411 Video Review: Slamboree 2000

Live from Kansas City. Your hosts are Tony, Scott and Mark.

Last Wednesday there was a big battle royal that ended up with Macho Man coming in and Flair winning a battle royal to get to go to GAB as #1 contender.

The Millionaire’s Club bus is here. New Blood mock them.

Video package of Sting-Vamp, Flair-Douglas, Kidman-Hogan and Arquette-Jarrett-Page. Gotta love those shoot angles.

Chris Candido (w/Tammy Sytch) v. The Artist (w/Paisley) for the WCW Cruiserweight Title

Tammy: So this is Kansas City, Missouri. And from what I hear they call this the Show Me State. Well fellas how bout I show you mine. And boys you can owe me one.

Tammy looks seriously drugged out. She shakes her stuff while Candido does the worst ever job of covering her up. Lockup- they trade waistlocks and Artist gets a headlock and shoulderblock. Candido with a victory roll for two. They blow a spot that leads to a bridge suplex by Artist. Ten punches and then he slaps him. Artist backdrops him to the outside in an impressive spot. Brawl on the outside- Artist goes into the rail. Candido flies out after him but Artist nails him. Or something. Seriously- not even the announcers know who should sell. They brawl on the ramp and a backdrop gets two for the Artist. Artist gets a hurricarana but Candido uses his power to get a near fall. Candido chops him but Artist hammers away. Candido whips him to the outside. Artist suplexes him to the outside. Back in- Candido ballshots him and gets a sort of powerbomb. He couldn’t lift him. Artist goes up top but gets caught coming down. Candido fucks up a hurricarana really badly, he just falls without grabbing him. Artist: I can botch spots too. Artist comes off the top and completely misses him but somehow rolls him up. Good lord these guys suck. The crowd seriously chants that. Good for them. Artist gets a Samoan Drop but a catfight erupts and Tammy nails Artist with a chair. It gets three. Oh wait- it gets two. Seriously- there’s like a three count and the ref rings the bell and then they’re like oh wait and restart it. Candido hits a flying headbutt for three. Fuckups galore here. * Paisley ballshots Candido and they pull Tammy’s dress off. Of course she’s wearing like shorts and a top underneath. Artist and Paisley celebrate.

Commentators talk about the Three Way Cage Match. Cage #2 is a hardcore cage. Cage #3 is a guitar cage. We get a video package of Terry Funk getting his ass kicked. Way to build him up.

Terry Funk v. Screaming Norman Smiley and ? for the WCW Hardcore Title

Norman Smiley was one of the bright spots of WCW in 2000 but for reasons unknown was never given a push at all. Terry is walking backstage and he finds Norman in the bathroom. Ass is bleeped. Norman is wearing a Royals jersey. Norman kicks his ass backstage. Terry gets rammed into a Coke machine. The mystery partner is dressed in catcher’s gear. Garbage cans galore. Funker comes back and now Norman starts screaming. The Mystery Partner throws boxes at him. Terry throws chairs at him. Mystery hits Terry with trashcans. Terry fights them both off. Norman comes back and whips Terry with crates. Terry kills him with chairshots. Terry salms him on concrete while Tony begs the mystery partner to hit him wit ha garbage can. He does and Terry no-sells. Terry kills Norman with more shots. Terry beats up the mystery partner. They head back to the arena and Terry kills mystery with chairshots. He pulls off the jersey and headgear and IT’S RALPHUS!! Crowd gets a shot at Ralphus’ ass. Norman attacks Funk from behind. We get icky shots at Ralphus’ ass and navel. Norman dumps a ladder onto Funk. Big Wiggle onto Funk and he chairs him. Ralphus does the Big Wiggle, Tony is in hysterics. Terry chairs Ralphus and rolls Funk up. Well that was different. ** Norman and Ralphus dance. Scott: Where’s Standards and Practises when you need them?

Mean Gene is with Arquette. He’s vexed about why Arquette didn’t arrive with the Millionaire’s Club. Arquette is scared.

