wrestling / Video Reviews

411 Video Review: King Of The Ring 94

September 7, 2002 | Posted by Bob Barron

Coliseum people were preparing and Jeff Jarrett shows up and says he’s gonna win. Owen and Bigelow show up and stake their claim. IRS then shows up too and is like I’m gonna win.

Todd previews the card.

Live from Baltimore. Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage and NFL Hall of Famer Art Donovan

Ricky Medlow sings the anthem.

Here is the KOTR Bracket-
Bam Bam v. Razor
IRS v. Mabel
Jarrett v. Kid
Owen v. Tatanka

Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) v. Razor Ramon in a KOTR Quarterfinal

Razor throws his toothpick at Luna so Bam Bam kicks his ass. Top-rope headbutt misses and Razor hammers away. Razor crotches Bigelow on the ringpost. Razor with a top-rope bulldog for two. Apparently they didn’t tell Art what’s going on or any of the storylines cause he is just totally lost. Enziguri by Bam Bam misses. Two clotheslines don’t take Bam Bam down but on a charge Bammer chucks him out. Bam Bam works him over. Enziguri gets two. Backbreaker by Bam Bam. Arm drops twice, not thrice. He still keeps the backbreaker on. Razor comes back with a suplex. “I thought the poor guy was dead. Now they’re both out. What happens now?” Art. Razor hammers away, Bam Bam misses a blind charge and Razor slams him. Bam Bam blocks the Edge but Razor takes him down on a moonsault and rolls him up for three. Solid match- nothing fancy about it. **1/2

Todd is with IRS and Mabel. IRS screws up his promo.

I.R.S. v Mabel (w/Oscar) in a KOTR Quarterfinal

IRS meets the turnbuckle and Mabel dances. Mabel slams him and dances. Suplex and Mabel dances. Another suplex and an elbow. IRS dumps him. IRS works him over. IRS with a small package and he chinlocks him. Mabel rams him back into the corner and kicks his ass. Mabel dances. Mabel with a Bossman slam for two. Mabel goes up top but IRS shakes the ropes. Mabel falls and IRS covers for the pin. This match was awful, fo sheez. DUD

Jim Cornette is backstage with Fuji, Crush and Yoko.

Tatanka v. “The Rocket” Owen Hart in a KOTR Quarterfinal

Tatanka attacks to start and gets a near fall. Suplex-two. Owen goes to the eyes and works a headlock. Tatanka with two armdrags and a headlock. Owen chucks him out but Tatanka lands on his feet. Tatanka pulls him out and they brawl on the outside. Owen sends Tatanka into the rail.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Backstage IRS and Razor are getting into it. Back in- Owen kicks Tatanka’s ass. Top-rope dropkick gets two. Owen rests for a long time before Tatanka channels the spirit of Sacajewa, Geroniomo and Sitting Bull and even Tecumseh and comes back and kicks some ass. DDT-two. Tatanka goes up top with a top-rope chop for two. Tatanka slams him for two. Tatanka chops away but they channel Summerslam 92 and Owen pins him the way Davey Boy pinned Bret. **

Todd is with Diesel and HBK. HBK is pretty funny and talks about a Hart sibling rivalry.

Jeff Jarrett v. The 1-2-3 Kid in a KOTR Quarterfinal

Jarrett bails and grabs Kid’s leg. Jarrett kicks his ass. Kid gets a rollup for two. Jarrett stomps away and clotheslines him. Jarrett misses a dropkick and Kid with a victory roll for two. Jarrett with a suplex and a top-rope fistdrop. Jarrett walks into a roundhouse kick for two. Somersault splash misses but Jarrett misses a kneedrop. Kid blocks a superplex and gets a crossbody for two. Kid works him over but msises a blind charge. Jarrett orks on the leg and goes for the figure four but Kid small packages him for three. ***- a little short (keep that in mind later) but these guys work well together. Post-match Jarrett gives him three piledrivers.

Poor Jarrett- he’s stuck in NWATNA hell. After you browse through every article thrice at 411 go to thesmartmarks.com and read Dames’ reviews. He loves the Yankees so after you read his work email him by saying Yankees suck!

Commentators discuss the tourney. WWF New Generation ad.

Todd is with Bret who says he’s gonna beat Diesel but won’t reveal his mystery cornerman who is family.

Bret “Hitman” Hart (w/Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart) v. Diesel (w/Shawn Michaels) for the WWF Title

