes the whole thing kind of pointless), watch a dolphin show, and visit a greenhouse before having seafood for dinner. The end. I’m so thankful WCW never signed the Bushwhackers.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavonne and Bobby Heenan.

Before the show, though, a hidden camera catches a limo arriving, and a woman starts to get out, but then Vader does instead. “Flair must be in there!” shouts Tony, the implication being that Vader doesn’t have the ability to get his own women, I guess.

Also before we get things rocking, we also need to take a look at how absolutely CRAZY Vader is. We see him destroy a limo window with his fist, thinking Hogan’s in it. (It’s actually Schiavonne. The announcers get LIMOS?) And since Vader’s crazy, and not a complete idiot, he doesn’t manage to destroy his hand on the limo and ruin months of storylines.

Then he proceeds to destroy Marcus Bagwell and the Patriot during the pre-game show, but is respectful enough to let them win their match first before he kicks their asses. You know, watching this………I don’t think anybody can stop this monster.

Let’s go to the ring for our opening bout.

Match #1

Alex Wright vs. Paul Roma

I bought this video used from Blockbuster Video for $4.99. I bought it for one reason. This match. Paul Roma, a man who despite being a former Horseman was never much of anything in his decade long career, felt slighted that he was to be fodder for a skinny German kid named Alex Wright who was NOT over and NOT terribly talented. Which in WCW language meant “big push.” So Roma, seeing the writing on the wall as a permanent WCW jobber, decided to make the most of his position, a spot that befell Brian Pillman earlier in his career. Though while Pillman responded by proving how valuable he was by having the best matches on the card, Roma, a man lacking the ability to EVER have the best match on the card, decided to just be an asshole about it. (And I don’t mean to just trash on Roma. When I was a kid, he was the first wrestler ever to give me an autograph. For free. So he’s not all bad.)

Roma comes out wearing his Young Stallions gear. He’s “Pretty” Paul Roma, just a tad better name than “Romeo” Roma that the WWF once tried. Alex comes out, and doesn’t do his dance, so I guess this is REALLY early in his tenure. And out of nowhere pops that WWF audience member, (Ivan?) that guy with the short hair, glasses, and muscle shirt, who was ringside at EVERY WWF show in the 80’s and early 90’s. He seems to have a less than spectacular seat for this show. Alex does a moonsault into the ring, and oh, there’s the dancing, but Roma nails him from behind (to a pretty good pop) and we’re underway. Roma gets some stiff shots in followed by an elbowdrop to the thigh. Roma then shows why he’s jobbing by blowing a press slam, and just makes it a body slam instead. And Wright isn’t exactly a heavyweight here. He then mocks the “Wunderkind” dance to a big pop and a good laugh from the crowd. Alex comes back with several right hands which Roma COMPLETELY no-sells. He hits a knee, but ducks his head so Alex can get a sunset flip for two, followed by an armdrag takedown. Roma doesn’t sell that either, instead jawing with the referee and the fans. Roma reverses the armdrag and Alex oversells to counter Roma’s non-selling. Wright tries a cartwheel and two kip-ups but Roma won’t let go. Wright runs to the top rope with Roma still holding him and flips him off to the canvas. And Roma shows a look of surprise. Back to the arm, and back to the bored look on Roma’s face. Paul Orndorff comes down to ringside for no real reason considering the whopping one move Wright has pulled off, so I’m guessing it’s to talk some sense into Roma. And amazingly, as soon as Orndorff appears, Roma starts selling the arm. Wright gets a two count. Fireman’s carry takedown and Roma’s bored look returns as his back is now towards Orndorff. So Orndorff walks around the ring, and now Roma’s wincing in pain. Roma turns the armbar into a legscissors. Forearm to the back followed by two STIFF elbowdrops, the second one especially, as he gets elevation and drops his elbow literally onto his throat. Three backbreakers, and Roma just tosses Wright around like he’s nothing. He kicks Alex in the head several times and dumps him to the floor. Alex responds with a few punches and goes for a sunset flip into the ring, but Roma just moves out of the way and Wright just crashes onto the mat. Slow two for Roma, and Roma makes him fight for the kickout. Wright tries a backslide and small package to no avail, Roma just responds with a shot to the back of the head. Roma then kicks him in the face. And I mean, he kicks him in the face. Orndorff darts over to Roma and Roma backs off. Roma pulls at Alex’s mouth and nose with his fingers and then goes to a front facelock, as the non-stop offense has worn down Roma. Alex kicks and punches out of it, whips Roma into the ropes for a dropkick, but Roma grabs the ropes and Alex splatters on the canvas again. And the crowd pops big for it. Roma leaps to the top rope and drops a nasty elbow on Alex’s throat again. Roma runs around the ring celebrating before going for a pin, only to pull him up at two. Roma misses a blind charge and Wright hits some European uppercuts to a still bored Roma. Wright goes for a hiptoss, but Roma just falls down before Wright can even try. Wright hits a spinkick but Roma kicks out at one. Wright hits a flying bodypress but Roma sells it to the point that they land halfway outside the ring, and the ref goes ahead and counts a pin anyway, but Orndorff breaks it up. Orndorff then jumps up on the apron and the two chat for about twenty seconds waiting for Alex to get up and dropkick Roma into Orndorff, and EVEN THAT Roma won’t sell. Wright schoolboys Roma, Roma kicks out at two, but the ref thinks “Screw this” and counts three anyways. Heenan asks for a replay, but Tony decides it’s best not to. Wright got virtually no offense in this match, and Roma wouldn’t sell what few moves Wright did do. Perfect example of a wrestler putting himself over the product. It should go without saying that Roma was fired after this match for being an overall asshole, and despite a dark match tryout from the WWF, he was pretty much blackballed from the industry.