Shawn “The Perfect One” Stasiak v. Curt Hennig

Viewers watching Nitro as Perfect One comes out-
Jim: Hey- I get it- he’s ripping off that Mr. Perfect character from the WWF.
Joe: Speaking of the WWF- let’s see what HHH and Rock are doing right now.

Stasiak was ripping off the Mr. Perfect gimmick. Stasiak kicks his ass but Curt comes back and Stasiak bails. Curt was pretty over- I wonder why WCW buried him. Damn Curt- I was among the many screaming for him to come back to the WWF and then he does and he completely blows it by acting like an asshole. Thanks Curt. Hennig does his usual offence as the Misfits are in the front row. Stasiak dumps him and kicks his ass on the outside. Hennig tries to slam him but he hurts his back. Get it? Stasiak with a sleeper forever but he misses from the top and Hennig goes Minnesota on his ass. MIA are still in the front row. Stasiak slingshots him into the corner like every Hennig match and Stasiak gets the Perfectplex to win it. Curt wasn’t motivated and when you’re known as the guy who fought Kurt Angle in his worst match ever then your opponent has to pretty damn over to carry you. ѕ*

Vince Russo and Scott Steiner tease dissension.

Hugh: From here on in I never want to be called Hugh Morrus again. Not from you or you. The name was given to me by Eric Bischoff. It was a brain fart! It was stupid! From now on you call me by my real name: Hugh G. Rection! Captain Rection for short.

Hey Hugh- you know what was a brain fart and really stupid??? You being called Hugh G. Rection

Scott Steiner (w/Shakira and Midajah) v. Hugh G. Rection for the WCW US Title

Lockup- Steiner kicks his ass. Rection comes back and Steiner bails to jaw with the crowd. Damn- Shakira is hot. Midajah and Shakira flirt with Rection allowing Scott to sneak in and kick some ass. Rection blocks a slam and gets a spinning heel kick for two. Rection hits an atomic drop and flying elbow but he goes for No Laughing Matter and the freaks push him off and cause him to be hung in the Tree of Woe. Steiner beats on him and jaws with the other members of MIA. Elbow-2. Steiner feels the power of Roid Rage and goes after the ref. Steiner suplexes him and does some pushups. Belly to belly gets two, Steiner chases the ref. Bearhug by Scott and he suplexes him. He goes to jaw with the fans and flex. Blind charge by Steiner eats foot and Hugh hammers away. He runs into him twice but on the third try he runs into a clothesline. Double underhook suplex but Rection gets a Tombstone. No Laughing Matter misses, Steiner Recliner wins it. Squash city. *1/2 MIA try to run in but are stopped by security. Booker T runs in and kicks Steiner’s ass.

Mean Gene is with Kanyon who says he is friends with DDP.

Mike Awesome v. Chris “Champagne” Kanyon

Madden shoots on DDP. The problem with all this shooting is that the casual WCW fan doesn’t give a shit and are thus left confused by Vince Russo and Mark Madden being all inside. The internet thinks they like to be catered to but when they actually are with angles like this they become all uppity and upset.

Kanyon kicks his ass but misses a blind charge as the crowd is occupied with a flasher or something. Kanyon goes to the outside but Awesome hits a tope con hilip. Awesome kicks his ass on the outside. Kanyon sends Awesome into a post and Kanyon baseball slides him into post. Kanyon hits a somersault from the apron. Awesome drops him on top rope and works him over. On the outside Awesome uses a chair and nails him with a water bottle. Awesome chairs him again and they brawl some more. Awesome slingshots back in onto Kanyon for two. Kanyon comes back with a sunset flip but walks into a clothesline. More chairshots by Awesome but he gets crotched on the top rope. Kanyon with a reverse neckbreaker from the top for two. Another neckbreaker-two. Crossbody but Awesome rolls through for two. Kanyon comes back with a pancake for two. Kanyon tries a powerbomb but Awesome blocks and hits the Alabama slam. Runnin lariat by Awesome. Awesome murders him with a powerbomb dropping him right on his head and neck. He even looks concerned. He goes outside and exposes the concrete. Kanyon hammers away and he almost falls onto the concrete but he slingshots back in onto Kanyon. Kanyon blocks Razor’s Edge but he can’t block a release German Suplex. Awesome goes for a powerbomb off the ramp but Kevin Nash runs in and kicks his ass. Way to make Kanyon look good. Kidman, Vampiro, Steiner, and Shane all run in but nothing can stop Kevin Nash! The numbers soon take over so Flair and Sting come in followed by R-n-B security. Crowd goes batshit. Match kicked major ass but the brawl could’ve been saved for after the match. ***3/4

