The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (12.7.1985)
Posted by Adam Nedeff on 08.30.2014
Dan Spivey has arriveyed.
-Originally aired December 7, 1985.
-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino.
TITO SANTANA & PEDRO MORALES vs. GLADIATOR & STEVE LOMBARDI
-Bad week to be the champ; he’s working with a taped up groin and gets greeted by a very audible “Tito sucks!” chant. Damn.
-Tito tries to work the arm but Lombardi just punches him off, which pisses off Tito. Hiptoss by Tito, backdrop by Pedro. Pedro gets caught in the jobber corner, and Gladiator winds up accidentally kicking Lombardi to the floor and then gets atomic dropped over the top rope.
-Now it’s Tito’s turn to get trapped in the wrong corner. Practice makes perfect because this time the jobbers do everything right and Tito is in trouble. Tito makes the warmer-than-normal tag to Pedro, and Pedro cleans house. Tito clamps on the figure four, and a donnybrook erupts so Tito isn’t able to finish the job. The ring is cleared one more time and Pedro finishes with a backbreaker.
-Lord Alfred profiles the Killer Bees, who are having incredible success in the WWF tag team ranks.
DAVID SAMMARTINO vs. GINO CARABELLO
-Friendly reminder that this is pre-recorded. David gets a VERY mixed reaction.
-Back suplex by David while Vince notes that everything David does is something that Bruno does and that the body type is so similar that it just might as well be Bruno in there. Not only is he totally trapped in his father’s shadow, but I think the shittier problem for David is that he doesn't even have the most Italian name in this match.
-Slaps and headbutts by Gino, and David gets fired up and throws chops, then finishes with a powerslam.
-Gene Okerlund does some last-minute hype for Boston Garden’s matinee, today at 1:30 p.m. Gene talks to Bruno, who says that it’s been frustrating being forced to wait for an entire month. Bruno says he’s going to show what a washed up old man he really is in the ring today.
HART FOUNDATION (with Jimmy Hart) vs. JIM POWERS & SCOTT MCGHEE
-McGhee dropkicks Brett out of the ring, and the Hit Man lands with a painful ass-first crash on the concrete. Powers tags in and Brett is fired up enough to lay a total beating on him. Anvil sends Powers into the ropes and connects with a fist to the throat. Hart Attack finishes him. Weird to see Powers not getting any token offense.
-Gene Okerlund talks to Tito Santana about his match against “Jesse Cossell.” Tito clarifies that he calls him Jesse Cossell because like Howard, he lies to his friends and stabs them in the back the first chance he gets. Also, he says he’s enraged with Jesse after seeing Jesse sign an autograph for an old lady and then tear it up and throw it in her face. Don’t worry, Tito…she’s a stunt granny.
“Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF & DANNY SPIVEY vs. TERRY GIBBS & RUSTY BROOKS
-Spivey’s debut; Orndorff is still wearing his plaster cast.
-Dropkick by Spivey and a bodypress. Furry boots have their place in wrestling if your gimmick is, say, crazy untamed man, or Viking. Furry boots when your gimmick is “Guy from Florida named Dan” seem weird and out of place.
-Spivey throws a pair of dropkicks at Rusty Brooks and tags in Orndorff, and Orndorff knocks him clean out with a cast shot for the three count.
-Orndorff shows up before Piper is even out there, waving the cast. Piper emerges with an army: Orton, Beefcake, Valentine, Hart Foundation, and Hercules. Piper calls them reinforcements and Orton lifts Piper and holds him in his arms while Piper trashtalks Orndorff. Piper notes that he has so many friends, and none of them have to wear casts on their arms for a fight. And of course he’s saying that while literally in the arms of a guy wearing a cast; god, Piper was such a wonderful piece of shit heel. Orndorff actually backs away from the fight…this time.
GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE (with Captain Lou Albano) vs. JOE MIRTO
-Vince talks about Albano’s way of prepping George for matches, holding a “hype session” to get George worked up until he starts shaking, and THEN going straight to the ring.
-George bites Mirto, then the turnbuckles, then Mirto again.George walks all over Mirto’s arm to work it, which is a very character-appropriate unsophisticated way of going about the task. Flying hammerlock gets the submission.
-We look at more fun from “Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘N Wrestling,” with Hulk Hogan, Wendi Richter, and Captain Lou trying to bust some ghosts.
RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT & KING TONGA vs. THE MENACE & RON SHAW
-Wow. Is “The Menace and Ron Shaw” a great name for a detective novel or what?
-Tonga gets caught between both opponents and winds up taking both of them down with double headscissors. Melee erupts and both jobbers get wiped out. Elbow by Tonga, and the Menace gets double-teamed and double-teamed. The back of the Menace’s mask is starting to come loose and it appears that it’s Barry O. Double crescent kicks BARELY connect with the Menace, and they finish with a Doomsday-Device-Except-with-a-Bodypress-Instead-of-a-Clothesline-and-Steamboat-Also-Connects-with-His-Partner-on-Impact. Crowd turned on that match toward the end. It went ON forever and Steamboat didn’t give his opponents any offense the way he usually did, so it just kept going and going and going and going.
-Gene Okerlund talks to Jesse Ventura. He doesn’t dispute the story about the autograph, saying that, much like his good friend Prince, he doesn’t have to sign autographs. Jesse says he’s flattered that the Intercontinental Champion has worked so hard to climb the ladder just for a chance to wrestle Jesse Ventura. I love you, Jesse. Roddy Piper and Bob Orton hype their matches against Bruno and Pedro in the Garden, promising to kill a couple legends. Piper explains to the Boston fans that the reason that today’s event is a matinee is because Bruno can’t stay up late anymore.
The 411: Piper and Orndorff continue to deliver in their feud, but beyond that, it was really Just Another Week.