Interview: Harlem Heat w/ Sherri. Sherri’s showing waaaaaay too much cleavage. Why is it the uglier a woman is, the more they seem to want to flaunt it? Mean Gene calls Stevie Ray “Booker”. Booker provides Rick Steiner with two years of material by saying “If you want some, come get some.” Thankfully, he stops at that.

Match #2

Bunkhouse Buck vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

Bunkhouse Buck is the former Jimmy Golden, which I say only to show that I know a lot about wrestling. I know Golden wrestled in the Continental area with Robert Fuller, but that’s about it. I never much cared for “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, only because he was caught in a car with the Iron Sheik doing drugs in 1987 which shattered my belief that wrestling was real. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of any LOGICAL reason that Duggan would be hanging out with the Sheik. That and his matches tend to suck. Though apparently he was freakin’ Ric Flair in his Mid-South days. Duggan holds the American flag in his left hand and punches Buck with his right. He puts the flag down and keeps on punching. Eyerake from Buck, which Duggan momentarily forgets to sell, but only temporarily as he then clotheslines Buck out of the ring. Let me also mention the “evil bodyguard” Meng is at ringside. Duggan goes for the headlock into the ringpost which in my years of watching has NEVER worked. Duggan goes into the post. But Duggan’s okay after all, and after a kneedrop he goes to a side headlock on Buck. Buck’s shirt is ripped to shreds by this point. Buck goes for a kick and Duggan blocks it, spins him, and hits an atomic drop. Back to the headlock, and an ECW shirt makes an appearance. Buck goes into the corner, which is where his rope is, so he hits Duggan with the rope. He doesn’t choke him, he hits him. Duggan falls to the outside, and Buck finally gets some offense. Buck throws Duggan in, only to go back to a front facelock. They trade kicks in the corner, which Duggan wins. Backdrop from Duggan, but a cheap shot from Buck and its back to the headlock AGAIN. Duggan powers out. Buck hits him, but Duggan’s “Hulking up.” You see, the “Hulk-up” doesn’t really work when you’ve been the one dominating the entire match, Jim. And hence the zero response that results. Duggan drops a big elbow for two. As a joke, I was going to say that Duggan applies another headlock, but he’s one step ahead of me, as Duggan GOES BACK to the headlock. Duggan slams him, and hits a kneedrop for two. Heenan is amazed at how vicious this match is. Duggan with a chinlock. Duggan headbutts Buck for two. Ten punches in the corner followed by the usual joke by Heenan about it. Duggan with an armbar. Buck gets one punch in and tries to throw Duggan into Parker who has a foreign object but Duggan hits Parker instead and almost blows the three point stance by hitting him too late but gets the pin anyways. Meng runs in with a superkick and applies the Tonga Death Grip as Duggan finally sells a move. Horrible, horrible match. You would have thought Buck had been signed by the WWF the way this match went. I’ll be nice and go 1/4* of a star only because of Duggan’s good impression of Paul Roma throughout the match.