Commentators discuss. Video package of Luger-Bagwell. Russo abuses Liz backstage. Russo- live out your fantasies via masturbation, not a PPV.

The Total Package v. Buff Bagwell

They do a posedown. Bagwell works him over. Package reverses a suplex and atomic drops him twice. Bagwell stops the ten punches before they reach ten and gets his ass kicked for his troubles. Bagwell chinlocks away. Scotty Riggs is mentioned as Buff continues to rest. Buff tries to jump on Package but gets nailed in the blls. Backstage Russo yells at Liz who taps him in the knee with a baseball bat and runs. Liz comes out as Package clotheslines Buff around. Liz comes in with the bat but Buff steals it and nails Package. Buff goes for the Blockbuster but Liz nails him with the bat and Package racks him. Lex Luger was so bad it was funny his last WCW yr. DUD Package and Liz hug. Chuck Palumbo runs in and beats up Package. This was supposed to lead to a feud between Package and Palumbo but Package got all uppity with the Russo-Liz angle and left.

Mean Gene is with Shane Douglas who disses Flair.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas v. Ric Flair

This feud was based on because for some reason or another (it’s Shane Douglas I don’t give a shit) Shane hates Flair and always cut promos dissing him and insulting him and the like. No one really cared. Vince Russo who ejaculates anytime a chance to do a shoot angle comes up was like: I’m from New Yawk- cha-ching. Bischoff was like: Well as long as Ric Flair jobs then we’re set. Oh and can we have it in Charlotte as well? See the problem is is that misguided thinks Flair is a fuckhead Shane Douglas v. Ric I’m not a fuckhead whats the beef Flair doesn’t draw anything. Had they done a feud where Douglas maybe befriended Nature Boy and then they had a bitter falling out- that draws. This show did the second lowest buyrate ever.

As usual Shane’s promo is too boring to transcribe. Flair comes out in street clothes, no robe? Flair cuts a promo that’s too awesome to transcribe. He promises to kick Shane’s ECW ass.

Flair styles and profiles to piss Douglas off. Douglas takes him down. Lockup- Shane wooooos. Flair gets a hammerlock but Douglas elbows him and gets a back bodydrop. Before he hammers away Shane does a tirade that gets bleeped. A Douglas blind charge runs into en elbow and a chop war erupts which Flair wins. Flair goes up top and of course gets slammed off. Mark Madden: That’s the 2,004th time he’s gone up top and gotten slammed off. Douglas locks in the figure four. Flair makes ropes. Douglas kicks his ass but gets chopped. Douglas tries a figure four but Flair gouges eye. Flair gives him THE GREATEST BALLSHOT EVER! Seriously- he just murders him. The fact that its Douchebag Douglas makes it sweeter. Douglas bails and Flair kicks his ass on the outside. Back in- Douglas suplexes him and nails him with a chain. Three suplexes in a row by Douglas get two. Flair tells him to Just Bring It and chops away at Douglas. Flair starts stylin and profilin and kicks him right in the balls. Woooooooo! Flair goes for the figure four but a guy in a Sting mask runs in and bops Flair with a bat giving Douglas the win. **1/2

Buff and Douglas beat up Flair. The announcers claim Russo is the fake Sting and Flair tells him to get his ass (not bleeped) in here. Lex Luger shows up and forces “Sting” into the ring. Vince Russo shows up and attacks Package (We don’t see how but of course Russo could kick Luger’s ass) Sting is revealed as David Flair in a heel turn we just saw one year ago. Russo does those ultra cool crotch chops as David and Russo beat up Flair. Kevin Nash comes out and kicks some ass but before he can jacknife Russo Dafney comes out and ballshots Nash and the heels do a beatdown. Cause Russo, David and Dafney could beat down a sixteen time world champion and 7’0 Kevin Nash. Well today they could kick Nash’s ass but like back then they couldn’t.