Anvil is Bret’s cornerman. Bret gives his glasses to a fan. Lockup- Diesel shoves him back. Lockup- Bret with a waistlock but Diesel rams him into the corner and elbows him. Slugfest- Diesel wins duh. Diesel chokes him with his boot. Blind charge by Diesel misses and he gets crotched. Bret hammers away and rolls him up for two. Bret runs into a Diesel slam but Diesel misses the elbow. Bret rams him into the corner. Diesel goes for the eyes and elbows him. Diesel chokes him but misses a blind charge. Bret works on the leg. He goes for the Sharpshooter but can’t turn him over so instead goes to the figure four. Bret continues working on the leg and gets a spinning leglock. While working on the legs Diesel sends him flying. Bret rams Diesel’s leg into the post twice. HBK seeing this runs and clotheslines him. Anvil chases HBK around. The ref is distracted with Anvil allowing HBK to kick him. Bret comes off the top but Diesel caches him in mid-air and bear hugs him. Bret bites him to escape and kicks him in the back. That and a push send Diesel out. Plancha misses and Diesel rams him into the post. Back in- Diesel works him over and gets some near falls as HBK interferes. Anvil is the worst cornerperson ever. Bret hammers away but Diesel shrugs it off and Bret goes face first into the corner for two. Diesel clotheslines him for two and works him over. Backbreaker-two. HBK loosens the turnbuckle padding as Diesel holds Bret in the air with a backbreaker. Arm drops twice, not thrice. Bret reverses into a sleeper but Diesel rams him into the turnbuckle. Blind charge by Diesel misses and Bret gets a sleeper again but Diesel breaks. Diesel throws Bret into the ref. Diesel tries to ram Bret into the turnbuckle but Bret rams him into it. Bret hammers away and starts kicking ass. A bunch of clotheslines get two. Russian leg sweep, second rope elbow get two. Bret almost hooks the sharpshooter but decides to nail HBK who goes flying into the railing. Damn- HBK always bumping. Bret tries a backslide but settles for a small package for two. Diesel comes back but Bret blocks Snake Eyes but walks into a big boot. Diesel poses too much and Bret hooks the Sharpshooter but Diesel makes the ropes. Bret dropkicks him out. Diesel beats up Anvil and HBK levels Bret with the belt. Elbow-two. Diesel jacknifes him as Anvil beats up HBK and runs in for the DQ. ***1/2 Anvil leaves allowing HBK and Diesel to kick his ass.

Todd is with King.

Back to the King of the Ring-
Razor Ramon v. IRS
Owen Hart v. 1-2-3 Kid

Razor Ramon v. IRS in a King of the Ring semifinals

IRS calls Razor a tax cheat idiot. Razor attacks to start and kicks his ass. Back in- IRS knees him and works him over. IRS dives at Razor but goes flying out and they brawl on the outside. Back in- they slug it out and IRS works on the right leg and does a chinlock with a foot on the ropes.

Funny bit- While he does it this old lady keeps pointing out and yelling: REF! REF! REF!

Razor hammers away and uses the tie to his advantage. IRS with a clothesline but he puts his head down and Razor wit the Razor’s Edge for the win. Well that was boring. DUD

Backstage a pissed off Bret is looking for Jim Neidhart. Todd is backstage with the brackets.

“The Rocket” Owen Hart v. The 1-2-3 Kid

Kid comes out looking very woozy. Just to be a piece of shit Owen baseball slides him and flies out after him. Back in- Owen with a diving headvbutt for two. Owen, like Bret, takes the fave first corner bump. Kid with a crossbody for two. Grapevine crucifix for two. They do a cool sequence that leads to a Kid spin kick for two. Owen with an enziguri for two. Kid kicks him in the head and does a bridge suplex for three but Owen’s foot on is on the ropes. Ref realises his mistake as Kid flies out on Owen. Owen blocks a kick with a German Suplex. Owen with an overhead suplex for two. Kid blocks a suplex with a rollup for two which Owen reverses for two, Kid goes for a hurricarana but Owen PLANTS him with a powerbomb and hooks the Sharpshooter. Whoa. Yea it was only four minutes but it was all action with no resting, awesome moves and great drama. ****1/4

Roddy Piper is backstage putting on his pants for a Coliseum exclusive and disses Hell Comes to Frogtown. How much drugs did Piper take before doing this?

The Headshrinkers (w/Captain Lou Albano and Afa) v. Yokozuna and Crush (w/James E. Cornette and Mr. Fuji)

I didn’t need to see Captain Lou’s breasts. Crush channels Jeff Hardy by having stuff painted on his face. They do a staredown and all four men go at it. The Headshrinkers collide, fight each other for some reason and then Team Fuji headbutt them which the Headshrinkers no-sell and kick ass. Yoko and Crush bail. Samu (Who looks like Rhyno) goes with Yoko. He can’t slam him but sends him to the outside. Fau and Crush go. Crush hammers away and rams his head into the mat but you can’t hurt their heads so Fatu no-sells and plants Crush with a piledriver. Diving headbutt-two. Fuji whacks Fatu with the flag and Crush clotheslines him allowing the 360 sell. Fatu plays face-in-peril as they both work him over. Yokozuna misses a blind charge, hot tag Samu who cleans house. They whip them both into each other and double kick Yoko who falls out. Samu goes up top but Yoko causes Samu to get crotched. Crush with a superplex and legdrop. The ref is distracted allowing Yoko to drop the leg. BUT WAIT! All-American, made in the USA and Mr. Choker Lex Luger runs in distracting Crush who gets rolled up for two. Crush dumps Samu and Fatu superkicks him for the win. Wasn’t as bad as you would think.*1/2

Post-match Crush kicks Lex’s ass. Lex recovers via 3 on 1 attack. Damn- this guy can’t get a break. Crush decides to run back in but again it takes all three to kick his ass. Poor Lex.