Interview: The Nasty Boys. Thankfully, Mean Gene can tell which Nasty is which.

Match #3

Kevin Sullivan vs. Dave Sullivan

Kevin is with The Butcher, Brutus Beefcake. Dave Sullivan is without his “magic slippers,” and I’m reminded of that horrid angle where Hulk Hogan gave Dave Sullivan his boots he wore when he beat Andre the Giant, only to have Kevin destroy them. Dave starts with some of the WORST looking punches in history, and Kevin bails to the floor. Dave attacks Butcher. Dave rams Kevin into the turnbuckle ten times, and to show how little the crowd cares, they don’t count along. Dave gets up on the turnbuckle and starts hitting Kevin, hoping the fans will join in the count. They don’t, so he stops at six. Dave hits a backdrop for a 2. Butcher trips Dave and Kevin tosses him. Butcher attacks Dave outside. Dave uses a choke to get back in. Blind charge in the corner, and Kevin starts chopping at Dave. Dave bites Kevin in the stomach, but Kevin comes back on offense. Stiff chop from Kevin wakes the crowd up temporarily, but Dave strikes back putting the crowd back to sleep. Dave falls out of the ring and Butcher attacks Dave again. Kevin returns to the chops. Have I mentioned Dave screams more during a match then Luger? Butcher gets up on the apron to distract Dave, so Kevin pushes Dave into Butcher who weakly falls off the apron, Kevin schoolboys Dave, pulls the tights and barely tries to pin him (in a “let’s just get this over with” kind of way), and gets the win. Butcher oversells getting hit in the face, even though at no time was he ever close to getting hit in the face. Kevin eventually grows weary of Butcher’s overacting and ditches him.

One of the worst wrestling matches I have ever seen. This match had no heat with two guys barely trying. I’ve seen more exciting Superstars squashes. -**. And I RARELY give negative star ratings. You have to earn them. This one did.

Interview: Big Bubba & Avalanche. One thing I’ve noticed during these interviews is that Okerlund is conducting these behind a mirror, so when a guy wanders off, you can see what they’re doing off camera. So while Bubba and Avalanche say nothing of note, I can add that Bubba does grab a cool beverage after he’s done talking.

Match #4

Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat

Oh dear lord. It’s a fact that these two teams have had more bad matches than any other tag team combo in history. I don’t mind BAD bad matches, I just hate BORING bad matches. Heat has pyro. Extremely weak pyro that manages to startle Sister Sherri anyways. Harlem Heat are noticeably skinnier than they are now. Insightful Heenan comment: “What can you say about the Nasty Boys? They are nasty.” Referee Nick Patrick is in Magnum T.A. mode for this match. Knobbs slaps Booker in the face and Booker goes nuts. A little too much so as Booker gets crotched on the top rope about twenty seconds in and gets tossed by the Boys. Booker gets the “spinaroonie” look on his face, which seems totally out of place. Back in, and Booker gets a headbutt to the crotch. Sags adopts a clever strategy by working on the crotch area with an elbow and an atomic drop. Thumb to Sags eye, and Stevie tags in. He pummels Sags in the corner. Sags returns the offense. Knobbs comes back in and works on Stevie’s leg. And Stevie has become the face in peril. Oh, wait, the Nasties are the faces. I think. The lack of crowd support for anybody makes it tough for me to determine that, but considering Sherri spent about two weeks of her career as a face, I guess Harlem Heat are the heels. And in the time it took me to come up with that, nothing of note has happened. Booker distracts Sags so Stevie can get a nice dropkick to Jerry’s head sending him to the floor. Sherri lightly pushes Jerry into the railing. Sags brushes it off but eats another savate kick moments later. Booker gets a third kick in, and Sherri makes up for the botched rail spot with a nasty looking punch to the face. Booker in with a half-”Spinaroonie.” Wide shot of the arena means we’re at a resthold. Bicycle kick from Booker, and back comes Stevie. More restholds. Booker back in with the ax kick, but takes too long to cover. More restholds. Booker misses a clothesline, Sags gets a powerslam, and Knobbs is tagged in. Knobbs with a double clothesline and a double slam. Knobbs hits a double DDT for the first BIG pop of the night. 2 count from Knobbs, but Booker stops the count. Sags tosses Booker, but Stevie holds Knobbs as Sherri goes to the top with her shoe. Guess who she hits. Knobbs pins Stevie for the 3. NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!! Oh wait here’s Randy Anderson. Apparently he saw Sags toss Booker over the top rope. So the Nasties are DQ’d. The Dusty Finish? They still did the Dusty Finish in 1995????? 20 minutes of NOTHING for the Dusty Finish? Ugh. I was going to at least give a star for a title change, but screw that. DUD.