Video package of Sting v. Vampiro.

Vampiro v. Sting

Vampiro tries to attack him on the apron but Sting nails him on the apron and kicks his ass. Vampiro bails but Sting flies out after him. Back in- Vampirio takes control and beats up Sting with a lead pipe. See Russo-n-Bisch banned DQs which was stupid cause in the Douglas match he made sure the ref didn’t see the chain so as not to get DQed but in this match Vampiro is making Sting his bitch with the lead pipe. Sting bails but Vampiro follows and kicks his ass some more. Another lead pipe shot. Vampiro goes for a hurricarana but gets ballshotted and powerbombed. Sting beats him with the lead pipe. Stinger Splash, Stinger Splash w/lead pipe, two Deathdrops. Lead pipes suck. * Post-match Sting beats him again with a lead pipe. Who did Vampiro ever piss off?

Mike Tenay is with DDP and David Arquette. DDP tells him to stay out of Double J’s way. Nash is looking for Russo.

Tenay is with Kidman, Torrie, Bischoff, and Kimberly. Did anyone buy the New Blood shirt?

Billy Kidman (w/Torrie) v. Terry Bollea (w/Horace)

Bischoff is guest ref and comes out with Kimberly. So Kidman is Mick Foley, Torrie and Kimberly are the stooges, Bischoff is McMahon and Hogan is Stone Cold Steve Austin. I liked it in 1998.

See Hogan was so upset at the New Blood and B-n-R that he claimed Hulk Hogan was dead and called himself by his real name and kept saying words like ass, damn and FUNB. Of course everyone knew that Russo was just copying another WWF storyline that WCW had already copied in late 1998 with Bischoff and Flair. I think Hogan also realised everyone was mad cause he never worked with the young guys so he wanted to elevate that Kidman brother.

Bisch sends Horace to the back. Kidman gets a small package for two. Hogan blocks a victory roll by crotching him on top. He clotheslines him to the floor and lets Kidman play Bump Machine. Except not even Hogan can powerbomb Kidman and gets hurricaraned and bails. Hogan is all: Ass damn bottom line brother and beats on Kidman some more. Torrie helps Kidman and the camera zooms in on Kimberly’s breasts. Hogan whips him with the weightlifting belt but Bisch takes it allowing Kidman to attack. Vince gives Dude Love the belt and he whips Stone Cold with it. Hogan armdrags him to the outside. Hogan covers him but Bischoff won’t count. At least pull a Nick Patrick and do some outrageous acting. Another cover and Bisch won’t count. Wasn’t that match at Over the Edge 98 great? Hogan argues with Bisch allowing him to miss some elbows. Kidman uses his flea market offence on Hulk. They brawl on the outside and Hogan kicks his ass. Back in- Hogan hulks up and hits the big boot. Bisch blocks the big legdrop so Hogan decks him. He beats up Kidman some more. Bisch tries to hit him with a chair but it backfires and Hogan hits Bisch with the chair as Kidman flees. Hogan gets two tables- Hogan is hip to the beat and funky fly and fresh. Hogan breaks a table trying to set it up. Tool. He goes to put Bisch through a table and Kidman chairs Hogan in the back and forehead. No ref. Bisch wakes up and counts two. Hogan blades. Bisch holds Hogan for a Kidman chairshot but he kicks the chair in Kidman’s face and ballshots Bisch. Bisch gets powerbomed through a table and Hogan gets table #3. Kidman ballshots him and hits him with a chair. Hogan is laid out on a table and Kidman goes to splash him but he misses and Horace runs back in and moves Bisch’s hand to count three for the Hulk win. Match sucked but at least was kinda entertaining. *1/2

Russo: See at Over the Edge 1998, it was different.
Me: How so Russo?
Russo: Well New Yawk and like we had tables. They didn’t.