Todd is with Owen who disses Bret and smugly wishes Stu a Happy Father’s Day.

The King of the Ring has now come down to-
Razor v. Owen.

Razor Ramon v. “The Rocket” Owen Hart to determine the 1994 King of the Ring

Razor nails him to start ad Owen is wicked pissed. Owen soon slaps him in the face and Razor slams him. Not the Razor slam, a regular Razor slam. An elbow gets two. Owen slaps him again . Haha Owen rules. Owen misses a dropkick and Razor slingshots him. Rollup two. Owen gets a headscissors but Razor rolls over. Owen bridges up and they fight over a backslide which Razor wins for two. Razor with a headlock. Owen with a spinwheel kick and he works him over. Abdominal stretch and again the old lady keeps yelling: REF! Hilarious stuff. Razor breaks it and comes back with a chokeslam for two. Razor slam gets two. Owen with the Russian Leg Sweep. He goes for a moonsault but Razor stops it and does the Razor suplex from the top. Razor’s Edge but Owen backdrops him out. Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart comes down and beats the shit out of him as Owen and Joey Marella discuss fine wines. Flying elbow by Owen wins it and my friend Mr. Zsasz is like: Yea! Bret won it in 1993 and Owen follows right in his footsteps winning it 1994. They also both defeated Razor Ramon in the tourney. I’ve seen better matches between these guys but it’s not like this sucked. **1/4

Despite hating Bret, Anvil wanted Bret to win so Owen could take the title from him. Owen and the Anvil kick Razor’s ass and give him the Hart Attack.

Ray Rougeau is with Bret Hart who is too shocked to speak. Commentators discuss. Randy confirms my explanation for Anvil saving Bret. They completely ignore Art which is too funny.

It’s now time to coronate Owen. Todd reads from the scroll as Owen mugs for everyone which is too funny. Owen is kind enough to remind us all the victories he had and he DEMANDS respect. Pres. Jack Tunney is about to present Owen with the crown but Owen decides to have Anvil do it and to add to the prestige- makes Todd go down on one knee. Owen sits in the throne and Anvil gets the crown and puts it on Owen’s head. Todd talks some more but Owen notices that Todd displeases him (yea areacode) and interrupts him and asks to be referred to now as: The King of Harts. Man- I miss Owen a lot and his coronation was hilarious.

Commentators discuss. Video package of King-Piper. This kid does an awesome Piper impression.

Jerry “The King” Lawler v. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (w/kid who imitated him)

Gorilla proclaims that this match is what the New Generation is all about. At this point all the top brass in the WWF cared about getting Vince acquitted so I’m sure this conversation went down-

Pat Patterson: Hey I got an idea- let’s ask Vince to book Piper v. King as the main event of a PPV.
Brisco: That washed up old cripple druggy v. The washed up old guy
Patterson: Yea.
Brisco: Good one- can’t wait to hear how loud he laughs.
(Five minutes later)
Vince: Okay- so we’ll pay this witness $5,000 and we’ll ask this witness-
Patterson: Hey Vince- can I book Piper v. King for the PPV? And we’ll bring in a bunch of bapipers and stuff to play before Piper comes out.
Vince: Ummmmm yea sure whatever. (Patterson leaves) What did he say?

Main event of house show in 1980 Memphis or main event of a WCW PPV? King does some promo stuff dissing the Gov. of Maryland. A bunch of bagpipers play Piper out. Piper comes out with the kid who imitated Piper. Shouldn’t Piper be kicking his ass??

The kid does some more Piper stuff- God Roddy- lay off the roids. Piper kicks the shit out Lawler and even the kid eye pokes him. King lies on the mat for no reason so Piper knees him. WTF??????? It should be noted that Owen v. Kid got like four minutes. Piper keeps kicking King in the knees and atomic drops him- King goes flying. The kid gets involved and Piper protects him allowing King to throw punches. Why is Piper protecting that little shit??? I mean shouldn’t Piper be coconutting him. King hooks a chinlock for a while and Piper imitates Terry Funk by staggering and throwing phantom punches. Piledriver gets two. Piper channels the spirit of Fat Bastard and Colin Montgomerie and comes back. END THIS MATCH NOW! I like Piper. I like King. But they’re 500 yrs old and shouldn’t be fighting in a main event of a PPV showcasing the New Generation. King of course bops him with a foreign object and pins him with the feet on the ropes…for two. Piper suplexes him for three. Ummmmm that’s the finish?????? -****

Piper hoists the kid up…if he beats the shit out of him- I give this match *****. But he doesn’t.

HBK is with a pissed off Diesel who tells him by the time this video comes out he’ll have the belt. HBK=prophet.

The Bottom Line: Seeing Owen wrestle thrice is always cool, Bret v. Diesel is always cool and uhhhhhhhh had Piper beaten up the kid who imitated him the show would be the coolest thing ever. But he didn’t. Stupid Piper.

Anywho- this is an alright show with some good stuff and some bad stuff but Owen’s antics steal the show. Just FF anything Piper related.

Mild Recommendation

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Bob Barron

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