Interview: Randy Savage & Sting. Entire transcription of Savage interview: “I’m not talking.” Sadly, he keeps saying that over and over again.

Match #5

Blacktop Bully vs. Dustin Rhodes

Or as the video box calls him, Blacktop Billy. Which could be a future gimmick once the former Cowboy/HonkyTonkClone/Assman/One/Flamer needs a new one. Nick Bockwinkel earns his keep by tossing Meng from the match. Blacktop Bully for the unaware is Barry Darsow aka Smash aka Krusher Kruschev aka Repo Man aka that golfer guy. Dustin Rhodes walks to the ring not realizing what he’d be doing nine months from then. Dustin and Bully roll around the ring, but Dustin gets a quick clothesline. 10 punch count in the corner that the crowd DOES count along with. Bully clips Dustin’s knee and rips off Dustin’s jacket and pulls it over his head. Blind charge in the corner, and Dustin kicks him out of the ring. Bully back in and Dustin goes to the headlock and then to an armwringer. This lasts for about three minutes. Dustin hits a springboard elbowdrop followed by an uppercut. Suplex gets two. Sunset flip gets two. A few quick shots from Bully and Dustin gets tossed. They brawl on the floor with Bully getting the worst as his head hits the steps. Dustin blows a monkeyflip back inside, and Bully hits a clothesline. He tosses Dustin and I smell a future resthold. Yep. Bully brings Dustin back in and headlocks him. Dustin breaks free but misses a bodypress and falls out of the ring again. They trade kicks and punches again, but Dustin’s too weak. Bully hits a suplex, and goes to the second rope, but Dustin clotheslines him on the way down. Backdrop, and Dustin pulls Bully’s shirt over him for a sight I could do without. He hits the bulldog, but Col. Parker puts Bully’s foot on the rope. Rhodes suplexes Parker in, which Parker sells as if he’s been crippled. Bully charges but goes over the top rope instead. Rhodes tries to suplex Bully in, and we get the Warrior/Rude WMV ending as Parker grabs Rhodes’ foot and Bully gets the pin. Wow, quite the drop for Dustin. From U.S. champ to jobbing to the Repo Man. Didn’t matter since both men were fired a month later for blading on purpose, probably the most idiotic way to get fired from a job. Two matches in a row with endings seen a million times before. Just the tiniest smidge better than the tag match. 1/2*.

Interview: Vader. Apparently Vader misplaced his watch. Who was in the limo with Vader earlier today? “What matters is that it wasn’t Hogan.” Can’t argue with that.

In ring Interview with Ric Flair. Flair is in post retirement mode here after losing to Hogan at Halloween Havoc, and he came to SuperBrawl to party! By partying, he means sitting in the front row for the main event.