Vince Russo carries Liz to a bus but Luger is in the bus and rescues Liz back. Vince runs away as Nash is pissed in the back.

Video package of Double J-Arquette-DDP. Poor WCW- no one saw the movie in which the main event is based on.

David Arquette v. Jeff Jarrett v. Diamond Dallas Page in a Triple Cage Match for the WCW Title

Arquette got the title to get WCW in the news and to help R2R. To say it didn’t work would be a huge understatement.

Arquette is dressed like Elvis in a nod to 3K to Graceland. Arquette runs away. Jarrett goes after him but DDP attacks Double J. Jarrett stomps away and gets a DDT. Jarrett chases Arquette but walks into a clothesline from DDP. Another clothesline from DDP and he hits a Rock Bottom. Arquette goes for a top-rope splash but misses. DDP throws Jarrett into the cage twice. DDP gets a ladder but Jarrett baseball slides it into him. Page whips Jarrett into Arquette. Back in- DDP kicks his ass. He tries to crotch Jarrett on the post but Jarrett rams his head in. Jarrett nails Arquette but DDP attacks him and crotches him on the post. DDP sets up the ladder and nails Jarrett who goes flying into the cage and blades. DDP hammers away and rams him into the cage. DDP tries to climb to go into cage two but Jarrett suplexes him off the ladder. Jarrett tries to climb but gets powerbombed off. DDP whips him into the ladder twice. He goes for it again but Jarrett reverses and whips him into the ladder. Jarrett drops the ladder onto him and goes and gets another ladder and drops that on DDP. Jarrett climbs but DDP pushes him off. They both climb the ladder. DDp holds onto the cage and kicks the ladder and Jarrett falls onto the ramp. Jarrett is busted open pretty good. DDP climbs the ladder and is now into cage two. DDP uses cutters to open the door but Jarrett attacks him and sends him into a trashcan. Cage #2 is Hardcore Hell with tons of weapons. The cage is really loose and wobbly and it gives me HIAC 2 flashbacks. Jarret chairs him and goes for cage three but DDP stops him. Jarrett nails him with glass. DDP nails him with a chair and both go flying into the wall which falls. DDP sets up a table on wobbly cage two and slams Jarrett through it. DDP blades as well. Jarrett tries to go to cage three but DDP stops him with a chair. DDP and Jarrett brawl- DDP gets sent to the cage. They do an Irish whip sequence as everyone is scared they may fall off. David Arquette climbs to cage three as Mike Awesome runs in and beats up DDP. How did Awesome run in? DDP gives Awesome a Diamond Cutter. DDP and Jarrett climb to cage three as Arquette just stands there. Jarrett almost falls as they fight into the guitar room. Yes- there’s a guitar room. They both hit each other with guitars and DDP throws one at Arquette. They all climb to cage three and Arquette turns heel and whacks DDP with a guitar. Jarrett whacks him as well and Double J Gets the belt. Tony calls it “The Ultimate Swerve”. ****1/4 Damn- that was one hell of a match. They told quite a story in there, and used the three cages well and just worked their asses off.

Mike Awesome goes to beat up DDP but Kanyon shows up and they brawl. Mike Awesome throws Kanmyon off the top of the stage onto a gimmicked ramp. HOLY SHIT! What an awesome visual. Kanyon would turn on best buddy Page one month later.

The Bottom Line- Well considering this was WCW 2000 I was expecting lots and lots of crap which I did. But the main event just blew me away in its awesomeness plus it’s the only triple cage match ever. Kanyon-Awesome is pretty sweet as well but there is a ton of crap so we’ll say-

Mild Recommendation