Match #6

Sting & Randy Savage vs. Big Bubba & Avalanche

WCW was SORELY lacking in heels, hence the promotion of Big Bubba to near-main event status. This is a tag team grudge match, but I have no clue what led to this match. This is Savage’s WCW wrestling PPV debut. Which is as meaningful as saying that The Scorpion King had the biggest April debut ever. At ringside sits the Great Muta! Sting and Avalanche start. Sting clotheslines and dropkicks Avalanche but Avalanche won’t go down. Bubba tags in and gives Sting a backbreaker. He goes to the tope rope waaay too early, and Savage crotches him. Sting hits a nifty superplex, and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Savage hits a double axehandle to the floor, and tags in. Camera points to Flair and in a rare instance, Heenan screws up one of his own line calling Flair “that thing that stirs the drinks.” Tony: “A straw?” Heenan: “Yeah, a straw.” Savage hits an armdrag takedown, and excepts applause for it. He doesn’t get it. Savage with a sunset-flip, but Bubba is just too big. He schoolboys him for two, and then slaps Avalanche in the face for good measure. Avalanche tags in, so Savage slaps him again. He then goes for a slam, and fails miserably. Avalanche goes for an avalanche but misses. Sting back in, and he buckles Avalanche’s knee and goes for the scorpion deathlock, but he’s just too big. Bubba tries to make the save but Savage interferes and it’s a pier-four brawl. Sting hits Stinger-splashes on Bubba and Avalanche but Avalanche hits a uranage on the third one to end that. He then does his customary pose to show his lack of muscle tone. Savage goes after Flair, but Flair says he’s retired now. Avalanche blows another avalanche and Sting slams him. Bubba cheapshots Sting and Sting falls headfirst onto Avalanche’s crotch. Sting tags Savage and Savage takes care of both men. Sting back in, and Savage elbowdrops Bubba, but neither man is legal. Sting goes to the top, bodypresses Avalanche who falls over Bubba whose trying to get up and scores a surprisingly quick pin. All things considered, a decent match considering who was in it.

Interview: Hulk Hogan “It’s not Vader time, it’s Hulkster time!!!” Sigh, why did Hogan HAVE to be given the WWF belt?

Match #7

Hulk Hogan vs. Vader

Vader comes out with no Harley Race, so I’m guessing Race is out of the picture now. Vader has a good share of fans too. Michael Buffer calls it the “Big Brawl of SUPERBRAWL!” not realizing how idiotic that sounds. Vader no-sells Hogan’s punches, and takes his mask off about thirty seconds in. Hogan punches and hits a clothesline, and Vader again no-sells. So Hogan tries a wrestling move, an arm wringer, and then legscissors the arm? The hell? Vader steps on Hogan’s face to end that. Vader hits his trademark punches, clotheslines, and splashes Hogan in the corner. Hogan rolls to the floor, but Vader follows. Hogan throws Vader into Flair’s front row seat. Vader throws the guardrail in anger. Hogan punches and chops Vader. 10 punch in the corner, and a clothesline knocks Vader down. He then clotheslines him to the floor, which has become the move of the night. Vader in, and Hogan does some more punching. He goes for a slam, and naturally he blows it. Vader back on the offense, with punches, kicks, and chokes. He then hits a second rope Vaderbomb for 2. He then blows a Vadersault. The two go back to the floor, and Hogan hits Vader with a chair. The ref seems fine with it, so Hogan hits him again with a chair. Back in, Hogan misses a clothesline, and Vader hits a chokeslam. More Vadershots in the corner. Suplex gets two, and Hogan “Hulks up.” Punches, big boot, legdrop, and Vader kicks out at one. Hogan argues with the ref, though when you kick out at one, there’s not much to argue about. Vader knocks Hogan into the ref. Vader powerbombs Hogan and Flair revives the ref. Hogan “Hulks up” again and hits the boot and clotheslines him out again. Flair runs in for the DQ and the two doubleteam Hogan. Flair gets the figure-four on Hogan, but Savage and Sting make the save. Even Vader no-selling the legdrop can’t save this match. *1/2. Hogan celebrates. End of show.

It’s WCW. It’s 1995. It was what I expected. Seven match card, five matches that couldn’t even get out of the below-average realm, and I take back what I said earlier. Paul Roma WAS in the best match of the card. Though the back story was the only thing that really made it interesting. What’s sadder is that the follow-up show, UNcensored would be EVEN WORSE.

Thumbs down, avoid it, C-. Get someone to dub the Roma/Wright match for you, though. It’s worth seeing.

Sydney Brown